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Anyone struggling with hocd going through this: growing up (18 now) I've never had a boyfriend or even my first kiss. I'm super awkward with that type of stuff for some reason and just don't know why. So any opportunity of having a serious boyfriend I was always uncomfortable and said no. That also had to do with me not liking my body and thinking that a guy would find it super ugly and unlovable. So with that being said I'm afraid I'm a lesbian or bi and like I don't find boys attractive anymore. I'm scared cause I want to be with a guy but I'm afraid I'll never find a guy I want to be with and find out in the long run I'm a lesbian or something. I don't want to be with girls but ocd is kicking me in my ass. Telling me that only girls are attractive, picking apart anything I find attractive on a guy and it makes me sad. Also sorry for the tmi but I'm afraid I won't find a penis attractive and that's that and I'm lesbian. I know I have to accept the unknown but I'm truly terrified cause of my past that it is set that I'm bi or lesbian and just was too stupid to know it.

Im lowkey accepting everything. I sccepted i dont like boys anymore. I accepted that i lost my attravtion. And the acceptence comes with not really missing it anymore. I lowkey think its more about forgetting what it used to be like to really be into boys to the point where im like aight, i dont miss it bc i dont know what im missing. It just feels emptt but im not continuously feeling sad about how i dont like boys and how im missing them u know. Im jusr like numb and i just be like uhhh when am i going to feel snything again.

Trigger warning - is it possible to have an eating d*sorder theme ? has anyone had this ?

I have a first date tonight with someone from tinder. We are getting drinks at 8. I think hooking up might be a possibility But I am getting serious cold feet. Super anxious about it. I am afraid I’ll get a panic attack on the date and it will ruin it. Or that I would be sooo fucking awkward on the date that it won’t go well Haven’t been on a date in over a year. What should I do? I can’t reschedule. And I know that it isn’t going I get easier for me if I don’t try. I am literally gagging and dry heaving for past day about it.

Talking to my boyfriend about taking a break until I can figure this shit out ? feeling like I know the underlying cause to my themes

I just started dating again after nearly a year of being single I downloaded tinder and I got two first dates with two different girls this weekend. I kind of impulsively booked one on Saturday and one on Sunday because I felt like unless I make plans, then They might lose interest I am very nervous. Especially considering I have a strong feeling at least one wants to hook up. Which I am for because i haven’t has sex in a long long time. So I have a lot of anxieties about it. One is a fear I will have a panic attack when I am on the date. The other is the pressure of talking or meeting with more than one person. I want to find someone I eventually could have relationship with. I have these obsessional paranoia about juggling more than one person at a time. Even worried about continuing to use tinder to find someone new. I know it is crazy. It is tinder. They probably talking to other guys too. And I haven’t even met these girls yet. I just have this insecurity about being honest about that. My relationship ocd has always trapped me in bad relationships for fears of rejection and also because of loneliness and insecurity. So I don’t have a history of making good judgments when it comes to picking people. I am mostly worried about how to come up with alibis to one or the other girl about my plans with the other person Worried text messages or stuff will happen that will lead to the other finding out. If not now, eventually if things go well with both The long and short of it is. I feel pressure to pick and settle for one girl before I even meet any of these girls and I have only been talking to either for a week on text message. I just feel a ton of pressure and I know I shouldn’t put all eggs In one basket. And work on being social. But I have a lot of anxiety. This weekend feels more like work than excitement. I don’t want to cancel. Too late for that. But I don’t know how to handle the pressures of juggling more than one interest. I feel pressure to give my undivided attention to each so I won’t be rejected Does anyone have any advice or strategies on navigating this?

