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the NOCD Community

For those who have sought out a psychiatrist, how was your experience? I’m wanting to see one just to talk about potential medication options since I already have a separate therapist, but honestly I’m scared about opening up to someone who isn’t necessarily an OCD specialist. My main themes are suicidal OCD and existential OCD so I’m afraid the mention of these topics to a psychiatrist who might not be aware that these are possible OCD themes would not only diagnose me with severe depression (which I’m not depressed at all) but would forcefully send me to a psychiatric hospital. I’ve also heard some professionals don’t even believe in “Pure O” OCD and many sites only mention that compulsions are physical. I feel like I’m taking a huge risk to potentially be misunderstood with who knows what consequences following. I don’t know if I should share the exact nature of how OCD affects me, but at the same time I’d like to feel comfortable and safe enough to share my story and be understood. Anyone have any insight or experiences?

I’m new to this community. My daughter is 14 and is suffering from what I believe is contamination ocd. She was just fine this evening and out of no where was crying uncontrollably. I’m so lost as a parent because I don’t know how to help her. I can’t even give a hug. I feel so bad just letting her cry.

I want to eat over my thoughts but the thoughts have opened so many questions and I'm scared I've forgotten how to think and feel normally

fighting off the urge to research comp het right now 😭😭

Any one else acted on urges but to test the thoughts ? I have told my therapist and she says it doesnt meen I'm a pedo but it's just a compulsion and that I'm doing it to check I rubbed my hands up my little boys thighs in an attempt to check that I definitely wouldnt feel anything but then when I did it I felt like that meant I molested him. I've had this happen befor and i know its ocd but its killing me

just realizing how much reassurance i do without knowing it like with mental compulsions i just feel like its harder to know if you arent doing them because okay say i do my erp in the middle of sitting there my thoughts get loud too loud for me to even do a mental compulsion its like sit and let it go then as it gets less loud my brain is like oh yeah comfort speaking of comfort here all the examples in your life of why you arent that thing you think you are because that will make us feel even better and then i have to fight it and go oh but you are oh but those things dont make you not a x,y, or z thats ocd math that you do ... and i even use my erp as a reassurance compulsion i go well look the erp exercises are doing what they are supposed to that means you do have ocd that means youre not x,y, or z and its like my brain just jumps there so fast and in order to not have to start all over again with my erp i just have to say the opposite of my accidental reassurance and go well you dont know that you can do those things and still be what you dont want to be ... i feel like reassurance comes so naturally to me i am always without trying finding ways to prove my fear isnt true like i have to basically delete all the reassurance ive done because im not actively trying to do it its like my mind just knows to go back to examples in my life that make me not a p*** or gay because ive done that my whole life and then using ocd as a thing to be like see youre not that its ocd like i think im finally getting what i have to do like if im reassuring myself mentally without trying everytime i reassure myself in life i have to unreassure myself right after, i have to go "but youre not" or "look remember this so youre not" i have to tell myself but you could be and that math doesnt make you not gay and not a p*** i have to tell myself that until basically reassuring myself isnt something i automatically do ... lol only took me like 9 sessions 😂 but god that sucks because ocd can be like a bully its screaming at you that you are this you are that you want something you dont want you visualize things you dont want to see and instead of going oh its just ocd and all of it is your mind playing tricks on you i have to almost agree with it i have to almost go maybe that is true as many times as possible until the alarm isnt as loud ... that sucks like the therapy for a bully in hour head isnt to fight back but to be like yeah maybe youre right and i dont care (even though you do) but the idea of getting to a point where i dont care about these thoughts to me makes me go well wouldnt that be more proof i am that thing because if the thoughts dont disturb me then that does make me evil... ugh ocd sucks... im constantly looking for proof that i am bad or good and half the time i dont even notice it because its just so natural for me

I have urges not doing anything with my husband... 😞 I loved cuddling with him giving him head rubs... every time I wake up I feel nothing... I want to be with him normally again.. I keep having urges to break up with him when I don’t want to... 😖 I don’t wanna lose my baby... I don’t want a new boyfriend... I don’t want the other man touching me 😭 I hear thoughts tell be just friends... I believe my thoughts and feelings bc I kept testing say I’m not in love with him just to test myself 😭 I shouldn’t have done that.... my relationship of 10 years is gonna end! 😭😭

I just don’t understand anymore. Can there be some truth to obsessions without them having to be real?? I have evidence supporting that I may be lesbian even though I’m married and never thought I was before. Someone posted last night about gay people in denial rationalizing their attractions or thoughts and I do that in terms of erotica that I read and my reactions to certain sexualized images. I’m losing sleep, I just want peace

PLEASE READ I wake up everyday with a thought and heartache that I am getting used to live with my boyfriend around and I don't love him anymore and that I lied to myself since a long time that I love him and it hurts :( Today I woke up with the very same thought when I had ocd ish dream. because I had a crush on a guy for days or two even when I was in a relationship with him. I didn't do anything about that crush and I didn't recall it until recently. But my mind days that I started lying to myself that I love my boyfriend after getting a crush over another guy . I don't recall. And my mind is making things up which scares me to death. I have dreams of my exs but m glad that even in my dreams I chose my boyfriend as in my consciousness he is there even though my dreams shoe the opposite. Why am I being so mean..... I feel like I am hiding that I don't love him anymore behing this distortion and faking everything.

