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POCD How are you supposed to accept uncertainty and move on when you feel so uncertain about ur attraction?

For the past... I want to say week or so, I've had extreme paranoia that has been clinging to certain subtypes. One of them is my virtual footprint. I've been cutting down on social media a lot to remedy this, even considering deleting some major chatting apps to reduce this anxiety. But my worst case scenario is a data breach that will expose everyone to this, where noone is safe, as I know a lot of these apps don't even delete messages when you delete your account. It's driving me kinda crazy. I think about it the second I wake up and it continues foe the rest of the day. I can't even focus on work and my deadlines are coming up soon. I know I've grown up a lot over the years, but the idea of my trauma induced hypersexuality years being exposed and other conversations I've had with friends that I thought were private makes me very scared. Am I overthinking things? Am I trapping myself in a place I'll never escape from? Anyone else have the same flareups I've had and if so, how did you escape this?

hi, i honestly don't know if anyone is even active on this app anymore. i just randomly found it on the app store but i figure i'd try making a post. i'm turning 18 soon and getting married to this wonderful guy that i met in the summer of '25 with no second thoughts. he's the most amazing person to me ever. but what concerns us deeply is my obsession with his past relationships, it's not mostly stem out of curiosity, it's just anxiety. i recently found out it's RJ (a form of OCD) and it's really depressing because i've always thought of myself as being neurotypical. it's been really painful for us both. we'd be having the best time and then i'd just ask him questions, he'd reassure me, next i'd crash out and have several panic attacks. we're doing long distance temporarily right now and that just makes it infinitely harder. we looked it up online and try reassuring phrases whenever a thought pops up like : it's OCD it's not me. and for a while it worked, until it doesn't and i'm just left there overwhelmed with constant images playing in my head that i cannot control, it is exhausting and affect my daily life so much. i don't want therapy or any form of medications since i don't trust them. i noticed that i only feel this with him, because i truly have only loved this man. but that does not make it fair for us either since he and i both do not have 'clean' pasts. i just want to put it out there so maybe you, the person reading, know you're not alone. i hope just looking at the title helps and thank you for reading till here if you did. i pray that God help us through this. Amen :)

The accepting/agreeing with thoughts people mention has always been confusing to me and a barrier, if you’re having thoughts that are completely out of character or immoral how do you agree with them? I’d be scared of convincing myself i am whatever the thoughts are if I’m agreeing with them, or is that supposed to be part of the process? Am i misunderstanding what that means? I’ve definitely dissociated because of my intrusive thoughts too (from the stress of it, and fighting in my head 24/7 being exhausting), as in a bit emotionally numb and not present, so it seems even harder to “accept” them when i’ve been more-so intellectualizing these thoughts than feeling extreme emotion about it all the time

does anyone else work in emergency medicine? i find it really hard dealing with the responsibility of it im always so worried ive hurt my pt or missed something crucial or noticed something crucial but what if no one else thought it was crucial and no one is gonna listen to a pct telling you to do a stroke scale on your pt lol. (im a pct) among so many other things from today im now worried and cant stop ruminating and checking a senerio today where i was helping transfer a pt onto a stretcher and holding up the bar that holds the life pack (bc long person lol) and then with out thinking i let go of the bar and idk if it even made contact w the pt and the paramedic assesed it and said he saw no mark and the pt even said their foot didnt hurt so the paramedic said good enough for me and took them on their way but now all i can think abt is omg what if it hit the pt and broke their foot and nobody reported it or had the dr look at it like i mean the pt was a&o enough to speak for themself if they were hurt to my recollection but im so concerned ive been ai googling for reassurance for hours the other instances from today are much bigger but this is definitely more realistically in my scope of responsibility than the other things ive crashed out abt today ems is so fun but also im constantly looping like this and i dont think im cut out for it w my anxiety im worried it makes me worse than others i highkey feel i should quit i cant get it out of my head that maybe that pt has an injury and its my fault even though the pt and paramedic both said it was chill

I know God is loving but he is also all powerful and is not playing around with sin and a righteous judge. And it’s scary I feel like I want to be more strict and tell everyone like we have to lock in legit but then don’t want them to think I’m wack for being so extreme out of nowhere but then feel like I’ll fixate over certain sins or problems in my life then when I get distracted I just go back to normal living and then re spiral days later like I’m not changing anything

Been having a bad week not getting sleep and was triggered by something said. I had been struggling with hit and run OCD (I’ve managed to no longer stop to check while driving) and recently the thoughts have come back. Tonight is the worst after being triggered by what was said and I’m starting to question if I actually did do something and I’m just like not remembering I did it. I have weird thoughts that my husband is in on it with the FBI and they’re gonna like drag me off to jail any minute. Why is this happening to me? Also the person who made a joke about me being a killer, (talking about my maiden name was still on some things, which led to someone saying it’s my alias and then the other person said cuz she’s a secret killer) should my husband tell them I have this specific OCD and stuff like that really fs with me? But also would they even understand or would they just think I’m crazy? Has anyone who has this OCD ever told anyone and if so how did it go?

