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working to conquer OCD
So this morning I woke up with anxiety and started thinking how would my parents and sister react when i tell them I got ocd. I just imagined my sister laughing at me as if I meant nothing. No one believed me. And now I just can't get this image out of my headš it feels lonely
I am a very sensitive person and I have a hard time controlling my emotions which Iāve noticed my whole life but itās seems to have gotten worse when I formed ocd. I was wondering what I could do to not be so sensitive or emotional all the time and if ocd could have something to do with it. Iām actually really tired of people telling me all the time āYouāre overly emotionalā or āyouāre too sensitiveā. Also was wondering if I were to have thicker skin would it be an advantage to helping with ocd and the things it makes me feel like anxiety or depression (which could maybe have something to do with it either). Iām not really asking for reassurance just kind of seeing if maybe anyone has gone through this too and if thereās anything I can do to work on it and get better š
Iāve had nearly every single OCD theme you can think of and most of them are gone. If you have any questions for me, comment below! š
I donāt think Iāll ever be the same after I recover from this. A huge part of me is gone.
Iām scared about how these thoughts have become so real. I am starting to think Iām in denial and itās a matter of time til I have to break up with my boyfriend. This is so hard but Iām trying to keep compassion toward myself. He keeps being the sweet, kind soul he always is and it makes me feel so terrible and guilty. I just want to know I like boys even a little bit so that I can stay with him. Whenever I want to enjoy the moment with him I get the reminder that I like girls so I can never really enjoy the moment. I have no feeling of excitement or anything and I just know I want to let myself be happy with him but thereās always something. Can anyone give me advice on what to do when the thoughts are present during a good moment or when I donāt feel anything/ feel disconnected. Or any advice at all. I donāt want to like girls itāll change everything for me, my whole life will be completely turned around and I donāt want that.
Hey guys at universal theme park with my family and my trigger is attractive women and feeling like seeing them/noticing them is cheating on my fiancĆ© whom I love and really want to be loyal to. I tried doing erp with it but now itās getting to the point where I am depressed and honestly feeling like there is no hope/ $uicidal thoughts. Could really use some help, encouragement, or advice. Iām so exhausted, so upset with myself, and so sick of being scared and worrying about being unfaithful. I just feel like Iām at my wits end here. If thereās a way to encourage without reassurance that would be great!
Anybody else's symptoms get worse the day after drinking alcohol? I find myself in a hole after everytime I go out to try and enjoy myselfš
does this happen to anyone else?!?? my thoughts keep trying to flip everything i read into something so much worse such as if i see a post stating āthinking will not overcome fear but action willā my thoughts will be like āsee it means you need to act on it to feel okay againā like wtf??? everything is literally a trigger with ocd.
Hello, I am a straight girl (as far as I know) but now I am doubting of it. I am not sure this is Sexual Orientation OCD since I am doubting because of something that actually happened. I am going to say something really embarrassing for me so I hope I donāt get ignored. When watching p*rn, I tend to watch lesbian p*rn because it pleasures me the most. And after I did that a few days ago, Iāve starting to doubt of my sexual orientation (and even my identity, since I feel masculine, which i hate). And I have no idea what this is, I donāt want to tell my parents because they will think I am coming out when I am actually not. It is just pure confusion and distress, and a bit of fear and sadness bc I donāt want to be lesbian, donāt get me wrong I am not homophobic. But I just donāt want to, and it feels like denial to me. I have never been attracted to a woman, but somehow I feel like a male, and it really pisses me off, because I do not identify as a man. Iāve been trying to picture myself in my head, with both genders in a sexual context, and I donāt feel anything. I feel really lost please someone help.
thinking about how this is gonna be my life forever breaks my heart. i never in my life wouldāve thought that this was coming my way. this is so heartbreaking and depressing. i was barely getting to live one of my biggest dreams then this hit me out of nowhere. what did i do to deserve this?? is this my karma??š my dreams of being a mom? went downhill because of this. my dreams of being a ultrasound tech? also went downhill. and the list goes on. i just want my life back..
Can anyone please help me š„ŗ
Do you guys really benefit from having people here tell you "yes, I experience that too" sort of things? I see it as quite reassurance-y but I wanted to give benefit of the doubt so I'm just wondering if I'm missing something
Someone please help me Iāve never experienced this before smiling and comfort from saying but Iām not a lesbian Iām not a lesbian Iām not lesbian Iām not! Thereās no might be why is this happening to me what is the say about me
explsure therapy for a few months now, and things are only getting worse?
Hi I have HOCD Since about 5 years now I would say. Iām just seeking for help and a community. The only way I get better is by distracting myself a lot through working or social media. But somethings even social media worsens it too with the rise of lgbtq communities presenting themselves. They make me question sometimes. But I just ignore. After all exposure gets you to slowly move on so itās whatās best.
