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Does anyone else feel like the opinions of other Christians matter wayyyy to much to you? My OCD says that if even one other Christian thinks my relationship/ what I’m doing in my life is a sin that God must agree with them and won’t forgive me. I struggle terribly with feeling like I’m not really saved or that I’m still “living in sin” I also get the thoughts like “well if my relationship is a sin I have to repent.” But how are you supposed to repent for loving someone? Also I wanted to ask if anyone else struggles to read their bible because it triggers intrusive thoughts and anxiety? It’s like I’ll read part of the bible and my brain will twist it into something other than what the verse really means. Like if there’s any way my brain could link it to me sinning it will. It’s gotten to the point where I’m scared to read my bible 😢 I love God and His word but it’s so scary sometimes.

hey everyone! it’s me again. hope y’all are doing ok!!! ik most of my post openings sound repetitive but rlly, I’m typing this out every time lolol today I was a bit nervous of how I was gonna perform & I pulled thru! but uh…..the way I did it was something quite new I ended up “talking with Jesus” in my head bc I kept thinking of my dad & was wondering if God exists or not & blah blah all that jazz. well, me “venting” left me feeling ok? like I felt heard idk. now I don’t want anyone to come in to confirm or deny bc I didn’t ask for that. I’m just a lil confused if me doing this was a compulsion to get the thoughts to “stop” or just something I really wanted to think about. prolly the latter but also mix in the first ig even tho I had like a crappy 2-3 hours of sleep last night & only managed to sleep good for the last 30-40 min, me “venting” and thinking of other things helped me pull thru & not sleep & crash lol. I was planning on leaving earlier but the money….I’ve got two kitties plus myself to take care of… I somehow feel a bit more “normal” but idk, I still have to see. I am not confirming nor denying if I believe or not. I dunno. maybe? anywayyyyy, I obviously didn’t eat breakfast bc I woke up like 20 min before I had to leave for work & I didn’t get a chance to go on break & eat bc I had things to do & two people didn’t show up today. which in turn led to me staying over longer. I even ordered my food before the small rush came in & came back to finish my shift an hour later (Ｔ＿Ｔ) I’m currently at home, trying to finish my food but I think I’m full now. idk if I’ve been feeling weird of eating but I managed to eat (I was starving,,,,) & I think usually I am full before I can finish a salad from work now I’m outside with my boy since he kept demanding for him to go out. it’s quite chilly outside. the wind’s blowing & I’m shivering with the sun on me I have to think about whether or not to continue to pursue engineering (I’m barely at precal but struggling) or go a technical route. I don’t wanna do much hw anymore but I also don’t want my dad’s money and my money to waste if I just give up. there’s a math exam tomorrow & tbh I don’t think I’ma pass it. I can try to study today but bc I’ve been sick, the class being fast-paced (which I didn’t notice much upon registering), me having to worry about other classes, this semester being 17 hours with part time work ☠️), plus operating at 2-3 hours of sleep……I don’t know. don’t think I’ma make it, but I can try….. I rlly wanna nap for a bit though….but first, I’ll go ahead and do some house cleaning to keep it nice but also bc I need to start helping around. the depressive episode I’ve been thru for these past years is past me. I don’t wanna be confined to my bed and doomscroll. I’ll help my dad out and learn new things little by little. I wanna be responsible and stronger. I will start to help my parents out instead of lying around doing nothing. it was hard for me then and I want to let them know (both mom & dad) that I’m capable of helping out. I have been trapped in this box of depression for far too long. it’s time for things to change for the better. I will live in the moment. like right now, I’m home alone with my kitties. my girl is sleeping somewhere and my boy is on the edge of the bar. the sun is kissing my skin from the tall windows. I’m going to wash the dishes. not a lot left. I will then fold my dad’s clothes to help him. he’s the money maker & has been so generous of letting both my brother and I live with him for basically free. it’s time for me to grow this somehow turned motivational lololol I was nervous a bit while eating my salad for being alone but I’m not rlly alone! my kitties are here and I can do things around the house instead of dwelling on things that aren’t important anyway, I might post later today. in the meantime, see ya! take care & be kind to yourself. hugs 🫂

Have any of y’all out there just felt like you have no desire to do anything? You know what you should do as far as walking and doing community work and just so many things that you can do to help yourself yet you sit at home and analyze everything. I even analyze my feelings like do I want to sit here and do anything? do I just want to sit here and just give into these feelings? You just don’t have the motivation and then you feel so much guilt and regret for not trying. It’s like you know you feel better when you get out, but you just don’t have the get up and go to get out. It’s hard for me to make myself do the things I should. I know part of it is depression, but can OCD do this to you also or am I just plain lazy? I don’t want to be lazy. I don’t have that desire to be lazy. I want to feel energetic. I want to get out of this being stuck rut. I’ve been in it way too long. I do go to the gym and go out with my girls and go to church and go to different activities that they have but when I’m at home I just don’t want to do the things I should do. A lot of things bother me and that is always on my mind.

