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the NOCD Community

I'm so sorry but can you please read this!!! I was reading an article about being a lesbian in denial and I feel really bad cause some of the signs are close to being HOCD signs. I'm doubting myself so badly!!! I don't wanna be a fucking lesbian!!! Fuck that!!! I'm crying!!! I can't deal with the fucking thoughts like...I don't like them and I want to be with guys

Whoever has been diagnosed with adhd how were u diagnosed? What are your major symptoms?

I hate hocd with a passion it ruins absolutely everything for me. Tv shows, movies, going out in public, trying to be happy, etc. I cut out compulsions and where do I get nowhere. I get stuck in an endless hopeless loop of feeling better for maybe a day and then bam it all comes rushing back in.

Does anyone have experience with thyroid disease and ocd? I had to go to the hospital in 2017 for ocd and it was there that it was discovered that I have autoimmune thyroid disease (Hashimoto’s causing hypothyroidism). My Mom had her thyroid removed at 32 but probably had thyroid issues dating back before that age. My ocd became severe about halfway through high school. I remember having to literally leave class to check to make sure that my belongings in my locker hadn’t been stolen during the time that I had been in class. I hit puberty at the right time and correctly hit all other markers. The endocrinologist said that an endo surgeon would remove the thyroid for different reasons, and I have one of them: nodules. I’m kind of hoping that they take it out due to my familial history of autoimmune disease. I just keep hoping there’s a way to rid myself of distress and intrusive thoughts. It’s pretty messed up that I’m hoping to have part of my body removed but I have this gut feeling that my thyroid could be fucking with everything. I’m not sure if I’d feel any different if my Mom didn’t have thyroid cancer, but that gives me hope that it’s not all my fault. The intrusive thoughts have become less frequent since starting thyroid hormone therapy. But they still come and go and it causes comorbid depression. Sucks. Anyone else with similar experiences and/or thought processes? I also had a cortisol test done today to see how well my body tolerates stress. Upon blood testing, the endocrinologist discovered that I my cortisol was super low in the AM. It’s supposed to be the opposite in the AM. If the same holds true after my cortisol test today, then it’s a problem that has to be addressed with more immunosuppressant medicine. I also take 150mg Zoloft. I don’t notice much from it, but I take it.

Please read this, I just need some help!!! I can't tell whether I have HOCD or not!!! It's tiring me. Can somebody tell me if my signs are common or not please???? 1. I don't feel good whenever I think of females. It feels weird to look at their lips and makes me anxious and I have a lot of heavy breathing from anxiety. 2. I have tactile hallucinations of a girl kissing me with tounge and I feel like there are worms in my throat or something. 3. I have dreams about girls and I never enjoy them. I often sweat and breath heavily and I can't seem to get them out of my head like it's literally etched in me. 4. I self doubt a lot. I check to see if I'm attracted to attractive females and then imagine scenarios with them and determining if I would like it or not. (I never enjoy them) 5. I get happy to think about a boy but my brain convinces me I'm forcing myself though I like it and I want it irl. 6. I don't have any sex drive and I can't remember anymore how it feels to be anxiety free and happy. My brain has convinced me I was living a lie and it's hurting so badly 7. I once came out as gay from anxiety and I didn't feel any freeness or happiness. I was more riddled with anxiety. It didn't make me that "happy" that gay people feel 8. I feel like crying when I think I'm gay/bi/ace. It doesn't feel natural but my brain tells me it is. I don't want to be gay or any other SO. 9. Whenever I think of girls my head spins. Also I feel like I'm a gay in the closet all the time and it makes me sad and depressed. Like there's this constant feeling. 10. I fear in the future I'll get a bf and I won't enjoy anything sexual with him though it feels so good to fantasize and I want it in real life. I'm soo afraid I'll realize I'm gay and I'll marry a girl. Like that's not what I want at all!!! 11. Whenever I imagine stuff with girls I'm distressed but also numb cause it has become so fucking common and I'm so scared im actually gay. Honestly there are so many more I can list out but I'm afraid it's going to be tiring to read and stupid. But please tell me anything, like anything!!!

All this depression anxiiety shit made my self esteem dissapear lol, sooo i wanna get a nosejob, is this the right time to make this desicion? Like j littetaly cant ever since hocd i feel like ive gotten soooo ugly and like i got way less attention from men and i want it back so i dont have to feel like i got ugly all of a sudden.

If you haven’t gotten therapy yet, please do it and don’t hold anything back. Humans weren’t made to solve everything on our own. We need interaction and support from other people.

