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If my OCD is trying to convince me I’m gay due to past compulsions. Every time I have that through I now repeat in my head that I’m straight several times to battle it. If I continue to do that am I just creating a compulsion??

hey has anyone ever had like groinal responses but it always happens at weird times? Like when someone is fighting, when ur mad, or when ur stressed out. i’m scared i get turned on by bad things happening. my parents just fought and my mind keeps trying to tell me that them doing that makes me happy and then i got a groinal response. really struggling with this lately.

Hello everyone. I recently discovered that I am bisexual and I've had a lot on my mind lately. One of my biggest worries would be if my parents found out. I come from a Christian household. Growing up Christian, I've never really discussed my sexuality until recently with my best friend who is also bi, as well as my therapist. I do at some point want to have that conversation but I need to get over the fear to an extent. Any tips?

My Ocd turns everything innocent and normal into something horrible. Sometimes when my daughter and I are watching tv she will want to play with and brush my hair. It feels so nice and relaxing or she will cuddle up and rub her feet on mine which is relaxing and makes me feel sleepy but ocd ruins it by telling me it’s inappropriate and that i’m enjoying something inappropriate. One day I saw a snapchat video my young grandson made of himself just out of the shower looking at himself shirtless in the mirror and I was thinking that he thinks he’s so cool and is probably going to flex like all boys do and laughed to myself but then the ocd kicked in and said that I was attracted to him and it made me so upset because I never have and don’t think of any child in that way. I don’t feel that way so how can ocd try to make me believe that I do?? How can ocd be more powerful than my own actual thoughts and feelings? This disorder is so debilitating and upsetting. I can’t live like this.

It feels like I have turned gay I don’t even think I have hocd anymore I just want to end it all

I hope someone can respond... Im genuinely so triggered and so anxious... This youtuber was accused of grooming a minor, making inappropriate sex jokes with a minor, and planning to meet up with him at dreamcon when the minor turned 16, talking about doing explicit stuff in the presence of minors, etc... this was all when the youtuber was 20 and the minor was 13... POCD is saying that my situation with me venting about 18+ HOCD stuff to people in the PM's on an OCD groupchat I found from NOCD, including minors, means that I am just as bad as they are... or worse... I pm'ed them from the support group and vented to them (including the minors) about my 18+ HOCD struggles... I dont ever want to ever be attracted to minors in any way... I dont ever want to ever engage in any inappropriate relations with minors in any way...

My OCD flared up and went to town on my mental well being yesterday. Intrusive thought after intrusive thought, groinal response after groinal response, rumination after rumination. All three of which lead to a dark rabbit hole. Trying to figure out if I am capable of any of those actions presented in the thoughts, coming up with scenarios in which the “possibilities” is high for said actions and lastly, trying to determine if I need to unalive myself or have myself institutionalized to prevent all of it. I know it was all just what I would usually tell many of you, “A bad day with OCD,” but today as the title says. I’m just emotionally drained. Don’t care to fight back against the OCD. If the OCD says I’m a pedophile, maybe I am, maybe I’m not, I don’t care. If my groinal area wants to move, let it, I don’t care. Now for my personal question, anyone ever get to this point? Just emotional indifference? Please reply, today is already a bad day but I promise to try to have a better day tomorrow.

hi so i posted a couple days ago talking about the intrusive thoughts i had telling me i was a lesbian. so i know that i am not but my brain has been trying to convince me that i’m extremely attracted to women. it doesn’t affect me so much in person because if i see a girl and think “wow she’s pretty” it’s pretty easy for me to redirect the intrusive thoughts that come after it. however when im on social media i seem to have this problem. i have a variety of content creators i enjoy watching either on tik tok or youtube. however when i scroll through a girls account on tik tok, my brain tells me that im stalking her because i have a crush on her which i know is not true. so eventually i have to stop watching the videos even if i don’t want to because it feels “wrong” and like im cheating on my bf with a girl that i don’t even like. i am trying to still watch videos and sit with the uncomfortable thoughts to prove to myself that nothing bad is happening and that i can enjoy a girls content and style without automatically feeling like i must be lesbian because i think she looks nice. i love my boyfriend very much and don’t think anybody else would satisfy me romantically, sexually, and even just as a friend as much as he does man or woman. im mostly just writing this to get it out because it helps me calm down and to see if anyone else has similar experiences.