How does that even work? I feel like this would be the only OCD theme that is immune to ERP. I've probably had some combo of health OCD, etc. can accept that people have "negative intrusive thoughts" but that doesn't mean they DID the thought. Not to minimize other themes, but things like health OCD, relationship OCD, perfectionism OCD, magical thinking, etc., while very difficult and damaging, from what I understand there there is no "finality" to them. Many of the fears are based on false logic. Many of them may *affect* your Identity and Integrity, but the TRUTH of the fear is not final. This is not the same for Real Event OCD. The Real Event is absolute and factual. There is no "maybe, maybe not" or "don't seek reassurance about what the TRUTH is" because the truth is staring at you in the face. So I don't know how to get past Real Event OCD with ERP with no side effect. What I mean by side effect is anything less of True peace of mind Not Delusion Integrity in tact Identity in tact Maybe there's some type of mindset shift that doesn't sacrifice your integrity or that the "cure" is delusional about the past etc. I don't know what the answer is, and honestly I don't see a lot of info on how ERP actually cures Real Event OCD. A lot of answers I hear are "the past is the past" "forgiveness" "everyone's human" "unconditional self acceptance" These are all nice, but these don't change the stain of whatever the Real Event was.

Has anyone else experienced both POCD and compulsive porn use together? I started watching porn at 11 and used it compulsively for nearly 20 years — sometimes 2-3 times daily. The POCD intrusive thoughts only started recently and came out of nowhere. Before that it was never an issue. What I've also realized is that I've had intrusive thoughts my entire life but never knew what they were called or that they had a name. It wasn't until recently that I discovered OCD and POCD and finally had words for what I've been experiencing. I'm wondering if the long term compulsive porn use could have triggered or contributed to the POCD developing. Has anyone else experienced this pattern where porn addiction came first and POCD appeared later? Or recognized that you'd had intrusive thoughts your whole life without knowing what they were? Would love to hear from people who have navigated both

UPDATE: with my harm ocd hitting full swing... i find myself triggered by my pocd again... and i feel like a horrible person... i tried not to post... i tried to do what people told me... but right now i feel absolutely horrible... I genuinely feel so guilty... I cant handle the anxiety... Im doing horribly right now because I feel so so guilty about this... I have my lovely girlfriend & I wanna be with her for the rest of my life... (shes 22 and I'm 24) I've been dating her for almost 3 months now... and I wanna marry her one day... but right now, I feel like I don't deserve her... especially because of this situation... and its all my fault... Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p3dophilic activity and inappropriately abusing and inappropriately messaging women and minors and abusing others and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... (the 18+ HOCD situations were about 18+ s*xual HOCD situations that triggered me immensely...) When I was 19, in an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... The 14-15 year old said she was uncomfortable the first time and i tried to stop venting to her... after she said i was a bad person because of politics... I vented to her a second time because her saying i was a bad person triggered me... she said she was uncomfortable for the second time and then i blocked her... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... I'm so genuinely triggered... I don't want to be a P or a MAP or a groomer or a bad person... I wanna be a good person who does good things for other people... I dont want to be arrested for any crimes... I just want to be a good person who helps people in the medical field... I only want to help others... the last thing I want is to commit any form of harm towards minors in any way... 😭😭😭

It’s super late, I haven’t been able to fall asleep. I’ve had the same thought on loop for more than a month. It’s prevented me from working. I had this thought 10 years ago and now it’s back 24/7. I can’t focus I can’t have a serious conversation. My words get mixed up when I’m talking. Has anyone been through this? It’s scary. I’m taking medication.

