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I was wondering if this is concerning: whenever either my friends, my partner or I do something that causes even mild annoyance, some displeasure, I try my hardest to figure out what happened. I feel like if I figure it out it'll be a chance to grow and make sure it never happens again. so I read articles, look up shadow work prompts, scour reddit posts, talk about the problem incessantly with my friends, ask for devil's advocate from all sides, try to analyze the chain of events - and when I confront them about it I wanna know all details of what went into thar kind of a reaction. I cannot stop thinking about it at all. I think if I just think right, word it right, they'll understand me, and ill understand them. if I just word the questions right it'll help them realize "ah this is what happened!" I get obsessed with whether I shouldve said something and I shouldve trusted the other person to not have acted in a certain way. I dont know if im doing the right thing by sharing my expectations, hopes and wishes from interaction, from relationships, or just let it play out (feels like a gamble on whether ill like what they do). Is this something that could be OCD? Is it ROCD? and advice is greatly appreciated if u have any😓 I am not diagnosed with OCD, but I highly suspect I have it. I am trying to compile a list of incidents that could point to OCD.

hey guys, i need some advice again😭 so i have felt better these past few days, the intrusive thoughts don't feel as persistent and sometimes they even seem to blur in the background. i should be relieved that i am calmer and that there's progress but i just can't seem to be happy about it. as much as i wanted to escape from the intense emotions i felt at first (guilt, shame, panic etc), i feel like they were proof that these thoughts don't reflect who i am. it's contradictory, but somehow i wanted to keep being anxious because it proved that i am not the horrible person my mind kept telling me i was. but now that i feel so calm, i feel even more unsure about who i am. i keep telling myself that deep down i don't like these thoughts and i don't want to pursue them, but i just can't trust myself and it hurts. what if i'm just lying to myself? i think i'm going through a really weird phase. as much as i want to recover, i can't be happy when i feel better. i think i've been in such a bad place that i forgot what "normal" feels like and that's why it feels so foreign right now. living every single day with those thoughts almost feels like they became a part of me even if i didn't want that. it's like i keep going back to a toxic ex, i'm making it worse for myself. i keep checking and analyzing over and over again because i fear that this calm means the situation doesn't bother me anymore. and because of that i can't enjoy the short moments i feel happy or excited, even if i missed them so much. is this considered recovery? what should i do at this point? i feel like i'm floating through life right now, between two worlds.

hey, all. new to the app and new to the community. i’m not sure if i belong as i have not been diagnosed and have been struggling with what i believe to be OCD symptoms for a little over a month now. i keep thinking about past events during my relationship and feeling shame and guilt for them. at first, i thought it was normal so i shared with my boyfriend and he told me that it’s nothing (not in the dismissive way but that it’s not something that bothers him at all). i keep finding new details to bring up and share and i keep feelings so much worse. i hold myself to a high standard with loyalty and feel like I’ve done something wrong and not worthy of his trust, despite my own partner being completely comfortable with it. i find new things to “confess”, which are arguably smaller each time. i don’t want to sabotage this. i don’t know what to do :( my job never processed my insurance back in open season so now i don’t have coverage yet. feeling stuck.

Lately I've been having multiple arguments with my bf over stupid things, I've told him about my ocd and how I ruminate and he says he understands and gets it. I always communicate as best as I can, I've told him what may set me off or other triggers in general (besides ocd etc) and from what I understand he listened but it seems sometimes like he does things on purpose or doesn't see how things are from my perspective, and he refuses to see how it's a big deal for me. While I can see how it's dumb and doesn't make sense he could at least respect that it becomes a problem for me. Sometimes I spam out my thoughts or feelings when I'm freaking out to him through messages and such. To combat this I started to put my phone on DND (do not disturb) so that I don't see our chat and have the urge to text repeatedly, to where he also has said that I say the same things over and over too much (we know how this goes). He gets extremely upset when I do this and when I tell him I don't want to bother him he says I'm a bad communicator and should just answer him or talk even if its whatever way... I'm at the point where I'm not sure what to do cause everything is going downhill but he doesn't want to leave me (and I really love him) but it's feeling like its going to keep going down into a spiral everytime I accidentally start something or react a certain way :( To sum it all up... What can I really do? How should I stop my compulsions? Is there anything I should stop or start doing...? I'm just confused and lost...

Does anyone else have staring OCD (where you’re afraid of looking at someone too long or inappropriately for example) and then also POCD and social anxiety and all of these three combined and then also moral OCD…😕 Oh and also real event and a bit of ZOCD… the more I write the more themes come to my mind… Can anyone relate?

