Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I need any sort of advice again Idk what to do, I feel so shi*ty rn, even accepting that Im gay isnt helping. Well I posted 2 hours ago. Am I not accepting It properly? Or do I have to give It time and embrace it or whatever? But I dont feel good. Ive completely torn apart the belief I had that I was straight pre ocd bc It gave me so much proof now when I look back to my old life, I feel blank and Its causing me so much anxiety and pain thinking that I was always gay and didnt notice. I feel like I dont have any identity right now or that Im forming a totally new one. Its so so painful. Despite feeling so awful, Im having full body arousal all the time and an urge to act on my thoughts. Ugh how the hell is this possible. I feel miserable when I think that I cant or wont be able to like girls anymore. Do I just have to move on from wanting to feel something for women? Man, before ocd I thought I couldnt get a gf or talk to women bc I just have severely low self esteem issues , but It feels like I was actually gay all this time, I already believe this so why cant I let it go? Is this what denial looks like? Ughhh

For those of you that have jobs, what is it like to work with your OCD? I am wondering that I may never be able to hold an actual job due to my OCD. I don’t want to hide away in my house for the rest of my life because obviously that is not a feasible thing to do.

So.... I got a little nervous at like 2 am, which I'll admit is the usual time I go to sleep because... of reasons. I texted my boyfriend, We hadn't really talked much that day because he had to work so I will also admit that i wanted some attention and i might have made out the situation worse than it actually was... Initially i didn't even think he would text me back at this hour but when he did i didn't want him to feel like i texted him that for nothing and also I needed some attention. Am I manipulating him because I told him i felt worse than i actually did?🥺

Today’s been frustrating as I actively chose to do compulsions/digging for like 3 hours. My obsessions are around my boyfriend’s past. One thing I shouldn’t do is go digging through social media trying to stalk everyone from his past. It all makes me feel sick even if it’s from a decade ago. I’m 29, know he’s my perfect match and we are very much in love, but the jealousy I feel over any female that had any type of relationship with him in the past is EXTREME. Today I haven’t gotten much work done because all I’ve done is scroll thru stupid social media stalking, and when I’m not doing that I’m still just unfocused AF. Trying to turn this day around, and my mood, before he gets home.

People with pocd are you guys in a relationship and does your partner know about your ocd? If so did it impact your relationship? I’m just curious about it. Or if you don’t want to post it publicly maybe we can message privately? I just want to vent to someone:(

Hi everyone, could someone give me some honest advice? Not looking for any reassurance, I just want someone's opinion on how to handle this. So my aunt has kinda become really involved with my mental health, she's kinda taken on the spot of my mom. She's been incredibly snappy and a little rude with only me for a bit now and I'm not sure why. She's been treating me like I can't be left alone and like everything I do is because of my OCD. Shes also over critical. Like just now I explained to her that I do not have the energy to drive over to the pool and hang out because today I worked, went straight to my Nana's house, then straight to therapy and I have barely had a chance to breathe. And I have plans later from 8-10. I felt the guilt coming on for not going but it's mainly her reaction.... I guess what I'm asking is how do you set better boundaries in a situation like this? Hope I explained everything okay, thanks y'all 😊💗

Hey so my therapist doesn’t know a lot about ocd and I think I might get a new one but she told me that during this time it’s normal to question “my morals” and now I’m scared I’m actually questioning my morals. I haven’t actually thought any questioning thoughts and now I’m scared that I am. I’m scared that I’m going to be okay with harming people, pedophilia, rape, etc. not to ask for reassurance but this is really hard. I’m constantly scared that I’m going to all of the sudden think those things are okay.

POCD is killing me. I feel like it’s real based on past evidence. Maybe it is real, but OCD is just matching onto it and overthinking it. I’ve been having suicidal thoughts. I cannot bear to be a p.

guys i’m scared. what if the reason erp helps is because youre coming to terms with what you actually are. i am in so much distress. is this what i actually am?? can i just be normal?? i have so much to be thankful for and be happy for…

Okay I could use a little bit of help Little less than a week ago I got really drunk with a couple of friends, and went to a college party. I had intentions of getting with this girl but never ended up doing it or saying anything to them that would be considered cheating. I also have a girlfriend I love very much and if I wasn’t almost black out drunk I would never in a million years have intended on doing such a thing. Even though I didn’t end up actually doing anything I can’t stop obsessively thinking about it and feeling overwhelming guilt and anxiety. I made a promise to myself I would never even put myself in a position to even think such a thing again as long as I’m with her. I really don’t know what to do, I don’t feel it’s really necessary to tell her because I didn’t actually do anything and it would just be selfish of me to do that. Since I’d be hurting her more to take the burden off of me, and on top of that I really care about her and it would destroy me to lose her. How can I stop having this terrible terrible feeling? This anxiety and I think it’s guilt is too dreadful. Someone help

I am new to this and just wondering how it works. I'm not exactly sure what kind of ocd I have but its thoughts of something bad is going to happen if like I dont say touch the light switch a certain amount of times. Any information will help maybe someone just to talk about it .

I wish there could be a master list for each subtype if ocd where people could go and anonymously put there intrusive thoughts or obsessions so that others could see that they are not alone (regardless of how scary, disgusting, mortifying, etc they might believe their thought or obsession is to them). Then there should be a master list for all other intrusive thoughts that don’t fit neatly into that category labeled “unacceptable thoughts” where my therapist says all other uncategorized topics go so others can see how diverse ocd is and make it easier to stop doubting if this “counts” as an ocd thought. This would not be for reassurance but to draw strength from the sheer number and diversity of people and their thoughts who are fighting right along side you.