Tried to say "ok im just gonna accept that i'm gay" and you felt calm, like It was true and then It freaked you out wven more cause It felt real???

This post will be for people 18+ and it is a topic on sexual attraction, if you are comfortable you can read but it’s completely up to you. I know I’m not the only woman that watches lesbian love for pleasure as we are all humans and our hormones go up. I’ve been watching lesbian love for years now (about 3 years) and in most of that time, not once did I question my sexuality until someone asked me a question that triggered my overthinking. Today after watching that, I was asking myself questions like what it would feel like to do this with a woman? How would it feel like to be with one? And because these thoughts came to my mind I freaked out because I keep thinking that I like females but never in my life and even till this day have I ever fallen in love with a women or even thought about marrying a women one day. I always want to have a husband one day and at least have a kid or two. But lately all this questioning has me confused to the point where I question if I’m bi or lesbian and if I even have SOOCD or if it’s generally just me tryna figure out my sexuality or if I’m just in denial. I am also talking to a man romantically and whenever I’m around him I feel happy and I’m always excited to talk to him and he also makes my heart flutter and my body burn for him. But because of these recent thoughts I’ve been having, it just confuses me and adds some stress. Any tips for how I can go about this?

I hope someone can respond... Im genuinely so triggered and so anxious... This youtuber was accused of grooming a minor, making inappropriate sex jokes with a minor, and planning to meet up with him at dreamcon when the minor turned 16, talking about doing explicit stuff in the presence of minors, etc... this was all when the youtuber was 20 and the minor was 13... POCD is saying that my situation with me venting about 18+ HOCD stuff to people in the PM's on an OCD groupchat I found from NOCD, including minors, means that I am just as bad as they are... or worse... I pm'ed them from the support group and vented to them (including the minors) about my 18+ HOCD struggles... I dont ever want to ever be attracted to minors in any way... I dont ever want to ever engage in any inappropriate relations with minors in any way...

I have been having a lot of fears and intrusive thoughts lately and it’s been hard for me to help myself believe that it’s all just ocd and not that im crazy. I just wish the thoughts of “what if this, what if that” would just stop. I feel like i am so close to just breaking down and spiraling. I have held it together for a while, just going day to day with these fears but it is getting harder and harder every day to not spiral out of control and have a panic attack. Constantly im thinking “oh you thought this person looks generally beautiful? You must be x, you are a horrible person” but i know in my head that it doesnt mean anything to merely think someone looks good, a lot of people are beautiful or have attractive features and someone just acknowledging it without any bad intentions or thoughts doesnt mean anything but i cant help but think that it means something bad. I dont know what to tell myself to just calm myself down. I would never do anything to hurt anyone and i have no desires to ever do anything bad or inappropriate to anyone, especially kids. I am just always thinking that some thought might mean something really bad, and all those thoughts are is that i notice features that might be considered attractive or beautiful

I just need to vent. I feel hopeless. When i think about guys i feel anxiety. That’s why im scared that I’m actually experiencing comphet. I dont feel anything for guys. But i also do not want to do anything with girls. But i do get thoughts that im gay. It feels real. It makes me so sad that i feel like this. It feels like i should accept my true identity. I cant anymore. Why does it feel like i know im gay and i just have to come out and admit that I’m gay? 😔 i think no one feels like this. I want to cry. I feel empty.

