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Does anyone else experience false attraction and if you do can you explain what it feels like to you?

My ex got his new gf pregnant after 3 weeks of being with her, I was with him exclusively for a year and he wouldn’t ask me to be his gf. I feel absolutely horrific and worthless, why does she get this man who takes her out on dates and makes it all happy, why does he act like an arse hole to me on nights out every time and I end up crying. Why is she better than me? The thing is, there’s a 50/50 chance it’s not his, I don’t know if he knows but she was sleeping with her ex and him when they were dating, however my brain doesn’t think of that shit situation, it doesn’t think about the drama that’s gonna happen for the fact there’s cheating involved, I just always think of the fact that I got left for another girl who is prettier than me and more sexual than me (she does onlyfans)and more out there (she has a very unique style) so all in all she’s better. I’m nice, and kind and all that stuff, but I always get the bad karma, when people I loved end up in a relationship I’m always the one left to see it happen and to end up feeling like I’m not worthy of feeling love, or feeling like I have someone there who wants to be there for me. I’m sick of being abandoned

Every time I talk to my bf I feel worse, but when I’m not talking to him I feel fine. I don’t know what to do. I keep obsessing over everything he says and the way he sounds, and the way he acts. I feel like I don’t like him anymore. It’s all so confusing. I’m so scared of hurting him. Looking back I’m pretty sure that I was experiencing ROCD or relationship anxiety, but now I’m worried that it’s morphed into real feelings. I’m so scared. I’m so worried. I cry almost every day. I’m so tired of it all

Ever since my breakup I've been obsessing over whether or not I will ever find someone I'll get married to. It's so hard to accept the uncertainty because the thought of ending up alone seems so painful and I start ruminating :( Anyone else on the same boat?

Help please

does anyone else have a rly hard time getting over fights/ previous issues with partners? my partner messed up a while ago but it really wasn’t a big deal and we bounced back instantly but for some reason i can’t let it go, and the more i try to stop thinking about it the more it pops up in my head. i know our relationship is solid and he is awesome but what can i do to stop these intrusive thoughts and stop self sabotaging??

I don’t care if this sounds mean. The man just decided to post that OCD is a beneficial disorder. It angers me so mucn that people think of ocd as this thing where it makes you more clean or it makes you more meticulous and perfect, etc. etc. it took me so long to get diagnosed with OCD because nobody could understand the fact that it’s not about being clean or having any sort of obsession with cleanliness or structure. For me, I’ve always struggled with OCPD. I’ve never not been obsessed with something in my entirety of existence. I have relationship OCD. I have OCD about being in narcissist I have OCD about climate change. I have OCD about the wars going on and how they might end up the state these things have genuinely impacted my left the point where I live in fear and I get so scared and will spend hours and hours researching the possibilities of these things being true. Misinform damages literally every single person involved even people who don’t have OCD. I’m just so sick of it. This dude has a huge platform and it really bothers me that people can get away with this shit

I had a friend last year who shared his OCD experiences with me and we bonded a lot over how we ruminated on stuff and how debilitating it was to exist as Queer people with OCD. We had a lot in common and a lot not in common. Unfortunately, because my harm and relationship OCD is so bad, I would constantly worry about harming him, especially since I am white and he is a person of color and happens to be less financially privileged than me. He has some form of relationship and harm OCD as well, but he was also extremely insecure and would get triggered by so many things. Understandably so. We’d have endless conversations about race and class and gender and sexuality, and they were enjoyable to an extent, but I always felt like most of the things I said or thought was wrong and harmful and that I needed to make up for it by doing everything I could to make him happy and comfortable, but it ended up I would agree to things I didn’t really want to do with him. We got into several huge arguments because he felt betrayed and hurt when I backed out of things I initially agreed to, I do this a lot, and I would feel overwhelming amounts of guilt and shame for harming him. I felt like I was caught in a loop of trying and never being good enough, and he would rage at me and I would cry and then he would try to comfort me, but I felt powerless and like I could never express my true feelings with him without being critiqued or criticized. He and his whole family would poke fun at me for being a “privileged white boy,” which I tried to be okay with because it’s true. But it really did poke a sore spot. I would get it in my head that I’m just a racist, terrible person and wonder why he even bothered being my friend if I was so obnoxious to him. But I also just felt like our relationship was causing me too much stress and rumination so I told him I didn’t want to be friends anymore. But I really miss hanging out with him and the good times. I miss the conversations we had and the ways we used to relate and try and help each other with our mental health. I don’t miss him talking about wanting to have sex with me a lot and getting defensive when I told him to stop. I don’t miss when he would rage at me and make a confrontation turn into multiple hour-long critiques of society. I don’t miss him dismissing me asking him to give me space to focus on a task at hand as “being dismissive of real problems” because “white people never want to talk about racism,” which just wasn’t true because I spend a lot of time talking about race and racism and learning, I just can’t multi-task while I’m driving or trying to play a game and I have a really hard time with commitments and focusing. I do have ADHD as well, which isn’t always an excuse, yet I don’t think he understood how debilitating my lack of ability to focus really is, so he would constantly get angry at me for forgetting things or not being able to multi-task and I just felt like a fuck-up. But I do miss playing video games and talking about cartoons and hanging out. I don’t know what to do. I keep wanting to talk to him but it never, ever goes well. Am I just too fragile? Am I just too afraid to take accountability for my racism? I know relationships are a two-way street. And I try not to demonize him or myself in my head. I just wish it didn’t hurt so bad for us to talk with each other.

