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whats up guys what are some tips dealing with ocd and what to do when a thought makes u anxious ??

I’m having a big OCD relapse and would like to hear anyone’s tips on how to be present and healthily deal with these intrusive thoughts and the “need” to preform compulsions. Thank you!!

For some stupid reason my ocd latched onto sexism, misogyny, feminism and gender roles/stereotypes. Im generally very scared of any kind of sex/gender inequality, Im not sure why that is but it may be connected to my porn addiction that I developed at very young age, I've been obsessed with gender stereotypes back then, and also Im agender afab so it may also be connected. The point is, every single time I talk to another girl I get so self aware and Im scared that the way I talk, what I say or even how do I feel about them is only caused by their sex/gender, Im scared that everything is connected to gender and sex, so for example, if I want to make an analysis for character that has nothing to do with gender, feminism and misogyny I still have to analyze how did their gender affect them(when it's not important, and we dont know anything about it) just because they have a mental disorder. I read that there isnt much reasearch made on sex/gender in mental health issues, so now I convinced myself that every mental disorder has to be connected strictly to gender and I have to analyse gender and sex experiences in order to be right. It's so stupid, and when I dont want to think about it or dont do it, I feel like Im wrong and just trying to hide from it. I have this sick need for someone to allow me to let go and keep on living how I did before, I need an allowance from completly random people on the internet that are feminists so I can feel like Im not in the wrong, Im not a failure and I dont have to be ashamed or scared. Even while writing this I thought to myself "does using people that are feminists instead of women is misogynistic?" Im so tired of it, Im not sure anymore if that's just enlight and I encourted the truths of this world or Im just overthinking everything because Im scared and want to be in control of everything

Don't panic, you're still the same girl, your OC gives you a lot of intrusive thoughts that aren't you and that disgust you and scare you and that you don't want and that you don't think are true, and your OC gives you the false feelings.Also, don't forget that whatever comes to mind, whatever intrusive thoughts you have and whatever you feel, is all yours.

I’m deeply afraid I may have acted on an intrusive thought during self pleasure:/ in the moment it feels like I want it or focus on it but then immediately after i panicked:/ this only happens In context of intrusive thoughts I never plan on acting on these I’ve never experienced this problem before idk i feel like maybe my values n moarls changed in a sec is that possible?? I keep asking myself is this who i really am …. I can’t take it anymore guys I wish i could go back to my normal self I’m tired of feeling like this everyday no one would want a real pedo and that’s me guys u feel sick I haven’t eaten or drank anything

I realize that if you try to hold in these intrusive thoughts and feelings then it will get worse, but right now I’m not as bothered by them like I did yesterday

I will never get my old life back and my old brain back. This OCD has gotten so bad that it feels like there will never be a way out. And when I do feel better, the OCD tells me that I have accepted it. The thought that only makes it worse

My OCD has never been this strong, it's so real, it feels like it will never go away, it's never been this strong for me and it's very scary.

I can't take it anymore, my OCD is too strong, it's simply taking away my whole life's strength and my will to live, I just can't take it anymore, it's too strong, I can't live anymore

