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Im giving up! If im gay, im gay. I dont wanna be but im so over thinking about this ALL THE DAMN TIME Like imma go crazy

I got fucking backfired today about an exposure I did a few days ago. I'm afraid to be constantly listened to through my camera smartphone. So in order to prove to myself that's bullshit I feel the URGE to pop the camera up and say awful things toward myself or people I care about, but once I do it I feel so bad I'm so scared someone could hurt the people I mentioned it's awful no one not experiencing OCD could understand the triggers, the inner fight between your soul and your heart. Anyway, a few days ago I decided to say awful things and this time it was my mother who was related to my saying. At first it felt good but has anyone already made a compulsion, felt better but then did a compulsion as if this one was the one you literally CROSSED the line. It often happens to me but each time I feel like I crossed the line I know I go in hell for several days before getting away of this place. I'm gonna say awful things using my camera now (even tho again I don't record anything I just faint to make a video sayings horrible stuff. What should I do? Am I right to expose myself or is it a bad thing to me it's good because I have to face my fear and I'm not afraid to do it but the guilt is fierce man. Hope I could have some advice from people who understand this shitty ocd stuff. Thanks for having read it hop yall get better soon 🙋‍♂️.

I’m freaking out so bad I have so so so many struggles and fears around intimacy with my boyfriend that it truly feels like I don’t want to have sex with him but I do I want to so badly and I want to enjoy things with him so much. But yet I can only enjoy it when I really really focus on it so doesn’t that mean I’m forcing it??? Like if I just try to do it without thinking about everything I won’t be able to enjoy it so does that mean I’ll never be able to truly let go of that bc I don’t actually enjoy it? I don’t want to have sex with a girl not at all and I don’t want anyone else to be with my partner like that but me. So why can’t I enjoy it freely? Like if I don’t focus on it I won’t even want to. I hate myself , I feel like a monster and like there’s something wrong with me.

BIG tw in advance for really gross intrusive thoughts. i feel horrible, i keep thinking bad stuff and feeling like i’m gonna act on it. i don’t feel scared or anything anymore even though after i feel guilty as hell cause i can’t tell if it was me or just ocd. i was just watching my brother and i had this thought “ if i did something bad to him no one would know “ and i focused on it on purpose for erp reasons but then i thought about doing something inappropriate to him and i genuinely felt like i was gonna do it / i wanted to do it even more so because i knew it was bad but like this doesn’t match with my morales at all. i don’t think i can handle this any longer i can’t tell of this is an ocd urge or not anymore i feel like it isn’t and it makes me feel disgusting i want to cry

I’ve struggled with disorderly eating in the past (I.e. avoiding meals, feeling guilty about eating, becoming very thin, etc). Luckily I was able to get it under control, and I’m okay now. It’s hot, and my family are in bad moods because of the heat. I had my lunch at 12, and it’s like quarter to 6 as I write this. I’ve not snacked, and I literally had a piece of toast for my lunch, and no breakfast. I asked my family when they were going to make dinner, and my mum scowled at me and was like, ‘how are you hungry?’… I was shocked and said that I’ve literally only ate a piece of toast, and I said that was nearly 6 hours ago, and she just looks at me and goes, ‘Why does everything have to be on a timeline with you?’ I don’t ever talk about ‘times’, so she’s clearly just trying to find something to justify why she’s so angry for no reason. Anyway, I know this is irrational but I can feel some of my old thoughts and feelings sneaking in…, like, ‘maybe you shouldn’t be hungry’, ‘maybe you’ve gained weight, that’s why she’s saying that’, etc. I don’t know… can someone give me some advice?

Hi, My name is stephen and hope you don’t mind me reaching out. This is my sons account and using this to gather support for my wife and I. My son has been sectioned for trying to take his own life twice in the last 7 days which is extremely heartbreaking for is My wife and I have seen my son suffer for over 2 years with OCD of a child nature and homosexual nature and we have no idea what to do as a family going forward. We have seen mutilple therapist over the years who have indicated to us as a family he suffers from severe OCD and is not a pedophile or Gay. He mentioned to Julie and i he was coming onto this application software to obtain help but seems it’s been the ultimate cause of his mental health. He has reported back to us on daily basis that you can have Homosexual obsessions and realise you are Gay and also Child obsessions and realise you are pedophile. This is where it leaves my wife and I in a difficult situation as I have attended multiple therapy sessions with my son and documented the dialogue from councillors in private conversations saying this isn’t true. So I ask why has my son deteriorated so much from this application? And is this true? Kind regards.

