Welcome to
the NOCD Community

So, this is really unorthodox, I know, and I am in no way advocating for this AT ALL, this is what I’m doing while I can’t afford therapy (thanks US for not guaranteeing healthcare as a human right) since I know how my own mind works, but I just wrote out in great detail why, exactly, my existential intrusive thoughts are inherently paradoxical, and cannot, therefore, be taken as fact. I realize this really goes against the whole “don’t give intro he thoughts” idea but... the whole point was to write it out, one huge fleshed out logical argument (a “last hoorah” if you will). The point of this is to realize and materialize this logic but NOT allow myself to read it after checking for grammar/seeing the finished product, NOT allowing myself to reassurance-seek by reading it. I realized that for me, and it’s always been this way, that after writing something down, or discussing it with someone, it feels more solid, and it’s easier for me to stop ruminating afterwards, and that’s the goal- to stop ruminating. Anyway, really, I know myself and I think this will work for ME, but for everyone else PLEASE DONT DO THIS WITHOUT CONSULTING A THERAPIST. I AM NOT ADVOCATING FOR THIS. I KNOW ITS NOT A GREAT IDEA BUT I FIGURED I GIVE IT A SHOT. Just felt like I needed to share, if not only to come back and track my progress later on.

i need help, if ANYONE can give me guidance PLEADE. I NEED IT. im a minor, i cannot tell my parents about these intrusive thoughts im having, so i cant get a therapist, nor can u get a diagnosis. im scared i am a pedophile. i experienced a groinal feeling a couple days ago when i saw a picture of a little kid. I DID NOT REALIZE IT WAS A LITTLE KID AT FIRST, and i when i did i freaked out. i even unfollowed the acc i saw the child on. im so scared im a pedophile. i cant live like this. what if i am but im in denial? i cant do this. ive experienced something like this before so i think i might have OCD. i was constantly online looking for answers for the thought. i was constantly confessing the thoughts to my ex (the thoughts were about him) and im just terrified. AND THEN, MY BRAIN KEEPS ON SAYING “well if you are a pedo, its okay no one knows” BUT I DONT WANT TO BE LIKE THIS. I DONT WANNA THINK ALL THIS. i wanna be normal. i wanna be a care free teenager. This whole POCD thing started about a week ago, but the last two days ive been calmer and THATS been worrying me. im not worrying as much and it gives me so much anxiety. i keep on repeating to myself, “im not a pedophile, im not a pedophile”. what do i do? ive also been avoiding children and anything sexual because i dont want to look at then inappropriatly and feel anything. i dont want to see anything sexual because i dont want to think of any kids. it worries me when im not worrying. ALSO, i keep on getting groinal responses AT EVERYTHING. is that my anxiety?? ill even feel a tingle all day if im focused on it? does it have anything to do with actual attraction??? im just so scared. PLEASE GIVE ME GUIDANCE. anyone with OCD, does it sound like OCD? im just worried because im not panicking anymore. my brain is trying to tell me i am, but i cant be. i dont want to be a pedophile. im too young. ANY GUIDANCE IS APPRECIATED.

I can't relate to any of the other symptoms that I had initially anymore. I dont know who I am

Hi, I've realised that I can only survive a day without reassurance. After that, the shame, guilt and disgust for every thought, sensation and urge I've had and for every bad thing I've done come back to haunt and cause me more pain. I'm not saying that I don't deserve this pain, but I just don't know how to leave And deal with it. I'm nothing without reassurance. Nothing. Without it I'm drowning in my own sadness, emptiness and loneliness deeper and deeper. I was doing slightly better yesterday but now I'm back to feeling like the worst human being ever. I want to cry but apparently I can't even do that. Yep. It feels great.