I feel like i have gone insane. Sometimes when im just sitting with friends and theyre talking about stuff thats so pure and so normal to talk about and to think that thats all whats on their mind, i feel disgusted by myself. How did i get like this. I feel like im the psychopath person in my own skin when i sit with them. They talk about all this innocent things and i used to be like that too. I remember the days where i would think like a normal person and i cant tell by the way they communicate they dont have any weird thoughts or something that keeps them from being excited about their future. All the digusting thoughts in my head make me feel like im sick. Like im a psychopath like i am one of those crazy in their head persons. I just dont feel like a normal teenagergirl anymore and i miss having that lovely life i used To have. Being excited for the future, wanting to party and go out with boys. All those desires i dont have anymore and i want them back so bad because it made me happy.I have friends and they say theyre depressed which i do believe because some are on medication and stuff but they always have hope in the future. but for me its the whole future that scares me. I hate that i cant be myself and that i wont be the happy me when i grow up because thats litteraly living im gonna miss out on. Im litteraly gonna miss all the things i used to be so excitedd for. I cant even remember what those things are because all thats on my mind is this trash. I just need my innocent soul back, i feel like im poisoned with the thoughts ive had. Theyll never go

I feel like everyone here thinks im a creep because of my previous posts

The fact that I haven’t been In the mood to do anything sexual with my boyfriend just makes me even more worried and scared that I’m just lesbian at this point. I keep asking myself questions, but I just feel like lazy and stuff when it comes to doing sexual things now. I wasn’t like this before so idk what happened. No I’m not on medication, I don’t really have anxiety so idk why I’ve been feeling like this.

So I’m going to a new psychiatrist tomorrow and asking her to switch meds. I hear Zoloft is good? Anyone else have a good experience on Zoloft or any other med?

Hi everyone, I’ve never shared my ocd experience online before but am 24 yo and have suffered for 10 years. It takes many forms, ranging from hocd, pocd and rocd. I feel like the rocd is starting to affect me with anyone I become romantically involved with, whether or not we are officially a couple, just as soon as I start to feel so happy and excited it comes to ruin it. The obsessive doubts about my feelings and thoughts for the other person make me forget how to even act normal anymore towards them. I feel like every thing I do and say is overthought and fake. Desperate to have a relaxed and content relationship but this is continuously happening. I find this incredibly distressing and exhausting, anyone who feels this way please let me know. I feel so alone Thank you

Hi. I suffer from contamination ocd. I suffer from two chronic illnesses and, when I get sick (even from just a cold), it is magnified and takes an especially long time to recover. The ocd developed because I wanted to avoid aggravating my illness. I’m also very scared that what I’m feeling in my body isn’t normal and constantly wonder if something is wrong medically. I understand that with my illnesses (POTS and hyper-mobility syndrome), I feel a lot of weird sensations, but I’m always afraid I won’t be able to tell if something is going seriously wrong. I get a lot of panic attacks, wash my hands to the point of bleeding, and am constantly cleaning myself. I am tired of letting this control me, and I want to get better.

I have been clinically diagnosed with OCD (contamination, relationship, sexual orientation). I have to pick up my mother in law from the airport today and I am dreading it. I’ve thought about nothing else for the last 4 days since she asked me to pick her up. I’m doing it because I know it will be an exposure. But I am so worried she has been sick or currently has symptoms. My big thing is sickness that causes throwing up (emetaphobia). Anyone else?

Hello everyone, so I'm slowly starting to get better in regards to dating. My ex and me broke up cause I just ran away and he had issues too, but he loves me and I love him so we are currently fwb. The issue I'm having is that ever since we dated or I'm trying to get close again; my brain brings up my old ex a lot or another ex. I was wondering if anyone has ever had their OCD use thoughts like mentioning the old ex's name or something against them?

Anyone ever try Trintellix for their anxiety/OCD? That’s the route I’m on right now.

So does anyone’s OCD not let them calm down? Because maybe because I’m trying to figure this out too much, but I’m always thinking I have random words that keep repeating in my head. Please help me science.

How do other people deal with dissociation (mainly dpdr ), does anyone here experience that or is it just me? I'll talk more in a post laterHow do other people deal with dissociation (mainly dpdr ), does anyone here experience that or is it just me? I'll talk more in a post later

My harm ocd is so focused on my mom and dad. They're literally the best. Anyone else? Sometimes I flares up with others but not nearly as much as with my family. I feel like such a pos

Suffering from fears of saying a racist word. My brain will keep repeating racist words and I check to make sure I am not saying the complete word like a break in the word and then I get compulsions fearing I did say it for example was humming a song and worried I said the lyrics aloud so i would repeat to prove I wasnt saying it and it makes me worry for example losing my job.