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I've lost my ability to differentiate between right and wrong. I'm lost.

I need advice on how to respond to my sons compulsions..I don't think I'm supposed to accommodate his weird fears but it always turns into a big fight and the. We both get very upset. Also he is not understanding the ERP therapy.

I’ve probably always had ROCD but it wasn’t debilitating at all and it was always more not being sure if they love me and asking for reassurance. Then I got engaged. I knew it was coming because we were very open about the process and I was SO EXCITED. I practically planned the wedding a year before the engagement. We have been together for 10 years (we were teenagers when we started dating) and we always joked that we were forever in the honeymoon stage, we were infatuated with each other for a whole decade. We are best friends, we can be goofy together, and he brings me so much comfort. When we got engaged, something in me changed. I had this intrusive thought of “are you sure you love him” and it sent me into my first panic attack ever. I took off of work, I was bedridden. My relationship has always been the most secure and important part of my life, take that away and nothing else matters to me. I fell into a depression, for months I haven’t felt love for him, family, or friends. I haven’t done anything of enjoyment for 6 months. For 6 months, I’ve sat on the couch and went to work. I can’t stop these intrusive thoughts of wanting to leave and run. I love my life with him and I want it back. Someone told me that it’s possible I’ve had this passing thought before but shook it off. Now that we’re engaged, it’s like I’m on a deadline of when I should feel normal again. We haven’t set a date yet but there are expectations from others that feel like it’s counting down. Without thinking I’ll go to kiss or hug him and then my brain goes “what was that, was that live or are you forcing it” obviously the love won’t come back when I’m constantly doing that, but I can’t help it. He knows the full extent of everything and has been amazing and strong for me even though I know it must hurt him. It makes me want to be with him more. I can logically remind myself how he makes me feel but I can’t shake these intrusive thoughts.

Hi! I think I'm struggling with compulsive staring OCD. Before, I had these uncomfortable thoughts of minr but I just got better and now it seems like they are coming back because of an unexpected happening in school. My professor called me to recite and I wasn't able to answer his questions and he said that he thought I was really serious but it seemed like I was just looking at his body. I felt extremely uncomfortable and now I can't just stop thinking about that. Everytime I get to converse with other people, I try so hard to not look at their body parts because it is inappropriate but I always end up looking at it and what if they notice and they feel uncomfortable because of me. I really think that because of that incident, I became really sensitive to these thoughts. And I worry about what if my family, friends, and other people think that I'm a pervert. And I don't want to be a pervert because I know how it feels to be uncomfortable 😭😭 I'm still a college student in the Philippines and I am thinking of opening this up to my parents but I have this fear of what if they misunderstand. Also, I want to try ERP by myself and see if it will improve my situation or not. I really really want to seek help but I don't know how and when. I just want to be able to function normally again. I know that I can overcome this.

I am stuck in my ocd. If I don’t brush my teeth again I feel like nothing else is real me then I feel like I need to do it to undo that compulsion, but if I do my mind is telling me another horrible thought that I am the devil or something or that I live with the devil. It’s hard to even say it out loud but I am scared right now of my own thoughts and it feels to scary to think rationally right now. Somebody please help me get out of this mindset right now

I am struggling with living and trying to function in a normal life. I am married, have a great house, no children but three dogs who are everything to me, and work part time while finishing my doctorate degree. I struggle with obsessing that something terrible will happen to my dogs every time I leave the house. Because of the fact that we never had children, my dogs are everything to me in the thought of some thing happening to one of them is so overwhelming that I have a hard time coping when it comes to leaving them, even if it’s just for a short time. I had a traumatic experience from the loss of one of our dogs seven years ago, due to negligence of a veterinarian neurosurgeon who made a mistake and caused the death of my dog. I blame myself for this every single day and I probably will for the rest of my life. I also have a lot of anxiety, which started when I was probably around five or six years old. My parents would travel a lot and I was constantly afraid they would die in a car crash or plane crash. I am terrified to fly or take a train. I have to drive all the time and sometimes it becomes exhausting. Every time I leave my house I have the check, check again, and re-check again to make sure everything is “OK.“ I check to make sure every door is locked, I make sure the knobs on the stove are off, And when I lock that front door and leave I jiggle the handle several times “just to make sure it’s locked“ even though I know it is. While I’m at work I’m constantly worried that something will happen to my dogs or at my house. If my husband comes home a few minutes late I panic that he was in an accident. It causes a strain on my marriage because it takes me so long to actually get out the door, it constantly makes myself or my husband and I late for any event. I’m not doing it on purpose I just can’t feel calm until I complete all these “rituals.“ I would not wish this on my worst enemy.

