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I have posted the problem to which noone has replied, I think I shall delete this app.

Does anyone struggle with a particular sin wondering if it’s a sin or not and then you’re like okay it’s not and then you go with it but then feel guilty anyway does that mean it is? And then if I resist it and don’t do it I still am spiraling cuz I want to do it but then I’m like maybe I have to deny my flesh. Like I have to work on Sunday a lot but then some people are like observe the sabbath!!! And I want to but you can’t do anything and I know it shouldn’t be set by rules and it’s a blessing that God gives us rest but I really want to run some errands today but feel like I can’t cuz if I do that’s a willful sin then I’m like well it can wait cuz it’s not THAT important. And then some really deep pages say it’s Saturday and Saturday only and I’m just being stuck in my ways and not listening

I will start this by saying I KNOWWW I shouldn't confess as it's a compulsion- but how do I know when confessing is being communicative and honest? I don't have a habit to confess- I'm able to handle my instrusive thoughts and spirals privately without telling my boyfriend but recently something happened that I feel like I need to share with him. I was racing a car to be playful and because I felt attractive and powerful doing so- I didn't know who was in the car or what they looked like, not even their gender- I just saw a black car in my peripheral and started racing it a little. While doing so I didn't think much of it and just felt like it was fun and I felt attractive (I don't know why but I like to feel that people perceive me as attractive while I drive), then a second later I was like "wait am I flirting?", so I stopped trying to race the car immediately. I pulled up next to the car at a light and realized it was a man, which sent me into a spiral. I've been thinking about it nonstop and I've felt incredibly guilty. I will say that in the beginning of our relationship I got into some trouble because I flirted with someone while drunk. I told my boyfriend about it and he was upset, but forgave me and we moved on. I think ROCD latched onto that and ever since then I've worried that every interaction I have with a man is flirting. I feel like I should confess to my boyfriend out of respect because I am unsure if it was flirting or not. I know I shouldn't because I'm not 100% sure and will make him confused, but I'd rather be open and honest than keep a secret from him. Because I DID want to be perceived as cool and attractive by racing that car, even if I hadn't seen who was in it (for all I know it could've been an old person or something).. Flirty behavior or attention seeking..? It just feels like I flirted and I've fully convinced myself I flirted and that I NEED to tell my boyfriend. I think about him and think about how I'm hiding things and keeping secrets.. I'm not sure if it's the OCD speaking or not. There's many people here who will say that I need to sit with the OCD but it's been about three days and I still feel like I should tell him. Once again, to be honest and respectful of his boundaries. I can't imagine keeping secrets from him, especially if I broke a boundary.. I just honestly don't know what to do because people are saying I didn't flirt and that this isn't flirty behavior but I genuinely feel like it is. Thanks!

I’m a college student and have been in a serious relationship (wlw) for 6 months and it’s going really great. We both have pretty severe ocd but are both medicated and in therapy but summer is hard for both of us. She doesn’t like being at home and is working at a summer camp and I also don’t like being home but have a part time job and working on a certification so I’ll be busy, and I’ll be out of town for 2 weeks in a few weeks. I have had really bad separation anxiety from my mom for years and college finally made me not have that issue anymore, but now I feel the same feelings of being scared when I was away from my mom when I’m away from my partner. We have very open communication and will be able to talk pretty much everyday and see each other once or twice a week, but I feel the dread I felt when I was away from my mom. Summer is always really hard for me but I’m trying to shift my thinking but I’m also scared for my partner that she is going to have a hard time this summer and all the “what ifs” start rolling like crazy. It feels really hard and scary not seeing her everyday like I did in college. It’s only a few months and then we will be back but my brain keeps telling me something bad is doomed to happen or that she won’t want to call or text me or that I won’t be able to handle being away from her. I’m able to push away the compulsions to check on her all the time but my brain is just going crazy even though I’ve been back from college for not even a day. I just want to feel good and for her to feel good but I’m scared she won’t need me or that she will be too busy to talk or she will only want to see her friends and not me. I’m trying to sit with the discomfort of not knowing the future and understanding that I’ve felt this feeling before and everything turned out ok. I just preemptively miss her and just feel really sad and scared. I feel like I’m going to mess things up. I can’t get reassurance because that’s not helpful but has anyone experienced something like this? I just want everything and everyone to be ok

Did anyone else notice their thoughts/symptoms worsening after you got diagnosed? For me, it’s like, once I learned OCD can latch onto anything, I’m now having intrusive thoughts about everything. Whereas before, I only them about work. Idk I feel like I’ve regressed and am now even more anxious.

