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Hey everyone, I’m having a real rough go of it at the moment. I’m not even sure if this is ocd related, but I definitely need some advice. I’ve been with my bf for 5 months. He is amazing, supportive, and I just really love him. This is my first long term relationship, so it’s come with challenges, including some really intense relationship anxiety. He’s got a good deal of female friends, which I’m fine with. I don’t mind him talking about his female friends at all. I feel like he often brings up this one girl in conversation. Like it’s not every time, but it’s enough that I think he’s fond of her as a friend. However, I’ve developed this pretty intense fear that he likes her. Like isn’t there some sort of saying that if someone talks about someone alot, they like them?? She dates his best friend/roommate. He seems fine with them dating and is happy for them. I don’t really know exactly why I am worried, but this definitely makes me feel insecure. I am remember him telling me at the beginning of the relationship that his friends figured out that he liked me so much because he talked about me alot. So I guess my mind sort of connects the dots to her, thinking that because he sometimes will bring her up, for sometimes what I believe, for no good reason. And I’ll say that it’s not like there isn’t reason, and it’s completely random, I just feel like I’m convincing myself that it’s a concern. I also hyperanalyze their interactions when he’s around her. Like he likes to joke with her and stuff like that. It does make me feel insecure, even though I have guy friends that I’m super fond of and joke with a good deal (very hypocritical of me). I’m just very confused. I don’t want to be stupid and blind and disregard this, so I guess that that is the grand fear, but I also tend to over analyze, over think, and think the absolute worse, sooooo I

Does anyone else’s false memory intrusive thoughts of what could have happened feel very, very real?

Hello! What a journey this ocd thing is! After 17 years with one therapist, I knew I was no longer making progress, so I changed to a new therapist. After just 6 months with her, she suggested I might have ocd and to look into getting diagnosed. She was right and I was diagnosed with ocd last summer. Meds are making a big difference but I still have lots of unlearning and re-learning to do. I’ve been struggling with whether or not to switch to a therapist who specializes in ocd. I have no issues with my current therapist, but she doesn’t specialize in ocd and I sometimes think I need someone who does specialize in it. But of course, I have Pure O, so I can think myself in circles til the cows come home. Can anyone share experience about switching to a therapist who specializes in ocd?

This is not meant to fend anyone- rather your religious or not- somewhere in the middle-ect just expressing how I I feel.. I haven’t been to church since I was like… 13 years old… I’m now 34. I was raised Christian. My dad was the one who encouraged Christianity/church as a kid but he also is the person who sexually and verbally abused me, he also was an alcoholic and crack addict/drug addict. Not saying people with severe substance issues can’t be religious HOWEVER as a child he hurt me, over and over and over again. Once him and my mom split up I stopped going to church cuz I rebelled and felt like he only went to church to hide the truth of who he was. It’s just how i felt. I don’t know know truth and want know the truth becuase he died 2 years ago. The truth wouldn’t matter anyways. I’m also bisexual, and don’t beleive some of the (in my opinion) hateful judgmental things I see spread by certain religions, i do get religion is a spectrum tho. Long story to say, my 11 year old daughter has many friends who go to this specific christian church, and I agreeed to sign her up for a summer basketball team the church offers- only because the schedule worked for us and she knows kids in the program. She’s been asking to go to a few Sunday services in order to get to know the ppl /kids more so when she starts basketball she will know some ppl. So today, I’m going to church for the first time , I feel weird about it due to my past. I am not anti religion, I believe in being a good person and if god is real he will see that and that’s what matters. But church brings up trauma for me in ways. Anyone ever deal with this? Words of advice? I want to let my daughter choose her own path and explore religion if she chooses too so I am trying to support her, I’m just scared to go and feel judged cuz I literally have pink hair, piercings, tattoos, don’t agree w some extreme values ect. Idk compulsion a lot this am and heart is racing .

hey guys, i’m almost fully healed in my socd journey but what’s stopping me is the false atractions. i get them almost 24/7 at this point and to every thing. they feel real and i hate them they make me feel disgusted. they also make me feel like hot and gross but then i see people saying thats what attractions feel like, but i have felt so much attraction to the opposite gender pre all of this and it felt nice and enjoyable not digustinf. i’m also getting false memory trying to show me ‘signal’ from my childhood to prove i’m gay amd i truly don’t know if they’re real. it’s so degrading and at this point i feel like govining up. pelesse if you have any advice or even if your going through the same thing just let me know. ocd is so terrible

