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i just feel so worthless and i have no motivation to do anything i’ve lost all hope in recovery and i’m so scared it will never go away and get better. i feel like i’m cursed and i’m being punished with this torture disorder and idk what i did to deserve this. i’m so stressed and so annoyed. i feel so lost and helpless

I feel so far from God.. I don’t know how to get back OCD ruined everything

Anyone wanna help me with a little fact-checking? I had a horrible appointment with my family doctor today. She basically told me that my anxiety around my relationship and sex was not OCD, but a cry for help because I’m not in the right relationship. She said these things to me AFTER telling me she doesn’t know much about OCD and AFTER I told her I loved my fiancé and did not want to leave him. She pressured me to leave him to “find myself.” Honestly, she sounded like OCD personified. She also said that OCD is not an external force working against me, but a manifestation of thoughts and feelings I already have. Basically she said OCD is a way for me to express what I’m scared of feeling and that it’s a way to help me realize what I really feel. She said OCD doesn’t work against me from an external perspective, that it doesn’t “happen” to me and affect the way I feel and respond, but that it just brings those things to light. She said all that to say that my anxiety about my relationship with my fiancé and anxiety around my sexual orientation isn’t OCD, just anxiety because I’m in the wrong relationship and need to leave him. Any thoughts? The conversation truly sent me spiraling, and I will not be going back to her.

I need an interpretation. My ex left me for a week. Than after less than a week, he came back saying that he is soo sorry and he want me back. He made me felt really wanted again. A week passed and I saw him distancing himself; I asked and he said that he really want me and he didn't came back to leave me again. Today; after like 2 weeks, he said that he doesn't see a future with me, so he will never became my boyfriend again. BUT than, he said that he enjoy going out with me; and he want to keep date and hook up Me. I asked if it was because mabe he stopped liking me, or being attracted and he said no, that he likes me, even in that way. I asked him if it is because he doesn't want to now my problems because he didn't care, or because he had loose hope, nd he said that no, he will be there to listen to it, and also that he is sure that I will resolve them. He said that he still enjoys when he see me. He simply doesn't want to be my boyfriend. And he even wanted me to go out with him tonight. That make 0 sense for me. He want a future without me, staying with me without being committed to me! WTFFFF

Anyone willing to discuss religious OCD and doubting the existence of God?

How do you decide with whom/when/how much you share about your OCD? I haven't shared with one of my friends, as she has had less-than-supportive responses when I've shared other medical/mental health things with her. She recently made some comments about OCD (you know the ones - "I love to plan and organize. I'm so OCD."). When reading her texts I was seething, as those sorts of comments are so diminishing and hurtful. I know that she doesn't mean harm by these things, so part of me wants to tell her how I've been battling OCD (the real kind, not the kind that likes to color coordinate socks) for the past year. I want to explain why "I'm so OCD" makes me so freaking angry. But if I do this, I take the risk of her not supporting me in the way I would expect. I take the risk of her thinking "What's the big deal. We're all a little OCD." Is it worth it, or do I just go on and try to ignore those comments? What experiences (positive and negative) have you all had when sharing about your OCD with others?

Last night I was comparing intimate scenarios in my head and it keeps feeling like I truly wanted to and additionally I had thoughts like because my own body parts are soft (chest) objectively so would another woman’s which felt like it would be good but I don’t want that at all and it felt like I would be curious about what it’d be like to touch another woman’s chest but again I don’t want to. And when I imagined a scenario with a friend it felt the same as when I compulsively try to imagine scenarios with my boyfriend because of how badly I want to be able to enjoy those things with him. So just numb really and sad, except I want to do those things with my partner but not another girl. I think this is truly denial, no one else has thoughts about it actually being nice and actually enjoyable / curious even though it used to make me so uncomfortable. I ache to be near my partner, not another woman even if I am bi whatever that’s fine but I just want to feel something for my partner again in that aspect without questioning everything

How to deal with false memories when it comes to something so bad and disgusting? It is all so strange because I remember the situation but I have the feeling that I am missing something