As ive said before, my ocd was so strong and life consuming that my therapist thought i would need to go to a facility so that I could be better taken care of. I thought i wouldn't survive the year and started to come to terms that I might have to do the unimaginable to ensure that I could never hurt anyone or say anything wrong. Ive now been a conquerer for over 6 months and its been a year since I developed this severity of OCD. I worked so hard with my incredible therapist to conquer my OCD and to embrace the uncertainty that it preyed on. Id like to make it clear that I still get intrusive thoughts from time to time, but they mean nothing and they do not affect me day-to-day. Sometimes theyre even laughable despite them being day-ruining in the past. Do i slip up and compulse here and there ? yes of course! im human and i make mistakes, but Im equipped to respond to the thoughts and setbacks which allows me to continue moving forward instead of letting it set me back. Today, I have so many things to look forward to. Im applying for schools, Ive taken internships, I have a close relationship with my friends and family (despite the fear of harming them being what my ocd preyed on, and what originally made me push them away), and I can genuinely say Ive gone weeks and months without compulsing and giving into a thought. Ive also learned to use my social media to raise awareness about OCD and have learned that it's way more common than I thought (one of my good friends had been suffering for years in silence). Using social media, ive also been able to lead those who may have it to NOCD (such as my friend and a few others). I promise you, this is the perfect place to learn how to overcome it (whether it be Harm OCD, Symmetry OCD, Germ OCD- whatever). There is so much to look forward to. OCD doesnt define you and it doesnt have to ruin your life. AND YOURE NOT ALONE!!!! (a song i listened to on repeat to help give me the courage to keep working and doing exposures was Tiny Dictator by Sophie May. Even if you dont relate to her themes, it makes you feel less alone knowing someone was brave enough to sing about their OCD and put it on spotify) Good luck to all of you, youre doing amazing and remember to be kind to yourselves and each other <3

I know a few of you saw my posts about my ERP and the googling urges. That didn’t end up going well. My therapist actually decided we needed to halt it for now. The thing is it’s almost like I learned googling is harmless from those few exercises and my brain keeps generating more things to google. Normally I would just spiral and be done but now I can barely hold back from searching for long. I eventually give in. I’m horrified because it feels like I want to find illegal content. I swear on everything I am, I don’t want to find anything even close to it. I’m freaking out because I don’t understand what’s happening. I keep compulsively searching/testing/checking or idk. I keep remembering details and I feel like I need to google again to be sure of something. I feel absolutely insane can someone please help me??? I’m petrified I’m going to get in trouble.

When my schizophrenic and ocd ahh won’t let me comment on celebrities posts and be supportive cause my delusional ass thinks they’ll reply and try and lure me and take advantage of me etc

When my symptoms spiked, I went onto Reddit, unknowingly seeking reassurance. I remember I went on and "researched" for a couple of hours, and suddenly felt like I'd solved everything. About an hour later, I felt like I needed to go back and check one more time. Then again, and again. It got so bad that I'd spend like entire days on there or just online searching up my experiences. I can't believe it got out of control that quickly when I look back on it. A couple of weeks later, I began suspecting OCD, and that's when I saw a video on YouTube talking about compulsions. Immediately, I forced myself to stop researching and going on Reddit. It ended up being tougher than I thought, and there were a lot of nights I spent curled up and crying from the anxiety I felt, but I've since then successfully stopped doing it. Unfortunately, the time I spent on Reddit had worsened my OCD and I adopted on a lot of intrusive thoughts that I'd read about in other peoples stories, if that makes any sense at all. And, a lot of the stories on there were a lot worse and more graphic than my own, which did not help at all. I'll just say that going on there definitely did more damage than good in the end. :( I've been learning to accept that I don't need to "solve" or find an explanation to my thoughts. I do think that for me, the OCD did stem from trauma in childhood, but I don't need to dig deeper than that right now. Especially without guidance. The reason I wrote this post is because I can't sleep, and I'm bored, so I thought I'd write about something to calm my thoughts a bit. 🤍

I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???

So some months ago i was very panicked because i was “looking” at a boy from my school, i guess he rrminded me of someone and every time i saw him i was looking at him. That turned into weels of obsesing , at home i was thinking “am i thinking about him? “ “am i a cheater “ “do i like him” “am i a bad girlfriend and betraying my boyfriend “ “why sm i thinking about his face i dont want this” i calmed down after that and them when i saw him i was fine, i didn’t thought about that anymore. This happend one time in may anf one time in September. I stopped obsesing with that and just hot my regular “what id i dont like my boyfriend amd my thoughts are real” . This week i saw that boy and he was looking at me and i started to panic again, yhinkinv thatbinlike him or that im looking at him on purpose. Rn i was thinking scenerios om how would i act if there was talking to him if i woulf gave went on erasmus project and thrn i started to think im a cheater and my boyfriend dosent deserve me to think about this i dont actually like that boy i dont know his name i just panicked that i had this thought and started to think what they mean. I feel very guilty bc i have other thoughts regsrding my ROCD amd how i feel abt my boyfriend but i love my boyfriend i feel so bad about this. I fo t want to like others. I know my thoughts are not true but i still panic and think that maybe they are