Just gonna vent, this never happened to me before during my 20 years alive. Whether it is POCD or not, I have truly lost my sense of self and my innocence. Why of all things did this have to happen. Ive been experiencing more strong groinal responses and mixed feelings of arousal regarding specific thoughts. Its so odd, cause last month none of this happened, it was mainly just anxiety and mental breakdowns. Never did I think I would experience physical sensations as well. Acting on compulsions as well left me feeling absolute confusion, Ive stopped doing that but now I get the urge here and there, and Ive learned to sit with the discomfort. All this leaves me with more questions on whether I will truly get through this or not, or if people will understand my situation. On certain days I feel fine, on other days its sheer terror. I blame myself mainly for this all, It is scary as these images, causing both arousal and terror, only result in me feeling like a shell of my former self

I’ll preface by saying he’s a brutally honest guy who doesn’t feel like there’s anything wrong with being honest. But um… yeah. He says I concentrate on the bad too much instead of all the good. I said I feel the bad is still there lingering during the good. He doesn’t compliment me like my previous boyfriends have unless I’m absolutely dressed to the nines, and even then, I can barely get it out of him. I’m a few years older than him. The other day, I asked him if he is sacrificing being with his type to be with me, and without missing a beat, he said “yes.” Basically, his type would be skinnier, younger, hotter than me (shocker, I know). I showed him a photo of myself that I liked, and he said “meh.” I tried to be confident and said, “well, I know it’s good, and that’s all that matters.” He asked what I liked about it, and I said my cheekbones looked good. He said he “only saw cheeks.” I said, “yeah… kinda hard to see cheekbones without seeing the cheeks…” He then proceeded to poke at my face/double chin, and when I asked what he’s doing, he said, “Trying to find the bones.” In the same convo, he said he hasn’t wanted to sleep with me because of my weight. Said he wishes he could see my waist more. I’m 10 pounds heavier than I was when we met, and that’s nothing. He’s gained way more in this relationship, but I don’t give him shit about it. He says “well maybe you should.” But I’m not gonna go insulting him just because he insults me. When I tell him it makes me feel bad, he says, “well I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, so…” Anyway, I know it’s not just ROCD. I deserve better than this. But ROCD still makes me question myself. Mad af at him ngl

I was diagnosed with OCD and I started Prozac 10 days ago. I have struggled with intrusive taboo sexual thoughts for 12+ years (I’m 24) but now I feel like it’s turning into feelings. I’ve never done anything to anyone or nor do I wish to ever. I am just scared of my own brain if this is something I actually want. My psychiatrist said I should feel better/start getting clarity after 2 weeks. But I keep feeling worse and worse. Anyone else has experience with Prozac and how it went for them?

"The themes don't matter, it's the OCD that's the real culprit!" I don't buy that. How's that? I didn't have this crap until the real event themes came along. I wasn't born with OCD, I didn't have it from a young age, etc. This was learned, this was real event theme triggered, this was a bad habit that kept on on going and never died, the frequency just picked up and now it's a daily hell. This wasn't happening before the actual themes. Which makes sense. It's a result of being "stuck" in a cycle of guilt, shame, and constant cognitive challenges to "deal" with past deeds. I've very skeptical of any future solution. The fact that there doesn't seem to be any permanent solution for real event OCD is defeating and depressing. I don't know how people "beat OCD" without some level of delusion mindset or baked out of their mind in medication. Doesn't seem to be a holistic or real solution to this. Just more of the same hellish routines. I'm just very pessimistic, it's been years. Where is the hope. Sick of being stuck like this.

Has anyone tried medication to help with your thoughts? Did that work? I truly just feel like therapy wouldn’t help me like I need and am seriously considering medication because I feel like I’m going insane

TW I am so utterly broken. I feel like my heart is shattered to pieces, within the span of a month I have lost someone that was like a second mother to me and someone who just passed away that was my closest connection to my great grandmother. I am having very taboo thoughts (as well as physical responses) surrounding death because of OCD, while also carrying such a massive weight of grief. Idk if taboo thoughts with death are even normal, while it is overwhelming me, I’m also so numb to grief at this point. Can anyone please give some kind of advice on how I may improve my mental health without overwhelming my family during their time of grief? I’m so tired of being strong, but right now I absolutely have to be. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Any one else deal with this? Like from the moment they wake up to the second they fall asleep, the intrusive thoughts are there?