Not sure how much of these thoughts I can take, I feel like everyday I'm getting closer and closer to insanity. I can't get the thoughts out, I can't see a reason to live, I can't do anything. I just hide in my room because of this monster I think I am, and feel like I shouldn't be allowed outdoors. I don't wanna die but this pain won't go away. I hope one day it gets better.

how long should my obsessive thoughts last about my boyfriend if i have rocd ? usually i have a bad period where i think i have lost feelings for him and then it comes back but i’ve been feeling anxious and having these constant thoughts for days now. i’m trying not to do my compulsions but even when i do i don’t get the feeling of loving him back i just don’t get the constant thoughts and anxiety. is this rocd or do i actually just not like my boyfriend ? i’m not formally diagnosed with rocd but i have done so much research and my habits and thoughts sound exactly like examples of those suffering from rocd. i thought that i had it and now i’m scared i don’t and i just don’t love him. but then i also know that that’s another symptom of rocd that the ocd convinces you that you don’t actually have rocd and you just don’t have feelings for them so now i’m scared and confused. can anyone tell me if they think that i have rocd please

Is so tiring having HOCD/SOOCD and TOCD and explain to others... If you open to people they don't understand at all and just say some shit like: "Maybe you are this" "Maybe you are that" and maybe you can eat my ass, I guess. Listen, if the problem was I have to decide or not to be something, that would be beautiful. Then I just choose one and I will be happy with my life. But, wow, you know, I CAN'T CHOOSE.

Hey guys, haven’t used this app in a while because my ocd hasn’t been there at all and I’ve felt great! Today sadly I think it’s made a reappearance (at least I think it’s ocd). I broke up with my ex a little over a month ago, and I’m seeing a new guy (don’t judge I know it seems too soon but I’m really happy and my last relationship got quite toxic). I don’t hate my ex, neither of us cheated or anything just too much toxicity and arguments and it was kind of a mutual agreement to end things. Today my friend sent me a snapchat memory of a mugshot of my ex from 3 years ago. I didn’t think anything of it and I haven’t really thought about my ex as I’ve been happy in my new blossoming relationship. I told my new guy about the picture and he asked if I felt some type of way and I said not at all just annoyed that my friend sent it as it’s immature to do. And then I got to overthinking and feeling guilty for leaving my ex, feeling nostalgic, feeling guilty for moving on so quickly etc as 3 years ago I was happy with my ex. I don’t know if this means I haven’t moved on or if it’s my ocd latching on again. I’ve honestly been so happy recently and feel like myself again after ages and I hate that is is ruining it. Can someone please help.

This can't be true. I simply cannot be a lesbian. I don't feel like one, I can't simply accept I'm one. I can't picture myself with a woman, this isn't internalized homophobia, this has nothing to do with whatever sort of prejudice my ocd has previously lead me to believe I had. I do not. And prejudice wouldn't have this effect on me, denial wouldn't. It's just impossible to feel this bad towards such thing for what? Ten months? It isn't possible that this would torture me continuously every day for ten months. It wouldn't make me cry, make me want to die, it wouldn't make me doubt everything that made me who I am. This is a pathology, hocd is an illness. I'm certain that I'm addicted to porn, and this simply wrecked my life. My body responds to lesbian porn, and then my mind goes crazy from doubt. "What if it means something?" I start shaking, thinking about how this life is sh*t and how ruined I am. Porn makes me feel gross, like I'm being touched without my permission. Thinking about a relationship with a woman makes me feel uneasy. I feel so so lonely, so isolated, so unlovable.

My ROCD tells me that I don’t love my boyfriend, that I’m a liar and a fraud and that I feel nothing. I know this isn’t true deep down, but then my mind speaks to me in the third person and says “she doesn’t mean it, she doesn’t feel anything for him”, like I’m looking at him from above, it really confuses me, and I’m not very happy, I feel empty and void, because my mind is telling me thoughts I don’t want, I WANT to be happy.

Do you guys know/remember how YOUR ocd started? Just interested, that’s all.

I'm sad because my attractions are completely flipped now. It feels as though I'm attracted to girls and not attracted to guys at all. Every attempt to be attracted to a guy is forced and feels not genuine. Every girl I see now I get full on arousal. The feeling towards girls is so intense now that even if I do experience real attraction towards guys it feels fake compared to girls. I'm disgusted. I don't like this. I feel like I'm being touched without my permission in a way. Has anyone experienced this and then went back to normal?

