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the NOCD Community

I never meet people with ocd, the most people I talk to with ocd is on here and I’ve been wanting more friends and I just don’t have any.

People say it will...but I'm struggling to keep going long enough to find out. Every time I do an exposure, or try not to engage in a compulsion, it's SO hard. Then, the next time feels even harder, not easier. It makes me lose hope and figure I'll always be this way...

Take it from me. Someone, who a few months ago, had the worst spiral of their life so far. I had a full on panic attack that sent my ocd (before I knew what it was) into a frenzy. I was in a dark place— OCD was stealing my days, stealing my sleep, and everyday I mourned for the life I took for granted when I had some mental clarity. I felt like I was at a 10/10 always, my brain screaming at me with my worst fears, forcing me to endure a living nightmare, and convincing me this is me and my new life. It felt like it consumed all I was, and stole my future. All I wanted to do was isolate, I was convinced something was wrong with me, and that I must be a terrible person. NOCD and my connected therapist helped me feel like me again. Now, I can breathe, I can talk back to my intrusive thoughts and anxiety, and I can decide what happens next. Erp has truly changed my life with a simple “thoughts are just thoughts”. How can something so simple be so revolutionary? Well I believe it’s all in the power of trust and confidence within yourself. I am now able to trust myself again. I learned so much about myself, why I process things differently, why I have certain triggers, and how I was engaging in compulsions I wasn’t even aware of (turns out, ocd has been lurking around with me my entire life and I had no clue)! I’m not perfect— the road has been bumpy and not everyday will be perfect. The thoughts and worries will still come up here and there, but now I know “there’s my OCD again” , point it out, and try to move on to something else. Because it’s all about trying. To look at it positively, your OCD is your brain’s weird and funky way of trying to protect you in a sense. It’s doing a VERY WEIRD job at it, but acknowledge it, and let it pass. And eventually it will take a back seat and trust you to drive! <3

What was the lowest point of your H OCD, mental intrusive thoughts, depression, DPDR and other mental disorders ? Pls explain im in the worst place right now. (I don’t know if i will experience any psychosis later or not im down)

What do you do when you have ocd about yourself? Like when you wonder if each things you think about aligns with your thoughtd or morals or what you want to be in the future? I'm having an ocd about wanting to get the final answer which I know isn't real but I have this weird obbsesion with it and I can't seem to accept any thought and I'm kinda scared to let go. It feels like the final boss of ocd but I feel like I haven't learned anything to deal with it in all my years of having it. Do I accept the thoughts and let go or is there something because I genuinly feel like I'm going through phsycosis and I can't tell the difference between if it's me or my ocd because. I genuinly feel like I did this to myself as well but I genuinly don't know how to move on or accept if the thing is mine or not.

If u replied to this last time pls dont I deleted it for that reason. I was out and people that im worried about being attracted to were like everywhere and i was very anxious and trying to keep my head down and walk to tje car and stuff bur then I kept having to sort of look at someone bc i needed to look where I eas walking and they were right there and I was sayinglike im not attracted im not attracted im nor attracted and then i had tne thought 'wait I am kinda attracted actually' and idk what to do bc WHAT. and i felt like it wasnt me but also like idek what im saying it jusr feels gross and horid and idk what's true and ive been trying for 2 days to get my nails done and i js run back to the car bc there's so mant people and ik im lucky to even have the money dor nails but nails are the one thing that make me feel like me so theyre really important for me

How integrated is AI in therapy for NOCD and does every therapist on this platform use it extensively? I’m very uncomfortable with AI usage in general and I begrudgingly accept for dictation purposes but does AI usage have a strong presence in your treatment plans? I’m not sure if this platform is just not for me or if I need to find a better match? Telehealth often already feels a little disconnected from humanity.

I would like to open a thoughtful and respectful discussion regarding NOCD’s current cancellation fee policy. My intention is not to criticize the organization as a whole, but to raise concerns about how these fees impact the very population NOCD is designed to support. In my experience, the 48‑hour cancellation window and the significantly increased fee feel disproportionately burdensome. I fully understand that NOCD must maintain scheduling stability and ensure clinicians are compensated for their time. However, the reality is that many individuals living with OCD struggle with symptoms that directly affect their ability to consistently attend sessions. When a person’s symptoms interfere with their functioning, it is deeply discouraging to then face a financial penalty for the very challenges they are seeking treatment for. Mental‑health symptoms should never be treated as something to be punished. When I first began with NOCD, cancellations were handled with far more flexibility, and the fee—when applied—was around $35. As the company has expanded, the cost of late cancellations has risen sharply, and it increasingly feels like patients are being asked to absorb financial consequences that many simply cannot afford. For people already navigating significant emotional distress, these fees can create additional hardship at a time when support should feel accessible, not conditional. I believe there are more compassionate and balanced ways to approach cancellations—whether through reduced fees, shorter notice requirements, or alternative options that acknowledge the realities of living with OCD. My hope is to hear from others about their experiences and perspectives, and to encourage a conversation about how policies can evolve without compromising care. Thank you for taking the time to read this and for engaging with openness and respect. My goal is to advocate for fairness and understanding, especially for those who are most vulnerable.