This is a scare that happens a LOT for me but this time is easily the time that I'm most convinced. I was looking for videos pertaining to my fetish (not illegal, just don't want to talk about it) and I ended up on some weird sites. Ads for specific cam girls that looked kinda young. I decided I was getting tired of the urges to click on those and my brain telling me I liked it and just decided to go to pornhub. After all, biggest porn site in the world, surely their moderation is good? Well, after scrolling for a bit while looking for some basic, vanilla stuff, I stumble across a thumbnail of someone who, while I don't think they're a child, is definitely there to be a stand in for one. I immediately panicked and scrolled away. Then IMMEDIATELY after that, there's this video thumbnail in a language I don't speak, camera pointed right at the legs of two people, one of them very clearly an older male, and the other person looked STARTLINGLY young. Like, to the point where I'm genuinely convinced that if no other time I've panicked about it was the real thing, this would be. I'm freaking out. Part of me feels like I have to go back and look just to verify if that's what it is, but I know for a fact this will just make it worse. I already struggle with feeling like I want to watch this stuff. I don't know what to do about this.

This is a repost for two posts I had, in hopes it would help someone. ----------- Sometimes the fear you feel doesn’t come from anything real in front of you. It comes from a thought, just a thought. A “what if,” a mental image, a possibility your mind throws at you like a false alarm. But your brain doesn’t always treat it as hypothetical. It reacts as if it’s real. That’s because your brain is running an ancient survival system, the same one that kept our ancestors alive. The moment an intrusive thought appears, your brain can hit the fight-or-flight button. Heart rate rises. Anxiety spikes. Urgency floods in. It’s not reasoning, it’s reacting. And then comes the next step: compulsions. Compulsions are like the brain’s attempt to “do something” about the danger. But it’s a bit like an ostrich sticking its head in the sand, hoping that if it can’t see the threat, the threat disappears. The relief feels real, but it’s temporary, and it teaches the brain that the danger was real all along. So the loop continues. When intrusive thoughts hit and that whole chain reaction starts, fear, doubt, urgency, maybe even the urge to isolate, pause for a moment and reframe what’s happening. This isn’t “you” failing. This is your brain, an overprotective, slightly confused ape brain, trying to keep you safe. It doesn’t understand that the danger is imaginary. It just knows: “Something feels wrong. Act now.” You can acknowledge that. “Thanks, brain. I see what you’re trying to do.” And then gently choose not to follow it. Not by arguing with the thought. Not by solving it. Not by neutralizing it. But by moving. To move means to DO something real. Something physical. Something purposeful. Even something small. Because action breaks the illusion in a way thinking never will. If your brain is stuck in a simulation of danger, the way out is not deeper analysis, it’s re-engaging with reality. Think of it like this: your brain is pulling a fire alarm because it saw steam from a shower. You don’t need to redesign the alarm system in that moment, you just need to calmly continue your day and let the system settle. The goal isn’t to have no thoughts. The goal is to stop treating every thought like a command. Ape Brain (2) ---- Sometimes we ask: why do these intrusive thoughts even show up? One common trigger is poor or irregular sleep, when your brain doesn’t get proper rest, this whole process becomes noisier and harder to regulate. Here’s one way to look at it. It might be that your brain, especially during sleep, is constantly sorting through memories, thoughts, and experiences, like a daily cleanup of a cluttered closet. Imagine a maid assigned to go through dusty boxes. She doesn’t know what’s valuable and what’s junk. Her job is simple, open each box, show you what’s inside, and wait for your reaction. That “showing” is what you experience as thoughts, not intrusive yet. Now the key part: your reaction is the decision. If your awareness sees the content and stays neutral, no panic, no deep analysis, the maid gets the signal: “Not important.” The box can be recycled for new memory. But if you react, analyze, worry, replay, perform compulsions, especially when the content touches something meaningful to you, the maid gets a different signal: “This must be important. Keep it.” Do that repeatedly, and you end up keeping everything!!! That’s where the problem starts. It’s like memory hoarding. Your system gets overloaded, but it still needs space for new experiences. So the brain keeps bringing boxes back again… and again… hoping you’ll finally let them go. Here you have it, the "intrusive" part of the thoughts. So how do you deal with this cycle? By changing how you respond, not what shows up. When a thought appears, ask yourself: - Is this actually under my control to fix directly? (Not through rituals or mental loops, but real control.) - Can I realistically reach complete certainty about this “what if”? Most of the time, the answer is no. So treat the thought as “FYI”—just information passing through. Then shift quickly into action. Not more thinking, doing. Something physical, something useful. Walk, read, work, study, even something simple like moving your body differently. Action pulls energy away from rumination. It tells the brain: “This isn’t important.” And over time, the maid learns what to recycle. Knowledge here is power. The more you understand what’s happening, the less helpless you become in front of it. You still have control, not over stopping the thoughts, but over how you respond to them. And that’s the part that matters. It’s not about eliminating thoughts; it’s about no longer treating each one as a command, but simply as information passing by.