Hi guys, Iāve been suffering from contamination OCD. Iāve been in contact with a therapist and it has helped me a lot. However, I still sometimes have intrusive thoughts when I go to toilet. I donāt want to waste toilet paper, therefore Iām trying to reduce the number of toilet paper squares I use per each visit of the toilet. When I wipe after urinating, it sometimes happens that the urine gets soaked through all the plies. The last square I hold in my hand therefore gets a bit wet, and I can feel it with my hand. However, no drop of urine gets to my hand, you just feel that your hand is touching a square of toilet paper that is a bit wet (it is the same as when you blow your nose). This sometimes happens to me, even when I use 8 or 9 squares of toilet paper, which is quite a lot. After visiting the toilet, I always wash my hands. I donāt want to seek reassurance from you that the urine canāt spread anywhere else and contaminate other things. I just canāt remember how many squares of toilet paper I was using when I didnāt have to deal with intrusive thoughts. Therefore, I would like to ask all women out there, how you deal with wiping after urinating. Does it ever happen to you that urine gets soaked through all the squares, and you get the wet feeling on your hand? Should I use more squares to make sure that the last ply stays dry, even though 10 or 11 squares is a big waste of toilet paper? I usually have to wipe two or three times to get dry, even though I can use less squares for the second and third wipe (usually 3 or 2) because they donāt get that wet, 11 + 3 + 2 squares of toilet paper would be a lot. Or should I use less squares, donāt care about the wet sensation and wash my hands afterwards? How many squares do you use after urinating? Urine sometimes sprinkles on my inner thighs, etc. Sometimes it happens to me that when I wipe after urinating, I accidentally place my hand on my skin besides the toilet paper because the toilet paper square is smaller than my hand. Therefore, it is probable that a drop of urine could potentially get on my hand. Does it ever happen to you that you accidentally place your finger or hand besides the toilet paper, or should I be more careful when I wipe so that it doesnāt happen to me? Thank you so much :)
My whole entire life Iāve been boy crazy, and I have always always dreamt of having a husband one day and having a family. Thatās all I want. Itās a dream of mine, and I feel like itās being ripped away from me. My OCD makes it seem like thatās not who I am, or that I donāt want that anymore. Itās so hard. I just donāt feel like me anymore. I donāt want to be with a girl, it just doesnāt feel like thatās who I am. I donāt want to marry a girl, itās not what I want. But OCD twists that, why does it feel like I want that sometimes? I hate saying that because I donāt want it. Iām so confused. I donāt want to be with a girl, I want to be happy with my boyfriend. Heās so lovely. I wish these thoughts could go away, I wish I was normal sometimes. I wish I didnāt have OCD! Like a few days ago, I felt confident and I felt okay and I felt hope. And today it just feels like itās back to square one. I feel hopeless, Iām tired, and I just donāt know! Iām so scared Iām just lying, Iām so scared Iām using OCD as an excuse, Iām so scared that these thoughts are true or will become true I just donāt realize it yet. Iām struggling so hard.
Somethings wrong and I feel a lot of guilt right now from something Iām not sure is OCD or real and itās really worrying me. A friend of mine is with someone has a kid and is bi, Iām straight and a Christian. I keep having these thoughts of scenarios of āwhat ifā we ended up together or if really am bi or what if her son becomes mine too and if I hurt people or if I did become bi that people would hate me and that because I had intrusive thoughts about my niece and my friend that they are linked that that if I because bi it would be because of my niece. Iām freaking out. I donāt want to be bi, I donāt want feelings for woman I just want to be normal. Iām not saying itās wrong at all to be bi but for me I donāt want to be. Itās just not the me I want to be. I donāt know if itās ocd or not but it feels so real as if I actually do have feelings for my friend and I really hope thatās not the case š
TW Omg omg omg please help. Itās bad. Really bad. And I canāt go anywhere because Iām at work. It started off because Iām working with a coworker whose lesbian. And so Iāve been ping-ponging back-and-forth arguing with myself. I know Iām hetero I donāt like women like underneath this but something bad happened. First I passed her because you know I work as a dishwasher so thereās a corner where we stack the dishes when theyāre clean and had to pass her and I imagined kissing her and I donāt like it but Iām scared I felt something in my chest. And Iām scared when I try to imagine kissing a guy I didnāt do much of anything but I feel exhausted and Iāve been taking Flexeril and Tylenol p.m. almost nonstop for a month so Iām like OK you know what not only is this probably messing with me like the OCD itās probably also the Flexeril the Tylenol ganging up on me as well. And I was really excited about the Batman like Iām incredibly excited itās not past tense but Iām scared I do I donāt like Zoe. I donāt like Selena. Iām scared I do because Iāve seen her I donāt like her boobs Iāve seen her basically naked and I donāt like it. No Iām imagining her in the dress from the 2021 met gala I keep saying donāt or do you donāt or do I donāt but I keep imagining them facing the camera covered in that sparkly should family coming anything and saying as I imagine hurt Iām scared itās becoming so I feel weird in my chest describing it as but it doesnāt feel hotter delicious her boobs sticking out I didnāt like it. And then I was excited about the BATMAN right and then I