I am Muslim I want to explain a problem. I have been suffering from this issue for about five or six years, especially during Ramadan when I keep fasting. I experience a very strange condition. Even if I want to, I cannot feel happy. I do keep all my fasts, but the problem is that throughout the day while fasting I keep having strange thoughts. Whatever thought comes into my mind feels 100% true to me. I cannot decide by myself whether it is true or not, so I ask other people to confirm it. I get very tired and frustrated from this. I cannot leave the fast, and I also cannot tell this problem to anyone openly. For example, thoughts come to my mind like: “Did I drink water?” or “Did I eat something?” Then I cannot decide, so I ask someone else, “Did I do something like that?” They say, “No, you didn’t do anything.” But still the thought keeps bothering me. At night I also sleep less, and sometimes my heart starts beating fast. If I am sitting somewhere, I start thinking maybe someone secretly gave me something to eat. Then I check the taste in my mouth, and sometimes I even feel a taste similar to what I imagined. Sometimes someone is talking in front of me and I feel as if they said something about me. Occasionally I ask them, and they say no, and sometimes I cannot even ask them. Please tell me some solution to this problem.

I wish I was normal. I wish I didn’t feel the need to hold my breath and close my eyes when I see a child in fear of being attracted to them. I wish I didn’t feel like an assaulter every time I’m intimate with my partner. I wish I didn’t feel like I’m secretly an awful person and hiding something extremely big even though I don’t know what, either that or it’s very minuscule. It is nowhere near as bad as before, at least I don’t vomit or cry or lay all day exhausted. But I’m exhausted in general. I’m not normal, none of this is normal and it’s embarrassing. I know OCD is a very common anxiety disorder but I still feel like the thoughts I have are true. If I think them, it must be true about myself right? And the things I do to “prevent” or gain reassurance makes me feel like I’m just this weirdo that nobody will understand. I feel like a gross and useless monster all the time, and if I feel it all the time, it must be true.

I've been dealing with OCD for a while, and about 3-4 months into my current relationship (we've been together 7 months total), my theme shifted in a really distressing way. What triggered it: My sister jokingly called me "gay" during a phone call. I know it sounds minor, but it sent me spiraling. I started getting intrusive thoughts about my sexual orientation, which then brought up traumatic memories from childhood when I was sexually abused by older boys in my neighborhood. More recently, I was watching an interview to try to cope with and process some of that trauma. The guest mentioned that he was gay but married to a woman, and said he could still orgasm fine with her — and now my OCD has completely latched onto that. It's been feeding my intrusive thoughts and sending me into a new spiral, even though I was just trying to help myself heal. Since then, I've been stuck in this cycle: - Constant intrusive thoughts and "false memories" that feel incredibly real - Severe performance anxiety with my girlfriend - Fear that I'll get flashbacks during intimacy - Ruminating over past experiences (including inappropriate situations when I was 11–12 that I now question endlessly) - I went from being confident in bed to finishing too quickly because I'm completely in my head For context: I was in a 10-year relationship with a woman before this and never had any issues with attraction or performance. I know my orientation — this is 100% OCD intrusive thoughts, not genuine questioning. I'm currently on SSRIs and SARIs plus L-arginine and L-citrulline. The meds helped initially with physical symptoms, but now I feel like my body's adjusted and the anxiety is back in full force. I'm so embarrassed and don't know what to do. Should I: - Find a specific type of therapist? (ERP? Trauma-focused?) - Is this even pure OCD or something else given the real childhood trauma? Has anyone dealt with sexual orientation intrusive thoughts combined with actual childhood trauma? How did you work through it? **Please don't tell me to "explore my sexuality" or suggest I might be gay — I'm asking for help with OCD intrusive thoughts, not questioning my orientation.**

