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the NOCD Community

Hi everyone! I’m new to this and also new to OCD and my fear. A few months ago I was triggered and developed an intense fear around developing schizophrenia. It got so bad but I didn’t know it was ocd until only a few days ago and I started seeing a therapist that I found on this app. She wanted me to start doing the exposures and I was like “oh I can do this, piece of cake!” Yeah NOT!! So one of my exposures was to google about it (which is what initially caused me to be triggered and spiral in the first place a few months ago) and now I’m so worked up and questioning that how can this be healthy for me to constantly expose myself to my fear? Like it’s terrifying!! Does anyone else have this fear? I feel so alone with it and don’t know how to talk about it without being labeled “crazy” which of course is my biggest fear 😭 I’m not necessarily looking for reassurance (at least I don’t think I am) but more support on how do I get through these exposures when I think they are hurting me more than helping me.

I need some advice. How do I tell my boy best friend that I don’t want to go out with him at lunch. He is CONSTANTLY nagging me to go out with him at lunch, and since he has told me how much he likes me, I’m just very uncomfortable around him because I have rocd and can’t date him. I am also very uncomfortable because of how flirty he was being toward me, and I just don’t do good with flirting. I just don’t want to go out for lunch with him, but I’m worried he’ll get upset because he can get a bit sensitive. He knows about my ocd, he just doesn’t get it. Being around him lately has caused me a lot of anxiety, and discomfort, and I don’t know why. I just don’t want him to think that I don’t want to be his friend, because I do. I just need time to process this whole thing, and I think I might need to do that away from him. It doesn’t mean I want to end our friendship, I just think I need to gather my thoughts and figure out how to go about our friendship. Any advice as to how to go about this, I will take anything I can get. Thank you very much guys!

How can I overcome porn addiction? I have soocd and I'm addicted to lesbian porn

Meditation has decreased my OCD by upto 70-80% in just 10 days. I suffer from Harm OCD. I have had depressive episodes of OCD where I couldn't even have the energy to walk. Been meditating since 10 days and the result have been more profound then I ever anticipated. My rumination has decreased by 90%. When I used to get intrusive thoughts, I would get totally consumed by them but now it feels like I am floating above them. The anxiety is still there but this time it feels more like I can observe it from above and eventually it dissipates. I have also been happier than I was even before I got diagnosed with OCD. But please, if you want to meditate don't start meditating with the intent of getting rid of OCD because with that thinking you won't. Meditation should be done for the meditation itself. Just like when you listen to music, the music itself is the point and not the end or the beginning. You need to have more meaning to it. For me, meditation was more about leading a spiritual life and on the path of experiencing enlightenment. If you are meditating to remain healthy, I am sorry, that's not how it works. Meditation is not a pill you take to get healthy and become happier, they are the by product of it. Like I said, don't meditate with the intent of getting anything out of it. This is why, spirituality gives more meaning to the meditation. I can suggest you some sources to get started if you're interested. But please do take care of the above. This may not 100% gurantee you will be able to decrease your OCD but I believe that it will and only if you understand the above and commit to doing it. Ah... It's a relief indeed! Meditation has transformed my mind. Don't mean to exaggerate but I know, I can feel how much of an impact it made. Being able to concentrate on task without having to ruminate on these thoughts has been the greatest feeling of relief. “To remain stable is to refrain from trying to separate yourself from a pain because you know that you cannot. Running away from fear is fear, fighting pain is pain, trying to be brave is being scared. If the mind is in pain, the mind is pain. The thinker has no other form than his thought. There is no escape.” - Alan Watts

MOTIVATION/QUESTION: There is sooo much reassurance seeking and really triggering stuff that gets posted here, and I was hoping to remind myself and us that we ALL know seeking reassurance does NOT help long term. Does anyone agree with me about this? We’re all in this together and we can get through it but I’m trying as hard as i can not to seek reassurance. I hardly go on the community board here anymore because it seems like everyone posting is asking for it in one way or another. “Am I this? Am I going to do that?” Today I’m going to resist the urge to seek reassurance. Who’s with me?

Can ocd fake clarity moments? I woke up this morning and i felt like myself and I looked at him and felt nothing and it was like I came to terms that I don’t love him. It felt like clarity and natural. But then I began to get really nervous and crying saying that can’t be true but I feel like it is. Because im back to being calm and that’s lingering

Hey guys, any feedback on meds would be helpful. I’m currently 9 months pregnant, have been taking Zoloft 200mg for 4 weeks. I know you have to take it for at least 6 weeks or it’s considered a failed trial. Still struggling a bit and want to go up after 6 weeks or switch to a different med. What meds have you guys had luck with? I did Prozac 40mg pre-pregnancy but it didn’t work during pregnancy and they couldn’t safely increase it. Baby should be here in 4 weeks so I can try other things after that as well.

Somebody please reply to me. I need to talk to someone right now. I saw a small kid and I thought that kid was handsome. Then I suddenly had a thought like that kid is totally my type. Why did I think like that. Am I a pedophile now? What should I do?

So I’m incredibly anxious as I’m going back home today after being with my partner for a week. I think for me going home is always a trigger because that’s where I had my panic attack that began this all. I’m often alone with a lot of free time at home, which can mean my brain goes into rumination & intrusive thought city and I can feel pretty out of control. If anyone has any tips or suggestions for how they manage their ROCD, when they know their about to enter an environment that is highly triggering I’d be massively grateful. I’ve already completed my morning meditation, I spoke to my Doctor yesterday about everything for the first time I’m really proud of myself for being afraid but taking steps to get the help I need. But I am feeling really anxious & fearful, as I’ve been doing pretty okay whilst I’ve been here.

