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I need some LGBT OCD support Okay so I have a cousin I’ve spent time with over the years and I just remembered a memory about her mentioning something homophobic. I remember me complaining about being gay once in 2017 and she had stated she had heard “a guy in her church claimed to have changed” I think this triggered me because now that I’m learning self-respect I know I don’t need to be around someone who doesn’t support me. Was she telling me to do it? Or was she just stating she heard that in her church? Was it conversion therapy or counseling or praying away the gay? So I asked her recently, I did end up asking for reassurance. Does she support conversion therapy? And she said No. she didn’t even know what it was apparently. And she said she is one of my biggest supporters, she does support me. But I still am obsessing about that small conversation wondering should I keep this relationship to maintain self-respect or what if she’s lying and she’s actually not supportive of me? What if she was telling me to change?

I was okay today w my bf. Still anxious and numb and a little uncomfortable, but was okay. I’m doing erp watching videos of women explaining comphet (signs you’re lesbian but society makes you think you’re straight) and I feel like I relate to them, even though before it never even crossed my mind and I felt so happy with my bf. So now I don’t know if I was just oblivious and lesbian the whole time, or my ocd is extremely good at trying to trick me. Cause now I’m doubting how “happy” I actually was

please I need help... I have been with rocd, hocd and a lot of sexual thoughts for several months. I currently have a wonderful boyfriend, who I love madly. However, days ago we talked about how it is natural to feel attracted to other people. Talking about this topic has made me even more upset. I continually analyze my thoughts and body sensations to find out whether or not I find someone attractive. The point is that today I was watching a video on tiktok. And in that video a boy appeared declaring his feelings to a girl who did not reciprocate. And I don't really know what I thought, I think I had a strange bodily sensation in my body, perhaps of affection, of affection. And then a thought/feeling of wanting to kiss him came into my head. This has been bothering me all day. I don't want to kiss anyone who isn't my boyfriend, and not just because I want to be faithful to him, but because I don't want to. But what if I'm just fooling myself? What if I am polyamorous? For me, attraction is simply that someone is your type but you don't want anything with that person nor do you feel the desire to kiss them or so on, for me that is when the attraction is greatest. And I don't experience that kind of attraction with someone other than my boyfriend. So why did I think that? The boy is cute but he's not my type either. If I think about kissing him it makes me uncomfortable. Don't know. I don't know if it's occult or if it's not. I need help, because I need to know what OCD is so I can stay calm, or else I will feel like I have no control over my life again. I don't want to continue suffering.

So I turned 32 not too late ng ago and I feel like it is more of a shock to me than I think I would care and having anxiety I started thinking some dumb thoughts. I haven't dated in about 9 years and coupled with taking stock of my age and the fact I have had pocd themes I had a dumb thought saying "what if I meet women my age and aren't into them and my intrusive thoughts are proof that I'm not?" This thought bothered me since why would I worry about that. So I tried to envision myself with a woman around my age or at least a couple years younger and us having a date and then me reacting negatively to it I also thinking that when I was with her I would think I can't believe I'm with someone that's old or someone that not too long ago I would perceive to be much older than myself. Then that made me even more scared cuz then I thought do I actually have a grass that I'm as old as I am or do I have like the mentality of someone who's younger and can't grow up correctly or something. like I try to think back to when I was in college and I had friends who were in their early thirties and I always looked at them like sort of an older more experienced person who I sort of looked up to now I'm in that age group and I guess the fear literally does come from based on everything that I thought and the things that I've gone through will I treat dating like I've always treated it or would I look at someone to be like Man I'm looking at someone that 9 years ago I would have thought looked like a mother or something and now I'm that age. That worries me because I think a regular person wouldn't have to even think of something like that.

I can't help but to get really anxious and panic when I'm watching a movie and I see a male that has good looking features. Because it makes me think that if I'm noticing that they are a good looking person. then I have to question my sexuality. Especially when I'm sitting with my girlfriend. I get super nervous because my body reacts with a chill that runs down my skull and hits me in the gut. Then I feel super embarrassed when this happens. I know that I'm not attracted to men because I don't think about them sexually or want anything to do with them in that way. I've had other instances where this have happened in public at my old jobs that I had to leave because ppl think that I must be gay. I'm the straightest gay guy I know I guess. Lol but I was literally tormented and made fun of at those jobs. But it actually gave me a stronger mindset. I also have lots of trigger words that will make me act strange. I just want to live life ! It's been exhausting. I also cannot stop creating the ideas that I'm being cheated on in every relationships and my past relationships suffered and I don't want it to keep happening.