I don’t get what the point of being able to make posts on this app is, if they are going to get flagged because “your looking for reassurance” people with ocd suffer so much and most times don’t have anyone to talk to especially if there not in therapy and you make a post and someone reports/flags it. You could be really suffering for weeks and one word from a stranger could help you, even if it is seeking reassurance, I’m sure the person must be desperate if they are writing a whole post about it. I wrote a post not long ago and I was waiting hoping someone would reply so I could sleep a bit easier since I’m literally going through something very bad and I see a notification only to see someone flagged my post how sad is that 🙁🙁

18+ only Thinking of giving someone benefit of the doubt about step sister thing and then saw a spider-man costume thing and it's from PS4 Spider-Man who's like mid 20's and they were talking about the film where he's again like early to mid 20's and I'm going to give them benefit of the doubt. Watching safe video and OCD's messing with me about weird joke images in comments of someone's instagram they're showing (One was a super zoomed in image of a persons face and the other was just some meme image of two people facing off or maybe kissing idk I couldn't tell) and had to lock my phone to itch and keep having to wipe my privates with the safe video playing and I did the compulsion to it (Obviously not to their instagram) but OCD's messing with me and being awful and making me scared I did a bad thing because they were wearing a Spider-Man costume in another video and did step sibling stuff in other videos and telling me bad things were on their monitor even though it was just instagram and some game website and had to skip to it not being visible because I now OCD would mess with me and was being awful despite the person being 22 but I thought it would be good to not let the rules control me anymore, obviously I didn't do anything immoral or wrong of course but OCD's making me think I should check their instagram again and I forgot to bookmark them as safe. Had to report animated video to be safe and was looking for video I did compulsion to to make sure there wasn't anything bad and paused B99 so I didn't get triggered and OCD's being awful and I can't find it and I finally did and it was a gaming website like I thought with nothing bad and the instagram was two people staring at each other and I feel like I have to do the compulsion again to something safe and before then, when I went to the homepage, I saw part of a thumbnail that didn't show anything but I reported because I recognised the character in the part of the thumbnail I saw and knew it to be bad and all the added anxiety and stress that I know I'm feeling but don't feel is messing with me and making me feel like I need to do the compulsion again. Watched the preview thingy of the woman wearing the spider-man costume to read the subtitles and make sure it didn't say anything bad and it didn't but OCD's twisting it. Think I can hear triggers in background of safe video and OCD's messing with me about their intro even though it's fine and just a face on a peach and some sound effect. They said something kind of homophobic and weird, calling someone gay for not wanting to have sex and I'm wondering if I should ignore it or not and I did. Did the compulsion to the person again and OCD's being awful and infantilising them and the noises they made despite them being 22 and I don't know what the noise at the beginning in their intro thing is and I'm sure it's fine but OCD's making me scared it's bad and I checked their instagram comments and they hearted a comment that said the n word so they're not safe and I'm scared I'm a bad person because they also said homophobic things that I ignored.

I’m struggling because I feel like I can’t tell what I genuinely want anymore. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been repeatedly having intrusive sexual thoughts and images involving girls. I started intentionally imagining scenarios and trying to picture myself being into them just to see how I would react. I would do this during the day and at night, sometimes repeatedly, and I would constantly monitor my body and emotions for a reaction. Now it feels like my brain automatically sexualizes almost every girl I see. When it happens, I can get sensations like anxiety, lightness, a wave or shock feeling, needing to swallow, or a feeling that tells me, “You want this” or “You want to sexualize this.” Sometimes I also get an excited or almost fake-happy feeling anxious , and then I immediately start questioning whether I actually wanted it, whether I’m attracted to girls, whether I’m in denial, or whether my sexual preferences have changed. I’ll intentionally imagine the scenario again to check, sometimes pushing the thought until the feeling goes away, but afterward I feel even more confused and disconnected from myself. I’ve also had a lingering feeling from a vivid dream that I woke up from, and today I feel especially bland and like that dream feeling is one of the only things I can access emotionally. I feel off throughout the day, and it has made it difficult to tell what I actually feel toward my boyfriend. Yesterday I was crying because I became scared that my sexual desire toward my boyfriend was gone. When I was with him, I felt unusually bland and couldn’t tell whether I wanted to make out or whether I was enjoying it the way I normally would, and that really scared me because I love him and don’t want to lose my connection with him. Now I keep comparing my reactions to girls with my reactions to him, which makes everything even more confusing. I’m scared that repeatedly forcing myself to imagine sexual scenarios and checking my reactions has somehow changed my desires. I feel like I can’t trust my thoughts, emotions, or physical sensations anymore because I’m constantly trying to figure out what every reaction means. I really want help breaking this cycle and learning how to stop testing instead of constantly trying to figure out whether every thought, sensation, or feeling is “real.”