I get that you can’t fight the thoughts, otherwise they get way worse. No use arguing that, it’s OCD-101. lol. But agreeing with them can be damaging right? Especially with POCD and SO-OCD. I’ve accepted that I’ve had these thoughts and have stopped trying to fight them mostly, but I refuse to accept that the thoughts say anything about me. Is that the correct way of dealing with it? Agreeing with them seems like it truly would damage me and hurt my self-confidence.

I need to talk to someone, I basically believe that almost all I have experience to this point with my HOCD until now it was just OCD tricks and bullshit, but I have this one memory that it's killing me cause it happened before the HOCD, and it's me having a feeling like I could actually crush on a dude, I just had it for one moment one night, I'm not sure why, but I did had it, and this was before I had HOCD, I'm also pretty sure it's not a false memory and I don't know what to do

This youtuber was accused of making inappropriate sex jokes with a minor, and planning to meet up with him at dreamcon when the minor turned 16... this was all when the youtuber was 20 and the minor was 13... POCD is saying that my situation with me venting about 18+ HOCD stuff to people in the PM's on an OCD groupchat I found from NOCD, including minors, means that I am just as bad as they are... or worse... I pm'ed them from the support group and vented to them about my 18+ HOCD struggles... I dont ever want to ever be attracted to minors in any way... I dont ever want to ever engage in any inappropriate relations with minors in any way...

Earlier this year, after 7 years since I first experienced it, my SO OCD returned. When I had previously experienced it, I remember taking all these tests at the time, that said I was most likely experiencing SOOCD but I completely neglected the OCD part, and let the experience of that period of my life haunt me. When it returned this year, after weeks of worsening depression I told my wife and finally reached out to help. It was then I finally realized the OCD aspect, received a diagnosis and became aware of just how my OCD had been tormenting me through the years. I am writing this at a point where I believe I have finally conquered this theme, or at to e very least am close to conquering it. I could very well have a lapse though, but the one thing I am thankful for with this theme is that it helped me finally confront my demons, some that I didn’t even know about, and learn the tools that, hopefully, will prevent me from reaching the pit I have fallen into. As I write this too, I’ll be honest in admitting that a lot of what I have experienced this year feels like a blur. I wish I could recall every thought and feeling that I have had to help whoever takes the time to read this post, but I will do my best in just listing some tips that have helped me, especially in the last few weeks. So hopefully these help at least one person out there - Get off of social media - no Facebook, no Twitter, and especially no Reddit, even these OCD subs. You will see highly triggering things on these sites, and while you may not realize it yet, the reason you are even coming to subs like this one, is for reassurance which is only keeping OCD around more. It’s hard but the more you’re able to resist any of these the better - Stop watching porn - Whether you’re watching gay or straight porn to make sure you’re still turned on by it, or not turned on by it. Doing this will result in you performing a checking compulsion. Even then, are brains are wired to get turned on by anything sexual. If you listen to the podcast Purely OCD, they have a snippet in their episodes covering SO OCD that says it best, it that we are all animals when it comes to sex. - Get therapy - If you can afford it, and if you can’t try to reach out to someone that does OCD peer support like Chrissie Hodges - Your SO OCD may just be a disguise for another theme - Throwing their name out again but Purely OCD, both the therapists mentioned how they see SO OCD as being either moral scrupulosity OCD or existential OCD. For me I found both to play a role. A lot of the “reasons” I was actually the opposite of the orientation I thought I was, had an existential reasoning, i.e. there was some kind of extreme super repressive way my brain was actually keeping me from knowing the truth and the what happens next had a moral scrupulosity basis, I.e I have to leave my wife because it’s not fair to her - Try to be the orientation you fear - you running away from it is keeping you stuck in fear. Now for me when I see a dude. I accept that I’m going to be triggered. I even tell myself, hey, if you’re going to start liking dudes now I’ll have to get over this anxiety so, and guess what happens? Nothing. I don’t suddenly turn gay. I still feel distress sometimes and when I don’t, I’m not even thinking about figuring out what my thoughts could mean towards my sexual orientation. The simple fact that you’re feeling this distress shows that what you’re experiencing is SO OCD, and if you’re not feeling distress you’re not thinking about it and having the response you want to have. - Know that SO OCD is misunderstood - there will be people who say to just try engaging with someone of your feared orientation. These people may mean well because unlike something like harm OCD, engaging in a checking compulsion isn’t as bad, but these people are wrong. This will only lead to more confusion and distress. Trust the therapists that know what SOOCD is. - Watch out for a theme switch - OCD is a tricky beast and will do whatever it can to keep you stuck. For me my SOOCD switched to meta OCD along the way, but still wore the mask of SOOCD. I have spent months now trying to figure out if I really do have OCD and those thoughts only reminded me of my SOOCD and kept me stuck fighting that illusion while I was really fighting a new one - Trust yourself - There is a reason you think this is SOOCD. Your brain is stuck trying to find a new answer, so you can not trust the thoughts and feelings that you currently have. Instead trust the you that got you here today and work towards being a new you that sees these thoughts for what they are, meaningless. - Do not set a time table - much like anything else in life it takes people different times to learn things. Overcoming OCD take time and practice. You will have lapses and you won’t be perfect in resisting compulsions, nor need to capture if you’re doing a new compulsion right away. None of that takes away from the progress you have made and will make fighting this terrible illness. Even everything that I have written will not just “click” right away and that’s okay - OCD can do anything - if you worry if what you’re experiencing is not OCD, just know that it is, and that the answer to whatever question you want to ask as far as, can OCD, has yes as an answer. - You are not alone - that voice inside your head is a liar. You have the 4th most debilitating mental illness in the world and probably have been dealing with it longer than you have even realized. You have plenty of community with people online but know that what I have written and what others will say do not make your fight with OCd effortless. just know that you are not alone in that fight however and that you can do this!

