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How intense/real can intrusive feelings get? Because I feel like false attraction feels way more intense than my normal attractions have ever felt and that worries me a lot..

Just know im going to be pumled with intrusive thoughts the moment i step through that door and were alone, The thoughts and feelings that hit me are so real and frightening. I cant live like this Feels to real like i could listen and do it I hate the feeling of the realness it gives me i feel sick that i think im capable of such horror 😓

I’m scared to death because I struggle really bad with real event ocd and the fear behind if it means anything or whatever but two of my co workers were talking about something very triggering about a show they watch and I’m not dealing with it well. I don’t know if it’s the ocd latching onto it but I don’t do well when dealing with my past and I pray to God it’s not what the ocd is making it out to be. I never had bad intentions in my entire life. I just know when I was a teenager (I’m 24 now the real event was probably around the ages 15-17ish I don’t remember exactly) and I didn’t know back then what I know now. It wasn’t until I was about 20-21 when I remembered it as I developed ocd and I’ve been dealing with it ever since. I’m terrified. I don’t want to be a bad person. I just wish when I was younger I wasn’t so stupid. I would change everything in a heartbeat knowing now what I didn’t know back then. I have talked to people including my parents a few years ago and the two therapists I’ve had and they said that I was being too hard on myself and to let it go and I can’t. It scares me to death 💔

How can you tell if you feel the urge to confess because it's a compulsion or because the person you want to confess to genuinely needs to know that information? I deal with real event OCD based on an event that no one will be affected by unless I confess it to them, but I've been having a flare up that's telling me that I don't have OCD and that I am just feeling normal guilt because I haven't disclosed the event when I should have. How do I know if I feel like not confessing is morally wrong because it actually is morally wrong and I need to seek forgiveness, or because my OCD is trying to convince me to give into a compulsion? Would it be better to just confess regardless so that I can stop worrying about whether or not I'm doing something wrong by keeping it to myself?

I only got 2 hours of sleep. I think it's because of anxiety. I have a final exam in a few hours. Loud noises outside were bugging me and I had to block it out. Then intrusive thoughts came in about POCD and how I'm such an awful person because of my addiction. I feel like this everyday and I can't get past it. I don't know how, but some days I'm okay and other days I'm not. This sucks. I don't want to harm children and I don't want to watch anything sickening that involves children. I just want to get my life back, even if it feels like I'm not supposed to

Hello everyone, I’m 22 and experiencing ROCD since 3 years now. I’m with my partner since 1 year now and I love our relationship. I had a ROCD flare up 8 months ago, I thought our relationship would not survive it (because of course my thoughts said so and also because ROCD already ended one of my past relationship). But I did it! In 3 weeks, almost on my own, I suppressed the bad thoughts and I lived so many beautiful moments with my partner since. A few months later, I felt dumb that I had these thoughts in the past. I though that I was fully healed but ROCD thoughts came back a few days ago, mostly I think because I’m moving to Dunlin for a few months so I will be away from my partner for a while. It scares the shit out of me. But now I’m less terrified, because I have tools to fight it. I will report how my journey is going everyday here until I’m fully healed. After that much time with ROCD, here are a few tips that will may help you if you’re going through it (based on my personal experience) - Do some ERP. I know it sounds scary and you’re telling yourself that exposing yourself to your thoughts will make them real but they are what they are : just thoughts. They’re not you and your reality. - Remember that ROCD loves to lie to you. It reflects what you fear the most. If you have an anxious attachment like me, you’re relationship and your partner are for sure what you care about the most - If you can, seek some help with a specialized OCD therapist. Talking to a talk therapist can be a compulsion. - Finally, try to not test your feelings for your partner during that time. You’re not fully yourself and your thoughts are so stressful that you can’t think clear. It’s useless and will scare you more. Resist the compulsion Finally: you’re not alone. There are people out there who healed from ROCD and we can be part of them. You’re not alone !

Hi so I have a food avoidance disorder because I have been scared I'm gonna have an allergic reaction to the food. For context I have never had an allergic reaction to food ever. This food avoidance disorder is causing me to lose a bit of weight and I don't enjoy it. It is also obviously causing me lots of stress and taking alot of "enrichment" from my life. Any advice to getting over this?

