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y'all ever had a compulsion stop working?

I WOULD BE FOREVER GRAFEFUL IF SOMEONE COULD SHET SOME RATIONALE HERE ❤️ (Sorry for all the posts I meet my therapist on Thursday am hopefully I won’t be so annoying then ?) I have multiple themes and one is POCD. One of my worries is about flashing kids through my windows etc. A few weeks ago it was pitch dark and I don’t yet have curtains on my kitchen window and I quickly checked if my time of the month had came just a quick peak but I obviously had to put them down a wee bit. Then at the cinema toilets I was using a cubicle which didn’t lock so I held it with my hand but I made a small step forward in front of this small gap from the door and then convinced myself I was a terrible person as I knew I shouldn’t of stepped forward. And now I was walking into the living room putting a jumper over my vest top (not wearing a bra) and I felt my boob fall out of my vest top and I yet continued to walk. This has just sparked all of these other things like I have mentioned. It’s hard because it’s like I tell myself not to do something and I do it. Like those examples

Do you think there could be a link between OCD (with its various themes) and some times of uncertainty in life ? Seems like it comes back after changing places, job, finishing studies... (just wondering if it could be our minds trying to deal with the anxiety caused by these types of events)

This is the first time ever i have had a same sex dream i mean i had tried fantasizing about same sex relationship just to check myself in the past but i don't think i ever had same sex dreams BUT the weird thing is after i woke up and tried remembering the dream, I liked the dream. I just liked it.. I don't know if i liked myself in that relationship and would want to experience myself in such relationship or just because the story was kind of sweet. And the fact that i liked is giving me a headache and i cannot stop thinking about it

I seriously have never thought about girls until now. It just never crossed my mind. I never liked or had feelings for a girl. And now that I’m constantly questioning everything and picturing everything. It just feels like I like it. It scares me, would I be happy with a girl ?? I don’t want to be with a girl but I feels like I do want this. It’s so confusing. I can’t tell whether this is actually ocd or I’m genuinely attracted to the same sex. I hate this so much !!! It’s like I just completely lost myself and questioned it so much I’ve just become lesbian but some things just don’t make sense. Why would I catch feelings for other boys? Never girls. I don’t know anymore. I’m happy with my boyfriend. Without these thoughts I’d be so good and so much more happy. Now I just don’t fucking know and this hurts so damn bad that I can’t just rest not one day. This is so damn stressful and hurtful to question your identity every single day. Sometimes I seriously just feel like I’m lesbian but I can’t seem to settle on that because I just can’t be. I want to just die. I hate what my mind is doing to me. I hate I have to go through these thoughts alone. I hate everything. I just want to crawl in a hole and never see anyone. I just want to hug my boyfriend and have my thoughts erased. I’ve thought too much and too deep I can’t stop. I’m crying from sadness because I don’t know what’s real anymore and I never in a million years thought this is something I’d have to deal with.

Really struggling to not think I’m a bad person. Part of me is rational, but I keep going back. I don’t know what to do. How to keep functioning like this.

How open are you all about your ocd? Do you ever tell anyone? Right now everyone at work thinks I’m perfectly happy and that everything in my world is great. When in reality everything is falling apart and I’m depressed. It’s so hard when someone makes a comment like “you’re so perfect” or “you’ve got your life so together” when they don’t know what you’re going through and what mental battles you have to fight literally every minute of every day. This is why I want to tell the people around me, but I’m also worried they won’t understand. Can anyone relate to this?

How do you guys deal with jealousy? I’m so unbearably jealous of this girl and I hate it. It’s such an ugly emotion.

I have work at 4am tomorrow and normally am asleep by 9 or 10 at the latest to be up by 2:30. But the thoughts are so bad I’m afraid of even closing my eyes and lately I’ve been going to bed at 6pm to fall asleep by midnight. I’m so over this. Any tips for falling asleep without getting bad thoughts. I keep picturing imperfect things or reliving every event that triggered me throughout the day. Last night I literally tried falling asleep without closing my eyes (which is impossible) then had to work today running on 3 hours of heavily interrupted sleep. I’m so exhausted and just over this.

