- Date posted
- 5y
I used to be Christian but then over time I stopped believing in God and lost my faith and now I’m scared that he’s cursing me forever for not beliveing in him☹️ and I’m trying to pray now but I think it’s too late
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I used to be Christian but then over time I stopped believing in God and lost my faith and now I’m scared that he’s cursing me forever for not beliveing in him☹️ and I’m trying to pray now but I think it’s too late
Right now I actually believe I am into girls. I have this weird feeling towards the cool girls in my class and I can’t even say a word to them without panicking. But I can talk to the guys without anxiety. So I must be lesbian, I have just never tried or experienced it with a girl before but I think I actually don’t have ocd. Whenever a guy has slept over at my house I have never wanted to do anything sexual with him. And I only have platonic feelings towards guys and crushes. I am really a lesbian. Life sucks. I want to die
I’m having serious real event OCD over a situation I put myself in last weekend where I played with fire. I am happily engaged to the love of my life, but I flirted, said really inappropriate things to this guy I was speaking to, he tried to kiss me and I backed away. I liked the attention and I feel awful, I have ‘confessed’ to my partner and he’s so supportive, but I feel like I need to confess more details that I didn’t explain the first time. I don’t know what to do. Please can someone reply, I have 15 years experience with OCD but this episode is really hard because it’s a ‘real’ event.
Hello there! My name is Jen and I was diagnosed with OCD about 5 years ago, but I do believe that I've had it for much longer than that. I go through phases where sometimes it hits so much harder than other times. When I have P.M.S,. Is when I'll have a bad phase of it. But, it has certainly gotten better with taking Zoloft, since the 5 years, I was diagnosed. So I'm writing today, because I was in a situation about a year ago (last October), that really did made my O.C.D just completely trigger and a little bit to this day, even. Even though it's a situation that I have moved on from. (It's hard explaining to someone without O.C.D that you can be over something painful from the past, but still at times feel I guess, triggered, in a way) What happened to me last year, was I was in a casual, yet very toxic situationship, with a man that I happened to have feelings even though it really wasn't good. But long story short, he "confessed" his love for me, and said he wanted to be in a relationship with me. A few days later, I'm blocked and he's with another woman. How my O.C.D had been triggered by that, at that time, was, I had to delete all social media and even download apps that made it impossible for me to redownload it, because the urge to look at her or his social media was so prominent, yet something that hurt so badly. How it's been now, is that I have social media again. And ive moved on talking to other people and going out and having fun. But, he's deleted his account and she hasn't posted in a long time, so there really isn't much to see. I still find myself unblocking, just to glance at her feed, than re-blocking. The thing that's hard to explain is that even though I'm over this person and not thinking about it as much anymore. I still deal with this urge to look, even though I don't want to, and I want to move on completely, completely. Where I can block her and just leave it. But, it's also going beyond just her or him. It's more of an O.C.D tick that, I either am checking so that I know that nothing is being posted, that would make me uncomfortable, and I feel some kind of satisfaction from that. Or it's simply just a tick. And the question now is, what if she does post something like a pregnancy or engagement, and what would that do to my O.C.D. Thank you so much for anyone who reads this, and I'm just wondering if anyone has gone through something similar with social media and O.C.D or feeling like your O.C.D is keeping you from moving on from the past, completely. and how you balanced enjoying social media, after a similar situation. And just advice in general or what has worked for you.
i need some advice. my therapist is dismissing my intrusive thoughts. my compulsions. i constantly try to make phone appointments/home visits with her, and she either just doesn’t call, doesn’t answer when i call, or tells me she can’t make it to our appointment. it’s been almost 6 weeks. i’ve been talking to her since i was 13, and she’s the first therapist i’ve actually clicked with. now suddenly i feel alone, and dismissed. i need someone i can rely on. i am not in a good place. everything is taking over. the thought of finding a new therapist is driving me insane.
I'm having a horrible day. I'm scared my existential OCD is actually schizophrenia bc my brain tells me that I'm like for sure in a different reality or dream or something. Idk what to do anymore. I feel like I'm too complex to get better at this point.