Posting here hasn’t felt super productive anymore. Idk if my experiences are not as common. But I’m limited in the treatments I have access to because of insurance. I can’t work with my conditions being this debilitating. I have tried specialized therapy before and now I’m reading books about my conditions to hold me over. I feel like I’ve hit a wall. Is this all my life will be? Pain, suffering, anguish. No dreams, barely surviving. Even when I dare to dream, work hard, graduate, whatever it doesn’t matter because life is too hard I can’t pursue these things. I can’t hold a job. I have no social life.

Ive been experiencing a pretty bad flare up this past week. It feels like regression but my therapist tells me it is progress, as well as fellow ocd sufferers online. But it’s very hard😓. In the past couple of weeks I’ve felt truly okay for the first time in so long, and now I’m convinced the hope that I felt is never going to return. I find myself getting pulled back into old habits, ild thoughts, old compulsions, but im really trying to use what Ive learned in therapy. Im trying to remind myself that this isn’t forever, that this feeling is temporary and that hope and happiness will come back, but it’s still so so hard. Does anyone have any advice on dealing with flare ups like these?

Hi, I am new here and I’m looking forward to understanding my journey. I have been diagnosed with GAD before, but I am afraid that I might actually have OCD as well. I know I have PTSD because I’ve been through some pretty severe traumas in the past. I often find myself experiencing some compulsions and I’m not sure how to stop.

I think we need to make a change. I think everyone is way too oversensitive to the idea of reassurance. There are actually two kinds of reassurance. One kind feeds the OCD loop. The other actually feeds and encourages the soul. (I believe this second kind is absolutely essential for OCD recovery.) How do we tell the difference? ----------------------------------- BAD REASSURANCE The OCD reassurance is obvious. It is a compulsion that is meant to "fix" something bad you did in the past (whether a thought or action). For example, maybe a fleeting thought passes your mind about a person other than your spouse. You don't really believe the thought. But you feel compelled to confess this to your spouse and have them reassure you that everything is OK. Seeking reassurance is the ACTION you take in order to FIX the thought. This is the definition of a compulsion. Remember, a compulsion is anything you do in order to fix or neutralize an obsession. Therefore, seeking reassurance only reinforces the idea that the intrusive thought was "dangerous" in the first place. (After all, if you are compelled to fix the thought, it must've been pretty dangerous.) So what do we do to break out of the cycle? We ALLOW the thoughts to run freely through our heads (no matter how bad they are). And then we do NOTHING to fix the thoughts. This teaches our brains that the intrusive thoughts were not actually dangerous after all. ------------------------------- GOOD REASSURANCE The other kind of reassurance is the kind that nourishes the soul. The OCD community has generally stopped trying to do this, because we've confused it with the bad type of reassurance. And as a result, many people are left hurting. For example, let's say someone with POCD or ROCD feels like a monster. In the OCD community, we're scared to tell them that they are not a monster. Why? It's because we are not seeing the bigger picture. These people need someone to flat out tell them that they are not a monster. They need someone to explain to them that they are just suffering from a disease that affects millions of people in exactly in the same ways. They need someone to redirect them away from the OCD's lies. (These lies can feel very overwhelming). ---------------------------------- THE BOTTOM LINE I really believe that I would not have made it this far if my soul hadn't received reassurance so many times in my life. I think some of this "soul comfort" is essential to moving on from the OCD. We don't need to be afraid of reassurance (when it's done right). And even if we get it wrong and start feeding someone's OCD loop, that's okay. It's not the end of world. When that happens we can gently bring that person back to the core of OCD recovery. And I believe this is faith, which means we believe the truth even when we are uncertain, and we take steps without seeing all the answers.