Hello, first time user of NOCD. I’ve had OCD for a long time. Pure-O in the subtypes of ROCD, Relationship OCD, HOCD, and POCD, among other temporary odd ones. It ebbs and flows as it has for the last several years, and I’d learned to manage it okay. But maybe not great enough. I hadn’t had POCD in a long time, but my wife and I just found out we’re having our first baby. I’m happy, genuinely, and I want to be the best father I can possibly be. But it reallt triggered my POCD really bad. In fact, I don’t think it’s peaked like it has in years. I want to be a good dad. So bad. But the intrusive thoughts won’t cease. My brain tells me, (Trigger Warning) that if I wanted to do something horrible to my (or any) baby (infant, toddler, any age) what would stop me? They’re helpless and innocent. Maybe that alone scares me. But then all the things associated with POCD come. And my brain is racked every idle minute, almost to the point where, as an involuntary mental check, it condemns me as if I was that way, or had already done something unspeakable. Leading to more OCD: “is it REALLY OCD? Or is it just actually supressed, and you won’t let yourself realize it?” I’ve never been sexually attracted in any way, shape, or form to children of any age range. I know this. But it’s the waves of “what ifs” and “what would stop you,” plus the general intrusive thoughts of POCD, that rack my brain, and make it near impossible to sleep until I fall asleep exhausted. I know this post is long, and I don’t know if it’s normal for this app, but please, if anyone has been through the same thing, especially those who experienced this with a baby on the way, I’d GREATLY appreciate advice and guidance. I just want to look forward to being a father. Thank you

my HOCD has been SO awful today. before this all started, i dated boys and loved getting attention from them and being with them. i never really payed attention to girls and never had any feelings towards any. now i can’t stop thinking about being in a gay relationship and it won’t leave my mind. whenever i go anywhere i stare at every girl and if they are even a little pretty i automatically imagine sexual scenarios in my head with them that i HATE. i don’t want to like them and i have been dealing with this for three months now and it’s been an utter nightmare. i don’t want to be gay. i never want to be gay. i just want to go back to how i was before. i can’t sleep anymore, go in public and i have even lost all of my appetite to eat so i’ve been losing weight. someone please help. i want this to be over.

Has anyone here had a bad trip on MDMA? I’d like to try it but weed wasn’t the best thing ever for me and I worry hahah.

Everyone is living a normal life and don’t have to question themselves and that’s when I really get sad!!! I see everyone talking about boys and them being cute but if I say something my brains like no you’re gay you have to say this. I used to be such a happy person before this happened to me.

Idk how to get over the abusive household I’ve lived in. Dad was emotionally and sometimes physically abusive. My mom and I would be verbally abusive to each other when I was growing up because she was sheltering and controlling, and I say things like I wish she was dead (I don’t mean any of this) and once she called my father when we were fighting and he was trying to hit me to teach me a lesson. My mom called the cops and everyone blamed me. I left for Dubai and lost my job there, and was isolated for months by an emotionally abusive boyfriend. Me and him had some quarrels and he would pretend to go to hit me and put his fist up to scare me but he never did and spit in my face. He sent me back home and my parents again treat me like a prisoner. I was jobless and so isolated I forgot how to socialize, and my mental state was so fragile. My mom would willingly drive me to any small interview I had (they got broke and sold a car so now I don’t have a car) and then when I got a job offer if it didn’t match what my mom thought was right for me she said “I’m not driving you to that job” and after months of control and isolation I pounced at her and attacked her pretty much. When my mom talks she knows how to provoke people and my anger over many years and also from my experience in Dubai made my blood boil and I felt so helpless. I’m 26 and I feel like I’m in a prison. Now I’m working in the city and a part time job on the weekend and mentally I’m feeling normal again but I think back to when I pounced at her out of anger and feeling like a POS. I thought I was gentle and she stayed at a friends house overnight while my dad scared me and said she went to the hospital. She also dug her nails into my head and I got hurt too. I keep trying to move out and I love my parents but there is so much resentment from the past. They would always threaten to take me out of college and told me what to major in. When I got HOCD at 14 I was scared I was gay and they said I should be shot. Now all my anger builds up and I’m the horrible one. Every time my mom complains of a headache I obsess I did it to her and caused health issues. She says she’s fine, it’s unrelated and she forgives me. We are going to go to therapy but it’s just abusive all around for many years mostly emotionally. Idk how to get rid of so much anger and resentment. When my dad punches my head it’s ok but if I do something it’s horrific.