anyone able to talk?? i feel so anxious yet i don't want to engage in compulsions nor ruminate
Anyone willing to read my poetry just one person I to listen
What lessens intrusive thoughts in the day any tips
Hey guys I need advice. I was okay last night feeling super anxiety free and in love (I think) and then this morning I got a thought “break up” and it feels so real. Almost like not ocd and like I want it and it’s making me so sad and sick to my stomach. Has anyone been in this situation? How did you handle it? I really don’t want to break up
Hey everyone, I really need your opinion on what to do in this situation. So my ex and I broke up in January. It was a highly dependent relationship but I believe that I was super in love with him. He ended up getting another girlfriend pretty soon after (ouch) but they broke up like last week. He blocked me initially on facebook, unblocked me, tried to add me. Since they broke up, hes texted me a few times, and now he has added me on snapchat...through search lol. I kind of want to accept the request and tell him to please leave me alone, and ask what he wants. But I'm not sure if I should. Next thing I know he'll probably send me $5 on venmo for my favorite starbucks drink 🤣🤷♀️
Idk why but I’m feeling terrible rn for remembering a thought in my head when I was watching stranger things and I’m not sure if this was around my ocd was slowly starting to come up but the thought felt intentional but I didn’t mean the thought like that and when I had the thought but I was kinda confused but then it felt like I had to like go with the thought ? Or making it seem like it wasn’t weird or anything like a compliment bc I wasn’t even aroused or attracted or nothing and I feel like if I told a therapist abt I feel like they’ll call me a pedo :( I feel so weird tho bc I can’t figure out if I was weird abt it
People on NOCD 😌😌😌 That’s it That’s the post
I feel so dysphoric today. I feel like all my maladaptive daydreaming and other struggles in my past were all due to me being trans and living a lie. I thought I loved being a girl but now I hate it so much, I'm so uncomfortable with it and can't understand how anyone isn't
I just woke up and I feel completely gay, my anxiety feels like its high, I cant tell. I dont think I like women anymore bc how much I have convinced myself from the "proof" from my past. I could have deluded myself into believing that, either that or Im just gay. I cant tell fully tell, I just feels like I like the same sex members now. Im scared guys, I dont want to deal with another attack, Im already so exhausted and mentally drained. What should I do please help, any tips just please make this stop, Im losing my mind
Guys I don’t think I can do this . It seems like I’m really just becoming a boy now . It won . I feel defeated it feels like nothings working and I can’t feel happy being a woman anymore . It’s taking everything from me . If I become a boy I won’t like it but maybe then it would just stop … I’m tired of fighting. I feel like I’m getting nowhere and I can’t take living like this anymore …
It's getting bad again. So I've been trying my hardest to not get reassurance from my Mom because that's what I always do when it's really dark. But this time I actually do say my thoughts and I have them with feelings. Then afterwards (maybe not right away could be the next day or something) the guilt hits. And in my religion it says we're accountable for our actions and words. I didn't even get to tell my Mom the content of these thoughts because she immediately stormed at me. She says I was doing great now I lost control and that it's partly my fault becaus I should learn how to control my thoughts. Now i think she'll hate me so much if she knows the content because it's related to her and also other stuff I said. Even worse that I didn't see anyone experiencing this. They also have sexual/riligious thoughts and I said them with feeling so I feel so horrible. I might be back into a new cycle of misery.
I can’t do this anymore. This is too traumatizing to go through. I feel extremely depressed and don’t know what to do
Hi. I have pocd and I have extreme anxiety that I could be sexually attracted by children. It started several months ago when I saw a child girl and had a bad thought since that time every time I see a child I feel anxious. I never had pedophilic thoughts before except two times when I also had anxiety about if I had been attracted to a child but it quickly went away. Before having pocd I had faith ocd about God's existence (am Christian) and I also have ocd about dirt so I spend 2 hours each day cleaning my butt after pooping until it bleeds. I have also a ridiculous ritual of washing my hands while counting. But none of these thoughts caused me as much anxiety as pocd does. Id hate to be an actual pedophile more than anything and if I listen to my ocd id feel less guilty killing someone or raping a grown woman than being a non offending pedophile which would be awful for me. I regard pedophilia as the most disgusting thing on earth. Moreover I have a strange symptom which is that I feel like my work is dirty (currently writing a thesis) if I had a bad thought while writing. So I hate the work im supposed to enjoy doing caus of this ocd. I always feel guilty, dirty and anxious and as soon as I see a child (on real or on photo and even on painting!) I cant help but checking any sign of sexual attraction. I quitted porn a year ago and now am falling back into it caus of checking processes I do. I start looking a pictures of children on google to check arousal and then I watch normal porn to check that im actually more aroused by that. Ive always liked girls of my age and still do and never was into girls with child like features but rather big boobs and stuffs. Id give almost everything I have to have certainty that im not a pedophile and that i wont ever become one. Hope my story will help pple in same situation to see that they are not alone. Please answer me if you have things to tell me in order to make me see that im not a pedo. Caus when thinking rationally Ik am not but as soon as I see a child I start doubting and the circle starts again.
I need so much help. I’m really spiralling and feeling so anxious and scared. I’m not sure how to sum this all up briefly but basically, my partner and I split up 2 months ago and are in the process of maintaining a friendship. It’s obviously been really difficult but important to both of us. I’ve always had extreme fears about lots of different themes, but the biggest one was always him cheating on me. I would absolutely interrogate him over the tiniest things and analyze EVERYTHING he did or said. I would have intrusive thoughts all the time and it was a constant mess of me asking for reassurance and never being sure whether something was intuition or anxiety. I know he’s done some questionable things over the 4 years of our relationship but has never actually cheated on me (as far as I know- and trust me when I say I’ve asked him a LOT). He has always maintained that he’s been honest with everything, even if it was shitty or it took awhile to get to the truth. Anyway, last week, I found out he did lie about something (while we were broken up, not together). I had a strong, sick anxious feeling and I asked him about it and then a week later, realized he told a huge lie. I’m not even upset about the thing he did- just so upset that he lied to my face about it. When I confronted him, he said he was sorry and he only lied because he was scared of making me upset. But NOW, I’m spiralling out of control because the thing he lied about was literally something that sounded so crazy to me when the thought first popped into my head. I had tried to brush it off as anxious thought because it was so strange to me. I could have never guessed it so now finding out that I was right is making me think I have crazy strong intuition. It’s making me reanalyze and obsess over every single anxious “gut feeling” or thought from our four year relationship. I’m driving myself absolutely crazy. My biggest fear is that what if all my anxious/intrusive thoughts were true and he DID cheat on me at some point and just lied the entire time. Maybe I don’t even have ROCD- just a messed up relationship. I’m freaking out and this is all I’ve thought about for days. I can’t be friends with him if he lied to me for four years, but again I’ve asked him the same question so many times- I just don’t trust the answers. Please help
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