I'm here!!!! What is bothering you? Post below. Sometimes the first step is to just get everything out in the open air. But with OCD it can be tricky, because most people don't understand it. Therefore, sometimes people's advice can even be counterproductive. But if you can find mentors who understand OCD, you can make a lot of progress. When we spin our problems around and around inside our own heads, trying to solve them, we can end up being stuck for years. I know these things from experience. So here is a safe community for you. And here's your chance to air it out below…

Hi everyone! A little shy to be doing this but I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and he has ADHD. He looks around A LOT and I always think he’s checking out other girls. It genuinely makes me feel sick and I feel like I’ve ruined a lot of dates and fun things for us because of how in my head I get. It’s turned into me watching his eyes and our surroundings a little too much. I’m a super confident person outside of our relationship but I genuinely feel crazy and I don’t know if he’s lying to me about not looking or not his intent for looking or if it’s my OCD. People that know him say he’s not like that and for context he’s a GREAT boyfriend. Does anyone else feel this way or have any helpful tips? Thx! XX

Ive been going through a rough month or so with my mental health and OCD and my boyfriend is finding it hard to deal with. Any tips or advice on how to manage mental health in a way that I still feel seen and supported while maintaining healthy boundaries so it doesn't become too heavy for him to deal with? Btw, I'm not overbearing with it or talk about it all the time or anything. I'm very sensitive to his feelings and the way it affects him too. Just so you don't think I'm codependent and make it his responsibility - because I don't!

Hello everyone! My name is Tizi. My boyfriend has Health Concern OCD. He's doing treatment with fluoxetine and aripiprazol, but he's currently unable to attend therapy or do ERP due to reasons I believe wouldn't be respectful to specify here. When he's having OCD episodes or compulsions he often talks to me (we have a long distance relationship) or his father, who's often at work, so his support net is often virtual. I obviously want him to be alright, so I did some research about OCD and read that telling him "it's okay, everything is fine" or giving him reassurance won't help him more than a temporary relief. I often try to tell him things like "I know how you're feeling right now, but you can't keep checking your eyes" or things like that, but he gets really anxious and NEEDS that reasurance. Although I almost never give it to him and I often save it as a last resource, it truly pains me to see him like that and I have to cave. I want to know where can I find resources for partners of people with OCD, about a plan of action, reassurance, handling compulsions or crisis. I did some DBT therapy for my BPD and learnt a couple relaxation, grounding and breathing techniques and often ask him to try them with me, but it's like it's never enough. What can I do?

Haven't used this app in a long while as I've been trying my hardest to get through the thoughts and anxiety on my own and to not use this app as a crutch as it used to be a compulsion. Posting now as I need a safe space to just let everything out instead of putting it on my husband constantly. I've been working on the confessing compulsion so now I will say "OCD is playing up" instead of what the actual thought is (except when the anxiety is so bad that I cannot focus or am in a big panic, then I'll try to delay the confession compulsion as long as I can). My husband helps me with this compulsion by either ignoring me (which we agreed, he's not being rude) to not engage with it and he'll start talking about something else, or he'll try to make me laugh about it so I can view what's going on in a different way. He's is an absolute rock when it comes to supporting me. Just wanted to get my feelings out today. The last few days have been very hard. We've been TTC and it's set off triggers across nearly all themes. SOOCD pops up during films (but I have this theme well handled). ROCD pops up when watching tv, when something reminds me of people, and stems into a big fear of thinking inappropriate thoughts, especially during the wrong times and thoughts that I would consider to mean betraying my husband (he knows what these are about and doesn't care because he can see how badly I don't want them). I had one instance of HOCD when I was washing up a knife, and I had one instance of POCD because some antisocial teenagers were underage drinking walking near the cars in the road so I was watching to make sure nothing bad happens (police won't do anything about it because "they're under staffed"). One of the kids lifted his top up to show off to his friends. I looked away because I don't want to see it and I was only making sure they didn't get run over or damage any cars, but it felt like I did something awful cos it happened whilst I was making sure nothing bad happened. Even typing it makes me feel awful. But the absolute worst them lately has been contamination OCD. I wash my hands after I touching everything, even if I try to delay the compulsion. My knuckles and hands are cracking and bleeding from washing them so much. It's so bad that I wash them after touching the pegs on the washing line because I've seen pigeons sit on it (tbf they pooped on it, too - got my husband to clean that). I have to clean everything my FIL touches cos he always picks his nose. If others use our bathroom, I have to clean it the second they leave and I'll put toilet paper on the seat before sitting down. I have to antibac the shopping otherwise I need to wash my hands after touching it. These are just some examples, and it's been made worse by all the guidance for TTC/pregnancy on what to avoid (e.g. it said to avoid touching grass without washing your hands in case things get transmitted, it's a low risk generally, but as we're TTC I cannot risk it). I'm not looking for reassurance. If you have any ERP advice for contamination OCD in particular, please let me know. I cannot risk getting ill whilst TTC as we've been struggling with our journey and when I'm ill, I'm ill for a while and it means we'll miss out on another month of trying. It's like living in a constant state of fear. The anxiety is always there. Sometimes it's more noticeable. Other times it's quieter. For any SJM fans, don't let the hard days win! If OCD is flicking really quickly between themes, is that a sign of ERP working?