How do you cope with the fact that you seem to have overcome OCD, the intrusive thoughts, you started feeling better, you were happy. And then suddenly, one day, it all comes back, and you sort of relive exactly the same days because of the exact same thoughts? You return to that same state. And it feels like you'll never get out again? It's so frustrating inside, like you had managed, and now you're overwhelmed again, even worse. You're afraid that all the symptoms will return, and even more severe. How do you pull yourself out again and not let it spiral? I've been in this terrible, anxious state for several days now, everything irritates me, I'm even crying in front of my child because of this.

An insight I both learned / remembered recently that really changed my perspective on perceived judgments from others and intense shame cycles. I often fear that people are judging me. And I'm not alone in that ofc. My mind is constantly anxious and guilty and ashamed trying to search frantically for ways to make sure I'm not judged by others. My mind especially likes to target my mom - an insecure individual herself who I learned a lot of my shame from. I fear her judgment and desperately crave her acceptance simultaneously. My shame and guilt are innocent cries for love. They just want me to act in ways that will win peoples' acceptance and approval, as all humans want at their core. But the hypervigilance and constant reassurnace seeking and resulting depression from the shame is vicious. I constantly obsess: "what if they judge me? How do I KNOW they won't judge me?" Here was a powerful realization that I learned from a book called Self-Compassion: In essence, everyone is judging you, at least some of the time. We all judge for the exact same reasons: to feel good enough. It's a very innocent protection mechanism to make us feel good about ourselves as "good" people. Reject the "bad" and praise the "good." When I say everyone is judging you, that isn't to invoke paranoia. It's to remind you that you can never get everyones acceptance and more importantly, their judgment of you actually has NOTHING to do with you at all. They are playing the same game you are. The "trying to feel good enough about myself as I live my life" game. Their judgments towards you have NOTHING to do you with you. We all learn our judgments through a complex web of life. Parenting, schooling, social media, coaches and mentors, friends, etc. Everyone comes by their judgments effortlessly and without much conscious choice. Hardly anyone wakes up one day and consciously decides: "today I will start judging people for being too anxious and insecure. They are unlovable people." No, we learn judgments often unconsciously or against our will to protect ourselves as children. To me this is freeing because: 1. It reminds me that people don't actually hate me or mean to inflict shame on me. Their minds are just trying to feel good about themselves. If anything, they deserve empathy, not a defensive stance in response to their judgment of you. They judge themselves in this same way. If someone says you're too anxious all the time, what that means is, somewhere in life, they learned that you aren't allowed to be anxious. It's bad and unlovable. That has nothing to do with you. It's something they were taught throughout their life, and they judge themselves for. You don't need to internalize their judgment, it's not yours to accept. 2. You are not to blame for your own judgments. You did not wake up one day and decide what qualities you hate in people and what qualities you accept. Your mind learned to judge various parts of people to feel safe and loved. Why on earth should we judge ourselves for wanting to feel good enough? Hopefully some of this makes sense and helps people. Nobody is to blame for their judgments, actions, thoughts, etc. Drop everything and love every part of yourself. We're all subconsciously trying to play the "feeling good enough about myself" game.

I’ve been very good lately at keeping away from watching the news. I all of a sudden see a new article of someone committing some horrendous crime and I start crying repeating in my head “what if I’m capable of doing this” and I tell myself no I’m not capable then I start getting “what if you did and you just don’t remember.” It is so odd when you know your brain is questioning reality and what you know is true.

