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Im writting this before I sleep so sorry the mistakes but. Right now Im fighting with Ocd a battle that went on for too long and the thing I know is that Im doing thr right thing now by facing my fears and not letting it affect me. I know I'm on the right path but I can't stop doubting everything and I don't know how to deal with that. I think I know? But I'm sooo tired now and scared that I would like to hear from someone else. If anyone has any tips for not doubting every choice you made in your life, every choice you are making now and the ones you will make in the future please leave them below they could really help.

hi everyone.. this is my first post. i have been dealing with this for about 6 months. i am undiagnosed but im pretty sure ive dealt with health ocd in the past. but at first it started with me questioning if my boyfriend was cheating or if he loved me. it drove me nuts. but it seems to have switched the other way around.. im stuck wondering if i love him or if i want to be with him. its gotten to a point where i dont freak out about the thoughts and i feel like i force myself to think about it. after i quit my job it feels like its been non stop for the last 2 months at first i checked my attraction, tested my feelings, asked for tons of reassurance, felt false feelings for coworkers. and for compulsions i look on reddit, facebook, tiktok, instagram after i stopped telling my boyfriend my thoughts because i knew it was hurting him. ive always freaked out about my sexuality as well. the thoughts are now what ifs and flat out statements which is even scarier. no amount of reassurance from the compulsions work anymore. i dont know if i have rocd. my heart pounds as i write this. i want this all to stop, i remember really enjoying the peace and love in my relationship. but even when im feeling fine i still freak out that it might be fake and im forcing myself. i feel nothing, i have bothering quitting compulsions ive tried its so hard. again, i am undiagnosed. i stopped checking my feelings or at least thats what i think? i do check my pupils often to see if they get big when i think about him cause ive seen online that it means you love someone lol. we’ve been together for 3 years and living together for about 2 years. i dont know what to do im stuck i dont know what to think anymore. i want to love him and be me again. sometimes i cant even label what im anxious about. i get anxious when the thoughts arent bothering me. and i get anxious when they do. is this rocd? or am i just kidding myself. if youve read this thank you for reading.

Hi, I’m struggling with severe OCD intertwined with religious trauma. I was raised Christian and deeply indoctrinated, and now I’m trying to step away from Christianity, but my brain keeps telling me I’m being punished by God for not believing “correctly.” I’ve experienced manipulation, SA, and abuse by multiple men, including being targeted when I was extremely vulnerable and desperate for love. I carry a lot of shame and self-blame, even though I know logically that I was manipulated. My OCD tells me these things happened because I didn’t pray enough, read the Bible enough, or surrender my life to God properly. I don’t want to be Christian anymore, but I still have intrusive fears about salvation, God hating me, or withholding love from me (like a partner) as punishment. I’m exhausted by religious guilt and constant rumination about Jesus, scripture, and whether I’m “wrong” or unsafe spiritually. I just want peace, safety, and the ability to want love without feeling like I’m being punished by a higher power. I’m looking for help coping with religious OCD, shame, and intrusive belief-based thoughts. (Here is my ocd at the end again, I still believe in God/ I just cannot read the bible or pray or else I feel like I’m doing it wrong, or God must hate me because ALL of my friends are married but i get sexually assaulted bc that’s what my OCD tells me God thinks I deserve) and that I don’t deserve real love. Gods withholding from me because I must have done something wrong or I am not reading my bible.

Could someone please reply To my Post because I’m worried I won’t be able to sleep😢😢