Hey guys, I'm really scared, someone PLEASE reply (POCD 18+) Okay, so tonight I was beginning to feel better about my obsessions and began to feel like maybe I was actually making progress. But I feel terrified rn, I'm scared because I used to watch hentai and cartoon stuff when I was younger, I'm 19, I would look up certain anime stuff or cartoons, but I started feeling happy that I probably stopped when I was 15. But now I'm terrified, I used to watch the tv show Big Mouth on Netflix but stopped after I started feeling uncomfortable with the show since it is really graphic. But I'm scared that I may have watched porn about the show while I was watching it. I don't really have strong memories about it but I'm terrified because that would have been when I was 16. I'm so scared, my friend said that "worst-case scenario, say you did, it's just a drawing at the end of the day" but I'm really scared. I'm really grossed out, I don't know what to do, I was just starting to maybe feel better but I don't even know anymore, I'm terrified, what do you guys think???

When i think so much and then say all this thinking means something cause it feels so real do i even try to fight with it saying no?!? Its not or cross questioning sometimes i just don’t i like am okay with it kinda accept it and if i do that what does that mean cause if I don’t believe in it why would I accept it and not fight it and have a problem. They feel too real to fight sometimes its like lying to oneself but if i say or feel that does that mean I believe in what i am denying?!? What does that mean then?!? My brain is so foggy and constantly confused idk what to think and what not…

I’ve been crying so much lately and I don’t know why. I didn’t have many symptoms these past few weeks and although I encountered some triggers over the weekend, and I am having thoughts that I don’t like, it feels like the crying and anxiety (it’s also not as crippling as it usually is when I have a flare up) is related to the fear of my ocd getting bad again. And every time I have an intrusive thought, I immediately check how I’m responding to the thought. I try to figure out whether or not it’s a lapse. Then I start thinking about how terrible I felt when I was going through an intense ocd episode and it just brings me to tears thinking about how much pain I was in. I did an ERP exercise with my therapist today and I didn’t feel as much anxiety as I expected to and I don’t know if it’s because my ocd has switched themes or what is going on in my head right now. I feel very confused. Sorry this is so long…

So when a thought comes up is the goal to ignore it and go on with your life? I'm new to this kind of therapy.

Relationship OCD is taking over my life and ruining my relationship. Has anyone been through something similar? Looking for advice/support as I am really struggling right now. After months of constant doubts regarding my partner of 4 years and our relationship, I decided to leave him and take a break for right now. I am so sad because I love him so much and we have a great relationship overall. However, my nonstop thoughts about whether we are sexually compatible were getting to be too much. I believe my perceived “need” for sex may also be partially OCD related. I do have a very high sex drive and feel as though I need to have sex every day or ideally at least 4-5x per week in order to feel good and improve my mood. I mean, I know sex makes everyone feel good. But I feel like I can’t be truly happy unless I am in a relationship where I have sex very frequently. I keep track of how many times per week/month I have sex and get upset when I see it hasn’t been a lot. I am unable to distinguish whether I just have a very high sex drive or whether this is anxiety/ocd driven, but I think it’s both. I get very anxious as the day goes on and my partner still has not initiated sex. I become frustrated with him and resentful. He can sense my anxiety and frustration which turns him off even more, which makes sex even less frequent and thus makes me feel even worse. It really is a vicious cycle. This is the reason I decided to leave. I feel as though he is just not sexual enough for me. Other than the sex issue, our relationship is good. I am paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong choice either way. I’m terrified of losing the man I love over something that may just be an aspect of my OCD. But I am also terrified of staying in a relationship where I am never sexually satisfied. I am unable to distinguish what is real and what is just my OCD. It feels horrible to live like this.

Hey I'm really sad.. it's not even ocd i just feel really depressed... 8 month ago doctors told me that I have a chronic pain; and there's no cure for now. It can get better but it will never end. It is a pain that only women have, a problem of nerves, that make sex semi-impossible for me because it is REALLY PAINFUL. it is a thing that less that 10% of woman have. But why me?? I always wanted a life full of intimacy, and I can't have it. I hate and I can't take the fact that there are people who can do it really easily, I really envy them and I feel like I'm not worth of living anymore

I need some help. Yesterday, I was getting ready for my shower, and my friend facetimed me. I only showed my face because I wasn’t dressed right obviously. At the moment I saw nothing wrong with this because I obviously just was going to show my face. Now though I am freaking out because I feel like I did something by dirty because she is 3 years younger than me. I had no intentions of anything weird AT ALL. I am just so worried like what if I accidentally showed something. I just saw she was face timing so I picked up and of course only showed my face. I have a something really scary that is coming up and I am absolutely petrified that God is going to punish me during then because of this. I had NO bad intentions and I obviously only showed my face. I don’t know what to do. Is this POCD or am I a disgusting monster?