I don’t have a therapist and i really need to talk to someone 😞😞

hello guys. i don't have anyone to talk to about all of this and i feel like taking some things off my chest. if anyone can give me some advice i will gladly take it, if not, that is ok as well. by sharing this i hope i can help some people feel less alone on this tough and lonely journey. my experience started about 2 months ago. one day, out of nowhere, all the stress and anxiety i accumulated throughout the years made me burst and i've never been the same since that day. it was hard dealing each day with intense mood swings, low energy, and crying literally every hour, but i pushed through, learning it's only a phase, being patient with my recovery and hoping better days would come. when i thought i was finally moving on, i was struck by something way scarier that i never imagined could happen to me, and it felt like i collapsed even worse than the first time. it terrified me so much that i started doing a lot of research on my own and i found out what OCD is. it explained everything i had felt for the past few weeks, when i thought there was just something wrong with me. before seeing a specialist, every day felt like a nightmare, dealing with intrusive thoughts and taboo themes that made me feel inhumane. after being diagnosed, i felt so much relief, it almost felt like that session "fixed" me. but now, after having a few good days in such a long time, i can't help but grieve who i was before and regret that i'm at war with my own mind every single second of every day. maybe because i've been battling all of this for a while i feel so tired and numb and i'm worried i don't care enough anymore, even if i want to, i cannot, i feel stuck. all of the intense emotions i had felt for the past few days, the guilt, the shame and the panic feel so muted or even nonexistent sometimes. all i feel is regret and sadness, regret that i can't live normally, regret that all of this is ruining the relationship i have with my loved ones and regret that i can't allow myself to be happy sometimes because i feel like i don't deserve to live a good life since i have these thoughts. i feel sorry for the people and situations my OCD has latched onto and i keep thinking about the past, when everything was so much better, but i took it all for granted and i miss those moments so much. i'm grieving the version of me that existed before all of this happened and i can't help but cry knowing that i can never be that person again. accepting change and letting go is such a difficult thing to do. i can't embrace healing and recovery since i feel like i have to take accountability for all of these disturbing thoughts even if they aren't my own. sometimes i feel like I am the one latching onto them because i have to keep myself in check and remind myself everytime that i am not normal and that i am different, in a way that i don't want and i never asked for. as much as i despise saying this, it feels like these thoughts have become a part of me, they are so glued to me that they are almost an extension of who i am. but i don't want to identify like this. and even if i feel lost i'm going to keep living each day hoping it will get better because even if OCD has taken everything from me, hope never left, even if sometimes it feels like that has abandoned me as well. if you have reached the end, thank you so much for reading all of it. i don't know who will see this, since it's only going to become a post floating among thousands of other messages, but if i helped anyone feel better or if anyone found the courage to keep fighting because of this post, i'm glad i could share all of this. thank you so much for the attention. better things will come, even if right now the future seems so clouded, the sun is waiting on the other side, and it's already shining through each storm and cloudy day.

I fear that oh god what if I have pedophile disorder and not ocd because my mind thinks because of this feeling I have in my chest and my pushin and saying no I fear what if that meant I was hiding an actual attraction and it’s fuckin scaring me like I’d rather die then to have that be true I don’t feel attracted but why does my mind think I do when I didn’t feel excited or pleasure

I’m posting this because I’m really struggling, and I’m hoping someone here might relate or have insight from their own experience. I have OCD, and one of the hardest ways it shows up for me is around attraction, relationships, and decision-making. I constantly question whether I’m attracted “enough,” whether what I’m feeling is real, and whether the absence of constant intensity means something is wrong. I monitor my body, my thoughts, my reactions—almost like I’m waiting for a signal that will finally tell me, yes, this is right or no, this is wrong. What makes this especially confusing is that I’ve noticed a pattern in my past. When relationships were uncertain, emotionally inconsistent, or unpredictable, attraction felt intense and obsessive. I thought that meant it was real or special. But now I’m starting to see that the intensity may have been driven by anxiety and uncertainty rather than healthy connection. Right now, I’m dating someone who is kind, consistent, and emotionally available. We share all the same values and he has 0 red flags. We’ve been dating for several months. He treats me well and shows up. And yet, instead of feeling calm, my nervous system feels unsettled. Some days I feel connected and drawn to him. Other days I feel numb, anxious, or terrified that I won’t feel attracted when I see him. The more I check or try to force clarity, the worse it gets. There’s another layer that’s really hard for me to admit, but I think it’s important. He is shorter than me and overweight, and I notice that this triggers a lot of fear around how I’ll be perceived. I find myself worrying about shame, judgment, or people looking at us and what that might say about me. That spirals into perfectionism—this idea that my relationship has to “look right” or meet some external standard in order for me to feel safe. My OCD turns appearance and others’ opinions into high-stakes criteria. Then it convinces me that these fears must mean something important about compatibility. I also notice that I keep asking him questions about health and lifestyle—whether he wants to be healthy, what that looks like for him, how he approaches it. Part of me knows that health is a genuine value of mine. But another part of me worries that this has become reassurance-seeking or a way to regulate my anxiety. When he talks about working on his health, I feel calmer. When I worry he won’t, my anxiety spikes. That makes me question whether I’m using his self-improvement as a way to feel safe rather than truly accepting him as he is. Another confusing piece is that I felt more attraction when we were talking on the phone or texting for a long stretch without seeing each other. Now that things are more real and embodied, my anxiety has exploded. My brain keeps asking: What if I’m not attracted? What if I’m settling? What if my body is rejecting him? These thoughts feel urgent and convincing, even though they also feel rooted in fear. I grew up feeling like love had to be earned, and my one therapist has suggested that this might be playing out now—that my nervous system doesn’t quite trust calm, available love yet. That when there’s nothing to chase or prove, my system panics and tries to find a reason to pull away. Intellectually, that makes sense. Emotionally, it’s incredibly hard to sit with. I don’t feel like I have any answers. I’m trying to figure out what’s OCD, what’s anxiety, what’s perfectionism, and what’s genuine information. I’m trying not to turn every fluctuation in attraction or every intrusive thought into a verdict about my future. But it’s exhausting, and sometimes scary. I’m so scared of forcing a relationship or committing to the wrong person. I’d really love to hear from anyone who’s experienced something similar—especially OCD around attraction, appearance, or fear of external judgment. How did you navigate dating or commitment without letting OCD run the show? Were there specific exposures, mindset shifts, or boundaries (with yourself or your partner) that helped? And how did you sit with the discomfort long enough to see what was truly there, rather than reacting from fear? It’s tough because when I’m in this mode, it’s full nervous system break down and 0 genuine thoughts or feelings