Porn messed up my life. I think it brought out the absolute worst in me and made me do a lot of regrettable things, seen a lot of regrettable things, and I feel like I have to hold onto that guilt for my whole life. I'm still staying away from it but I hate how much damage this did to me. Was it my fault for being exposed to it so young? I don't think so. But, it's not like anyone else showed it to me. I kinda just found it. So am I to blame? Who's at fault? I can't find anyone else to blame so I just blame myself. It seriously made me see messed up things, act on messed up things at a young age. It messed up high school for me and it's still messing with me, even though I'm not even watching it. The other thing that's messing me up is OCD. It feels like I don't deserve the best for the things I've done tbh. That's how I see it. Things were all fine until middle school ended. That's when everything got shitty and things just haven't felt the same ever since the summer of 2014 had ended.

I was just watching a commercial and I saw a kid actress and all I was thinking was “hey I think I know them” and I just felt fluttering in my face, chest, and towards my growing and I wasn’t even thinking anything sexual. All I was thinking was hey I think I know them and I was getting the reactions. This is why I think it isn’t just ocd. I find adults attractive and I don’t get the same reaction as I do when I’m just looking at a kid and not even thinking anything bad. If ocd can make you do this I hate it. I don’t want to be a pedophile and I hate that I have convinced myself I am.

I’m 24 gonna be 25 and never had a boyfriend in my life. This year before my OCD episode I was going to live my life and loose weight and get into dating. Now I gave harm ocd flare up and I feel so miserable. Back in college my ocd flared and asked for 4 years. I feel so miserable and a loser. I was doing so well by losing weight and this flare up happened out of the blue. Feel so hopeless and scared and anxious. Leaving the house is a struggle for me.

I rarely have problems with this disorder these days, but I still have obsessive thoughts regarding relationships and my boundaries. It seems that whenever I invest emotionally with someone, I almost immedietely enter this rollercoaster of various types of obsessive-compulsive sequences that come after each other in the kind of vicious cycle: a) when I am spending lots of time with someone I begin to obsess that I will lose control of my entire life due to them, because all I will ever think about is them and all I will ever do will be talking or spending time with them to the point of neglecting my other duties and self-development. I am scared the new relationship will take all of my time. b) so I compulsively try to limit the effect they have on me by strongly ritualising the contact - restricting it only to certain days, or certain times of the day, et cetera. c) this triggers an avalanche of scrupulous OCD in which not being always available equals bad, failing, neglectful, manipulative friend/partner. I am also tending to have catastrophising obsessions that they will need me while I'll be gone or that they are already angry at me and this will blow up. It leads me to be guilty and in turn idealising them and wanting to make it up to them. d) but once I am returning to contact and try to be helpful and useful sudden obsession comes that reminds me of some random way this person has disappointed me in the past and i start to get severe obsessions about them being abusive and hurting me without me noticing. Attempt to rationalise it provokes counter obsession that I am only rationalising due to Stockholm Syndrome, lol e) then I have this another bout of guilt because rationally I know this person is not abusive yet I still obsess about it and I get another obsession on top of those obsession - an obsession that my preoccupation with the " what if they are abusive?" is somehow visible to the person in question as me being aloof, withdrawn or tense around the person and that will hurt them as they will not know what is going on. So I get the urge to confess all of that and also get reassurance that this will be forgiven. I am not really looking for advice as there's probably not much to advice - with years I have been getting better at ignoring those thoughts and not getting myself dragged into the drama. Still it still keeps happening in any significant relationship I have, episodically, whenever my psychological immunity is lowered because I am overtired or stressed about something, it comes back like herpes lol. I am just wondering if it ever goes away entirely or if this circus will always go on in my head as it's tiring and I sometimes wish my responses to emotional intimacy were just normal for a change