Tw: death and panic attacks I think I just had an extreme panic attack, basically my mom picked me up and as we were driving I saw an ambulance, I didn’t know where it was going then I looked on the floor and there was an old woman on the floor. There was two people with her, I thought that she might have slipped or something because I would feel like the people around her would look more distressed idk. But then my mom goes she’s dead, I got really stressed and kept saying why did you say that why did you say that and almost was going to cry. And then a few seconds later I couldn’t breathe my chest was overworking and I could feel my lungs struggling, (I have asthma so I thought maybe it’s an asthma attack) but my inhaler wasn’t working and there was nothing to trigger it. And usually I cough a lot if I have an asthma attack and my chests aches afterwards. But after I could feel my heart beating in my chest, I think because I got so worked up.

Any tips when you’re feeling really low with depression??? Please ?

Does my partner have undiagnosed ROCD/ocd in general? He has trichotillomania and has done for years. He’s had a history of convincing himself in the past he had rabies from an animal, nearly made himself agoraphobic for six months as a result until he “had a stern word with himself” hes also has described to me of feeling like flinging himself off a balcony and lately complains of feeling jittery. My main reason for thinking this, is that we have only been together for a year and in that time he’s fake dumped me at least five times, which in turn flares up MY rocd because I’m terrified of being abandoned and need to check he still likes me etc His narcissistic ex is still around due to work and caused issues interfering initially which was the first time he said he “should” stop seeing me. We continued to see each other. Then went on a long weekend away together Then he said it wasn’t fair again Then went on ANOTHER long weekend away together Then he said he wasn’t interested and I had to leave and cut it off immediately after I tried to broach my std paranoia making me think he would leave me etc, said I was opening a can of worms and he doesn’t want it anymore. I left for the day and he admitted he didn’t want me to go and picked me up. Then he took me abroad Then he said it again the other night. We talked about his bitch ex and then he drunkenly brought up my past. Admitted he thinks that so many bad experiences I had before him I MUST have wanted it and at times he questioned if I’m for him and still does. Said it’s complicated and he nearly once walked out of my flat and never returned, except he didn’t do that. Then he took me to the cinema after we talked. Now he’s saying he feels empty and doesn’t know how he feels in general and it must be frustrating for me He’s never once actually left me, just essentially fucking dangled it as a possibility multiple times. Now we are meant to go for a long weekend away again and I’m shitting myself to be quite frank. Can’t look forward to it and don’t trust it won’t happen again. I feel doomed.

Other people with ocd, telling people with ocd not to do compulsions seems hypocritical to me I especially find it hard when they’re fine and dandy now and have “seen the light” so expect people to go him yeah I’ll just stop” That’s how I see erp too. Stop doing the things you already didn’t wanna be doing in the first place just to function God I’m angry

I just posted a picture on my WhatsApp status and everyone commented dope or fire even Dudes last year on my Instagram and I didn’t see anything wrong with it and now my other friend said I don’t look like myself and it’s a bit Gay imagine 10 months ago everyone said it was fire and now that I’m going through this someone comments that ? I’m trying hard not to panic but fuck ?? I’m breaking down

My old ocd symptoms were around checking safety in the house, locks, doors and windows, the cooker etc I recovered from that for years, and I just realised all this time I’ve subconsciously been telling myself “well if I REALLY had ocd, those things would still bother me and get in the way of my life, so I MUST have been faking it” Ocd hasn’t bothered me much for years. Just the odd bit of checking but it’s manageable. Now, my obsessions are “what if I have an std and my partner thinks I cheated and leaves me” , because all this time I’ve been feeling like I faked ocd due to fucking RECOVERING from it, I struggle to see this as ocd cuz my mind tells me it’s not ocd and therefore my worries MUST BE REAL