Hey, this is my first time posting and to be honest my first time really openly talking about my ocd so I’m just going to talk into the void and see if it helps. I’m having a really hard time right now and I’ve seen that for a lot of people here that NOCD has a good community of people. There’s a lot overall to unpack but right now the thing I’m really struggling with is contamination (particularly focused around death and what objects might have come into contact with people who have died, basically.. my wife’s grandmother just passed and I’m having a really awful time. My mother passed a few years ago, which caused me to get really sick and this is the first death I’ve dealt with since and with everything coming into the house that belonged to her (she died in her house.) I keep feeling worse and worse. (This plus covid has been.. awesome.) Multiple showers, hand washing, changing clothes.. I feel really frustrated with myself and completely ashamed because I’m obviously not being a good enough partner. My wife has been there.. she’s trying, she’ll shower or wash her hands if I ask but not without getting furious with me first, she acts as if I’m lying if I say she touched something that really bothers me. She takes it very personally and tells me that I don’t trust her enough (if I’m Anxious and need something repeated.) tonight I got called crazy and honestly I just feel like an ass of a person.

I have a question about jump cables to the car. I have OCD fear about battery acid and I think that maybe there is some acid on the cables. I know this is an obsession, but I dont know where to draw the line. My husband and I have discussions about this. I want to put the cables in a bag or some kind of cover. Do you mind give me some of reality check? My therapist has told me to do like ordinary people do. Do you have the cables loose in the car together with other stuff?

Sometimes this app feels slightly unwelcoming towards lgbt. Not in the sense where I don’t feel like I can say anything, but in the sense where I feel like people forget we exist on here. I understand that people struggle with religious ocd, but sometimes i feel like people forget that LGBT people struggle with ocd too, and it does not help when you see a bunch of people talking about going to hell for being gay on this app. Again, I understand having religious OCD and these fears and I’m not trying to censor anyone, but it just makes me feel like there’s no place for me sometimes on here, and it’s really hurtful to see these type of things.

I need some help here. I have HOCD and my brain has been telling me since the start that I am attracted to a new friend of mine( I am a female and she is a female). I know I don’t like her that way, but I just noticed her because she is sexy and very girly and also she attract a lot of man. This weekend I am going to the beach with her and some friends and I am going to sleep in the same bed with her, as we can’t afford to pay a single room. The thing is she is very confident, and let’s say self centered and she keeps joking about the fact that I am lucky that I am sleeping with her and everyone would wish for that. The thing is it triggers me a lot and I don’t know how to react and how I’m going to go through with this... She keeps saying like I’m so hot and everyone would want me,and I feel a lot of distress when she says that, sometimes I think I get jealous because she thinks she is such good looking,other times my HOCD tells me that I fancy her. I am soo scared, but I wanna beat my HOCD. Any tips?

Ever since OCD started I cannot daydream about girls without being intruded by guys and I feel like I oblige them a space in my orientation. I've allowed for that hoping it would go away, but it has stayed and now I can't almost imagine myself with a girl at all. It's like I'm going from lesbian to bisexual to straight right now. I do not know what to do except sit with it. It feels the same as I was in denial.

I just read a bible verse (Leviticus 20:13) and now i’m really scared that I am gay and that my doctors were wrong about the ocd (hocd included) diagnosis. One of my driving fears about being gay is that I won’t go to heaven. I really don’t want to be gay and I try hard but have trouble accepting and moving on from the thought.

Dear old life despite the fact that HOCD attacked me during the ending of June and now I just wanna say I miss my old life even though my ex girlfriend/fiancée left me even though I lost my grandfather a month before that and losing my best friend my cousin just three months ago despite the trauma I prefer to stick with the trauma instead of HOCD But life is hard that’s what it is life’s not supposed to be easy life it’s supposed to bring us challenges and obstacles that we must overcome in order to be stronger and be better than what we were before I’m not quitting on the flight with HOCD I don’t know how to give up but I’ll tell you one thing I’m fucking going to fight for my normality Even though that’s not a word but I’m creating it if my thoughts create some thing then I’m going to create something of my own that I want to create and I just created a word fucking Magic. That was real that was me not HOCD I’m gonna fucking kick your ass you wait and see because I’m a beast no need to tease just watch me accomplish this with ease, these thoughts are are just false you can try the assault but you will be lost so go ahead and try to throw me a toss you will see that I’m a boss. I won’t hesitate, Bring it on see if I care now, I know I’m going to decimate, you wait and see because I’m a beast my motivation has increased watch me accomplish this with ease I’m not a tease i’m a beast you you wait and see I am the key no need to plea

Anyone else been stuck, unemployed, at home for a long period of time? How does it make you feel? I'm currently studying from home and my last job was 2 years ago. I left school 4ish years ago. I just feel like shit. I have a small service based business I've been trying to get going, but its difficult and covid ruined most of my bookings this year. It's horrible feeling useless when it feels the whole world is moving, and everyone is graduating, getting married or idk reaching some other milestone and I'm just lost in an abyss of dark confusion.