I feel so alone with what I’ve been going through. I am constantly bombarded with thoughts like “what if you’re sinning?” “What if God’s mad at you?” “What if you’re going to hell because of who you’re with?” My OCD latched onto something my fiancé can’t control and I’m constantly worried it’s a sin to be with him. It feels like it’s the only thing I can think about and it’s robbed the joy I used to feel being around him and being intimate with him. My OCD has made me terrified of God and being punished by Him if I make any wrong decision. He’s become this cruel judge constantly looming over me waiting to send me to hell. I feel like He wont love or forgive me until I’m the perfect Christian. I just wish I could see Him the way I did before my OCD. I know it’s OCD because of the compulsions. I started googling things and talking to Chat GPT for hours (even though I don’t like AI) asking the same questions over and over and it only made the constant anxiety worse. I would research and research until I was sobbing on the floor begging God to make it stop. Begging for Him to give me the answers. It feels like there’s a pit in my stomach all of the time. I would research and then pray for hours for Jesus to forgive me for any sin I was committing. I’d see any post about God or sin on social media and it would start a spiral. I’d think “is this about me?” What’s even worse is I started compulsively asking my fiancé for reassurance about if it was a sin to be with him and I almost broke up with him in an OCD episode because I just wanted the pain to stop. And that really hurt him. But I just felt like I needed to do anything to soothe the anxiety. At one point my OCD was even waking me up in the middle of the night and giving me terrible nightmares, and that would start another compulsive prayer and research loop. It’s gotten a little better recently but I know I need help because the thoughts are constant and bring me a lot of pain. I’m suffering everyday and can’t wait to be on some sort of medication to help. I just want to feel normal again. Does anyone else deal with something similar?

I'd prefer if you guys come hear this out, I'm just crowded with many emotions at this current moment. I don't need advice, although not against it, I just want support I'm going through it.. First off, it was my AP science teacher. I have an F currently, and holy I almost began to cry. "She's often distracted (either knocked out or I'm staring into space), has multiple labs missing, etc.." Thank goodness my mom isn't full on english speaker and didn't grasp it too well- otherwise, I won't be here typing this post right now. Afterward, I tried laughing it off with my older sis on text saying: "I almost died lol (+ more said)," but in reality, I genuinely felt really ashamed. Other teachers.. good! Even great. My english teacher even said, "Your daughter is really well spoken. She speaks so articulate, nothing I have ever seen before, higher level than a junior, and has an amazing imagination. It's unreal, and her art? Wonderful." The rest said good things.. but there's a catch. "Buttt.. she needs better time management. She has the smarts but needs to give more. She has SO much potential." She says afterward. Almost every teacher said the exact thing. My math teacher said that I had slow processing, but switching to her class was a great choice since I nearly have 100%. With an overwhelming amount of anxiety surging into my mind, I just trembled and said all sorts of gibberish when they asked me questions, OCD is making me ruminate on each session. I try telling them it's my procrastination, it's a me problem.. etc... (Obviously, I can't say it's my mental issues, or loss of motivation, or severe depressive episodes, etc.), but I feel that my mental health has ruined my overall academic scores. I feel as if I'd be at a higher GPA if it wasn't for the issue. My practice ACT scores were low! I feel like I'd be higher if it wasn't for this idiotic brain. I resent my mental issues, my severe mood swings, my OCD, my procrastination, my depression, my anxiety, and whatever else is wrong with me..!! I hate it; and I feel like no one ever SEES me. It's not my teachers fault they obviously don't know, but it just.. I do TRY! It may not seem like it, but I do! Staying up until 5 in the morning even if it's just to stare at the computer screen attempting to at least finish ONE question, gagging and nearly puking when I have to go to school and yet another assignment is due, skipping lunch and starving myself and berating myself on purpose in order to "hold myself accountable", fantazing of teachers bewilderment to see a sudden spike of my grades in an impossible way, feeling ashamed each time I pass out on my desk from how exhausted I feel, and from doing nothing? Yeah, from first glance, I seem like a careless student. But if you looked into my mind, does that seem like a student who doesn't care? NO!!! It's just, ugh, I want to do great, I want to succeed, but just doing one SIMPLE assignment feels like someone is plucking my brain and eyes out. No, I am not diagnosed. No, I do not have any medication or therapy. Yes, I have tried talking it out, I have tried helping myself out with my own techniques and whatnot. It has consumed my mind, and it has affected my academic performance.. which at this current moment, I am solely a B/C average student, at points even a D.. when I can do so much more.

