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Hi there! I really struggle with sexual orientation OCD and ROCD and am also bisexual. I’m placing a trigger warning because this could be triggering for some people I am brand new, just had my first real session today. We went over figuring out exposures and what not, and it’s been a really hard day because my OCD is super spiked right now. Over the last few years, I realized that I do have same-sex attraction, which has made my OCD so much worse. I constantly obsess about my motivations, and if I’m only with my husband because I’ve been taught that as a woman, I’m supposed to be attracted to men. However, I saw a bisexual TikTok creator say that she experiences the same thoughts. She goes back-and-forth between “ am I attracted to men because I’ve been told and taught to seek the approval and desire of men, or am I attracted to women because they’ve been over sexualized and I have been conditioned to see them as sexual objects?” This has really helped neutralize the compulsion of seeking motivation. Technology in that culture influences me, and that I’ll probably never know why I’m attracted to men or women at any given time if there are any bisexual folks out there that suffer with sexual orientation and OCD. I’m here with you, and this is really scary stuff. I’m really scared to do exposures, and I don’t know if I can do it. If anyone is able to offer some encouragement that would be super helpful. Sending you all love. Manni ❤️

i’m scared again that i’m attracted to my own body. when i watch porn, i tend to watch things with quite sexualised women (tmi maybe) and i guess i *sort of* have similar bodies to them in terms of boobs and stuff. i don’t mean that in a vain way... i don’t even like my body. but just factually, i have big boobs. and big boobs turn me on. so does my own body turn me on?? as much as i question my sexuality obsessively, enough research and reassurance has taught me that being turned on by big boobs doesn’t necessarily make me bi or gay. big boobs are a sexual stimuli! so the fear of being turned on by my own body comes down to the fear of being a narcissist / egomaniac. like it’d be so self-absorbed to be turned on by my own body. but i keep trying to rationalise it and remind myself that if i have the body parts that are considered sexual, then i am a sort of sexual stimuli. for myself even? argh i’m not even sure how to explain it but yeah. i’ve never like looked in the mirror and gotten turned on or thought of myself like that. it’s just i could imagine it i guess. but maybe not.

I have been researching medication for OCD, and am getting lots of different perspectives. I would love to know if any of you have been helped by any kind of anti-depressant medication. Many videos I watch indicate that meds only relive 15% of OCD obsessions etc. Just looking for your personal experiences, and not medical advice/instruction. Thanks so much everybody

I have literally been doing compulsions all day. I am beyond sad, I have cried countless times. I literally feel gay and that I have to go off and be happy with a women to get over this. I’m so sad and want to die. I refuse to think that my life is going to be this constant sadness.

Really struggling today... I have always identified as liking men. But yesterday, I not only successfully masturbated to a female, but it was a female I truly dislike. It makes me feel like I’m lying to myself and I dislike her because I want to be with her so badly but I’m ashamed? I don’t understand if that isn’t true why I orgasmed while fantasizing about her, and orgasmed quicker than what is normal for me. On another note, I stopped taking Effexor a couple weeks ago and my HOCD has started to come back. That ALSO makes me feel like I have these deep down desires that I can no longer just brush off because I’m not taking meds. HOW ELSE COULD I ORGASM TO THE THOUGHT OF A WOMAN IF I DONT LIKE WOMEN?

I’m so scared of being a lesbian that it’s truthfully paralyzing. I was doing an exposure where a women said that she had crushes on her friends and always took care of them. This reminded me of my best friend in high school. I never thought I had a crush on her but looking back we were very very close. To the point that when she went through a break up I consoled her and cuddled with her like a boyfriend. This thought has sent me spiraling. I feel like I know I’m a lesbian now. And that makes me so incredibly depressed that I loose all motivation to continue on in my life. I feel like I have to leave my boyfriend whom I love more than anything and go be happy with a woman. I’m scared that I will be happy, and therefore I would’ve been right all along. It’s so difficult to ignore what feels so much like the truth. I like I’m starting to accept it and that gives even more overwhelming anxiety. I never want to stop loving my boyfriend.