So today my boyfriend and I finally saw each other and it was so good!!! It felt just like before but we were intimate and when we were making out it was great but when it turned more serious I felt myself get disconnected again it’s like I’m not as present as I should be and I feel horrible because I want to be. My body reacts just the way I want it to but my mind just doesn’t stop buzzing. It’s like I’m into it but I’m also in a state of panic and I think it was like this even before soocd. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me and God I hope one day I can get past this. I just want to love him.

I overcame HOCD and came out straight ask me some questions! ❤️💕

Hiya, happy Tuesday night :). How was everyone's day? I just made a really good fig butter/brief baguette 😋 Tonight's screenshot is very relatable lol--i quite literally related to everything on here. A lot of us (myself included) find comfort in our negative coping skills because it is what we are used to doing, and what we have been doing to survive for however long. But we must ask ourselves, are we HAPPY doing these things? Are we happy with being on edge, feeling empty and sad, and being disconnected from the world because we are so caught up in our thoughts? Recovery is hard, but possible. I am working on things everyday--and it is scary, overwhelming, and a pattern of trial and error at all times. We must treat OCD as an ongoing illness and keep practicing our ERP to become the best versions of ourselves. Take care of yourselves 💛

How do you open up to your therapist about very taboo OCD themes. I currently struggle with "Race OCD", always worrying if I'm coming across as racist to BIPOC. Racism is something that I find horrendous and awful. I consider myself to be an ally to BIPOC & to work and fight racism. So the fact that I'm worrying over interactions with people is complete opposite to my values. I act awkward around people, and I'm sure my anxiety is coming off as strange to people. I just don't know how to open up to my therapist about this without sounding like a piece of s***.

Im at a crossroads and theres a couple things I really need to ask and get advice and opinions on from anyone. 1- Should I try do self help and try my best to tackle ocd( If I even have it). But I feel like its too late to do that, My brains a hot mess, even towards things outside of ocd.(self esteem, social anxiety etc). My life has crippled since this started. 2- My family is very conventional and old fashioned, If I did open up to them they would get scared especially my mom. She would probably tell me to do stop being on my phone too much, wake up early, exercise and all the generic things that one is supposed to do to feel healthy and I understand where she is coming from. But I feel like Im not mentally stable. Am I just self victmizing myself by thinking this? I could try to do all this but the anxiety and thoughts are unbearable, I struggle to get out of the bed almost every day and see su*cide as the only option to be free but again I could try and give it a shot see what happens. Ive had ocd(I think) for 1.5 years 3- Even If I decided to do therapy, I think language barrier will be my biggest issue. Im not a native english speaker but I can speak well enough to get by and live in the Us and I just found a ocd center near me too. But when It comes to explaining, describing and articulating thoughts and feelings, I fall short, I run out of words. Im afraid I wont be able to connect to the therapist at all and itd all be just a waste and awkward. I really dont think I can become normal again without any outside help. I really dont know what to do then on top of all this, I dont even know If I actually have ocd or not. I dont think I do but Im not sure. I had most symptoms of It at first (I think)but idk anymore. I would really appreciate any opinions.

BRO SOMEONE READ THIS! 😭 Today was the worst. I’m already insecure about my breast size and WHAT MY FRIEND DID I SWEAR TO GOD- after reading this you’ll be mad asf too. While I was writing my paper 📝 I felt someone touch my breast edge and I was shocked. And I was like “wtf-“ and my friend who’s also a female said “my rib cage hurts and wanted to see if it yours hurt” She has boobs and wearing a bra and I wasn’t cause mines aren’t that big so I felt even more insecure that she felt I wasn’t wearing anything. So I try to convince her saying “Oh I’m a late boomer so I’m not having problems like y’all having” and she said kinda out loud but not to much. “Your growing your boobs?” It wasn’t too loud but enough for the girls in front of us and maybe few boys behind heard it. It wasn’t the whole class I hope. What if the teacher heard it. I’ve been comparing myself to other girls since school started. What a great start to the school year right? 🤌😌 I just love it 😊 can’t wait for some more trauma

Ok so this is going to be lengthy and probably have many mistakes so I apologize in advance. I used to live somewhere completely different to where I live now. I lived back in my hometown until I was 10. That was a living nightmare for me. I was bullied lots and had lots of very traumatizing things happen to me that are a VERY big part to my ocd today. When I was very young like 7 or 8 I was at a sleepover with another girl and she was pressuring me into doing things that I was very uncomfortable doing. She was pressuring me to take some of my clothes off. At the time I was very young and didn’t know right from wrong and didn’t know what to do so because she was being very peer pressure to me I did so because I was scared. I have never been able to come to peace with myself after this even though I have been told that I did NOTHING wrong and that I was very young and stuff. But then I moved somewhere completely different, and lost contact with everyone because I knew that it was too much for me to handle. Today someone from there reached out me ( a good person) and wanted to talk and catch up. I did talk to her for a little bit (it’s not the same person that pressured me) and I texted her after telling her how I needed to lose contact with here because so many of my intrusive thoughts came from living there, so being in contact with people was mentally not ok with me. She was completely understanding and all’s good. But I’m wondering. What happened with that girl. Should I fee guilt about? Or is this my ocd. I just need some other opinions. Please help me out!

Something I have to remind myself is that everyone’s ocd experience is different. I always compare my symptoms and compulsions to other people and I always feel like I’m not feeling anxious enough, not doing enough compulsions, etc. to have ocd so yeah but everyone is different and experiences ocd differently