Just read a Reddit forum it said that he thought he had hocd but was actually gay. He found out about that after meeting a gay men and is happy now. I feel really scared

hi! im doing very well. I struggled with HOCD for about a year and a half, and I believe a bit of other forms of ocd I am not comfy sharing, but hocd was my main struggle and I feel that’s important to note for anyone who’s struggling with that specifically- but this post is for anyone who could benefit. OCD is a mental disorder, it doesn’t just “go away” but it can be managed to where it feels like it has went away some days. But then your mind is like “what if I made up my OCD?!” And then you realize yeah i definitely still have it.. lmao. Anyway, here’s some advice from someone who has made MANY strides. 1.) if you can, get a GOOD therapist who you feel comfy with. CBT is the type of therapy I had. I know some may not have access, I suggest 7cups app which I did for one month over the summer last year when I was gone from my normal therapist. It’s 150$. The power to overcome is already inside of you- but the benefit of therapy is having someone to keep you on track and to teach you coping methods, but keeping you on track and reminding you of how far you have come is the best benefit. 2.) do not give into your compulsions. If you can’t get a therapist, this is the best advice I can give. Yes, the obsessions are bad, but the compulsions fuel them. At the beginning, I did this thing called a worry box, I would allow myself to worry for 5 minutes then after 5 minutes pack it all back up. Journaling helps too. 3.) to help with #2, something I started asking myself was: do I really wanna go down this road?, bc we all know how compulsions go. They only elongate the anxiety. 4.) count the baby steps- never let yourself forget how far you’ve come. 5.) don’t expect ocd to ever fully go away, accept it as a part of yourself and something you work around. At this point for me, it’s only annoying and no longer debilitating. 6.) each time you fight the urge to do a compulsion, it counts. even if you give in later that day. It’s something that takes practice. 7.) When obsessions arise, ask yourself if it has anything at all to do with this moment you are living in right now? It probably doesn’t. Be present. 8.) asking for reassurance is a compulsion - know this. — I’m sure I could think of some more, but this is what I felt what most helped me. I spent roughly 16 hours of everyday debilitated during my worst periods, maybe 3-5 hours a day when it started to get better, and now about 2-3 hours a day (but only the obsessions, I rarely give into compulsions now but please refer to #5... I gave into a compulsion about a month ago. But again to #4, it doesn’t take away any of my progress.) Sorry this is long, hope it helped. I’ll try and answer any questions below!

ROCD: how do I do ERP while I'm with my partner? How can I prevent myself doing compulsions without compromising the time spent with him?

I’ve never truly opened up about my story with anyone but I’d like to share with those who may understand.. Since I was 5 years old I have memories of (well I think they are memories although when I recall them, they feel like dreams. So they might have been or they’re just false memories) but I have this memory of engaging in not sexual acts but maybe kissing my older brother or maybe younger. Now it gave me so much anxiety because I had no idea and I still have no idea if it is true or not. That ate me alive for so long. But as a young girl I struggled with very bad anxiety, it was... well I’ve never officially got diagnosed with OCD but I read up on it a few years back and finally felt less alone. I always had intrusive sexual thoughts whether it was about children, family members, even God.. I had no idea what it was and I felt disgusted by it. It was unbearable anxiety. I’ve always struggled with those thoughts and depression and anxiety. But even as an adult, sometimes I may see a photo of my younger brother, who is now growing into a young man, and I get this thought or feeling of thinking he is cute. Which confuses me because I question myself and whether I am secretly attracted to him. Like what if I’m just using OCD as a justification? I’d never engage in any kind of sexual activity with any family member, that just sounds DISGUSTING. But I really am confused. And it makes me wonder. Was I abused as a child? And do I not remember? I don’t know

Who here hates it when someone says they have ocd and other people like me that actually has ocd know's that most of the time people with ocd wouldn't say out loud in front of a lot of people that say "btw i have ocd because i like things clean and organized" please please people who say that they have ocd be aware of your surroundings cause somebody else that is in the same room as you might have ocd and might find it affending

Can anybody help mee