if you can, read my last post. I think I’m mourning my ex coworker’s sudden passing. I’m ok at times but then get this wave of sadness & cry. I just finished crying to type this out. I don’t know what I’m feeling but I can tell I’m feeling down. I didn’t know him very well and wasn’t close to him but knew him enough to sort of know his personality. it’s just so unfair. he was too young. WAY too young. younger than me. today is his birthday and he was supposed to turn 21. I think I’m feeling periods of grief and then it’s like this numbness…… if I’m like this over someone I wasn’t so close with….I can’t imagine when it comes to my loved ones….. this is so unfair. he was supposed to live. I don’t know what caused it other than it being a car accident. maybe it could’ve been prevented. maybe it couldn’t. I read a comment on a post about his death saying something about “wasn’t he speeding down the road?” so I don’t know if he caused his own death but I just exited out of the page. it feels strange. this is my first time hearing of someone who I knew had passed. and I feel like it’s fueling my current fear of losing my loved ones very soon or suddenly this year or maybe next month. I didn’t have that fear before and now it’s here bothering me. help. can anyone share tips to feel better??? or to cope better??? and about the fear thing, how to overcome it??? I hate that my brain is putting many thoughts…..man, I wish there was a cure so I wouldn’t have to worry much… should I just focus on myself, do my hw and spend time with my family??? I don’t know if it would be rude on his birthday…. I asked my dad if we could have another movie night & he said yes. I’m just sad. someone comfort me :(

Last night I was laying in bed unable to sleep and I heard someone walking outside my room. I’ve been having an ocd flare up recently but last night I randomly started having thoughts about stabbing my mum and I was laying there and I started playing out the scenario in my head imagining it and I kept imagining it and I don’t know why but it felt like I wanted it or as if I was ‘planning to be evil’ by imagining these scenarios because if I don’t like it why would I keep imagining it and almost feel like I wanted to imagine it and it just felt really real and I didn’t feel anything at first but I started getting anxiety but then I was thinking what if it’s adrenaline and I’m evil I couldn’t distinguish which one it was and I suddenly felt like I had to go toilet from that feeling and I started crying and I was like ‘shaking/shivering’ while I went toilet but at the same time it suddenly felt like I had ‘become evil’ like as if I could suddenly be bad and do that and as if I wanted it I can’t explain it but it almost feels like what if I’m being influenced and now I actually am evil or want to be and I don’t want to be bad but it felt like that and I’m worried and my head makes me feel like ‘you could actually be evil if you decided to’ and it scares me but I don’t even know how I really feel I’ve had this problem for years and I’ve become more numb to it and each time I go through an episode I find it more difficult to understand how I feel as the anxiety isn’t as prominent as it use to be 😕😕 I’ve been feeling down all day but I wanted to try and pick myself up from this depressed state but I feel like if I do it’s as if there is actually something wrong with me and I can’t be happy. Also I just keep feeling this pending horrible doom anxious feeling of ‘you could still decide to be evil and maybe you are and you like it and your just denying your true nature’ it feels as if I’m pretending to be good and even when I tell my mum about it I feel like I’m faking being sad and secretly want to do those things 🙁🙁 I don’t even feel like I deserve to say I’m sad because I feel like I’m faking it and actually am evil and want these things

Feelings are confusing and can create negative false beliefs if i’m not careful. Intellect is more reliable cuz it’s based off facts. Sure I feel like a loser, but intellectually I know I’m not a loser. I also try to take into consideration what God believes before I form my own beliefs. Hope this helps 🤍

So if I’ve been seeing signs to fast and keep being disobedient to that will It cause me to be unsaved if I keep not listening

I feel so consumed by fear and dread about everything! It’s so hard to do my work and go about my day - it’s always in the back of my mind that something horrible is going to happen. Whether that is something to do with my health/safety or the state of the world. My OCD/anxiety experience is newer - I took a medication that ramped up a manageable level of anxiety to a VERY high one. I am trying to do my exposures and avoid checking, but the last couple of days it’s been so hard to do and I haven’t been very successful. It’s the worst when I’m alone. On top of all that I can’t continue NOCD therapy bc I don’t have insurance to cover it. I’m feeing really lost and scared!

my body is not in equilibrium and is not 100% and thus i am panicking. it has not gone away and i despise my brain for not letting me just go on with my life. i think this is hell