Hey, just looking for some none-OCD advice, as at the moment I don’t really have anyone to talk to. I’m gonna try and keep it short, so I don’t bore you! So, I’m from England, and I’m 16. At 16 in the UK, you go from high school to 6th form, where you spend two years doing something called your ‘A levels’, and then you go to university at 18, like all countries. I’ve been in college for 8 months now, but I’d say 65-70% of my time has been spent online - so I’ve only had a relatively small amount of time to make true friends. I had solid friends throughout high school, and I say I tilt quite a lot towards being an extravert. Ever since coming to 6th form, a lot of the people who I was friends with, went to a different school, and some of the people who were acquaintances I barely see now, because the school is so large. Basically, since coming to college I only have 2 true friends, and one of those has basically separated herself from me (she’s a bit of a bitch, but that’s another story - we’ve basically been best friends since we were 4 but she routinely ditches me) I’ve found that no one ever messages me anymore. I’ve got plans to go to the city with me and 3 other girls next Sunday - but I organised it. They were all excited, but I’ve only been invited out once by one of my other friends. I just feel like no one likes me, and that I’m repulsive to people - I know it’s irrational, but the fear that I’m just unlikeable terrifies me, as I want nothing more than a big group of friends and that’s not what I have at the minute. I’m desperate for someone to be like “hey, Ellie do you wanna come and sit with us”, but they don’t. And I’m usually just sat with one of my close friends, who I love. She’s popular, and people like her more than me but she’s self-admittedly introverted and I’m not. Ugh, this is long now. But does anyone have any advice? I’ve made a lot of acquaintances, but they all have their own friendship groups from high school - but I don’t because a lot of my friends went to a different school. I’m miserable because of this at the moment, and I feel worthless.

Woke up this morning in a panic after having a dream involving gay people

Is anyone’s OCD about becoming schizophrenic? It really freaks me out, I used to not care about ambient city noise at all but every time I hear people talking or noises outside or something I have to record it just to make sure it’s real and not in my head. It’s really stressful, I miss not caring about sounds or people talking. Not seeking reassurance or anything, just wanted to know if people experience this as well. It’d be nice to know that I’m not alone 🥺

OKAY THIS IS FREAKING ME OUT AM I A PEDO. I like Sadie sink and defiently found her attractive in season 3 of stranger things when she was 17. So that’s perfectly fair . But idk if I was attracted to her in season 2 or if it was my anxiety talking . She was 14.5 and I was 16.5 ish or 16 and 6 -7 months and she was 14 and 5 months . So at max I was 2 years and 2 months older than what she was then. I look at her pics from then now and she’s beautiful but looks like a child . I think of her how id think of My kid sisters friends . I wouldn’t ever date a 14 year old !. Like I remember feeling something panicking and searching up her age and it showed 18 so I was like oh okay whatever who cares if I liked her ! But omg did I actually ? Now she’s 14 and SHE LOOKED 14!!!! I don’t have a crush on her now . Was that just a POCD bout ? I can’t remember if I checked her out since if she was 18 then it’s fine . Idk . UGH .

ROCD is the worst. whenever my boyfriend and i try to make plans even just like a week out, my thoughts say “well what if you’re not even together then” and it’s so awful cause i know we will be but my thoughts just scare me so bad.

I think I’ve been misdiagnosed. I went to go and get an assessment done with a therapist because I’ve been stuffering from sexual intrusive thoughts and anxiety for about 10 months now. He gave me a few questionnaires to answer and then he said he doesn’t think I have ocd but he thinks I may have clinical depression. I’ve told him that I have these thoughts all day everyday and they make me anxious and miserable but he still doesn’t think I have ocd. Maybe it’s because I don’t have any physical compulsions and I don’t want to argue or doubt a professional but I really think this is more than just depression. I’m not sure what to do now and it’s scaring me because a if a professional says I don’t have ocd then maybe this really isn’t ocd and I am acually the monster the thoughts make me feel I am.

Anyone with HOCD that can give advice on what phrases you tell yourself when you’re having the thoughts?

can someone with rocd talk please?

What do I do with a fear of being in a denial and not having OCD? Anyone has similar experience, maybe you know how to cope?