Hey guys. Am struggling so bad with harm ocd does anyone have any tips🫶🏻

Persistent intrusive thoughts that my child could have been switched at the hospital. I don't know where it started, this thought suddenly came into my head, in detail: how they come to my house, tell me this, take my child away and give me another one. My heart starts racing. I sometimes can't even look at my daughter without crying, and she becomes a strong trigger. She's my copy, looks very much like me, and all the tags from the birth had my name on them, everything is correct, but I get very stressed, obsess, and worry. I've been suffering from OCD for a long time. This thought is one of the worst in my life. Right now, I don't have the means to go to a good psychotherapist, and I don't know how to cope. Before, I visited different ones; it would get better for a while, but then the thoughts could come back. I don't want to take antidepressants because I am 20 weeks pregnant. How can I calm and convince my brain?

Hey everyone. I’m gonna get a bit personal on here. I hope you all can help me. Or give some helpful advice to me? So to give context. Me and my partner at the moment. Moved into my Nans house. We also live with my uncle. As he lives with my nan. We moved in here because otherwise. Homelessness was the other option. My nan offered us her spare room and we are forever grateful. Now. I’m aware of my faults. I. No matter how much I want too. Can’t get myself to do things I need to do, The guilt eats at me. But my body just wants to stay frozen and still. rotting in my room I suppose. I have a dog. And I have been trying to get into a routine of walking him daily. I have been failing as of late. But I am trying. My OCD is bad again. I need to see a doctor about my meds it’s been a lot. Now you are caught up. The dilemma. Me and my partner went for a walk today. Didn’t take my dog cause we were going on a date to a food place in the neighbourhood which didn’t allow dogs. Only found out last minute. I was gonna take him. Then found out. And i was gonna make it up to him tomorrow. Because of that. Now also. I was warned by some family that my uncle can be a bit much. Gets drunk and berates you I suppose. So far he hadn’t except for one night complaining about the dishes. But it wasn’t to bad we simply just cleaned them up, however tonight that changed. Though it’s still not as bad as the stories we heard. But that scares me for what is to come. When I get home. My uncle. Who smelt distinctively of alcohol, came in to my room. Just as I had got home to lecture me on not taking my dog for a walk. To which I said I understand. And I will take him tomorrow. You know. He wasn’t wrong but he was certainly direct. And kept repeating himself. It made me uncomfortable I suppose. There is only so many times I can say I will work on it. Then I close the door and just try to relax after that. And he knocks and comes in yet again to complain once more. To sum up his very long rant about me and my partner. He is mad? that we ordered groceries to the house one or two time instead of asking him to drive us. (We have no car atm) But we aren’t exactly trying to burden everyone with our presence. You know? My partner also hates asking for help. And that we stay in our room most of the time and don’t socialise. (Most of the time him or my nan are doing their own things and I don’t want to just intrude. But I normally talk to them when I’m out and about in the house) but then. He started calling us weird. Over and over again in his long rant of saying the same thing multiple times. And me and my partner are just sitting on my bed. Saying “sorry we weren’t trying to be. We will make a better effort. We didn’t realise” ya know. And he kept going. Like not listening to our apologies and continuing to berate us. Just using the same “weird” insult. Meanwhile I’m trying to hold back my tears. While I necessarily don’t disagree with anything he said. I feel there was a better way for him to bring up his concerns then to ambush us like that.. I also don’t think the insulting was necessary. Or repeating everything. I got it the first time. I already feel like I don’t belong here. My nan owns a nice house in a nice town and neighbourhood. they all live on the coast. Ya know. And growing up I was living in rundown houses and moving from place to place. I feel out of place here and i don’t feel like I fit in. And I guess I was right. Because apparently I’m weird. To rectify this I offered to hang out with him tomorrow morning. But I can’t shake off his insult. I can’t stand up for myself. I need this roof over my head. And I fear any defiance from me will land my ass on the street. I’m not saying I’m perfect. I could try harder. Be better. I’m really struggling mentally. But I can’t be. I need to lock in and I can’t. My nan is leaving for a month or so soon. It will just be us and him in this house. And I’m scared on how this will go..