Please , please… someone give me some advice who is or has been in similar situation?? I need to stop confessing to my partner. I know it hurts him, he said he knows I cannot control that I have a mental illness, or that I have these thoughts in my head but not to put them in his head, he doesn’t want to think about them which is understandable it’s not just random thoughts it’s intrusive thoughts revolved around ROCD, SOCD mostly are my ocd themes that I confess to him… we have spilt up over this before and he gave me another chance and just continues to do that, because I just keep doing it, I know what I’m doing, I know it’s wrong, but the anxiety ocd gives me nothing else will calm me until I confess either to him or if it’s not him it’s my mum, either way I’m still confessing the difference is it doesn’t hurt my mum when I confess, she can handle it, my partner cannot. I hate myself for doing this, I don’t know how to get out of the OCD haze… best way I can describe when I feel anxious over ocd is a feeling of DOOM. 😔😭 please pray for me… please pray for my partner, my daughter, mother, everyone who is affected because of my mental illness… 🤎

Idk what is wrong with me. For so long I was so strong in my sexual preference for women as a straight man but after I was 17 I had a really bad experience where a girl told people around my school I sexually assaulted her and it fucking killed me. For years, massive depression couldn’t touch a women for years afterwards until after I graduated when in 2021. 2 months in my first trust gf when we had sex my anxiety went so far up that it put me in a panic attack or “fight or flight” reaction and my erection went soft immediately and couldn’t be put back up. I think also I was scared of sex itself and being good at it, I suck at calming my mind down in those situations and just being on the moment. Now since a young teenager I’ve always found women attractive and had crushes on them. Always fantasized about having sex with them and got aroused by it, just the act of making out with women gets me going or sometimes just being close to one. Mental attraction also goes a lot into my attraction to a women. But after that one altercation with my first gf out of fear I was gay i dumped her and left. Been struggling with it for years now. Never knew that I have HOCD till a couple years ago when I reading up on it. Then my past little fling past “situationship” ended horribly but I did have brief sex with her in my car but it ended fast because it was just too uncomfortable in the back of a Mustang😂but yeah then the next time after we had broke things off multiple times I just had no attraction to her anymore as a person although at one point I was almost in love with the girl and wanted to make her my gf. When I was younger I started a horrible addiction to porn that has horribly affected me. It’s comes to the point where straight porn doesn’t get me going anymore so I started resorting to stuff like trans porn. I always look for the most female looking one because the “manly” ones always just turn me off. So now I have stopped watching porn because I realized it was just turning was I truly liked and making it something it isn’t. My brain was just looking do true quick fix of a ejaculation. When I was younger I always watched straight porn and it always turned me on but as I got older watching it 3 to 4 times a day it started to attracted me less and less. Where now some days I struggle finding women attractive when before hand I adored and always found women attractive as long in my type range you know. Hope that all makes sense but yeah it’s brutal as man dealing with this problems because it just make you feel less than and like you are gay when as a young man this problem was not a problem. I was never attracted to men as a young teenager or even older teenager.

It’s as if I had a huge wave of realization that I actually am lesbian. Up until this point it was like part of me knew I wasn’t lesbian but now it feels like my body and mind is just accepting it, as if I’m too tired to fight it and the “proof” in my past is too much now. My mind is already putting scenarios in my head of how to tell my parents and the anxiety of having to tell my bf :( I don’t know what this is and I don’t know who I am anymore

I’ve been dealing with feelings that feel so true and so genuine that idk how I can be the straight and girl crazy person I used to be . It feels like I’m actually gay and I just can’t comprehend it. It doesn’t feel a disorder like when these feelings happen. Anyone have experience with this?

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe2gL8Gu/ Why do I feel like i'm attracred to her??? She isnt even masculine

On December 31st, 2023, my brain decided to create the most disturbing image possible of a person and I from my school supposedly doing the deed/me getting violated. It bothered me so much, until I started to imagine it as a poster shredded up in a machine. It rarely comes to my mind now. However, since then, it seems like any guy remotely close to my age I pass by, my brain will remember their face and begin creating disturbing inappropriate thoughts and images. It has happened twice now since that day. There were no events leading up to the first thought and since my brain gets foggy fast, it won't allow me to remember much (I guess this could be one of those instances where your brain blocks out traumatic memories). Having a partner makes it worse. I'm deeply upset at myself knowing he'll be scared I'll see another man who I have no attraction or affinity towards and have these intrusive thoughts. He has however been as supportive as he can. I've cried about it a few times now, but compared to my normal crying, this feels way less intense and only lasts a few minutes which I don't understand why and feel bad about not being able to "react enough." It could be my brain telling me "this isn't a big deal" when I've cried over many other things that are unlikely to happen and or things that won't happen anytime soon. I've been told its normal, I'm a hypochondriac, but if the definition of normal hasn't been changed to "feeling like an insane asylum patient" then I won't be calling it normal, but more like "common." Moreover, my intrusive thoughts have felt even slightly conscious. As in my brain is trying to make me believe I like them when I don't. My brain might still be developing, but I am terrified for how long these thoughts might persist. I could probably call the thoughts episodes since they stick around for 10 minutes and then come back later. Now everytime I see another man or these thoughts come back, my stomach gets a mix of stomach knot and stomach drop feeling. If I'm not currently in an episode, I can easily distract myself, but the thoughts still linger and now make everyday life more bothersome. I don't know why or how these thoughts started, but they've been terrible and made me feel both disgusting and disgusted. I'm however glad I don't get groinal responses to these thoughts. To summarize all of this, I'm just asking for reassurance from others with similar experiences and possible solutions to these dehabilitating thoughts.