Does anyone have any advice on getting over a groinal response to a disgusting picture of porn in the past. It happened a couple of months ago and I cannot forgive myself AT ALL, but I would like for me to sort of forget about it. Or not let it bother me as much, without forgiving myself. Because I don’t feel like I deserve to forgive myself but I would like for it to not bother me so much.

16+ (I think) I worry constantly that I don’t feel the same levels of arousal as other people, I see on tiktok all the time girls describing they’re vagina feeling like a heart is beating down their when they’re aroused, however I don’t think I’ve ever really felt that?? I then of course start to worry I’m gay/ asexual :( i never know if people over exaggerate when describing arousal and crushes online and it freaks me out

Hey another day, another crisis😏. The story is a bit complicated, so I’ll try to keep it short and simple. Basically my best friend has been hooking up/ hanging out with this guy who is a manager at our job. We are all around the same age, he’s just a young manager. Anyways once she told me they started to have a fling again, (because this has happened a couple months ago in the past), I got extremely upset. She told me and I was just really disappointed in her because this guy isn’t a good person, plus he’s our manager which makes it worse. When I tried to discuss it with her she just kept saying “it’s okay, we don’t know what the future holds, we’ll see what happens”, although this is extremely unlike her because she also has ocd and is always extremely precise and overthinking about everything. Anyways it’s been a few days, and I’m still really distraught. I want to just not care, but something isn’t allowing me to just move on. Keep in mind about a year ago I had an ex best friend who got a boyfriend and completely pushed me out of her life. I’ve been through this before, and I think internally I’m scared of getting hurt again. Not to mention my best friend is literally my support system. I realized I depend on her for most things in my life, since I have a not good relationship with my family. Her getting a boyfriend feels like she’s cheating on me in a way, which sounds absolutely ridiculous, but in reality she is my person. I wouldn’t be able to like survive without her. So I’ve been feeling this feeling of dread mixed with anger and just like crying a lot. I hate feeling like this and I want to get myself together, I just don’t know how. My ocd makes me obsess over it, and now I’m getting intrusive thoughts. What if I get so angry I go on a rampage and hurt the guy? That also sounds completely and absolutely ridiculous but Im scared I’ll want to hurt someone. I’m usually not an angry person, but now I’m convinced I’m turning crazy or something. Not to mention I started worrying about my future. To be honest I don’t think of having a boyfriend right now or really like anyone in general. I’m confused about my sexuality, because most men give me the ick. So I’m thinking about the future and imagining all my friends getting boyfriends and them caring about them more than they do me, and making me their 2nd choice for when they aren’t busy with their boyfriends. Again I realize this sounds really dumb, but I keep imagining it in my head and It’s not very fun. It makes me think I’m some crazy person who depends on my friends caring about me enough or else I’ll have a whole breakdown. Anyways it felt good to write that out. I think like any other ocd “episode” I’ve had, it’ll get better eventually, and for now I need to work on being more self dependent, and work on my self esteem.

Any tips to know when you should bring a problem up to your partner vs when to leave it because it’s an ROCD thought, I’ve been feeling last couple days like my partner isn’t giving me attention/being off and not making as much effort but I don’t want to bring it up if it’s just ROCD

Confession Compulsion? Saw my boyfriend liked a skimpy bikini photo of an (assumed) ex-match on IG a few weeks ago and a lot of people have been telling me it's nothing and it's just a like and I actually believe that too. Aside from that, my boyfriend has been nothing but good to me and understanding. Has also helped me contain my confession compulsion in a way. But lately it's like this girl has been an obsessive thought and it's like I NEED to tell my boyfriend what I saw??? even though I don't want to cause it might risk our relationship over something small and I sound crazy + to get reassurance??? but he gives me reassurance everyday too. I just need to know if its something I gotta address (but I really don't want to tell him like even my mom told me it's not worth it. it's such a small thing. It probably passed his feed and he tapped liked and moved on) but my brain is like but gotta! u have to!! he deserves to know whats bothering u!!! but if i do it'll probably move on to another obsessive thought, possibly another girl. (I was obsessing over his ex fling before this girl til he cleared it up to me multiple times and I got the reassurance I needed)