I feel like since I got depressed I have been getting I instructive thoughts . It started with a lot of agitation always feeling like I wanted to snap like no patience then I felt everyone and everything annoyed me and I felt I was going to snap or hurt them . Then I started to feel guilty and get thoughts that I do not love my child and I felt disconnected for everyone ! Then I recently started getting thoughts that I want to die and I can’t live like This but not really wanting to . Then I started getting thoughts well what’s the purpose on living we are just going to die anyways , then I panic then feel like the world isn’t real and I’m in a dream , I’m disconnected from myself . This is aweful I don’t wish this i on my worse enemy , idk what to do anymore ;( I recently tried a ssri no change yet but praying it ends up working , I can’t live like this

Please someone help. I know it’s taboo, that’s why no one seems to want to help me. I feel lost. There is a false allegation from years ago, it was chaos, I’ve explained the story before and everything. Everyone who knows the story has the same view as me, and I don’t worry about them. But me? My brain has recently decided years later, that this event from high school is what I’m going to obsess over. It is hell. My fiance laid the story out for me completely, it has never changed from the moment he told to years later now. But I keep FORGETTING. My OCD makes up what if’s, forgets the story so people have to repeat it, and then it makes FALSE MEMORIES?? And it hits me with what if it’s true even though it’s not and it’s one of those situations there is no certainty. There is only matter of character, history, and the fact the accuser at one point changed their mind and said they don’t know why they said that. I’m stressed. Cause yesterday I had a great day, I felt lighter and I felt like the obsession was finally ending but today it’s back and I want to cry so bad. I can’t stop being afraid I’ll be punished. It mixes religion and morals into it too. I feel horrible despite judging this situation years ago when it was fresh and for years feeling safe, certain in my conclusion, and everyone else having the same outcome. It’s just not fair it’s attacking me now that I’m finally safe and comfortable in my life with my fiancé. I need help with these what if’s. I can’t take it anymore I’m afraid I’ll implode my life. What do I do?

I want to start reading more for better vocabulary and just for my brain in general but ugh i'm just so scared of new books or even movies,scared of a new theme which may be triggering and before someone says "just push trought it" I don't get why would I read something that will make me feel terrible later on,reading in my free time should feel enjoyable Can anyone relate :)?

Does anyone else miss the old them before ocd. Now all I do is self isolate from my anxiety and I do t drive it ride in a car or have any friends. I miss not having anxiety. Will this ever go away? Has anyone had success with their ocd going away?

My boyfriend and I have been going through a “rough” patch since this Wednesday. Basically I saw this rando on Tuesday and my brain started hyper fixating on him and creating a false narrative for that guy and saying things like “oh he’ll probably do this unlike my bf” My bf and I had a very honest discussion too bc we’ve both been struggling with mismatched libidos and making each other feel loved in one another’s love language’s. Ever since that Wednesday, I have been obsessively doubting if I should breakup with my boyfriend. Does this sound like rocd? It’s like I wake up with the doubts, am fine for a little, then it comes back, especially at night and 10x worse. I can’t tell if we should or shouldn’t break up. I can’t tell if I love him or if I’m falling out of love. I cry about the idea of breaking up but then the part of me that hyper fixated on that dude is like looking at that guy as a scapegoat. I’ve hyper fixated on others before but it’s never been this bad, at least not that I can remember. But it’s like after this rough patch (where I shared my fears and we both talked about what we need), I had fully convinced myself that we are gonna breakup and now I like imagine my life without him, my room without his stuff, how I’d be at school, etc. Plus if I truly didn’t love him or didn’t want to be with him, would I truly even care this much??? Ik with my ex I didn’t. Does anyone have any advice or tips?

Adults only I no longer feel in control of my porn use. I'm going to admit it. I have a porn addiction. I have a problem. I want to get help but I'm in the process of switching therapists. Just tonight, where it's 5 in the morning, I was compulsively googling about my escalation to celebrity porn and the ethics and legality of it, and then I found myself seeing a pornographic sub reddit. I clicked on it and scrolled endlessly on it. I hated it because I saw more of that celebrity pornography that I worry about that's digitized and animated, but I felt a rush and felt excited from scrolling from people being very sexual. I hated it deep down but I can't say no to it. It's literally like a drug that gives me a hit. I'm literally getting hits from this and I go back to it because nothing feels as strong as that. Through my entire day, I felt like garbage because of porn, yet it's also the very same thing that helps me escape those thoughts and those feelings, which is why I binge on it over and over again, sometimes several times in a day. I hate that I also saw things that disturbed me and knew people shouldn't have shared those things like fictional minors. I hate that shit. I hate going back to porn but it's something I can't push aside. I try to rationalize it, justify it, and ignore the shame but deep down I just can't. I need help. At least I know acknowledge that and start with that. I just hope I can get the help I need. Every single day I feel so much shame when it comes to the people close to me knowing all of the things I've seen over the years. I get so much disgust and disappointment in myself from this yet I just can't seem to say no to it.

