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I don’t want reassurance I just want to vent, I genuinely cant tell if I’m a good person anymore. I feel like I’m just pretending to be one at this point because most of my thoughts are weird / gross. I know they’re not real but because my ocd strives from my senses it feels like it is / the fact that I pay attention to them even when my ocd isn’t really messing with me makes it even worse, like I’m okay with it and I’m just in denial. I don’t really know what to do anymore

Question about delayed obsessions. Tonight I did my groceries and wiped them all down (contamination ocd) and washed my hands and arms before heading up to shower. As I dried my arms on the hand towel I was feeling really calm. I debated putting the towel in the wash but I was feing confident and said "nah, just deal with it, Cat". Now three hours later I hate that I have been washing and drying my hands with the same towel and touching my phone. I am working really hard to not sanitize my phone. I'm in bed with it now just trying to sit with it. I plan on just sitting with the discomfort. The towel was used on clean hands and fomites are not the major issue with covid 19. Cdc guidelines and no more. My question is, why was I so confident in the moment but three hours later am having the obsessions? It makes me feel like I have to do compulsions even if I think I'm fine because later i will regret not doing it. What's up with that??

My gecko died, I knew it was coming, she's been sick for awhile. It's still horrible, but I don't feel emtionally sad like I should and my thoughts seem worse. I cried some but I felt empty like I do now....I don't know how ocd related it is but i really hate I'm not feeling how I should..

Hey guys. I'm a young teenager living with severe ocd. But my family tend to make fun of me for it. I have mainly the thoughts, over thinking, and perfectionist. But they won't let me get help. I have SPD. (Skin picking disorder) which has tagged along with my ocd...and I've been doing it for awhile..the worst its ever been, was when I peeled my thumb skin all the way back and u could see everything bc the thoughts said "if you dont than you wont be able to tell if u still have control, who knows u could take this pen and gouge someones eye out" typical thoughts. I just need help..coming to terms with my ocd..and informing my family that it's not getting better.

I’m so tired . Why does my brain want to destroy me ?

Ugh I just saw a tik tok that was like “I always admired women never liked them and now I’m bi” and my anxiety spiked fuck this I was doing so much better

please help. This is so urgent dunno what to do it’s every thought hi! so my friend has ocd (he thinks, never been diagnosed). He has recently told me about this and I want to do something to help him. He keeps thinking about something he might have/ might not have done in the past and hes worried he will go to jail in the future for it. He cannot do anything now because he’s obsessed with the thought of “why should he be happy if he’s just going to go to jail” he told me basically he cannot watch any YouTube anymore, hang out with friends, do well in classes because he’s like “what’s the point if he’s just going to end up in jail and lose all of his friends anyway” can someone point me in the right direction to how I can help him??? Backstory: he was involved in findom which is where men feel submissive and decide to give money to others in return to be hurt, humiliated, blackmailed..etc. he also sold lots of feet pics. He stopped doing this 3 months ago. He was worried at first about hurting them even tho they’re the ones that hurt themselves. Then he got worried about blackmailing even though it was consensual and they asked for it. He had recently gotten into the scary thing of like “omg what if I blackmailed and it was not consensual” or “what if I threatened someone and they didn’t want it” he’s been FLIPPING about this and can’t do anything with his life because he’s sooo flipping afraid. It’s gotten him to the point where he doesn’t wanna wake up :/. I’m gonna forward this link to him so please make responses OUT TO HIM. He doesn’t wanna post to reddit for private reasons. Thank you! Thank you!

I find myself doing things to face my fears, like for example kissing my daughter, holding her, being very physical with her. But I am overcome with doubts and second guesses about my motives behind those affectionate gestures and the feelings they provoke. They provoke feeling in me and it’s not sexual arousal but it is a good feeling. I feel then bad for kissing her or whatever the physical touch may be. But I do them anyways as a form of not giving into the compulsion of avoiding physical contact. But then I start to feel guilty for having an emotion, and start doubting what emotion triggered me to be affectionate and physical with her...I’ll do things like be extra affectionate to try and stand up to my ocd but it ends up making it worse because I feel guilty and gross for kissing on my daughter. Like last night I was experimenting with being super affectionate and not letting my ocd get in the way of being affectionate. I ended up kissing her on her cheek and neck and nibbled on her chin, in a very affectionate, playful way. I did it in front of everyone and it happened really fast. And immediately I was worried I did it out of an intrusive, sexual feeling I was having. I am now ruminating in the action. Why did I nibble her chin? It’s the same as when people kiss babies feet right? Is that sexual abuse? Why would I put her chin in my mouth? What was my motive behind that action? Am I sexual deviant who can’t control her actions? Not seeking reassurance just wondering if anyone can relate.... I keep replaying the event in my mind and it gets worse and worse with each replay.

What is “real event” ocd?

