Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Honestly I’m lost for words. All people can tell me is I’m doing it wrong and yet no one not even my previous therapist’s can tell me what to do. So what’s the point of waking up and doing anything at all? If I stop it gets worse if do something I still don’t get better. Smh. I want to get better I want to feel normal again. Do I know how no. Did my therapist know how obviously not cuz I’m not right still after 2 years. Like my goal is to get better. I want to get better. I try to take steps in getting better but yet I’m not seeing the results I should be seeing. I’m unsure how to get better anymore. I mean I meditate but yet still find myself searching for answers. I find myself still feeling empty. Like I’m doing my best and yet it’s still not enough anymore. I mean honestly I guess just laying in my bed meditating a couple times a day and not doing anything is my best bet right now. I already know people are going to tell me that I’ll get better and I can’t give up but the only way to get better is by doing the right steps and stop fucking up but my previous therapist did none of that she purposely let me fuck up and now I’m paying for it with no answer on how to get better now. I honestly can’t feel anything right now. If I’m not feeling anything isn’t this where I need help? Like what is therapy for if it isn’t to get me better but to let me fuck up to see if it’ll get me anxiety. Fucking she broke my back and now it’s cricket it ain’t put back together I know when I don’t feel anxiety and when I do but who cares right? She still gets to do therapy and I’m left with a cricket back so to speak smfh.

Hey! Any Christians out there? This is part of my OCD homework: What ways can we connect with God? One of my biggest compulsions is prayer. My therapist is giving me homework to see any other types of ways we can connect with God in a way that is beneficial. Please let me know, thank you so much 💜

Sometimes I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. I've been doing better with ERP and things were improving. But it never seems to last. All the thoughts are so persistent and I never feel any different. I still feel like I have arousal towards women and I feel nothing and disgust towards men. I feel like that is not normal HOCD. My therapist is encouraging me to just continue treating it as OCD. I find myself staring at people's body parts and not feeling anything towards guys. It makes me feel so ashamed and like I'm a liar.

Hi, I was diagnosed with pure OCD, a few years ago. Through time I struggle with various themes, starting with religion OCD, to harm OCD, pedophile OCD and sex orientation OCD. Through the years I manage not to heal completely but to manage my OCD thoughts, to build a decent life and for 1-2 years to be completely free from any OCD thoughts. To go from full OCD to free from OCD was something like a miracle for me. It changed me, I was seeing life from a different angle, appreciating each single day of my life free of OCD. I was truly happy, appreciating every small moment of my life. A year ago or so, I pass an experience that for me at least was very traumatic and I started to see the signs again of OCD. This time however was different, I could recognize the OCD traits but it was blend in with something else that I couldn't comprehend. I was seeing a therepist, and we were struggling to understand if I was also suffering from depression, bpd or cptsd. I am not currently seeing a therapist because of covid-19 and I am really struggling to understand how I can overcome all of these symptoms. I now started to understand that may struggle with relationship OCD, fist time for me. I always doupt my feelings for my significant other, I get constantly anxious if I am with the right person and when I get really anxious with thoughts I feel like I need to find the answers to these thoughts right away, and the anxiety builds even more forcing to feel that I need to get out of the relationship. Plus I have these feelings of sadness, sometimes I get really angry, irritiated, I don't believe in my self, I doubt him for everything, and I don't have any self esteem. I feel like I am at the bottom and through all of these symptoms I get lost and I don't understand what is happening to me. I read little about the quiet bpd, depression and cptsd. The one that clicks more with my other symptoms is the cptsd. So now I found myself lost because I may struggle with a new theme of OCD the relationship one and with a new condition ptsd and I really feel that I am loosig my life again. I lost my job, my relationship goes through a very difficult time, I feel that nobody understands me, that my friends don't really care, and that the more I try to get away from these symptoms the more I get in. I don't if any of you faced something similar, any suggestions would be appreciated. Just to let you know I am now searching for an online therapist in my country so hopefully of the next days I will find one. Thank you for listening.

i have this weird feeling of that i’m like not deserving of anything like i don’t deserve to be around anyone and i don’t deserve to do anything that i like its a really miserable feeling and i’m scared that it’s real that i actually should feel this way, i have done some bad things throughout my life but i don’t think i’m a bad person i really regret them now :( is this ocd ?