So sometimes when I’m on Instagram I’ll randomly save things to show people later or I’ll save videos where women feel confident in their bodies because I tend to get really insecure in my own etc. I was going through my saved Instagram posts because I was having such a bad flare up and I came across this one post I saved in 2024 of this girl who was wearing like a purple top that was slightly revealing and she had on a low rise skirt and was belly dancing. She obviously was an only fans creator and the caption on the video said something like “if we were the only two left at the tavern would you stay” i dont know it was so weird and just i was weirded out when i saw it 😭 but I think I saved the video to show my fiancé or my friend and be like look what the heck popped up on my page or either I saved it because even though she is an only fans creator, she was very confident in her body and she felt confident in her body and like a lot of times I’ve saved posts where curvy women will wear outfits and be confident and you can feel the confidence radiating off the screen even if it’s like a video like that and it just makes me feel good and feel better about myself because as a very insecure woman, confidence feels great, but with this certain post it didn’t. I was convinced that I had saved it for the wrong reasons and I was being so disrespectful to my fiancé even though I was weirded out when I saw it in my saved. As a compulsion I had to screen record the comments to make sure I didn’t like any of them and then since there were so many comments my Instagram like shut down and I freaked because I still had to make sure I didn’t like every single comment. Unfortunately, I had to go look up the Instagram page because I was like “I have to find the post. I have to make sure I did not like all 10,000 comments, I have to screen record them to be sure, I have to make sure.” And it was just making me so uncomfortable to scroll through her page because all of her page was just filled with only fans stuff and just so much weird and disgusting things and even that made me feel like I was being disrespectful to my fiancé and I just was like I have to find that certain video because I have to make sure I did not like any of the comments. To some this may seem like not a big deal but to me it is. My fiancé is my world and any post I see dealing with that stuff or even anything it’s like my brain tells me “You have to screen record the comments and make sure you didn’t like them.” Etc. I just know as a woman, I get really insecure in my body, so seeing women who are either my size or who are even bigger than me, be confident in a bikini a crop top or even an outfit that shows a lot of of their body, it’s inspirational to me because it’s like they’re curvier than me and they’re more confident than I am and it’s like you can feel the confidence radiating off the screen, but this certain time really messed with my OCD bad and like it’s just messing with my head making me think I wanted to see this even though I didn’t because I only have eyes for my fiancé. It’s just my OCD convinces me of all this stuff and it’s like it’s so stressful. I know this post is long but I’ve been dealing with this struggle for awhile and I wanted to share and see if anyone else has too, i definitely will be getting a therapist but this theme I have is one of the worst :(

Does anyone else specifically with ROCD build this narrative as to why you cannot be with your bf due to a ton of factors starting from the beginning of the relationship? and now they're personal, like i now am convinced need to heal from all my past patterns before i can be in a relationship. and like honestly that could be true and that terrifies me, because why now?? why do i have to discover that when im with such an awesome guy. my ocd about this relationship genuinely never goes away. like it's 24/7. i find myself wondering if im stupid at this point for pursuing it when i'm in my head constantly, with him or not. i've completely lost myself and i can't make a decision about a job either. the pain this is causing me is unbelievable and it all feels like my fault because if i would just break up with him all of this would be over. it's like i have to do this a specific way (break up, be alone for a long time, find myself) or else i think ill have eternal doubt about who i am with.

So I’ve recently changed my medication and for now it’s seemed to have quieted my urges to ruminate and check old events and stuff. But now my brain tells me that not thinking about these things makes me a bad person and that I’m accepting horrible things that I’ve done.

Any other grown men out there that struggle with this Theme? I feel like am alone on this one being that I’m going through it in my early to mid 30’s. Feel like this is something most people struggle with earlier in life. The loneliness is real 😞

Had another panic attack last night, and it was the one that lasted an hour. That was probably the scariest moment of my life cuz I thought I couldn't calm myself down and needed to go to the hospital. I was starting to lose faith in myself but my family (brother, nephew, and sister) was there for me; and I'm glad my brother made sure not to give in to my compulsive fear and call 911 despite me begging him to. It did happen when I least expected cuz I'm taking a supplement for anxiety, so I thought I would be able to at least avoid having this happened again despite OCD, and I was wrong. It still happened because I was basically facing my fears all day yesterday with the doctor's appointment, to stress about my living situation, to my neck. And I think that panic attack happened as a result of me trying to combat those thoughts by doing the skills I've learned, but I didn't fully believe them because I was too stubborn too, I was too SCARED to. I think this is a lesson to how you gotta learn to trust yourself and to allow yourself to accept the things you can't control; even if the face of your worst case scenario coming true. Idk if this is normal to have a panic attack after trying to do some ERP through stressing moments, but I still manage to make it through somehow. Having another panic attack at MIDNIGHT was probably my worst case scenario, but I got through it! Idk, I still lack a bit of confidence, but despite how messed up this feels, it revealed so many truths now. In a weird way, it helped me understand why I gotta learn to trust myself again. I'm still scared asl, but, weirdly enough, I feel like I got this now