I give up on this app. Trying to share my OCD tendencies and it's flagged and removed. I thought this app was friendly so unfortunately this isn't for me and is just making me feel less heard. Take care all. Wish you well 💜

Everyone always says butterflies in stomach and like stomach churning means you’re attracted to someone, and that triggers me so much cause that’s my reaction to girls specifically this one masc lesbian in my class And idk i think i’ve gotten that feeling with boys before i can’t remember—it was just i was attracted to them and never over analyzed it. Like with my ex, i never felt butterflies but it just felt right being with him. He felt like home. Like when he would hug me, there was no anxiety. I’m never sure about anything, and he was the one thing I was sure of. Like i’m just so lost what is attraction suppose to feel like

feeling anxious, mentally exhausted. i just want to not think about anything. recently found out i have moral scrupulosity ocd and its overwhelming to me. looking forward to starting ERP and an ssri in the coming weeks. im okay. i guess this feeling will pass.

OCD and fear is robbing me of the most happy moments of my life. My husband and I just bought our first house, an event that should be one of the happiest of our lives. However, I am miserable. All I can think about is that one of the walls of my daughters bedroom is shared with the kitchen and the refrigerator. Since my obsession right now is radiation, my mind is convinced that I’m harming her by exposing her to the radiation coming from that wall into her room. I would sell this house if I could even if my husband divorced me. That’s how bad my anxiety is and my need to bring my child to safety. Everyone just tells me how crazy I am and how nobody would even consider my concern a real one. But this is driving me insane. I’m starting to believe that I’m just addicted to this anxiety feeling because there is always something that I worry/obsess about no matter what. Im just exhausted.

Oh god can someone talk???????

Tell me why I noticed my Friends hands 😭💀💀💀and today I had a good laugh with him and I was wondering if that meant I liked him bc I have good conversations and laughs b stuff but I don’t want to like him and it’s weird to me like I’m scared abt the future bc what if I actually start ti like him 💀 and I just like ugh I feel so weird bc I really do see him as a good friend like I value friendship very much but then I can’t tell if it’s romantic feelings which I’m scared of abd don’t want to be with him like that abd ever since that confession my mind has literally been thinkng abt like foward stuff if we go like be a thing which I don’t want but idk this shit feels real idek if I can say that bc it feels automatic idk if this applies to false attraction 😭💀 fml I hate ocd

hello! I’m a new user and just joined after doing lots of research about OCD and it really made sense to the feelings I experience… but at the same time since I’m undiagnosed I feel like I don’t belong here. my obsessions are very different from everyone else’s and I feel like an outsider. I want to talk to a specialist but feel like I’m not allowed to because I don’t know if I have it. does anyone else feel/have felt this way?

Anyone else find ERP incredibly difficult? My OCD does not want any part of it. I feel helpless because I keep giving into compulsions and a small part of me knows that the only way out is to stop compulsions. My OCD says otherwise, however. It has even gone so far to convince me that I actually cannot ever accept uncertainty and I find it so hard to not believe it. I know I will only ever find out if I stop compulsions but it is so damn hard and now OCD is getting in the way of my school work. One week I'm highly motivated and ready to fight, then the next week I'm so low and cannot stop ruminating. Then when I want to try again I know I'll just give in again. Much love for anyone suffering from this nonsense.

Trigger warnings/ mentions of suicide and self harm. My internet friend who self harms and is suicidal today told me she cried for 30 minutes. She then told me that she have too much on her mind including suicide. I'm also so scared and worried and I don't know what to do...😭

Guys I don’t know what to do. It feels so genuine almost that I don’t want to be with him. I feel like this is anticipatory anxiety. And then I had a thought that he’s going to break up with me and I felt really anxious. Idk

Feeling very triggered and am not sure where to turn… Some of you have probably read my posts about me struggling with the breakup of my ex, over 3 months ago. I’ve been inundated with anxious intrusive thoughts since then, picking apart EVERY aspect of our relationship and being reminded of every single thing that make me anxious. It’s felt like torture. My biggest fear/OCD trigger was always around him cheating on me or betraying me. And he wasn’t perfect by any means but I don’t think he ever actually cheated on me. I just cannot stop thinking and obsessive about it, even long after the relationship has ended. I thought I was slowly getting better but unfortunately, anxiety got the better of me again this morning. I snooped the Instagram of some girl that I knew he’d chatted with in the past (an old friend and he always maintained the conversation was just friendly and nothing that crossed the line). I was never too worried about it, especially because she was married and in another city. But anyway, I crept her Instagram and found out that he had commented “cute!” on one of her selfie photos back in Feb 2020. Obviously this was a really long time ago but I’m absolutely spiralling about it. This was at the same time he was telling me he wanted to have kids with me and I thought we were in a great place. I feel so betrayed by just one silly comment. I’m terrified now of what else was going on. I truly cannot tell if I’m getting worked up over something innocent or if this is a real threat. I mean, I know it’s not real now but…it feels like it’s happening right now because I’m just discovering it. Please help. I want to call him so badly and confront him, but we just got to a good place after the breakup and I don’t want to rock the boat. I did a deep-dive into her Facebook and Instagram. He liked her photos for a period of time, liked a couple profile pictures but that’s it. There’s been no public activity since last year. Sorry this post is long. Thank you for reading. I really don’t have anyone else to talk to about this stuff and I know it might be trivial or it might be serious but I can’t tell