Can hocd make you say stuff in your head or to yourself. Does anyone else get this ?

Almost 6hrs of ERP and my anxiety is lowered but still not enough.

I am so scared I won’t be able to kiss or make love to my puddin again..!! 😭😭😭 is my relationship really gonna end! Bc I feel like I really don’t wanna do anything like that with him again... 😭😭 bc it feels like I don’t wanna do that with him anymore when I want to.. 😭😭

I have this disturbing terrible thought that I can't seem to shake any tips on how I can maybe overcome this? I'm trying to stay positive but the guilt and shame likes to take over 😔

Can ocd lead to depersonalization? This question is causing me anxiety. Because my ocd started last year. And sometimes it is worse and sometimes it is under control. I have never felt any of it's symptom. I didn't even know what it was. But as soon as I read about it I thought what if I have it. It is really hard to not think about it. In depersonalization a person fells that things around him are not real Or they are in a movie. I never felt anything like that. I know everything is real but iam stressing about it. Can someone tell how it feels like?

What to do when your mom thinks your thoughts are real that they really do mean you are something that you know deep down with all your heart that you are not. Last night she just kept calling me what I fear and that it's not OCD that it's just cleaning and checking. I feel so misunderstood and scared. I told her I wanted help and for her to just look it up that it's a actual thing. I don't know what to do. She doesn't understand that I don't want any of this I never wanted this. All she could say is that I'm going to end up in the Looney bin and that a psychiatrist would just label me. I need help 😭

Im freaking out rn, i searched «How to Know If ur lesbian» and most of What stood there was similar to me, and many of them said that they thought they liked boys but when they Got to experience boys they found out they didnt like them after all, and What If the same thing happens to me. Im so scared because Many of them Also said they were scared of being gay but then overtime Got used to it. Im literally so anxious rn

My partner has anxiety about driving so he doesn’t drive. People judge him on that a lot and it makes him insecure. My brain tells me you want a man that can drive... when I don’t care if he drives or not. But then my head compares him to his best friend who is the husband to my best friend. Saying of he drives don’t you wish your partner can drive!? 😞 so my brain is still attacking me.. when I got my license my brain is like your better than him.. I hate my brain so much.. I am so scared my relationship is gonna end.. I am having a panic attack that I can’t have sex with him again 😭😭 my head makes me feel ok about it but I know I am not... 😖😖

(Not OCD) - All of the guys in my friendship group have gone off to another group of girls. These other girls are prettier and more fun and I’m honestly very jealous of them! But overall I’m feeling quite defeated and insecure and upset. I feel like we’re just not good enough and we can’t compete. And idk what to do anymore. These are meant to be the best years of my life yet I’m having no fun.

Does anyone drinks alcohol to deal with the intrusive thoughts?

I’ve been compulsively masturbating to women for 5-6 years. My HOCD is making me think that I’ve been repressing my gayness by masturbating to only women, and lesbian porn. I would masturbate two to three times a day before this HOCD started.

hi y’all i’m currently feeling really stressed and a little down right now, but i hope everyone is doing well !

Fuck you OCD for making me doubting you and fearing the worst. Fml...

I am having trouble with erp. I feel like nothing in my head makes sense and my mind like can’t function or remember why I get triggered. I have good days and really bad days there’s no in between I go from 0 to 100. I get anal sensations and have acted on them and hate that I did. I have told myself that the anal sensations doesn’t mean I’m gay and I know I love women and always have. My mind always feels foggy

I told my dad I'd try my absolute best before deciding to drop out. And I feel as if I'm not trying enough. There's so much more I could do. But I can't even get myself out of bed to do it. I feel so guilty and shameful.