Somebody with tinnitus ocd can help me understand

Anyone else have a triggering workplace? I work in a criminal defense law firm and I have to read horrible police reports and stuff all day long it’s very emotionally bd raining and triggering. I worry when I read the sexually explicit ones that I am enjoying it somehow. I worry when I read the ones about people snapping and killing their family members or loved ones or abusing their children that it’ll happen to me. The human mind is so complex and I’m reminded of that everyday at work. I feel like I’m always one small step away from ending up in jail, or hurting someone I love.

anybody else feel the need to read every single post on here because if they don’t they think they will miss sometning important?

*not seeking reassurance* just wondering if anyone can relate... my contamination OCD has many things throughout my house that I avoid, but I find myself THINKING I touched them when I walk by them or got too close. Does anyone else experience this? And how do you handle it? Because the “WHAT IFS” have been kicking my ass lately! I just want to enjoy my life and stop walking on eggshells everywhere! Even in public! A 15 minute target run turns into an hour because I have to avoid walking to close to others or if a kid runs to close to me I have to put everything back and get a different one of each because my OCD tells me then I’m taking these “germs” home with me...

Real event ocd related Why cant I forgive myself for what I did? I have a heavy guilt and the strong will to confess to everyone. I think i cant forgive me and that I probably already confessed in public and this can be a bad thing. I wish I could take what I did, along wirh ocd to my grave

Is anyone on? Really need some help on my last posts

Long post. Idk if anyones even gonna read this, but I just need to let this out there somewhere besides my friend’s inbox who has heard the same problems over and over again. Ive had OCD for almost 3 years now. At first, my obsessions were mostly POCD. That was my main problem, and it persisted for most of these three years in varying intensities. I still struggle with it, but it’s gotten better. However, over the past two-ish months, i have a kinda new set of obsessions - Sexuality and gender OCD at the same time. I have known for nearly a decade that i am a trans man (meaning i was designated a girl at birth and have been transitioning to a man). This whole time, my whole life, all i can ever remember, is that I have been exclusively attracted to men, too. I have always found girls aesthetically pleasing, a lot of my favorite characters are girls, but have never felt attraction to them. I have questioned myself about this before, but not really in an OCD way even since I have been diagnosed with OCD. That changed two months ago, when suddenly i started questioning both if i secretly like girls AND if I have been lost this whole time and id actually be more comfortable as a girl. Its so distressing to think about, all day every day like when I first got diagnosed. Joy has vanished from my life. I cant feel attraction anymore besides from what feels like false attraction. I question myself every time when i see someone of either sex if i’m attracted to them or if i want to be them. I miss finding my boyfriend attractive. I scrutinize every feature in people to try to answer these questions. It fills me with anxiety and dread to even think of relationships now. I feel like i’m living a lie and i dont even know it. The groinal responses are constant. If i feel just a tiny bit of attraction to a man, i feel like i’m lying. If i think a girl is pretty, i feel like my ocd is right then too. I just dont know what to do anymore. My only source of income is doing commission paintings, of which all have been of romantic couples. Its so hard to work now because i pause drawing to question myself if im attracted to who im drawing, if i want to be the men im drawing, if i find it “cute and romantic and heartwarming” enough. I havent felt this hopeless in a long time. Im scared to pay for therapy when i finally have the money to because what if theres nothing wrong with me after all, or im too far gone to help, and its just a waste of time and money? I dont know who i am anymore.

i’m going to be honest, completely and truly. if you’re in anyway transphobic, racist, sexist, against the lgbt in anyway! you’re a terrible person. especially with this new terrible intrusive thought i’ve been trying to cope with i will never understand how someone can just be intolerant and disgusting and a shit person!! all people are people, regardless of gender or sexuality or the color of their skin!! we all bleed! we all have a heart and we all have emotions! how can you fear becoming something terrible if you already are if you’re any of the things i mentioned! i understand the fear you might feel of losing yourself for fear of being gay or anything similar but remember to be kind and respectful with your words.

i’m having intense anxiety right now because i keep ruminating about if i have deleted every single account and email with my real name on it. (one of my fears is my name being on the internet) i can’t breathe currently. i already know i couldn’t have deleted every single thing because when i was younger i didn’t care about that stuff, and it drives me insane knowing that i can’t go back and remove it all. does anyone have any tips to deal with the anxiety? i would like to sleep tonight.

So after going for things way too high in my hierarchy list thinking I could handle them and failing, I’m now left feeling worse by far. I reverted to my safety behaviours and routines But because my ocd is primarily to do with mental contamination, I’ve mentally contaminated some things i really love doing, hobbies - and now I no longer feel the same way about them because they feel contaminated as well as bring back bad memories. This has left. Me feeling really down, what can I do to get back those feelings of love for these things that I had, is it even possible? I notice that I’m now avoiding doing them because it reminds me of what I’ve lost Any suggestions would be much appreciated

My parents don’t take my mental health seriously. Sometimes I’ve even yelled out that I have suicidal thoughts (sometimes I do have them but sometimes it’s to get their attention) and they literally don’t care or say “ok do it then what are we gonna do, we have our own problems”. I have a therapist, but it’s just messed up how parents don’t take this stuff seriously.