Hi everyone! I thought it would be nice to have a post for people to comment and chat, whether they just want to talk to others or they need some support and encouragement, so I decided I'd post. ˓ ࣪꒰ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ꒱ .°₊ I'll leave some questions (and answers) in case anyone wants something specific to talk about: — How have you been doing? Anything interesting happen recently? ꪔ̤̱ ❀ Cyrene Answer: I'm doing okay! I had a few really rough days recently, but the past 2-3 days I've been really good about not doing compulsions and my fiancé agreed that I've been doing a lot better in terms of my anxiety (I cry a lot when I'm engaging in compulsions or feeding my OCD bubble, so it's easy to tell if I'm doing bad). ദ്ദി^._.^) — Do you have anything planned for the week or weekend? If not, this is your chance to ask for suggestions! ❀ Cyrene Answer: I don't have anything planned yet, but my fiancé and I might do something over the weekend. It'll be in the negatives however, which will be the coldest weather I've ever been in, so... that should be interesting! ( ⌯'-'⌯) — Do you need any support or encouragement from others lately? (Reassurance seeking is a no-no, don't feed your compulsions!) ❀ Cyrene Answer: Honestly, I get a lot of reassurance just from coming onto this app and seeing all of the other people who're suffering with the same disorder as me. We're all struggling with a disorder that is consistently ranked in the top 10 most difficult and debilitating mental disorders to have, so... we're kind of goated for still trying our best every day and caring so much about things that our brain actively beats us up over. Yay us! (ฅ'ω'ฅ)♪

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I can’t stop freaking out about this along time ago I saw a weird mark on my husbands chest asked him what it was he said he didn’t know and that it kinda looks like a hicky and asked if I gave him one I didn’t remember giving him one though and ever since then i been scared thinking the worst what else could it be ??? And how do I not worry he has sworn to GOD And on the Bible that he’s never cheated several times something I have him do I know it’s not right but it’s the only thing that helps for a bit he’s starting to get mad every time I bring it up it was almost 2 years ago when we where engaged but it really messes with my mind whenever that pops in my head and there was a girl that would try to hit on him I thought at least while in front of me even though he doesn’t pick up on signs that lived at our apartment complex that we stayed in for a year while I was pregnant with our son I can’t bare to think he would do anything to betray my trust and I really wanna believe him but there was also a time a random girl messaged him one he used to hang out with several years before we met saying hi he never responded and even blocked her for me too around that time I tried bringing her up worrying what if what if what if recently he got mad because he’s tired of constant questions about his loyalty and having to swear to GOD He’s very religious too so I understand it annoys him and maybe even feels disrespectful but when I recently brought her up and asked him if they used to be intimate because he said he only went on a few dates he said none of your business I feel like I have the right to know though like why is she messaging him randomly I mean yeah he never responded but what if he deleted messages on Fb what if what if what if but he eventually told he that he never did anything with her which would have been 11 years ago before we had met and I guess it doesn’t matter but seriously why message him???? I don’t know all of this really scares me and I worry what if he’s not telling me something even though he doesn’t believe in swearing to GOD and on the BIBLE if it’s not true has anyone else experienced this and is there hope where I can fully trust and not be scared all the time

So to start things off I have an issue with comparing myself. I often have the compulsion to go on Pinterest and look up certain female celebrities and compare myself or just sigh and feel bad because I don’t look like them etc. Unfortunately my ocd has attached to it :( I’ve had thoughts like “No you keep looking for other reasons” or even “This means you’re a bad fiancé” and it makes me freak and spiral, and then my ocd will attack me and make me feel like I’m being disrespectful or unloyal to my relationship. It’s so bothersome, it’s like my ocd has attached to these certain female celebrities and it’s like my compulsion is like I have this urge to click on the photo and if I don’t I worry about if something will happen etc. What’s weird is that sometimes when I’m just doom scrolling through some of these celebrities pictures and feeling upset I feel embarrassed because I’m pretty sure I’m embarrassed of the compulsion itself because it’s a weird compulsion to have and it’s just really bothering me so much. I really hate this and I’ve told my fiancé about it and he always helps me but i dont know how to just sit with this it’s too bothersome and feels awful :( has anyone else dealt with this?