Today was supposed to be a great day at the beach with my husband and kids. I woke up and the first thought is your a closeted lesbian it’s time to tell your hubby. I ignored it and stuffed my Zoloft in my mouth praying for it to work again. I tried to sleep but it kept looping . Me feeling masculine and saying you see your a lesbian time to tell husband. The heat on back of neck headache nausea is this OCD? Or is this the truth. Try to ignore and push myself to go to beach. All I want to do is cry and search forums to see others feelings to prove my whole life isn’t over it’s just a mental disorder or chemical imbalance . My wonderful husband who makes me feel safe and showers me with love and affection. I feel so bad , is this really going to happen? Felt a urge to talk to my daughter about it . It sent me spiraling time to break the news to your daughter that you want to be with a woman and not her dad . Heat on back of neck tears o my god is this true do I want this ? No you don’t? Yes you do? You’ve always known you’ve always fought this. Stop leading this man on? Let him go so you can be your truth? Tell him now now now god please help me take this away no it’s not true yes it is . Smoke a little it’ll help god it’s getting worse . I’m stuck in bed and am frozen Do others feel this ? Is this ocd? What’s happening we were so good just a couple of weeks ago Yeah intrusive thoughts would come and go but and I always wondered yes I’ve had other themes yes I have been under tremendous stress What is happening.

I don’t even feel reassurance anymore when I do compulsions. I relapsed a theme after 2 years of not having it. It’s been 4 days, I just feel fully convinced that I’m transgender. I’m so scared and I had a panic attack after realising how similar my experience is to the someone else who is trans, and how denial could also be scary. I don’t even know if this is OCD anymore . It feels real, and like denial. Can someone please tell me what to do. I had a huge panic attack where my hands were shaking and I felt cold and I was breathing deeply and heavily and repeating no no no. And I genuinely thought I was transgender. I feel like there is no way anymore that I’m not transgender. My brain is split in 50/50 and I don’t know which side it true. The thought of being trans is giving me so much anxiety and I keep checking the trans subreddits and seeing if I relate and when I do I panic. I keep thinking what if I do ERP and I’m just stopping myself from genuine self exploration if I am actually trans. What if I am trans and they don’t let me transition (this thought scares me because why would I be thinking about wanting to transition???) . I can’t even remember what I was like prior to this starting. My TOCD started at such and early age and I didn’t even get to figure out who I was. But I felt like myself in the recent months I think. I don’t know what the fuck is going on. Help. I’m so fucking scared. I don’t wanna be transgender. I want to naturally be feminine. It’s like some of my old wants and desires disappeared. Help.

At first some intrusive thoughts were very disgusting, after having them for so long in my mind, they’re not that disgusting anymore which makes me feel more anxious is that normal ?

Fear wearing items touching things things falling off me and never being able to retrieve them when out. Feel like I have ashes all over me but I know it’s just ocd but can’t move last just feels immoral to carry on bern stick in house for nearly 2 months struggle to go toliet due to contamination fearsvrestrict food water also please help some one

Good morning!!! Are any of you out there over 60? I am 64 years young! I am super active and not to sound conceited but when I tell people his old I am they are shocked! I take care of me! Do hot yoga, work out, eat right most of the time and have a happy yet OCD tarnished life. Started in my childhood and themes have come and gone. Did erp and have been quite better. Last few days it’s rearing it’s ugly little head… my ocd…. You are 64… how much time do you have left to live…. DEATH! It’s always been my main theme. Fear if it! Mine and my loved ones. Major childhood trauma on my 10th bday when my dad almost died of a massive heart attack. He did due 10 years later while all along I worried that he would be taken from us… long story short I am feeling the tentacles close in lately. Yes of course we will all die but. While I continue to breathe and enjoy this wonderful life, any words of wisdom from my fellow “baby boomers”! Happy Sunday💛please and thank you🥰

Okay so back in December I made the disgusting drunk decision to make the biggest mistake of my entire life, one that had forever changed me. I was the drunkest I’ve ever been and slept with someone who had a gf, at the time drunk me did know but it wasn’t in my conscious brain at all that it was something I should worry about. Until I woke up the next morning and felt stuck to my stomach and the lil amount I even remembered. This guy was driving my home, he was driving so he was definitely more sober than I was. Anyway, my point is I’ve met this absolute lovely guy the same night and we hit it off so well to the point today we are seeing each other and even exclusive. He knew the guy and even got dropped off by him as well! And to this day I’m not 100% certain on what this guy knows of the story, we’ve talked about it briefly and he says the guy was disgusting and he isn’t friends with him anymore. Then we talked about mistakes and how no matter what you’ve done in your past if you’ve learnt and grown from it then nobody can ask more of you, the thing is I don’t know if I should tell him what I’ve done and if I do what do I do if he leaves me. It’s something I’m having to live with and I do my want to, I don’t wanna think about my last anymore. My friend says it’s probably best for there or be no secrets between you both and for you to be 100% completely honest with one another which I do wanna do, but I don’t know when I should do it. I am absolutely head over heels, and this is the first time I’m admitting it, in love with this guy. I can’t loose him he’s my rock and I’m his. I’m so anxious I’m at work rn feeling like I’m gonna have a breakdown over it. I want him fully I don’t want anyone else, I’m not a cheater I would never ever do that, but during the time I did I was in the biggest deepest hole of depression to the point life seems pointless. I lost my Nan, my dog and the guy I thought I loved in the span of a couple months and I just didn’t see the point of caring anymore. But he changed everything, the moment I met him my entire life changed, he changed me fully and I couldn’t be happier but fuck this anxiety is killing me