so i have a guy friend who has been a frequent victim of my intrusive thoughts. one them including thinking that i like him over my bf. this happens frequently when i listen to my favorite music. a lot of my music taste does come from my bf and most of our tastes overlap. however he likes more 90s-early 2000s rap and i like more rnb as well as rap. one of my favorite artists ever is frank ocean, which my bf doesn’t mind but it’s not on his top choices. however my guy friend is also a big frank ocean fan and he was shocked to hear that i don’t like “basic white girl music”. for some reason hearing someone else say i had a good music taste felt very validating and now all my brain thinks of when i listen to my music is my guy friend and it makes me feel like i like him over my bf. i’ve been a frank ocean fan since i was like 13 and i plan on getting something from one of my favorite songs tattooed bc it has very deep meaning to my growth as a person and i’ve always felt very connected to it. now i feel like i can’t bc all my brain can think abt is my stupid friend when i listen to music. it’s not like he’s the only friend i have that shares my music taste either. two of my other girl friends also share interests in similar artists so im pretty sure my ocd clings onto the guy friend bc it wants to make me think i cheated on my bf. this is so dumb i just want to listen to my songs without my brain making up dumb shit.

so, sometime ago, 10 ish years ago to be exact, i was sexually assaulted under the influence of drugs. it’s come & gone with varying levels of intensity throughout these years. for some time, it didn’t seem to bother me. i changed my whole room around, threw away those clothes, did more drugs so i could sleep. eventually, i stopped doing drugs or misusing medication entirely. i rejected it and throughout those years it was still in the back of my mind but i refused to think of it. it seemed better this way knowing what i know now. my cousin told me to go get help for some of the trauma i had experienced in the past as it was showing up as anger and inability to trust in my life. when i did this, the counselor asked some very hard questions, we discussed out loud, in detail the things i recall. she labeled me as a crisis patient and pushed me through to a trauma crisis therapist. we spent about a month of preparation for this program before we terminated our sessions together. so i never went through to see the crisis trauma therapist, nor did i finish all the preparation work me and my (at the time) current therapist were working on. this is when it all seemed to bother me so much more. this was about two years ago. i was scared to be around men once the incident initially occurred, but this went away as i rejected what i remembered. since then, i’ve been scared to be around men where up to this point i had gotten over that, intrusive thoughts (this was before OCD), and nightmares all started to reoccur. fast forward to now, i met my lovely boyfriend again, after we had a thing several years ago. back then, i was not so scared to be around him. in the beginning of me and him reconnecting i was scared out of my mind, constantly worrying, scared of sex and to be alone with him. when we first hung out we were cuddling and his leg was on me and i was worried, i asked him to move his leg, he did. well given some time we got through this together (me more than him) and it all seemed to be great for a short time. i know i could trust him but we were play fighting one day and he held me in a position we normally would have sex in and it gave me a thought, “what if we’re having sex like this and he decides to rape me and i can’t get away?” this thought stuck for days. so much so that i told him i didn’t want to do that position for the time being. i had a few more thoughts similar since then but brushed them off when given them time. lately, for the past month, the incident 10 years ago seemed to be fading from my mind how it used to. some days i totally forget about it, some days im aware it happened but it doesn’t bother me. the point is i was having less days where it impacted me so heavily. the other night, we were doing something, i don’t even remember what, and i got an image in my head that basically showed the position we were in and instead of me seeing what was right in front of me, when i blinked its like i saw how this position (not even sexual this time) could go horribly wrong and how, if he wanted to, he could just flip me and hold me down. my question is are these intrusive thoughts? and if they are, are they OCD related? and if so, why am i getting them of my bf and not have the flashbacks of the man himself in these specific instances? my bf would never in a million years harm me. it’s not fair to him whether he knows about this or not and it’s not fair to me to be scared sometimes for no reason. i need to know what’s going on. thank you.