As someone who spent most of my life WITHOUT OCD, but now having OCD for over 10 years, I am extremely bitter at the entire situation. I want to go back to before OCD happened. And I distinctly remember when it switched "on." And since then, it's been a living f'n hell. "Why me" Frustrated with God for allowing this I see no silver lining, just more and more damage and depletion It's robbed me of so much Why can't I have a normal life and brain etc Why can't I just have 'real world' problems. This isn't even based on 'real world' stuff!!! OCD isn't from the lack of trying to fix it. If anything, it's from trying to fix something too much!! It's not mental laziness or weakness, it's the opposite. It's always on 24/7. It doesn't matter where you go. This is a neuro-biological thing. This is so unfair. I just want to live my damn life in peace and with peace of mind. I'm just bitter. That's the end result. There is no happy ending. This isn't a movie. You get 1 life and if you have OCD it makes it 100x worse. I'm sorry, but I've had this crap long enough where I just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's ruined my life and my outlook on the future. Who cares if I win the lottery or have $100 million dollars, I can't even enjoy it while having OCD. I speak from the future, and the end result is bitterness, sorrow, and anger. Or at least that's how it's gone down for my situation. /rant

18+ UPDATE 2: well... I lost my girlfriend... my job... and my social life in the span of 2 months... just life has been hitting me with left and rights... I feel... lost... UPDATE: This is my first post of the day so please take that context in mind... I'm genuinely feel so triggered and anxious... I'm gonna go to sleep right now, but I genuinely dont think I'll be able to ever be able to look my friends and family in the eye if this is true... ive been holding in the compulsions today all day... but right now its genuinely terrifying me... i have a girlfriend now (over 2 months) and i dont want to lose her... she's kind, and lovely, and the one I wanna marry one day... but then I look at myself... and my past... and I genuinely don't think I deserve her... Oh dear god... I dont know... but I think my worst fears came true... I think I unknowingly ERP'ed with a minor on an 18+ discord server 5 years ago... they currently are on Astralspiff's discord, having been there since 2023, and have switched their username, with a chicken emoji as their bio... they also switched their profile picture from Nana Osaki to a fan art of Kasame Teto... its making me think that these three things are certainties that she was a minor on the 18+ sexual server... and that I ERP'ed with her not knowing this... Im genuinely feeling shocked and sick to my stomach right now... they don't have their age listed on discord or anything, but they joined 5 years ago and it was 4 years ago that we ERP'ed... god I feel disgusted and horrified right now... someone talk to me... please.... in the past, I have been catfished by a man pretending to be a woman, had a minor on a dating app who lied about her age and i unknowingly flirted with her because I assumed she was 18+ and her bio said so, and sent an 18+ pic to a "woman" online who now I suspect of being a catfish... this is the reason why I'm so scared of whether or not I unknowingly inappropriately chatted with a minor without knowing... it genuinely scares me... Its making me think that I unknowingly inappropriately chatted with a minor in the past without knowing and it genuinely triggers me... I have tried to go back through most 18+ online interactions ive had with women online to make sure they didnt lie or they confirmed their age... i have two situations on discord that trigger me that ive posted about in the past... and a couple have deleted their discords so thats triggering me really bad... most who deleted their discords were verified but still... why delete your discord, you know...? for context i was on 18+ explicit discord servers meant for sex that you cant just join regularly on iPhone due to it being for adults only... Ive also been to a website dedicated to adult 18+ literature... they also have an 18+ chat room where you can talk to other users... i know ive made stupid mistakes going on here... i wont deny that... and now im paying for it with the uncertainty... veterans of the site, who have been on there for over 9 years, have told me that the chances of a minor lying about their age and coming onto the chat portion of the website are rare... but it still triggers me all the same... Im scared of someone one day in the future accusing me of doing horrible things like unknowingly inappropriately messaging minors, or have my worst fears of unknowingly explicitly messaging a minor confirmed to have happened and I didnt know about it... i genuinely just feel hopeless... And its all my fault... All of it...