How does everyone try to combat their real event OCD? I keep remembering this certain memory where an old friend of mine from a group years ago who was a guy messaged me on Snapchat last year on Halloween he said something to me. I don’t remember what he said and I responded and I don’t remember what I said, but I do remember that I removed him right after, as well as one other guy, I am pretty sure I remember why I removed them and it was because Im pretty sure I had seen a TikTok or reel or something where this person said you shouldn’t have guys on your snap in a relationship etc, and I had a thought where I was like “I don’t want my fiance seeing these guys that I used to talk to on my snap and think that I’m doing something wrong or anything.” I know I removed them out of respect for our relationship and I remembered because I remembered I had gotten an anxious and nervous because they were still on my snap, but 2 months after I un added that guy off my snap(December 2024) I panicked because I don’t remember what I said or he said and I got worried about what if I flirted, sent a nude or if I said something wrong. I spoke to my fiancé about it and he pretty much reassured me and he told me that if I had actually done something out of that intent, I wouldn’t have told him about it at all, so that helped me and reassured me for a little bit, and then my OCD moved on to another theme for months. Fast forward to now, I remembered the same thing and my thought was “What if I cheated and flirted, sent a nude or even worse? Etc.” And I started freaking out again and I started panicking. I told my fiancé about it again and he reassured me again but recently my OCD has been really bad and every theme I’ve had has caused me to just avoid it just sucks because I can’t go check if I actually said something flirty and I just didn’t realize it because I removed the guy last year right after I talked to him. I hate this ocd theme so much. My fiancé is the best man I have ever met and he is a god sent the last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt him, but ocd constantly convinces me I did and I don’t remember. I know if I genuinely did something like that. I’d remember, but when I try to ruminate and think back to what went down, my OCD will give me like visuals or flashes of me committing the intrusive thought and it just makes everything so much worse has anyone else dealt with this?

I have always been scared of meds incase they don’t work and then it means it’s true. I tried meds in the past and was constantly checking how I was feeling and why I wasn’t feeling better and what that meant. I developed an obsession around meds. For example, I read it often take higher doses and a longer amount of time for meds to work on ocd (up to 3 months and over). Anyway, I started on the lowest dose of citalopram and then I worked my way up to 40, but I kept on changing my doses up and down, as I was scared that it wasn’t working and then at least if it wasn’t working I could blame it on being inconsistent with the doses, opposed to it being “true”. I also stopped all together before reaching 3 months as I was scared that if I went to 3 months or beyond and it still wasn’t working then it would mean it’s true, so if it didn’t work I could blame it on not being on them for long enough and also messing with the doses. It became obsessional and I was scared all the time about them not working and it meaning it’s all real. After I stopped a few months later I started on Sertraline (Zoloft) but would not go above 25mg (smallest dose) as I was scared to go higher incase it didn’t work and then I’d run out of excuses and have to accept its true. 25mg didn’t really do anything, maybe reduced anxiety slightly, but the thoughts stayed the same. I wasn’t on it that long, but I was terrified all the time as to why it wasn’t getting better, but was comforted to know I was only on a small dose so could maybe blame that as the reason, opposed to it being true. Forward a year or so, I went back on Sertraline (Zoloft) 25mg a week ago and the thoughts have been worse and I’m obsessing over what this means and it’s making it feel more real and I’m convinced because meds haven’t worked for me, it means it’s all real. My biggest fear was to go on meds and for it all to still feel true and then me having to accept it’s real, as why would they not work? Admittedly, I haven’t taken them correctly, but I have this deep rooted fear that it’s all real/true and meds not working is more “evidence”. I get obsessional about meds and them not working and it meaning it’s “real”. I feel like the exception. Anyone have any advice?

We’ve been seeing one another a little over a month so it’s early days, jusr had our second date where we booked somewhere for us to stay, however he’s jusr changed his hinge profile pictures. So this probably means he’s talking to other girls? Now this has really freaked me out like what do I do now? This man suffers from ocd, adhd and burnouts and has explained to me several times that if he disappears it’s nothing perosnal but now seeing that I feel slightly like it’s personal. I know I need to ask him what we’re working towards but I’m scared it’s gonna overstimulate him. I’m unsure what to do