I am really afraid I am going to do bad things so people will treat me more like an adult 😭 I keep getting all these intrusive thoughts about it and I don't know what to do bc they feel so real

I feel like I can’t identify intrusive thoughts…I’m just constantly trying to figure my sexuality out. Like, it’s the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing before I go to bed and I’ve been diagnosed with OCD several times but like??? Why do some people know they’re having “1-3 thoughts per hour” if I can’t even identify them?

Sometimes I wonder if God hates me, maybe because He gave me OCD, or maybe because He will never forgive my thoughs even tho I want them gone, my theme isn't scrupulosity OCD, but I do feel like a monter, one that even God can't forgive. I really want this to stop, and I am so ashamed to ask for help, I don't think I even deserve help.

Anyone else have a rlly bad experience with hentai😭🤚🏽

I feel suicidal Bc I have felt aroused by children and I can't make it go away. I'm convinced I'm a pedo and that's a death sentence for me. Ive felt arousal for same sex, animals, children, family members. I'm sick. And I feel hopeless.

Anyone wanna be friends?

would an ACTUAL lesbian say they want to like men and don't want to like girls? what if i am just lying to myself when i say i don't want to like girls? because at this point it feels like my mind says something but my body says otherwise :(

I just saw on IG on my discover page that a man come out to his wife after 17 years of marriage… Anyone get really triggered by these stories? Then I tried to search and search to see if the woman saw signs in her husband… it used to only be women coming out stories .. now it’s all coming out stories that get me stuck and ruminating 😕

Has anyone had success managing thoughts without medication. I had terrible thoughts that kept pulling me into depression and I’m wondering if there is a way to manage without medication use

tw for thought-provoking content please proceed with caution if you're struggling bad with pocd i think what makes it really hard for me to get over this is that the imagined line between pocd and being a pedo with morals in denial is thin. at least that's how i see it rn.

Hey all, I am pretty much done with my NOCD sessions and I benefited a lot from it. If anyone is thinking that they should give it it a shot you should. It saved my life for the most part and I’m not 100% there but I’m a lot better than I started 4 months ago. Things take time. Give yourself some compassion. Sending lots of love and light to you all.

Anyone out there who had HOCD start quite young , early teens and is only now dealing with it in their twenties? I am and I often wonder how much the OCD had warped my perceptions of concepts like attraction and arousal.

This is something that bothers me a lot a couple of months ago someone said on some random chat site that I look gay. And not just one person 2 people 😔

18+ ONLY TW: POSSIBLE SEXUAL ASSAULT/HARASSMENT Ok so I want to explain my situation so I can get other people’s insight onto what I should do with this. In high school, I had a free period to study and one of the guys in my grade suddenly kept sitting next to me. When he did, he would “play around” and grab my thigh or poke my boob. I laughed nervously and idk if i told him to stop or not but i definitely wanted to. A different guy from my grade who happened to be in the same class, noticed and asked if i was ok. He decided that he would try to sit there instead, so several times he just told him “hey me and ________ have some homework to do and i need her help” and so my friend would sit there instead, but the guy would try to push it saying “really? What homework?” I guess he did it to another girl i knew and she got mad at him for it, and I was finally able to stand up for myself a bit. I remember he realized he’d fucked up and as an “apology”, he handed me a stick of gum. Then not even 10 mins later in the lunch line he grabbed my shoulders. I also had a very very toxic relationship with a friend for around five years. Starting sophomore year she would grope my ass and boobs. My friend mentioned to me this year that she did the same thing the year before, but no matter how hard I look I genuinely don’t remember that happening at all. I’m saying all this honestly one to get it out there, but also bc I’m confused. Was i harassed? Assaulted? Was i just too weak to say something? Im so confused on what happened and how i should feel. My friends said it was harassment but then now when i talk to my friend about it she says it wasn’t. I’m not asking for someone to say it is or isn’t, but I really want to know wtf was that?