I will start this by saying I KNOWWW I shouldn't confess as it's a compulsion- but how do I know when confessing is being communicative and honest? I don't have a habit to confess- I'm able to handle my instrusive thoughts and spirals privately without telling my boyfriend but recently something happened that I feel like I need to share with him. I was racing a car to be playful and because I felt attractive and powerful doing so- I didn't know who was in the car or what they looked like, not even their gender- I just saw a black car in my peripheral and started racing it a little. While doing so I didn't think much of it and just felt like it was fun and I felt attractive (I don't know why but I like to feel that people perceive me as attractive while I drive), then a second later I was like "wait am I flirting?", so I stopped trying to race the car immediately. I pulled up next to the car at a light and realized it was a man, which sent me into a spiral. I've been thinking about it nonstop and I've felt incredibly guilty. I will say that in the beginning of our relationship I got into some trouble because I flirted with someone while drunk. I told my boyfriend about it and he was upset, but forgave me and we moved on. I think ROCD latched onto that and ever since then I've worried that every interaction I have with a man is flirting. I feel like I should confess to my boyfriend out of respect because I am unsure if it was flirting or not. I know I shouldn't because I'm not 100% sure and will make him confused, but I'd rather be open and honest than keep a secret from him. Because I DID want to be perceived as cool and attractive by racing that car, even if I hadn't seen who was in it (for all I know it could've been an old person or something).. Flirty behavior or attention seeking..? It just feels like I flirted and I've fully convinced myself I flirted and that I NEED to tell my boyfriend. I think about him and think about how I'm hiding things and keeping secrets.. I'm not sure if it's the OCD speaking or not. There's many people here who will say that I need to sit with the OCD but it's been about three days and I still feel like I should tell him. Once again, to be honest and respectful of his boundaries. I can't imagine keeping secrets from him, especially if I broke a boundary.. I just honestly don't know what to do because people are saying I didn't flirt and that this isn't flirty behavior but I genuinely feel like it is. Thanks!

I am completely exhausted and terrified. My mind feels like it is trapped in a 24/7 courtroom where I am constantly being forced to defend who I am.Random images and thoughts of being with a girl keep popping into my head out of nowhere. The second they appear, they trigger an instantaneous physical sensation in my body that feels so terrifyingly real for a split second that I instantly panic. It scares me so deeply because it feels like it was really me for that one millisecond. I feel this overwhelming urgency to figure it out right now. I get trapped in these intense mental tests. I force myself to ask, 'Do you like girls? Do you like girls?' and I try as hard as I can to imagine it. When I can't imagine it, I try again and again. Sometimes when I'm thinking of my boyfriend, his image suddenly flips and turns into a girl in my head. As soon as that replay happens, I hit pure panic, and I feel forced to replay the thought over and over to try and fix it or make it look right.During these spikes, I start mentally 'holding onto' the terrifying feelings. I dissect, replay, and analyze them to test my exact reaction, over and over, until my brain goes completely numb and the thoughts feel fake. My head gets so exhausted that it feels like an 'airhead'—like I've run a marathon and physically can't overthink anymore. But then the adrenaline floods back, the empty head fills up with random, weird 'movies,' and my body starts reacting negatively all over again. I am constantly triggered by things I see or read online. I read a story about someone else's sexuality changing, or someone leaves a comment telling me that they used to be confused just like me, and my heart instantly starts racing. My OCD takes their stories and tells me it's my destiny. I find myself digging into my own past memories—like the time I looked at a girl's boobs just to compare them to mine—and I desperately analyze it, wondering, 'What if that was a sign? What if I secretly don't love my boyfriend? What if I'm secretly gay without knowing it?'The truth is, I don't want to date a girl. I am terrified of that happening. I love my boyfriend, but I am so scared that people change over time, or that he will leave me in seven years, or that my whole identity will switch when I go to college. I am so desperately searching for a 100% guarantee that everything will be okay, but the harder I look for it, the more confused I get