Any advice please ? What do you think about this? So I dont know what is intrusive or real . I doubt everything. Recently , a friend that I had just cut the contact.I had a crush on them .I think I still have .I need to tell that I am a lesbian.The problem is that Idk if I really cared about them . So a long time agp they told me that I was dry with them .. And I continued to be dry .. The thing is that I was like that because I was nervous when I was around them .And I was pushing them away . I am an idiot . I made someone I care about suffer and think that I dont care. Please be honest .I feel like it was more like an obsession .. how can I say that I care about someone and hurt them... To continue to hurt them. I feel ashamed. I feel like I dont have the right to be ashemed because I hurt them.I am so sorry that I kept a secret my feelings for them . I betrayed their trust .. Also I had intrusive thoughts which made it worse. Like I need to convince myself that I didnt want to hurt them but they are not in my life anymore. Its one of the worst ways a friendship ended. I didnt told them what I felt because I was scared it will end our friendship and I didnt want to make them uncomfortable . I also think that I am manipulative in a way .. sometimes I realised sometimes I dont . They told me I was gaslighting them because I was dry and I really was in messages and I really was and I told them that I am dry in messages and told me this is gaslighting .I broke their trust they didnt belived me anymore. I fucking hate myself because I feel like I destroy every friendship that I have and I fucking hate having crushes on a friend . And how I handled it . I ended up being a bad friend anyway .I didnt told them especially because I didnt want to tell them because I didnt want to make them feel like I was friends with them just because I wanted to have a relationship with them . But I think: what if I just wanted that? What if I was using them? It makes me feel so gross and I feel like a creep.Idk if it is because of ocd .I realised I am a shitty person but I am scared that I am like my intrusive thoughts ... I dont know what is true anymore its like a nightmare. At the end they told me I was fake and Idk if I am really fake or not but I really enjoyed their company .One day I met them again and they gave me something and I heard them cry . I fucking hate it . I hate that I make them suffer. Bit I cant change what I did. I wish them the best.

I have pretty bad ocd focused on my relationship. I’ve been doing the work but I had a pretty bad day on Saturday. I’m always checking how I’m feeling and I didn’t feel like singing in the car with my fiancé. Something I usually do with my fiancé. Then the thought came in my head like what if you would feel like it if you were with someone else. Then after those thoughts came in, I felt like singing. Is this ocd playing a trick on my feelings? This happened before and I usually just keep my mouth shut or I do compulsions until I feel better. I felt like I did compulsions but then I think I ended up singing. So I felt like I did something bad. Advice?

I feel like dying right now

hi i think this isn’t ocd related but it happens sooo much to me, like i set myself up to the idea that i’m going to talk to my boyfriend later in the day right, let’s say 6pm. then at 6 i tell him hey can we facetime? and he’s like oh noo, i have a thing with some classmates so i can’t. WHEN I TELL YOU i immediately go down, i get anxious, sad, angry at myself for getting my hopes up, and i end up taking it out on him. does this happen to anyone? i always feel so alone when this happens (like right now lol) thanks in advance

I just got home yesterday from seeing my long distance bf for the last 4 days and the moment I got home it felt like a part of me was missing… my mood always drops and the ocd thoughts start almost instantly… before I left I cried about how I didn’t wanna go, this is simply worth mentioning because I don’t cry in front of anyone except for him. This past weekend was just so much fun and I didn’t want it to end. I love him so much but ocd loves to butt in and try to steal my happiness….However I’m too stubborn to allow it to completely ruin my day/week…. I hope everyone has an amazing rest of your day ♥️

Everything is so chaotic right now and I feel like I’m making a terrible mistake in my relationship. I’ve never been in a real relationship before now, just a lot of failed talking stages and infatuated crushes who didn’t even bother to look in my direction. And now I’m with someone who truly does love me and care about me, he checks of all by boxes, but now I’m worried I don’t actually like him or I’m just not that into him. I’m worried this is one of those things where they’re great on paper but I just don’t feel a strong enough attraction. I feel so confused and stressed and doubtful and anxious all the time. I don’t want to hurt him, and part of me so badly wants this to work out while the other part of me feels like I want to leave. The thought of being with him forever scares me and I worry it won’t be right and I won’t be happy. I also worry that I’m convincing myself to stay when I shouldn’t or deep down don’t want to. Every day it feels more and more like I want to leave. It’s just a mess. I’m worried I won’t ever be happy. I’ve been fighting for this relationship so hard, I’ve been trying so badly to make it work, and despite all the stress and anxiety, I’ve stayed. But I’m worried I’m just forcing a relationship that isn’t right. I’m so lost

Hi guys. I’ve been doing good lately which I’m thankful for. But yesterday I had a bit of a relapse. I want to a party with my boyfriend yesterday. I found myself very attracted to one of his friends. He had on a nice cologne too. I have met this friend a million times and never felt this strong attraction to him before. I have no intentions at all to leave my boyfriend for his friend etc. I love my boyfriend very much. But this made it worse, I felt so guilty and kept thinking to myself did I flirt? Even though I know I didn’t. Then I kept having thoughts of his friend making out with me etc which was so uncomfortable and just randomly through the night. Has anyone else experienced anything similar?