This is just a vent. Feels nice to just be honest about who I am and my deficiencies. Mental health advocates are always like "you deserve to live no matter what" and I'm like "bet lol" I am not a good person whose presence has any positive impact on the world. I'm not evil, just useless without having the excuse of depression or whatever (it's anxiety based but again who gives a shit). If I were to go away, I wouldn't be missed because I contribute nothing of note. If we did not live in the US where you can get by without being socially accepted as long as you have loving parents, I would either be dead or would have stepped up and might actually be a valuable member of society (like between being dead and pushing through my anxiety I would probably choose the latter lol). Interpersonally, I have no redeeming qualities. No I'm not one of those people who says that shit and then lists all the ways they're actually decent but just have low self-esteem, I'm genuinely useless. I'm unreliable when it comes to group projects and my job, usually doing the bare minimum or less than that. When it comes to my work in general, I tend to drop the ball, often waiting till the last minute to get started on it, turning it in late, or simply not turning it in at all. I make promises about the things I will do and then don't do them. I also lack initiative and just follow orders. Socially, I don't have any friends and don't make an effort to try to gain any - I tend to act distant in social interactions and don't join in when people are having group conversations. I'm a talented artist, but the only work I've ever shown others in the last few years has been shoddy, amateurish, and completely unreflective of my abilities, and I've never been complimented for it lol. How do I feel about all this? Pretty freaking bad, yet I make no effort to change. I'm afraid of most things so I avoid them, screwing up my own life and negatively affecting other people's as well. Despite all this, I have this desire to be accepted by someone else as I am. The fact that I accept myself shows that it's possible, I guess (you could argue that I don't have a choice but I definitely chose to be okay with myself after years of self-loathing). I have a shit-ton of flaws and nothing to really offset them - I mean I'm self-aware but I think self-awareness is completely useless if you don't do anything about what you've observed in yourself, and less self-aware people are able to take more risks - and I just have this fantasy of someone showing up and looking at all that I am and being like "you have contributed literally nothing to society and you have no redeeming qualities but I accept you as you are and love you, for no reason other than I just do." But based on the comics I've read this can only happen if you're childhood friends who've known each other for a long time lol. No reason someone's gonna want to be friends with some random person who leaves a poor first impression and doesn't do anything to further the relationship. The plus side of this is that I have a /lot/ of room for growth, lots of things to change that could make me a better person. The negative side is that it is still just as hard to not be avoidant af as it was yesterday

How long should I do ERP, so that my brain gets used to it, not to say tired?! I've been working for about three months, but everything still seems vivid in my head, there are even vulgar words in detail... since the sexual topic is both a groinal and a feeling that I want to touch myself. It's mostly related to faces and genitals, so how exactly can that go, if it's emphasized that sex pictures in themselves give that feeling, whoever is in them?

I love horror movies and would watch them random sometimes even Terrifier cause art is my new favorite character. I just felt like I was a bad person for this⁉️ I don’t support his actions but I like his goofy faces he makes. I can’t enjoy anything no more Literally me rn in life

I have been ruminating on why I have been having intrusive thoughts on a specific topic. Anyone know why? Where do they come from? It freaks me out and makes me think that it came from a real memory (I struggle with false memory OCD)

hi peeps today i found out i have mono, and for someone with contamination ocd that sucks even more than usual. am i really supposed to be worried about who i might infect for the indefinite future? and the fact that i wont know for weeks if i got anyone sick? and i’ve got a big trip with my family planned in a couple of weeks and im worried that one of my family members is gonna end up having symptoms before we go. has anyone else ever been in a similar situation? how did u deal with it without missing out on everything?

For 3 days I had a feeling that came up pretty often and I cant name it, I dont know what is it and the more i try to see what is it the more i feel worse. Usually letting feeling be and letting yourself experience it helps but not with this. I find myself feel grumpier, triggered and more angry. Its a mix of fear, but then i get angry too and I dont find letting myself experience it helpful cause I just stuck there. It feels like its in my chest and when it gets triggered it makes things hard to enjoy. I tried to be kind with myself and see what causes it but trying to be kind with myself triggers this annoying feeling and it just gets worse... i dont know what helps thats why i ask your help, if you ever experienced this... also i what i almlst forgot to mention, what is really important is that i became really sensitive to every thought, and any thought can trigger this feeling or any thought can trigger a negative feeling that will trigger this feeling. And honestly the "just accept it and let yourself feel what you feel" doesnt helps here cause i find myself really angry that i have to let myself feel the emotions that are triggered by these intrusive thoughts...

Hi everyone, I’m 23 and have been on Zoloft since I was 16. For the past couple months I’ve been having panic attacks more and I’m sick of feeling like a zombie everyday. My boyfriend said I’m very sad and unhappy then when I first met him 2 years ago…. He thinks it’s the medicine. Throughout the years I have upped and lowered my medication, but now, I feel as though it’s not helping. Either it was too much where I didn’t feel emotions at all like very scary stuff or it wasn’t enough to help me. I was given 5mg of Lexapro to try…. I’m scared to take it. All I know is how Zoloft is. I don’t want to go crazy on it, be allergic to it, etc. I feel like I’m going to trip myself out when I take it and not actually feel the difference. I could really use some positive feedback I really just want to be a normal human😭

Does anyone deal with rumination with their childhood past mistakes. Deep down I know I didn’t know any better but then I start having thoughts and it gets worse after that. I also recently have dealt with death in the family, started my period, started college and just moved to my own apartment this last month. :-/ I genuinely just wish I could let go of my past I feel like I could be a better person for myself mentally if I could just let it go.