Is OCD a choice? My mom says that to me frequently. She doesn't understand the torment OCD causes. I guess in a way, compulsions are choices. Obsessions are not.

I’ve been wrestlingggggg with my OCD lately as I’ve shared here before. I just keep finding myself asking “whyyyyy? WHY does this even exist? Why does MY brain work this way and not other people? Why is OCD even a thing??” I’ve had months and even years of being totally fine & as I’ve mention previously it just came back out of no where. Then i begin to question if I even have it & if and I’m just crazy. LOLLL this was a lot of rambling - not sure if anyone else can relate to this Edit: mine is pretty much textbook pure OCD!

At this time in night the thought get high i start to feel scared and worried all i want someone to tell me its okay even tho i am always strong these days i feel so weak i hope the lord will cure me i believe one day i will be okay and my mind will be in peace

So the other day I was driving and started racing a car trying to be playful and cool. I had no idea who was in the car until I pulled up next to them at a stoplight and realized it was a man. I started to spiral because I felt as if I flirted by trying to seem cool and attractive and badass by racing- even if I didn't know who was in the car.. I know it'd be very different if it was a woman in the car, but I can't help but spiral snd feel HORRIBLE. I've came to the realization too that I like getting attention- I like to feel sexy, attractive, cool- not because I'm seeking out someone or anything in particular, but because I LIKE feeling like people find me attractive. When I drive and have the window down, I try to look cool and have my sunglasses on, music blasting, I feel sexy, I feel like other people find me sexy. Again, not because I want them to ask for my number or anything, but to look and to notice. I feel horrible about it because it makes me feel like these actions are technically flirting.. That by racing this car I was flirting even though, again, I had no idea who the person was in it or their gender until I pulled up next to them. I just feel like I shouldn't want to feel like I like when people are attracted to me, afterall, I'm in a relationship and the only persons opinion who really matters is my boyfriends... I've been thinking about confessing but I know it wouldn't make any sense.. Trying to tell my boyfriend I feel like I flirted by racing a little with a black car- which I happened to notice after the fact had a man in it, which made me spiral. The more I think about confessing the more I think about all the possibilities.. Him breaking up with me (which I don't think he'd do), him being disappointed, him moving on, him being tired of my bullshit.. Ever since we started dating I've been scared to dress up in public because I felt like I was trying to attract attention.. I started to dress up as exposure therapy and stuff but now it seems to have thrown me into a spiral because I LIKE feeling good about myself and I LIKE knowing that other people might find me attractive. I don't really know what to do but its been about two days and I haven't stopped spiraling. I feel like I'm being so secretive and that I'm hiding things from him.. I keep trying to tell myself that I've hid stuff from him in the past when it comes to ROCD but I don't really care about that because all of this right now feels too real. I DO like the attention. I feel like I shouldn't like the attention and I know it comes from a place of deep insecurity. I spoke with my therapist briefly about it and she said that it sounds like the OCD is speaking but I've like fully convinced myself I'm in the wrong entirely and that I need to tell my boyfriend or else I'll hide with this guilt for the rest of my life and be a terrible partner. Tldr: I feel bad for liking attention and feeling attractive to other people.. This was all triggered by me feeling as if I was flirting by racing a car which belonged to someone of a mystery gender, until I pulled up and realized it was a man, which sent me into a spiral. I know if it was a woman I would be fine. But because it was a man I feel like I flirted. I understand that reassurance and confession are not healthy but I feel as if this is something I NEED to confess, even though it'll probably just confuse my boyfriend and upset him. Because I truly don't want anyone other than him and I love him with all of my heart.. He knows I have ROCD and I've confessed in the past about my instrusive thoughs, but this feels like more.