i don't know what to call this, i don't know how to word any of this but i'm in dire need of help. i saw a TikTok video that brought back a memory from one of my past relationships. When i was 16 i was in a very sexual relationship that was incredibly traumatising in so many ways. Eventually i was sexually assaulted by my ex but horrifically that was just the norm, it all revolved around casual sexual things like it meant nothing at all. She'd do things and it'd make me believe they were okay to do too or i'd have a sexual thought and because it was all so casual i thought it was okay to do. I want to say i never once laid a hand where it wasn't welcome but i did however do something very wrong that broke boundaries and consent. It had no malicious intent, no bad thoughts and was not intended to be harmful because i genuinely didn't know it wasn't right. I feel there is no way out of this consuming guilt and i feel like i don't deserve to feel sad over my assault because i also did wrong. Since this bad memory resurfaced my compulsions are taking over my life, i have to do everything anti clockwise, i can only pick things up with my left hand and put things down with my right, as if that's gonna make it go away. I am truly horrified at my younger self and everytime i see a little light at the end of the tunnel i remember. Then i feel i dont deserve anything at all. I need help. now i have grown so much as a person and my girlfriend says her favourite thing about me is how much i care about consent and her being happy when it comes to the sexual side, she vaguely knows what happened but i always get a pit in my stomach when she says this. after my assault i have become extremely passionate about working with survivors, i have worked for months donating money to rape charities and now i feel i cant do that either. (edited)

I seem to struggle to get close to my female friends because as soon as I do I get really bad anxiety and my OCD flares up telling me I’m in love with them and I pull away and then my mental health declines and it happened a few years ago and I can’t do that again.

I can’t go one day without having to ask for reassurance and annoying my husband everything was starting to get better at first than once a again my mind flooded with dumb worries I hate this besides sitting with the thought does anyone have any advice on how to keep from asking reassurance

Hi, I was just diagnosed with pure OCD and struggle with health, moral scrupulosity, somatic. I don’t have any compulsions, just obsessions and ruminating. I also have bipolar 2, ADHD, PTSD, depression and anxiety, which has been mostly managed with my medications Effexor, Lamictal and Abilify. I read that some of my meds (Lamictal and abilify) can worsen OCD in some bipolar people. I talk to my doctor on Tuesday about this, I’m wondering if anyone else has bipolar and OCD? How do you treat it? I can’t change my Effexor because it controls my fibromyalgia pain. And the Abilify is really helping my depression… but I don’t know what to do.

All my life, I never touched weed. There are many different reasons for this, but one of the main ones was that it was illegal. Then, in 2020, after experimenting too hard and fast with alcohol, I knew I had to stop that. I did and was MISERABLE. Then I remembered marijuana was legal, tried it out of desperation, and it worked miraculously. All my life, I avoided drugs and alcohol until I turned 21 and started drinking. Of course, that never really helped solve anything. Marijuana, however… I got back into college and eventually graduated, held my first full-time job, got my first girlfriend, became more socially adept, and started to feel genuine happiness and contentment for the first time in my life. The way I usually put it: I FINALLY got a grip. 5 years later, I’m in a rough spot again emotionally. Really rough. And it’s not getting any better. And I’m not sure if it’s the marijuana or not. And I don’t know if even taking a break from the marijuana will help, or make this episode even worse! I’m just not sure what to do here.

I'm constantly double-checking my thoughts, I can't get used to it, I can't get used to the fact that my thoughts are not the whole of me, I find all the Things around me exhausting, I already want to just be silent and not feel anything. I'm afraid of my head. It's like my heart is squeezing inside. I feel sick. I'm scared. My head feels unsafe for me. I can't escape into reality and action, taking care of myself from these thoughts that I'm doing everything wrong and that something is not perfect, I don't feel anything. I'm really scared.. I forget that there are other feelings besides OCD.

Hi everyone. I'm really struggling with OCD therapy. It feels so intense and almost “violent” to me — the idea that talking in psychotherapy can change your brain (not literally, but the synapses and patterns), and medication can change it too. And those changes can last forever, except maybe during some life crisis when the “wrong” brain function can return. It’s also hard for me when people who used to have severe OCD talk like they barely have it anymore. My OCD interprets it as if they’re “cured”, even though OCD is chronic. When my doctor or therapist talks about me “getting better”, I feel pressured to become one of those success stories too. Even if someone innocently asks me "Are you feeling better?" I feel so annoyed. Even remission feels scary — like I’d be moved from the “OCD group” to the “Without OCD” group too fast, just because I’m improving quickly, not because it feels natural. And when people say things like “you just need to learn to live with uncertainty”, it doesn’t help. It feels like more pressure to change my thinking patterns or “synapses” in a way I’m not ready for, which sometimes makes it hard to work on these things in therapy at all. Has anyone else felt this way? I feel like people talk a lot about the good sides of therapy, but not enough about the difficult parts.