Starting to reach a point where I'm not really feeling anything or emotions towards my partner... at points, even disinterest.. been about a month into therapy here and its only been a small decline of emotions... thoughts dont feel as debilitating as they were before. Low key this post might be a little reassurance seeking... but kinda dont know what to do.. having trouble distinguishing whats true emotions vs ROCD induced emotions or feelings.. 😮‍💨

I recently realized that rumination is a big part of my OCD. I’m still trying to understand how to manage it, and even with therapy I feel unsure about what actually helps. I’m kind of stuck between knowing what’s happening and not knowing how to change it yet. I’m currently on Zoloft, and I recently increased to 75 mg. With everything going on in my life right now, I don’t know if it’s helping or not, considering I have a lot of stressors at the moment. My therapist keeps bringing up that switching medication is an option, which I’m open to if that’s what it takes to feel better—but I also feel like I just increased the dose and haven’t really given it a fair chance yet, especially since it’s being tested by so many life stressors right now. I also feel like the way therapy is going for me isn’t really helping. It doesn’t feel focused on OCD and seems more like general talk therapy. I told her at the beginning that I need to work on specific things and that talk therapy doesn’t really help me. I don’t know what to do. I feel lost in my healing journey at the moment. I feel very suffocated, like all the stressors in my life are piling on top of me. Therapy isn’t really working, and I constantly find myself wondering if it’s my medication. Now that I’m writing everything out, I realize that I take CBD oil (with no THC) in the morning, and then I take my Zoloft at 6 PM. My anxiety tends to increase at night.

Feel like the doctors are not listening to me

One of my biggest triggers is my things being touched, and change. And I feel incredibly disrespected. My parents know I have ocd they’ve known for years what my triggers are, we worked with a pediatrition since I was like 13 to help my parents and I understand my ocd and my triggers. I was over my dad’s house which I was annoyed because my grandmother came over and cleaned my room (it literally wasn’t even messy btw) everything was placed exactly where I don’t want it, to the point it was just so agitating and just a waste of energy for her as I place everything back to how it was, I was already so irritated by all of this and when I tell yall I don’t like change I mean it takes me months to adapt to big changes like this simple change I was still mad two days later, my mom calls me the day before I’m supposed to go back to her house and tells me THAG while I was gone she decided to re do my bedroom, paint job and all, yes, my mother, without telling me re did my ENTIRE BEDROOM. When I came home it wasn’t done, so I had to sleep in my brothers room, awesome I don’t have my own space! I go back to my dads, my room was rearranged there and cleaned to exactly how I don’t ficking want it, I’m irritated once more, I express to my father how much anxiety THAG gives me and how it puts me in horrible spirals of uncontrolled anger and anxiety to which he says THAG if I myself keep it clean to his standard my stuff won’t be moved and THAG if I’m under his roof it’s his rules, I go back to my moms again, she shows me my room is done, there’s things in my room rearranged to how I DO NOT WANT ITx there’s things she decorated it with THAG I DO NOT WANT. I tell her this, and THAG I might redecorate some things when she asks me what I think (mind you guys I’ve been extreamly polite and haven’t crashed the fuck out) she then begins to tell me THAG I’m ungrateful for her work and THAG I’m spoilt. Mind yall this is my room, my space. Imagine if she wasn’t home and I rearranged all of her shit, regardless of who’s paying for the house and shit that’s fucked up. I’m not even complaining aboht how the room looks either because it is really nice, I just don’t understand why motheruckers need to touch my stuff and be up in my space without letting me know. Especially when you know this is the type of shit that really really triggers me, these people listened to me explain countless times how I hate change. They know I hage that shit. So why catch me off guard? Sorry this is crazy long yap.

I fell in love with this girl and long story short we tried and didn’t work out but my heart is still so attached to her. When I don’t hear from her, I get so worried that something’s happened to me and my mind goes to worst case scenario. I feel responsible if something goes wrong and I’m freaking out