I recently got into a relationship about three months back but him and I have been talking since last year November. This is probably the healthiest relationship I have ever been in and the man I’m with is the sweetest and kindest person to ever exist. Before this I was in a long term abusive relationship and I would go through rocd constantly with thoughts such as I may like someone else or “I should cheat” even if I’m having a conversation with someone of the opposite sex who’s my friend. My boyfriend is currently on his senior trip and I was out with some of my bestfriends, one of them being a guy that I had a little bit of history with but I didn’t want anything from it because he wasn’t compatible in that way but amazing as a friend. While I was hanging out with them I constantly kept getting intrusive thoughts such as oh I should do something or oh I don’t even like my boyfriend and I kept comparing them for the next couple of days. I feel so guilty and disgusting and I know the thoughts aren’t true but I just feel so terrible considering how amazing my boyfriend is. I really do love him infact we’re planning our future together but rocd is just getting in the way. Any kind of advice would be helpful❤️

Hi I haven’t posted here in a while but lately my OCD thoughts have been presenting themselves in my relationships. I was in a relationship last year with someone who i know wasn’t good for me. I ended it indefinitely about 6 months ago and have felt like a big part of me has moved on. about 3 months ago i started seeing someone else and quickly fell for them. soon after i realized they too were not serving me the way i need, so i ended that relationship too. yesterday i found out that my first ex is dating someone that i know. and i cannot stop obsessing about this. it feels like a gut punch and like i cannot function and i keep wanting to give into toxic unhealthy habits and compulsions to relieve this feeling. has anyone experienced this or have any advice?

I really need help, this has been a new subtype coming up, I think??? It has been going on for three days straight So, can ocd trick you into thinking you like someone?? Like making you feel things?? I’m seriously terrified and I keep thinking and feeling things like this and it’s freaking me out Because, number one, I’m in a happy relationship with my gf and would never do that and I don’t want to break up???! And I don’t genuinely like anyone like that??? I’m scared that it’s true or something, and it makes me extremely uncomfortable and terrified, and it has made me stay away from people

A mixture of heartbreak and ocd is the worst combination to have when you’re a young adult trying to find their way through life and all I can think about is how do I just stop feeling, how can I just stop living this way, and if I’ll ever feel like my normal self again. I am a broken woman and I feel it so deep within my body that it hurts beyond repair. Everyone keeps saying give yourself time you’ll heal, but I can’t do this anymore. Genuinely I’m stuck and I’m unhappy with the state of my life and myself, I’m sick of being stuck on a person who doesn’t like me, on every night out disrespects me and my family, makes me cry and feel replaceable. Worthless is another, I feel insanely worthless. Hes now with another girl and she’s pregnant. They’ve been together 3 weeks, we broke up a month ago and stopped speaking 3 weeks ago. So the time period for everything is incredibly rushed and makes me feel even worse about myself. Nobody wants to be with me, why? I don’t even want to be with myself anymore. I have this horrendous feeling in my stomach every single day, makes me feel sick or something. And I’m just done with feeling this way. All I want is to feel better again and I don’t know where to begin. Therapy didn’t work, medication is a no, how do people do this? I’m starting to have scary thoughts about not being here anymore, and how the only way I’ll feel at peace with myself or something is to just fall asleep and never wake up. It’s stupid I know because it’s only a break up, but it’s not just the break up, I hate the way I thinks the way I act, the way I’m perceived by others, the constant worry everyone is talking about me, the constant nagging in my head fnag I’m useless, worthless, ugly, stupid, pathetic, psychotic, crazy, hated, laughed at, judged, perosn that nobody wants around. It’s hard and idk what I do anymore

Does being an affectionate person feed anyone else's ocd? I used to be super touch repulsed as a kid and young teen but after alot of therapy I became a really physically affectionate person. I love hugging and cuddling the people I care about, close friends, family, etc. But ever since my first ocd flare up sometimes it can feel like my ocd recontextualizes this to mean I'm some kind of pervert whose uses being an affectionate guy as an excuse to get too close to people. I feel like alot of the time we can shut down parts of ourselves to "apease" the ocdemon as a form of avoidance, but I don't want to be anyone but the friendly guy who loves his friends and isn't afraid to show it. So if you feel the same tell me ur story, maybe we can support eachother