Can someone tell me how SOOCD is my brain trying to keep me safe? 8+ years constantly wanting the feeling that I’m gay to go away. Ever since this thought popped in, I can’t stop FEELING like it’s true and I am actually gay. Why would my brain do that? How is that my brain keeping me safe? If anyone could logically go through how this theme works, that would be great.

Does anyone feel like they’re fully convinced that they’re gay/lesbian? Along with loss of attraction to the opposite sex?

Not sure if I should be doing this cause at this point idk what’s real and what’s not. But I keep asking myself the same questions and imagining the same scenarios as a regular person who’s questioning their sexuality would, and it’s starting to feel like I really am lesbian :( I’ve asked myself “could I go my whole life without being w a woman (romantic or sexual)” or “if there were no men left and I was surrounded by women for the rest of my life would I be content” I either can’t confidently answer the question or it feels like I’m just leaning towards women :( the scenarios I play in my head now feel like I want them. not sure if it’s just because I’ve been thinking about it sooo much that my mind is everywhere, but I feel nothing for men anymore .. I don’t know who I am anymore. Before the ocd I was perfectly happy with my bf. Sexual and everything, everything was great. I hadn’t even thought of being with a woman :( I don’t understand and the thought of leaving my bf makes me want to cry. But now it feels like I’m going ti be forced to be with a girl, or if I stay with my bf and recover then I’ll actually realize I am lesbian.

Hi there, I am looking to get some support and advice, I recently started to suffer from SO-OCD due to tiktok. My feed started to have videos " if you did this or thought this you are gay" or videos of girls coming out later in life. I have never questioned my sexuality and have always been with men, I find it triggering as some of the things mentioned in the videos, I agree with but never thought it could mean I was gay. It had made me question everything and made me try to look back on the past to see if there were any evidence of this. I am nowhere near homophobic, but this is not the life I want for myself, so why is my mind so fixate on these thoughts if this is not who I identify nor want. I also struggle with ROCD Any advice or support would be greatly appreciated! xx

Why am I noticing alot more handsome men? Is it my insecurities? I've noticed I have no desire to have sex and I've asked my girlfriend what she thinks and she said it's normal because she finds her friends pretty and beautiful but even then finding another man handsome is extremely uncomfortable and makes me feel bisexual. it's causing me alot of anxiety and discomfort right now ):

Has anyone with soocd thought that they looked Lesbian and then just obsessed about it and then thought that must have meant that they were a lesbian and they all the times they though they were going to marry an man just all of a sudden though about it would be a women. It’s like a switch!!!!! It’s horrible and I don’t know what the truth is. I want a man and to have kids but now I’m question all of that and freaking out.

I have had OCD my entire life and my obsessions have changed one after the other. As a child I was afraid I was going to overdose on pills, stab family members, then being transgender and gay, leaving stove or iron on, and now my dominant obsession is getting the wrong degrees and going to wrong school. I’m 39 and it’s very debilitating. When the intrusive thought comes about my education I feel so bad and I feel like I’m being held hostage. It’s very intense and I wasn’t able to hold a job and I contemplated suicide many times. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt because the major and university didn’t align with my values or who I really am. I would seek relief by googling the university etc. but it never helped. My OCD has taken over my entire life. Whenever I think about my education I don’t like it and it doesn’t sit well with me and I don’t even like discussing it with anyone. I feel dead inside and I feel like I’m just surviving. I carry a lot of guilt and shame and I always feel like the worst.

How do I stop the thoughts of false attraction towards a family member like my dad it won’t stop and I feel like such a bad and manipulative person

I’m in a really bad panic at the moment re my ocd. I’m trying so hard to accept the thoughts/feelings and accept how real and true it all feels, despite the panic and anxiety. I read somewhere that you can clearly tell the difference between a thought about your sexuality being true vs an ocd thought. It said if the thoughts/feelings/narrative makes you feel panic, anxiety and dread, like you don’t want the thoughts, then it’s ocd. If they make you feel warm, content and normal, then they’re likely not ocd. Is that how people and psychologists differentiate? My situation is that I’m a 36 year old male that never questioned or had to question my sexuality until one day at 26, I had the question pop up “are you gay”. Since then, it’s like I don’t know who I am anymore. Questioning, checking, anxious 24/7, wanting to escape myself. Help :(