said itās even better with Catlin and itās not better with her and thereās a scene where theyāre walking through club and I love his walk because heās serious and then said better with her like Iām itās not better with her except Iām sorry. The thing is Iād liked his walk his shoulders are moving and he obviously has chest muscles so Iām scared Iām changing Iām sorry. Heās walking and then I said I did the imitation of his walk and since Iām not a guy I have boobs and I said better with her I donāt like her boobs. I donāt want to change and become self! Iām not bisexual that stuff is not hot. Itās not done with her I like his chest but Iām scared I have been not lying to myself I donāt like boobs! I saw her boobs basically Iāve seen her completely naked in the structure of her comfortable boobs theyāre natural so they sad but she doesnāt wear bras and friends I donāt like her nipples I donāt like her boobs and Iām scared Iām becoming so and I donāt wanna be! Iām not bisexual I did not better with cat woman I donāt have a thing for her and I donāt understand cause I said so excited. Like when I was younger Halle Berry and play woman and I wanted to be like her but thatās it now Iām scared I keep imag managing her like she is sheās not hot as sexy I donāt want boobs to become sexy I donāt want to see them naked and it keeps imagine Halle Berry as a per year I donāt like her boobs I donāt like nipples I donāt like the ones that kind of turn up words I donāt like boobs theyāre not itās not better with cat women I swear Iām excited about Batman not Catwoman Iām scared Iām becoming so I donāt wanna be bisexual and Iām really freaked out Iām really scared to do I donāt like boobs I donāt want to develop anything for them Iām scared Iām Iām not bored of his Iām scared of you and Iām smiling I donāt like the way they stick off the chest or swish around when a woman walks Iām scared when she was walking all bad as Iām scared I donāt like it I said I donāt mind it I do mind I donāt like it I do mind I donāt want to do anything with girls I donāt like the way to stick off the chest and im frightened I am I donāt wanna start liking the way women walk and shit or the way they look naked I donāt like this shit Iām scared he is I donāt want him to go away
Itās been a month since Iāve started trying to find help for my ocd Iām on ssi and get Medicaid in Tennessee and thereās no help for ocd here in Tennessee and no help that accepts me insurance I recently moved into a really nice 1 bedroom apartment but pest control came and sprayed majority of the carpet wit bug spray and I havenāt had a clear thought since that happened I can barely move the apartment was so clean and nice I hadnāt lived in a nice place in along time cause I donāt make much money and all the places I can afford are always dirty and bug infested so this new apartment was a blessing for me the way I felt just relaxed in this big open apartment wit freshly painted walls and brand new carpet the windows are new the blinds are nice this place was pleaseing to look at but it also made me feel better Iāve been liveing in such small dirty places for years in and out of motels and my car this place was just amazing it felt so relaxing to my brain I felt so free then when he sprayed all of that went away I feel like my eyes donāt even acknowledge wats going on in my apartment there not takeing in my surroundings anymore I barely move all day the more I try to do the more my brain tryās to figure out wat touched the carpet itās really exhausting and overwhelming I had so many plans of getting better here cause I was finally in a good environment to get better and use the tools I learn at home since I had a clean home for the first time in years but itās not like that anymore i feel like im slowly dieing im so depressed I cry everyday all day since that has happened Iāve called everywere and begged for help Iāve been on so many ocd apps Iāve called hospitals Iāve done everything nowere takes my insurance for ocd treatment im so messed up my schedules so messed up I canāt even get up early enough to call more places im trying so hard but it shouldnāt have to be this hard to get the proper care I need im begging everyone to please help me I want an ocd therapist I want someone who actually understand ocd to prescribe me medicene thatāll actually work I need and want help and always have wanted help I just thought I was always gonna be like this cause noone actually understood my ocd I still need to finish moveing into this apartment but I canāt my old place is 30 minutes away itās fucking snowing and cold here im exhausted and can barely manage doing my dressing ritual everyday by the time im done I just want to try to relax I have 2 storage units I need to get stuff out of to put in our apartment to I have a pop up camper I was redoing that I didnāt get to finish and it needs to be popped down thereās literally so much that I need to get done that was suppose to be easy but instead my world and apartment has become so contaminated by the bug spray I just canāt do anything but panick I missed court and a doctors appointment even when I do get better thereās gonna be repercussions of my ocd and it sucks and now I have Covid and have been so sick Iāve not even been able to do my dressing ritual which I have to do everyday to put on clean clothes if I donāt do my dressing ritual once a day then I have to do it twice the next watever amount of days I wasnāt able to do the dressing ritual I have to make up for those days so being sick like this really sucks I just need help and Iām at the end of my rope wit this itās been almost a month i shouldnāt have to beg for help it shouldnāt be so hard to get admitted into a psychiatric hospital just cause my ocd is hard to understand and accommodate im so done wit this shit.
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life