Help, my new bf just went away for the weekend. We talked for hours yesterday, and today he texted me 7 hours ago. I haven’t heard from him since then. In these 7 hours my brain has gone from normal content about him— to my heart racing thinking about how we probably actually doesn’t even like me that much/maybe he’s cheating/he has all these character flaws I ignored beside/writing breakup texts to send because I can’t stand to see him tomorrow anymore. I can’t stand my brain!!! I can’t tell if these thoughts are real or just my nightly ruminations where I always think everyone hates me and is trying to leave me secretly.

I don’t understand. My partner is hanging and spending the night at his friend’s house doing eventual full things with them. We usually are at home relaxing and being together and sometimes in silence doing our own thing. We don’t go on dates often.. b/c last time when we did go on a date I had very bad intrusive thoughts about not loving him… But after him telling me everything he did today. I started to question everything all over again and wanted to cry… I have been obsessing if we have enough in common.. I want to do more things together but with the constant break up thoughts and constantly thinking I don’t love him…. Doesn’t help… I am starting to question everything more and I haven’t felt anything for awhile now…. We had sex last night too… I felt nothing… I couldn’t get turned on like I usually do.. I am on 100mgs of Zoloft…. So I wonder if that is the case… I get so depressed I can’t function…. It doesn’t help that… my cat my fatty baby girl most likely is dying from mouth cancer… she hasn’t been acting herself.. seeing her throw up and having the runs badly is causing me to break down more… Life I know can be unfair.. but with everything bad happening… how can I have faith… how can I be better or get to be happy with everything bad happening… she also has a vet appointment this week… I’m scared that I have to put her down… 😢 I know I went off track… sorry.. I have been self conscious about my weight.. my partner said he loves me no matter what size I am but.. I am disgusted with how I look… I wanna lose weight but been using food as comfort. I know that I am not happy anymore.. the relationship isn’t the cause it’s everything else that is…. How can I strengthen my relationship when I constantly believe I don’t love him anymore…

Is this normal? Sometimes when I spend long times ruminating, checking and creating scenarios I sometimes get a huge amount of anxiety which makes it feel like it's real. Is this normal? I feel like the anxiety is the whole reason why it feels so real

Any so-ocd or ROCD success stories? I am having a very hard ocd day and it has me feeling hopeless :(