My mind tries to tell me that I miss my exes because I reached out to one before me and my current bf started talking, it wasn’t anything serious but I told him I’d always care about him. And now I reworry, and my ex prank called me and it sent me into a spiral, and now my mind is saying I miss him etc, and me and this ex were super toxic before we got tg and when we was tg, it was good? But he always flirted w girls or whatever and talked to girls he used to date but when we broke up it always felt like we had to talk again, and that the old feelings were back and Idk what that is. And it feels like I need to tell my boyfriend all of this especially because he’s so genuine to me and I feel so terrible over it.

18+ UPDATE: This is my first post of the day so please take that context in mind... I'm genuinely feel so triggered and anxious... I'm gonna go to sleep right now, but I genuinely dont think I'll be able to ever be able to look my friends and family in the eye if this is true... ive been holding in the compulsions today all day... but right now its genuinely terrifying me... i have a girlfriend now (over 2 months) and i dont want to lose her... she's kind, and lovely, and the one I wanna marry one day... but then I look at myself... and my past... and I genuinely don't think I deserve her... Oh dear god... I dont know... but I think my worst fears came true... I think I unknowingly ERP'ed with a minor on an 18+ discord server 5 years ago... they currently are on Astralspiff's discord, having been there since 2023, and have switched their username, with a chicken emoji as their bio... they also switched their profile picture from Nana Osaki to a fan art of Kasame Teto... its making me think that these three things are certainties that she was a minor on the 18+ sexual server... and that I ERP'ed with her not knowing this... Im genuinely feeling shocked and sick to my stomach right now... they don't have their age listed on discord or anything, but they joined 5 years ago and it was 4 years ago that we ERP'ed... god I feel disgusted and horrified right now... someone talk to me... please.... in the past, I have been catfished by a man pretending to be a woman, had a minor on a dating app who lied about her age and i unknowingly flirted with her because I assumed she was 18+ and her bio said so, and sent an 18+ pic to a "woman" online who now I suspect of being a catfish... this is the reason why I'm so scared of whether or not I unknowingly inappropriately chatted with a minor without knowing... it genuinely scares me... Its making me think that I unknowingly inappropriately chatted with a minor in the past without knowing and it genuinely triggers me... I have tried to go back through most 18+ online interactions ive had with women online to make sure they didnt lie or they confirmed their age... i have two situations on discord that trigger me that ive posted about in the past... and a couple have deleted their discords so thats triggering me really bad... most who deleted their discords were verified but still... why delete your discord, you know...? for context i was on 18+ explicit discord servers meant for sex that you cant just join regularly on iPhone due to it being for adults only... Ive also been to a website dedicated to adult 18+ literature... they also have an 18+ chat room where you can talk to other users... i know ive made stupid mistakes going on here... i wont deny that... and now im paying for it with the uncertainty... veterans of the site, who have been on there for over 9 years, have told me that the chances of a minor lying about their age and coming onto the chat portion of the website are rare... but it still triggers me all the same... Im scared of someone one day in the future accusing me of doing horrible things like unknowingly inappropriately messaging minors, or have my worst fears of unknowingly explicitly messaging a minor confirmed to have happened and I didnt know about it... i genuinely just feel hopeless... And its all my fault... All of it...