I’ve been having a really rough two weeks. I’ve been great for months and all of a sudden it hit hard out of nowhere. I’m anxious, sad, and my intrusive thoughts have been at an all time high. I feel like I’m trying to do things to combat the thoughts and nothing is working for me. I’m feeling scared and trapped. Each time I hear something bad on the news or see something triggering I feel worse and the thoughts come flooding back strong. Any suggestions?

Hey everyone I’ve been doing a lot of erp work for sexual orientation HOCD and would be interested in getting in touch with people who are doing the same. Today I ramped up my exposures and had a pretty tough time. Just want to see if there are some people who’d wanna talk ab our experiences in a daily basis. Let me know !

How many people suffer from false memories ? i completed my therapy through NOCD and I still get thoughts infact they have been coming in really intense lately but I feel my brain rewiring itself especially where false memories are concerned . I suffered bad TOCD and today false memories were intruding but they are not lasting long and my anxiety is spiking down alot . I had a big issue with false memories but my mind doesn’t try to argue with them much . My OCD is hanging by a string I think . I just wanns give support love and strength to everyone battling it . I’m still recovering but I am still here for everyone and I love this community.

kindly read hi, seems like a lot of you need to be reminded of this. to those who have HOCD and POCD, it's just your OCD, it's not you. i know it feels so real and you seem to like the intrusive thoughts, but it's really just your OCD. I know this sounds crazy, but don't stop the thoughts/feeling. easier said than done, but really needed. what i realized about OCD is mindfulness is very important. you can have thoughts that won't reflect who you really are. how about your false attractions/groinal responses? JUST LET THEM. it's caused by extreme anxiety, arousals aren't just caused by sexual attraction, ya know. you lost you attraction to the opposite sex? IT WILL COME BACK. whenever intrusive thoughts and mental images come into my mind again, i always remind myself this "yeah OCD, whatever. that won't change my identity." i know, mindfulness is easier than done. it requires lots of practice tbh. to able to sit with the thoughts and feelings without giving any meaning to them is hard. BUT YOU HAVE TO DO IT. i also highly encourage you to curse your OCD, like i do "FUCK YOU OCD. FCKING ASSHOLE" "screw you and your intrusive nature, OCD. i wont let you ruin me" YOU ARE NOT YOUR INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS. DOESN'T MATTER IF IT FEELS SO FCKING REAL. OCD IS A LIAR, IT DISTORTS WHAT YOU TRULY VALUE. SO STARTING TODAY, PUT YOU DAMN CHIN UP AND DON'T LET YOUR FEAR TAKE OVER YOU.

I'm only 12 years old I've been having suicidal thoughts for no apparent reason which I found very strange they won't leave me alone so I got this app hoping I'd get some help

The whole idea of ocd being chronic really puts me down. I had these thoughts from 12 years old and it went away and it appeared back when I was 20 and harm ocd really made my life so hard. Legit ruined a year of my life and somehow the thoughts went away and now suddenly after 8 months my thoughts are back again. I feel like I’ll never enjoy my life like I used to. Looking back this is probably like my 4th time dealing with OCD... started off with Sexual Orientation intrusive thoughts then to suicidal ocd then to thinking I was bi to then violent thoughts and harm ocd and now back to ocd. I wanna live life like everyone else. At this point I think this phase is gonna get worse.

How do I accept myself? I figured I'm actually bisexual besides the OCD as I've experienced attraction to men prior to OCD and I know it was real. I'm so depressed about it I feel like I could kill myself. I don't want to be bisexual. I dont feel happy calling myself bisexual. Any tips?

can we do this thing that if you see this comment your worst intrusive thought or thoughts. this of course is a judgement free zone. feel like it would be helpful