I woke up and I immediately got HOCD thoughts. Yesterday it was full day POCD. I can't see this ever going the right way. I wish I was just dead. Why does it have to be all day long

I read an article about how people who are gay before coming out were in denial and they would try to convince themselves they were straight, hope and pray they were straight, and try to rationalize all their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors about their sexuality. I myself do all of these things so how do I know if I'm struggling with hocd or in denial of my sexuality. Can someone please respond

So onetime I posted something and this one guy on tik tok said “do girls like (characters name) as much as boys love (female characters name)” and at the time I didn’t know I had hocd but I was like “I find him attractive but I liked (f characters name) better and I thought to myself ‘omg because I like the female character in the show better does that mean I like girls’ and then he said “ohhh are you bi because I don’t like bi girls ” and I said “no I just like anime girls, but even if I did what’s wrong with it” and he said “oh because I don’t want that much competition” and I was like a little annoyed because his excuse was kinda dumb and I’m worried that because I got annoyed than that means I was offended because I’m gay or something IDK but the whole time I was wondering “omg what if I’m gay what if I’m gay” I’m worried because I stuck up for them than that means im gay and one time around the beginning of hocd this girl called me gay as an insult and I was like “why are you still using gay as an insult?” but inside I was wondering “omg what if I’m gay” idk I guess I was a little mad because I have gay friends and I know that they would think it’s offensive but What if I got mad because I’m gay myself :/

I was able to make love with my husband today. Which was amazing but... now I am like do I find him attractive? Do I wanna be with someone else... I think I only got a temporary relief... when I was away from him I was like everything will be okay and I know I love him. But now that I am near him I feel like I really wanna break up 😞 that I don’t wanna cuddle with him anymore... it hurts me so much... I don’t wanna break up with him... 😞😞

I just found out about this thing called compulsory heterosexuality and it's freaking me out....does anyone relate to this

anyone else feel guilty when they dont do the amount of erps their therapist assigned them in between therapy sessions? she wants me to do 45 min erp sessions a day on my own and ive only managed to do 30 min twice in between sessions but i do multiple sets of 10 so i count them as like 3-5 erp sessions that i do before i see her but its like if i know i have to do erps that day or week i put it off until last minute because doing it before bed sucks then your sleep is even worse but doing it early in the day that can ruin the rest of the day sometimes but i do usually feel accomplished and proud of myself after mostly because my guilt goes away so that i can tell my therapist i did do my homework ... i know its dumb to feel guilty these erps are for me not for her but i feel like im going to class with half of my work completed and i guess i always hate disappointing people and i want her to like me and impress her so its a tug of war with my people pleasing and ocd and adhd and yeah just venting i have therapy monday and i havent done exercises since wednesday im hoping to do three 10 minute sessions tomorrow and then 2 monday morning before my therapy appointment but i just feel bad because i told her id keep her posted and i dont want to lie but i feel bad telling her how little ive done since wednesday also my last session is monday i feel like is it bad im not doing erps more than 2-3 days a week? should i be more dilligent by now? should i already be doing 9/10 levels in my heirarchy? im only at 7/8s still... lol i even want reassurance about if my process is correct or not... just wanted to vent hope someone can relate 🤷‍♀️

Who wants to talk

Does anyone else have severe OCD

Has anyone grown out of OCD or certain OCD themes? I’m only 17 so i’m wondering if I will grow out of this.

If I feel dishonest with myself, and I am not perfect, my life isn't worth living. And that's why I've got OCD.

"zOCD false memories" HI... I'm so sorry for bothering you... I'm not looking for reassurence, not at all. Just some sympathy? I have the strangest and ugliest feeling that I may have done sexual things to my pets but I just forgot about them. I truly don't remember ever doing anything wrong or weird to them, but that feeling doesn't vanish... Everytime I look at them, that feeling resurfaces. I continue to interact with them (exposure i guess) but this feeling doesn't get any smaller... Am I the only one? It helps me a lot to know I'm not alone... Or that this is normal in ocd. I feel that feeling similar to "whenever you leave the house, you feel like you forgot something but you go through your belongings and nothing is amiss but that feeling doesn't vanish" I guess the reason why I am so worried about it is... If something actually happened, I have to kill myself... I keep thinking about about possible scenarios and see if anything could have happened but I remember nothing...