So I have no worries about my partner cheating on me, if he’s going to do it he’s going to do it there’s nothing I can do, but I have a fear that I’ve cheated on my partner. About two years ago I was out with my mates from uni and one of the boys was really lovely to me, we got on well and he was attractive and could have said he was my type, but obviously I only seen him as my mate as I was in a year long relationship with my bf at the time. Every time we were out we’d be together most of the night but literally just as mates, and I’d never had a male friend before and always wanted one so I was really excited I had one and we had really good time together and he was just so lovely and one of my best mates. Turns out he had a crush on me and I was flattered and maybe even played on this (I have no idea if I did or if I was just being myself), this didn’t change anything we were still good mates. Anyways, that night out was when one of my mate told me like yeah he fancies u and I was once again flattered but not interested in him in that way and we just spent our night together like we normally would. We were waiting for the taxi and me and him were just messing around like I do with all my mates and then in the taxi I had to lean on him and hold his hand so I wouldn’t pass out and be sick (we’d been drinking since 1pm and it was now around 12am and I’d not eaten, I always get stupidly drunk). I woke up the next morning with complete guilt that I cheated on my partner, not physically but emotionally. I told my partner everything and he was a little uncomfortable that my mate fancied me but didn’t see anything wrong it what happened. As time has gone on I’ve forgotten about it and me and my friend even lived together in my second year of uni and we’re still mates now and I seen him the other day and my brain just said that I fancied him before, I found him attractive and lovely and if that’s what a crush is then sure but I never had romantic feelings towards him. My brain is telling me I’ve cheated, I’ve been disrespectful to my partner, because I played along I did something wrong instead of stop talking to by friend, I only held his hand cos I knew he fancied me… I just don’t know what’s real and what isn’t as it happened so long ago but I feel like I need to tell my boyfriend I cheated and I fancied this boy and that’s why I did what I did. I act like this with all my male friends and now I’m thinking so I just flirt with them all, this was back in 2020/21 so a while ago and I’ve grown since then but it’s still something I did and I can’t shake this feeling.

I have ulcerative colitis, and it’s flaring up rn. I stared to see blood in the toilet again, which is always shocking and causes anxiety. The same thoughts go through my mind every time i see my own blood: 1. Every time you bleed you’re closer to colon cancer. 2. You’re going to end up in the hospital again. 3. You’re weak, and will never be able to be dependent. I feel so alone, i don’t know anyone like myself, I’m too niche. Like who else has UC, anxiety, OCD, and is around my age, no one. No one will ever love me, I’m too difficult and complicated. I feel like a burden.

all i know is the "maybe maybe not" but the doubts and rumination still going, also in fact i cant accept that my thoughts are ego dystonic or that i have insight at all, what should i do or say to myself?

It’s been a while since I have been on this platform. In August, 2022, I said goodbye to my OCD therapist. Excerpt from my OCD diary: Aug, 2022 I just said goodbye to my therapist. She texted me this morning “are you running late?” The second time in a row I had forgotten about my therapy session. Maybe the third time? All after I had knocked them down from an hour to thirty minutes. I simply had nothing to talk about. I consider my OCD in remission (something my therapist helped me to understand- as an obsessive compulsive mindset doesn’t necessarily go away, your response to the specific obsessions can). Full days go by that I do not think about my obsessions. When they rise, I continue to engage with my fearful thoughts by confronting them. I wanted to post again because I read an interesting excerpt on shame- which we know flourishes in an OCD mindset. “First, I know my physical symptoms of shame— the dry mouth, time slowing down, tunnel vision, hot face, racing heart. I know that playing the painful slow-motion reel over and over in my head is a warning sign.” (Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection) If that does not describe an OCD rumination storm I don’t know what does. And what is the fix? “Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it-it can’t survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy”. (Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection) This resonated with the way I felt when I learned about OCD. When I found out what OCD was I could pull apart the shame I had been feeling and label it. I could define the experiences I was having. Rumination. Obsession. Compulsions. Anxiety. Pure-O. Groinal Response. There was power in exposing the shame I had; I now knew why I was having the obsessions, why I was doing the compulsions, and why I still felt like shit. Then without knowing Brené Brown’s strategy for tackling shame. I reached out. I found a confidant; my mother. I found a therapist. I found this community. I found other communities. I found a different therapist. I found books. I shared my story. I shared my shame. Not broadly from the rooftops. But to people I knew could understand, support, and encourage. I found peace through sharing my shame with you. Seven months ago I considered myself over OCD. It still comes up but it doesn’t rage. All this to say. Thank you for listening to me talk about my shame. The courage, compassion, and connection through this platform saved my life. Additionally, as a sufferer of OCD you are in the right place. Sharing shame on this platform is a step in the right direction; a step towards recovery. Finally, you know your shame. So grapple, tug, drag, grind, force your shame into the light. Tell other people about it. Not only does it starve your shame; it helps others to know they are not alone. It tells others to share their shame—kill it, don’t feed it. Thank you.