Tried to talk about a recent concerns to family member, got dismissed, and hurt. I’m probably not in a good spot to have more conversation about it with him yet (it’s about feeling restricted as an adult child while staying at my parent’s home for a visit - was requested to be home by 930pm. However,it’s more like a requirement, less of a request). I know I need to ask if it was a one time/two time thing or a consistent request. I honored the request this evening and was home by that time but have started to feel crappy about it. Cue spiral. When I asked about it (I’m 37 and visiting my parents out of state, and I’ve never ever had an imposed curfew in my life. Ever) He said ‘this isn’t a curfew, and isn’t personal or about you. It’s a request. I don’t want you to break down and me have to come help or your brother to (he’s sick at the moment). To which I said you won’t have to, I have AAA. I take care of me. I also have a key to the house and lock up and do what I always have when I get back (for years I did this). He says he just wants to know when the house is locked up. I was then told ‘if this is the worst thing that happens to you, you have a good life’. Basically causing the conversation to feel circular and unproductive. I was flooded, feeling ‘what does that have to do with anything’. Then he changed topic was changed to talk about someone who recently died ‘life is too short’. He walked away mid conversation saying oh brother, and scoffing, and therefore ended the conversation. I still have anger, and lack understanding of what is going on and why this certain thing is being imposed. He told me why, but we didn’t get far into the conversation for me to express what I really wanted. It was more a one way expression on his side. I’m just annoyed and having a hard time not just compulsively spinning. I just walked away confused like ‘that has nothing to do with what you’re asking, or what I was trying to say’. I don’t know how to go forward. I just don’t know. I also feel I spiraled when he initially requested because I just assumed it was always and then I got mad. I feel spirally because I’m frustrated, and now also feeling am I being really unreasonable? Am I personalizing where I shouldn’t? It just feels really awful, controlling in ways, and the conversation doesn’t help. I’m anxious about being mad. If I’m mad I usually don’t get anywhere, and especially not if I’m mad at this person.

I feel like a prisoner to these thoughts 😢 I don’t know what to do. Each time there is a new theme/issue with my ocd It feels as though I am suffering for the first time with ocd all over again. No one around me understand how hard it is to deal with ive had ocd for a few years now but never properly gotten therapy for it only done a few online sessions and after that just dealing with it alone 🙁🙁 im suffering now with someone I’ve never dealt with before and it sounds so stupid. It started because someone told me ‘don’t bend your head back something bad could happen’ I had a fear about it and I started doing compulsions of bending my head back as far as I could to the point my head would touch my back and it’s been causing me neck pain and headaches but I keep doing it and everyday I feel miserable and scared that I’m going to do that compulsion, I don’t know why I keep doing it but it’s making me feel really down. I can’t do normal things because my head keeps telling me there’s no point and that I will keep doing this compulsion and it feels like everything is doomed and I feel really depressed. I’m scared I will keep doing this forever and cause myself an injury 😢😢😢 I need advice I have no therapist and I don’t know how to deal with this. How do I deal with this compulsion, when I am the one who actually WANTS to keep doing it as if it satisfies me doing it? But it’s causing me harm and despite the fact I know that because of the pain I’m still doing it, I feel scared and don’t know what to do 😢😢

I’m having anxiety that my boyfriend isn’t my soulmate. And I’m just wondering if I even love my boyfriend enough or if I should be with this other guy that I hyper fixated on or if I want to leave because I read that love isn’t enough and sometimes soulmates are temporary. It’s just stressing me out. How can I even tell if I do love my boyfriend?? Like what would be signs that I want to end the relationship? Earlier I felt fine and confident in our relationship. Can ROCD cause people to hyper fixate on others (also including their partner but in this scenario, someone who isn’t their partner)? Does anyone have advice on how to ease the anxiety, especially at night?

Hi folks, over the years, I’ve had week or two-week long spirals around random fears about my partner, usually stemming from fearing whether he’s a good man to be with or questioning the extent of his feelings and attraction toward me. He recently proposed, and as soon as I sensed it was coming that week, I spiraled into absolute panic wondering if I love him enough or not. It’s been three weeks and now I’m in absolute hell, convinced something is wrong and that I don’t love him enough. Does anyone with ROCD have this particular obsession? I just feel alone — most of them in the past for me have been questioning his love and sincerity toward me. I turned him down a couple times in the early years, as I was recently divorced and really just trying to figure out my life, be single for once in my adulthood, etc., and now I’ve convinced myself that I am lying to myself when explaining away why I didn’t immediate fall head over heels for him. I’m just so exhausted and fried that I feel absolutely nothing. Anyone with this obsession been able to get over this?