I really don't have best friends ocd ruins every friendship and I really feel alone and depressed

Today my partner is being very distant, and i'm really scared that he want to leave me, or that he doesn't love me anymore, maby he found someone else. He told me that he studied (i didn't ask nothing) and now he is going to work. He bearly text me back, and never call. I already been in this situation and i always kept asking for reassurances. But at the end people always broke up with me; in the exact moment and I start to think that it is just me convincing myself. I always take that as a confirmation of my doubts. So now a part of me is screaming for help. Is this intuition or is just ocd? (In other words, things tomorrow can be better If I dump my thoughts or nothing will change so it is better to run away by myself today?) Anyway I'm really proud of myself; because although everything, I didn't ask confirmations or reassurances to him! I also kept my doubts for myself (and this app) BUT I DID NOT TELL NOTHING to my boyfriend. It is the fist day that I am able to do it!

I just need to vent. So I have recently have been thinking about going back to school to get a Master's in Counseling with the end goal of becoming an OCD therapist. Becoming a therapist is something I've been thinking about for a few years now. The past few days the intrusive thoughts have been super intense. Things like "You are too old to think about going back to school. You missed your chance? Why would you even think of becoming a therapist when you are so screwed up yourself? How do you intend to pay your rent, keep food on the table, work full time, and go to school? You aren't smart enough to get a Master's and you will just end up flunking out. You know your parents won't support you in this. I had a rough night last night because I ruminated about this for about 4 hours last night. There's a part of me that wants want to try, but there's a part of me that thinks "Why bother?" I haven't made a decision one way or the other. I have really good benefits at my current job including 401k. But my current job is not something I am passionate about and is not a good fit for my personality. But its a big decision.

I left my civil services preparation (most prestigious exam of country) and will be joining a private sector job. My confidence crashed rock bottom as my OCD got triggered. Because of one guy I decided to leave preparation. But still sometimes I feel if I leave this preparation I'm going to regret my entire life. Please help me what should I do to gain back my confidence and prepare along with job? I need some advice as my doctors aren't kind to me.. they are very rude and they disconnected my call asking for money before therapy without giving me details of payment link. NOCD services aren't available in India I called them for help. Please help someone. Admins of NOCD if you all are seeing this please provide some help. I'm from India. It is not possible to pay in dollars nor can I afford much. I can pay once I start earning and I will join soon. Please help. Please. I want to build a strong career but I have a lot of confusion in my mind..my confidence is at rock bottom. I have hirsutism too and eye issues. But my OCD is making me sink. With ocd I also have depression also. I have suicidal thoughts too. I feel I'm useless and not worthy of life. That I'm wasting my parents hard earned money. Because of one guy i started repeating one thing again and again(saying one thing again and again) and I can't organize my thought well..which test series I Need to join etc..I'm in confused state of mind which never happened to me before. When I read something I find difficult to read..I understand it in 3-4 times of reading despite reading the same thing several times last year. My concentration power has declined. My emotional well being is affected. Please help me out. I need someone to listen to me and help me out. A doctor who won't judge me because ocd makes us do wrong things(sexual etc) which I personally feel I'd against my values and my family's values. At the age when I have to develop a career I'm sinking with ocd. I don't have much years to establish my career so I need help as soon as possible. Please NOCD please help me I'm from India.. I've reached out to many people and no one helped me out. Around 4-5 psychiatrists. All I got was Anti depressants and I kept sleeping and my concentration too declined. Please help. Please. I don't have any hope left. I know it's just another effort in vain. I don't want to die. I but I can't live either with a life of no dignity and confidence. Please help me. Please. Please.

Happy Tuesday y'all!❤ filling your feed with a gorgeous church that I like to sit at sometimes :) I hope everyone's been well! How are y'all? Talk to me 😊