I can’t take it anymore I haven’t been able to sleep or eat I’ve been starving myself non stop like it hasn’t gotten this bad with ocd idk if it’s even ocd at this point I never i thought I would be in this situation this year this is a pretty new problem I’ve never ever had this problem before all my life when I self pleasure even before hand I never plan on acting on anything while doing my alone time I’m sorry this it TMi but all the sudden I get bad intrusive thoughts of my family and in the moment i think I may have felt like I got some pleasure form it idk it just felt like I was self pleasuring bc of these thoughts so immediately afterwards I panic and cry idk why I do bc I’m doing this to myself ppl say the fact I’m feeling scared shows I didn’t do anything bad but I THINK I ONLT FEEL THIS WAY BC I’m probably realizing I made a horrible decision I never plan this out ever and I never know when the thoughts will come and this fear comes once in awhile but not everytime I feel like I’m just the only one who feels this way I’ve had some ppl say they are able to stop in between but for me I stop until afterwards idk what’s wrong with me :( I’ve been feeling really bad to the point where I don’t want to be here when I try tell myself this might be ocd I feel like I’m in denial idk if I should just turn myself in I don’t want to have anything to do with self pleasure anymore I don’t trust myself:(

Anyone else ever struggled with real event obsessions related to being a perpetrator of COCSA? A while back I had an obsessive episode about this, and it caused me to spiral so badly. It was so rough. it’s especially scary for me because I can’t confidently remember what I did or how old I was when it happened. The one thing I do know is that I was 5 years older than the other person, which just makes me all the more mortified and terrified, especially when I try to put it in perspective of how old I *might* have been at the time. (Hypothetically somewhere between 9-10) When I first had this thought pop into my head I spiralled so so hard. I spent so long replaying everything, trying to remember what actually happened, and every time I replayed the moment, it changed in my mind. I’m so scared that I’m a perpetrator of COCSA, but I can’t confidently say to what severity. I don’t think I could ever admit this openly to anyone, but part of me feels an overwhelming kind of guilt that could only ever go away if I confessed. It even makes me feel like I should be confessing to people like my boyfriend. I feel a sense of obligation to share this with him, I think partly due to the fact that I see us getting married in the future. But I don’t think I ever could tell him, and that makes me worry for the future of my relationship. I don’t want to build a relationship on secrets, and this secret feels so overwhelmingly heavy. At one time it even made me feel unworthy of love. But it would ruin our relationship if I told him. And even if I did decide to confess, I wouldn’t be able to confidently say what happened, because I don’t even know anymore. I’m stuck with an unsolvable problem it seems. The guilt is unbearable at times, and it comes and goes in waves. I’m scared that one day when I have kids the guilt will come back again in a huge way and I’ll be forced to confess. I don’t even know if this is “OCD” and I don’t want to label myself. I just know I’m experiencing some rough problems and I feel like no one can relate to my experience. At the worst of it, I felt so isolated and unlovable.

I’m a bi woman, dating a man and sex has been.. difficult lately. I zone out, I get intrusive thoughts. I’m not mentally there lately. I’m chalking it up to ocd and my birth control Or am I just realizing I’m actually gay and no longer want sex with him? And I’m seeing women who went through menopause realize they’re lesbians and I’m worried that I’m currently suppressing smthn. I know I’m bi, I’ve always enjoyed being intimate with my bf. Why is it stopping now I’m debating getting the birth control out (nexplanon arm implant) cuz it’s made the depression and anxiety worse. Which is making the ocd bad. And it’s making me panic. Should I try picturing having sex with a woman to see how it feels? Or kissing a woman? Idk anymore y’all