Guys I’m super confused. I know I’ve posted about this before, but I feel like I may be on the asexual spectrum, but then it’s giving me a lot anxiety. Why? I can’t get used to the label, but I think it makes sense? But it doesn’t feel right. I don’t know if it’s the desire to be straight as that is how I’ve always identified. Idk. I feel very distressed. Hocd does not make this easier. I’m 16. Any advice or ways to be calm? X

Im just so confused about the attraction. I feel like i’ve never really felt sexual attraction towards someone, or maybe i did i just dont remember. I personally dont really think im asexual. Maybe this is reassurance seeking but how does real attraction, or sexual attraction feels like? Im scared that my admiration for woman was actually attraction?😔 even though i had no sexual or romantic fantasies or desires with them. I can tell if a woman is pretty or attractive but i’ve never had any desire to date one. And it scares me. Like what if i’ve never been attracted to a guy? I dont even remember how does it feels like. Im so fu*ked up, like im 20 years old, my last crush was when i was 13 on a guy (even that my ocd makes me doubt) and i have these thoughts since 14. It got me in this early age when everyone around me were experiencing crushes and i DID NOT.

I first began NOCD therapy in crisis mode. I had been stuck in SO-OCD since 2022 and there came a point where I would have to do deep breathing exercises before my best friend’s bridal shower because I feared intrusive thoughts and feelings during the event. After spending two years in talk therapy, mentally and emotionally stuck in rumination and isolation, I made a desperate call to NOCD after a morning walk riddled with racing thoughts and tears. I began ERP therapy with Emily and in the beginning, there were many tears and anxiety over finally confronting the thoughts, images, and needing to develop new strategies instead of compulsions. Starting medication was the final boost I needed to succeed in my ERP homework and developing new neural pathways to combat OCD. The total war approach of therapy, medication, and taking each day as it comes has given me life again. I used to check my eyes because they would be puffy from the raging cortisol and stress. It’s been two weeks and my eyes look wide and clear again. Mental compulsions that would take hours of my day are now a blip in my brain that I can let pass and move forward with the day ahead. Thank you NOCD, Emily, Dr. Azzem and God for bringing me to life again!