Having ocd are you also afraid to have sex with your partner? I have a terrible problem with this and don't know what to do. Before, it did not cause me any difficulty.

I've got a constant urge that I've lost the magical feelings I had for my boyfriend and I need to find a new crush to be happy again. I'm afraid I'll end up liking someone. I know I want Noone but him but this thought won't leave my mind. It's like my mind is convinced I won't be able to revive my own self back unless I get a new crush with all those exciting feelings back. Please someone going through it help me out. How do I work these urges? They are making me feel as if I'm attracted to men I don't even want.

Its unbelievable to me how few therapists & so called mental health professionals Do NOT understand how to Treat OCD" ?? How is this possible when OCD is such a debilitating mental health illness that millions have? I and millions others suffer everyday with No help & unless ur wealthy enough to afford one of the rare therapists that actually treats OCD then ur left alone with nothing! Its just not Right!! ALL counselors & therapists SHOULD be skilled & trained in ERP & treating OCD. Its disgusting they have degrees years of schooling and OCD is completely left out as if we don't matter when it IS a REAL medical mental health condition!! I just don't get it!!

My mind is really obsessing over someone else that isn’t my partner. So I will think of my partner first then this other boy will replace my boyfriend face and name and I’ll just be like why no stop like I don’t wanna think of that other boy just my boyfriend. It’s so annoying and stressful. I just wanna cry because I don’t wanna think of that other boy and it’s like my mind will replace what I imagine with my bf with this over boy. I don’t want this boy to pop up in my mind anymore. My minds telling me I like him and it feels like I have to say it with my tongue and I don’t wanna. I don’t like him I jus love my boyfriend and I don’t want anyone else but my mind makes me feel as if I like this other boy and I don’t like that and I just really want tips on how to handle these thoughts. Also earlier I admitted that this boy was attractive then later I’m like no he’s not that attractive now I feel guilty for finding him attractive but it’s like I can’t make up if he is I don’t think he’s that attractive but then I will feel like he kinda is idk. I don’t wanna find him attractive nor think of him. My mind makes me feel as if I have a crush on this boy that isn’t my boyfriend and it’s like I know I don’t but it feels like I actually do and I don’t wanna think that I want it to go away I just don’t know how.

Today is my birthday and I'm feeling like throwing up from this anxiety. This is tmi and I talk about masturbation, if anyone is sensitive to that. For me, everything related to my sexuality has always carried negative feelings. This is a bit tmi, but when younger I used to masturbate to the feeling of anxiety. When a bit older, I used to masturbate to seeing a photo of women holding hands and thinking: "if you do this, then you're a lesbian". This led to pornography, which has always carried the same negative tone. Being with a man has always been my dream. Having a stable home, a loving husband, being a devoted wife, a good mother. I've had crushes, I've written down lists of what to look for in a guy. I've had hocd for a while, since 2019, but last year I was doing so well that I developed a crush on a man who's now my boyfriend. I was the one who liked him first, and he corresponded my feelings. He's the sweetest man I've ever met, he's just so loving. He adores me too. I'm serious about this guy. When we got intimate, I responded to his touch, but I couldn't come. We're in a long distance relationship and he's away, but until now, even alone, I can only have an orgasm if I'm thinking about being with a woman, and what this might mean about me. I hate it. Deeply. I'm broken. I don't want to be with a woman, I've never liked the idea, but what if this is nothing but internalized homophobia? This makes me want to die. When I was doing better, last year, I didn't think much about this. I thought I was straight, but maybe bi. I didn't care very much about it. I was feeling good. What's going on?? :(

so i believe in God and i’m gay. anytime i ever do anything that has to deal with me and another many or thinking of it or anything i feel like God is upset with me, something bad is going to happen; or since my thoughts have died down i think maybe my thoughts will come back or they will happen. i was wondering if this fall into religious OCD or if anyone else out there deals with this like i do?