Something I've noticed is that I can't help but take certain things personally. Like losing in a video game when trying to have fun, or comparing myself to others unfairly, or whenever I think of the things I'm ashamed of. I don't really know why my self esteem is this low but with OCD, it does not help because of all of these intrusive thoughts. I don't really know what to do about it besides try to ignore it. I'm also not the best with socializing

Hi there, I just downloaded the app yesterday in hopes of guidance. For me, I believe I may have recently learned I have OCD several weeks ago. In looking through what has occured, I believe I might be struggling with Hit and Run OCD. Roughly two weeks ago, I was driving to meet my friends with the window down and radio on. I looked to adjust the radio briefly in combination with hearing a child outside. While the thought occured if I may have hit a child, I continued to drive thinking nothing of it. Closer to my destination, I became more and more panicked, and involved looking at my car for any new damage or blood on the tires. Even though nothing was noticeable, since then it has been dehabilitating with checking news and police reports, mental reassurance, etc. Then two days ago, when driving through a parking garage, I ran over what logically would be a speed bump (checking that the garage has speed bumps in multiple areas) and did my best not to check and continue to my destination. However, I can't remember exactly when I hit that speed bump, so I'm panicked over another possible hit and run scenario I was unsure of. Even now, I have doubts about my dented license plate from years ago was new and from a pedestrian, or even if I have OCD at all and am using this as an excuse of some sort. My apologies for the long winded response, as I am researching and trying to put ERP into practice, but any guidance would be extremely grateful.

Anyone else with this theme? No reassurance please. Also sorry this post is really long! Guys I’m trying to nip a new theme in the bud. I discovered r/fakedisordercringe last night and went down kind of an awful rabbit hole. Now my brain keeps telling me I’ve been faking ocd and other mental health troubles I’ve had in the past because my life is easy and I’m bored and want to be special or something. Admittedly I kinda feel like I made myself mentally ill with subconscious intent to punish myself— like I did some attention seeking stuff out of boredom and lied a lot as a young teen, but I went pretty far with how much I hurt/sabotaged myself so there must’ve been something else going on that was deeper than just surface-level faking. And the way my brain functions has changed radically as a result. I definitely have OCD. These people accuse other people of making mental illness their entire personality, and it makes me insecure about how much I talk about mine. It isn’t my personality, but it takes up so much of my brain space and I’m done with being alone and not talking about this stuff. Sometimes I seriously lose touch with my interests and positive attributes because it feels like the villain in my intrusive thoughts is all that exists. And it’s not true— I’m passionate about music and nature and sometimes I feel an immense joy lust for life. I have a few close who I love very dearly and could talk to for hours and the grip of the thoughts temporarily melts away. I was also diagnosed with autism when I was very young, but in most situations I don’t “pass” as autistic to others because I am very verbal and articulate. I’ve always struggled with things like making friends, sensory overload, changes in routine and holding jobs, but to a lot of people it probably just looks like I’m shy, anxious, incompetent, who knows? There are some people on the internet who are mostly self-diagnosed and post cute posts and say things about autism that feel weirdly infantilizing and make me uncomfortable—but ultimately I, a stranger, can’t be the judge of whether they’re really on the spectrum. Especially because I fear many people on this subreddit would probably come for me just because of how I carry myself a lot of the time (“not disabled enough”, “insulting to the people who are really struggling”). I think my OCD impairs me a lot more than my autistic traits these days but like. Did my parents “fake” my diagnosis? Other parents thought they did but I don’t fucking think so. I don’t want to let this toxic negativity overtake my brain; I had a really good day yesterday and I want my hope to reign.