Does anyone think everything is idolatry or everything is a sin and everything you enjoy is God telling you it’s wrong. Cuz sometimes my brain will be like oh if you go… then I go and try to overcome the compulsion to cancel or whatever it is. But then if I don’t go and I have anxiety then maybe I’m supposed to not cuz I’m denying my flesh by suffering for that. Then I’ll see a post online abt the same fear I was worried abt that I ignored and maybe it was a conviction. Then when I take a breather and just try not to think abt it and feel fine I’m like oh I’m being complacent in my faith and not following what God wants or I will frantically read the Bible I try to read it everyday but then if I don’t understand it as deep as other people who actually STUDY it am I even learning. Like I feel like I’m supposed to give up everythinggg If I love the Lord. And I try and ask him all my compulsions and what if thoughts but maybe I’m just ignoring everything he’s telling me. Cuz everytime I read the Bible I spiral unless it’s soothing but we shouldn’t just want the Good stuff but then when I feel convicted I’m like oh that’s good I def need to work on that or I’ll spiral down the rabbit hole over again abt salvation then Gods gonna be like oh you didn’t trust me. And what if I’m not truly being transformed or change or have never felt it but think about God everyday and I know he’s not a set of rules but feel SO MUCH pressure. But life isn’t supposed to be easy and we should deny ourselves if we want to follow him. And I’m just making excuses. And maybe he’s telling me to give everything up cuz I care too much abt material things. Then I’ll get in a really deep spiritual slump and I’m like why can I discern these real things and see that from a biblical lense and struggle so much with knowing the truth and then not wanting to deal with it. I’m like it must be a sign or a warning I’m supposed to do something For God. And that I should be farther along in my walk with Christ but I’m not doing anything to step boldly in faith and not telling people about Jesus and what if my what if thoughts are true and I can’t sit in uncertainty about Christianity. Other things yeah but not Jesus

I hope this doesn’t trigger anyone else but I will be talking questioning your own ocd diagnosis Lately, I feel as though my ocd has been getting better! I have weekly therapy sessions and am on a dose of meds that I feel really help to alleviate certain symptoms. Because of this, I have started questioning whether or not I ever had ocd in the first place. I feel like a liar or a fraud. I deal with a lot of pure o ocd and I feel like a lot of symptoms can coincide with generalized anxiety disorder. I feel I might have both, but what if I was wrong about having ocd entirely? This really scares me, as I found a lot of recovery after learning about ocd, erp, and also from the community of others that feel and go through similar circumstances as I do. If I don’t actually have ocd I feel like I’ll lose all that. There’s another part of me that truly believes I have ocd. My ocd specialized therapist even told me I did, and personalizes my treatment accordingly, but what if she was wrong or I just didn’t explain my situation well enough. I feel like I oftentimes experience both obsessions and compulsions according to the different subtypes of my obsessions, but what if I gave myself ocd in believing that I had it? Like I was so convinced I had ocd that I actually gave myself some symptoms of it. What if this whole time it has just been generalized anxiety? Does anyone else have thoughts like these and how do I use treatment to combat it?

And the OCD can't touch them. I don't go back and rethink. I don't double check. I don't ruminate about them. My decisions are already made, and they help me go forward into freedom. But I will admit--my FEELINGS aren't always in line. Sometimes the FEELINGS are the hardest part of OCD. So we have to keep practicing going forward with our DECISIONS, even if our feelings tell us that doom and gloom is upon us. (Lol:) This is how we deal with OCD.

I have weird ocd ideas about my religious like i should do smth multiple times to feel not stressed or pray more than once or clean some of the statues or kiss them if i dont i am not good enough or smth bad will happen i feel so stressed

I’m young and am struggling with SO OCD, I’m straight but my thoughts keep trying to tell me I’m not, and are trying to tell me I’m a lesbian. The feelings I get when that happens are: panic, icky, scared, anxious, and really quite down. It ruins my day, it takes away my opportunities to be able to go out and enjoy life, it consumes me. Is there anyone on here that can give me some advice that they used to really help? I’ve heard, “your thoughts scare you so much because it’s not who you are” but then my intrusive thoughts come back and say “but that’s wrong, it is who you are” I cannot win