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Does anyone ever worry that they’re inherently a bad person just waiting to do something horrific?

Experiencing a theme switch and it completely blindsided me. I feel very alone. This was the one theme I didn’t want. It’s not super awful my harm ocd was much more difficult but this one is way more isolating. I can’t share my thoughts 😭😭 any encouragement would help. Thank you..

I've been doing so much better these past 2 weeks, I actually thought I was beginning o recover... However a few minutes ago I had a horrific thought about one of my cats, she was lying next o me on the bed with her belly up and I was stroking her, I was actually comfortable being by her and was petting her and kissing her and she looked so cute when suddenly my eyes drifted to the lower part of her belly and these horrific thought popped up saying: "I wamt to r*p3 my cat " I also got a horrible intrusive image, and I was absolutely disgusted but felt little to no anxiety to the thought which is really scary. I had to get away from her out of fear of hurting her and now I feel like i'm spiraling and falling back down into the deep dark hole I was at. I was feeling good today (i haven't felt like this in almost a year) and now I can be with my cats normally, comparing when my harm OCD was at it's peak I couln't even be near them. So why is this happening again, and why did I look at my cat's pr*vate parts and felt I did it purpose w bad intentions????!! I don't want to hurt my kitty 😭

I have this classmate, we are going to call him L. L From the moment one was strange, starting to say that he liked gore and things like that, guess what, that activated my H-OCD again, it made me very bad. I talked to him, I told him not to talk about things like thst whit me. He didn't listen and now I'm trying to get away from him. People, if you are around people of this style, stay away, you are not exaggerating, if it hurts you it hurts you and that's it, you deserve to feel good This guy is really disgusting and strange, he scares me and makes me extremely obsessive

I have made so much progress but recently had a set back since the thoughts started coming in not as what ifs but more like urges with commands like “do it” “you’ll be so much happier if you did” “he’ll be better off that way” etc etc.. I’ve done exposures with knives and other things that helped lessen the severity but how can I “accept” the thoughts when I feel like they are the worse thing ever. I had one the other day that was like oh you should take out life insurance on him.. like how can I just sit with that? I don’t get as much anxiety with them and the doubt makes me now think what if I actually have intent to do it now… any moms out here who are going through this… how did you learn to just accept the thoughts as just that.. thoughts?

Even when I fall asleep feeling really good I will wake up in guilt and scared I have harm ocd and it’s like I’m scared I did something in my sleep so I feel better when everyone in my family is asleep I also lock my door at night and it’s always still locked when I wake up which helps a little but I’m not sure what to do all this stems from an article I seen about a guy who dreamt of fighting flamingos and ended up killing his family and this scared me sooo much

Hey y’all! I just joined this community. I am really excited to grow in overcoming OCD in my brain. I’ve had anxiety and phobias my entire life and have had OCD for about 1.5 years now. I have POCD, harm OCD, and general compulsive thoughts about doing things out of character. I have these mostly in social situations or even when I am alone thinking I might post something in a group chat. I don’t like traveling alone because I am afraid of what I might do. I am tired of feeling alone and I’ve been misdiagnosed several times which has made me feel helpless. But I know there is hope. I know there is a way forward and this has a name. 💪🏼🌞

As someone with pocd, mom bathed my little cousin and then gave her to me to put on her clothes. I panicked when she first told me to do it. I really didn’t wanna but eventually I put on her clothes. What I don’t understand is why am I crying after doing that? I rushed upstairs to my room & just broke down. If anyone knows anything about this, just tell me please.

I pick my face as a coping mechanism for anxiety. I worry constantly. What r some things I can do to work through this?

My ocd is making me think I actually want to commit these hanus acts and I’m scared it’s something I actually want to do but I don’t want to do it and I’d never let myself

I have a list of people I’ve “raped” or atleast think I’ve raped and it includes children back from when I was a childcare teacher and it’s killing me, i have these memories of these things happening and these flashbacks of maybe me hurting someone and I can’t tell what’s real and what my brain is making up. It physically hurts me to think I might’ve done these things and I can’t live with myself

Fear of spiraling. Losing control. Harm ocd. I just had to have a c section yesterday and everything has spiked. I’m just hoping for some positive words to get me through this difficult time. Maybe some mantras that have helped you stay positive? Reminders this is temporary? Hopefully not reassurance seeking but just needing some outside positivity

I think I might be bipolar keep on having mood swings I go from okay to sad to suicidal to homicidal I don't know why I keep on thinking about killing myself and other people I want to tell my school therapist but I'm scared that she'll be afraid of me I don't know what to do I don't want to hurt anyone but I keep on hearing voices telling me to kill people that I don't like and I can't take it and to kill myself I don't know what's wrong with me I've thought about killing people before when I really got overwhelmed with my thoughts but everyday now I'll keep on thinking about killing myself and other people what should I do I don't know where to go for help because I feel like I'll get in trouble

Hi everyone,this is my first time here(Female),I was kind of skeptical at the beginning,this post will probably be long and I apologize for it,I’ll try to cut the chase as much as I can, So since I was 9 I had OCD,my first intrusive thought was about harming my self and it was extremely traumatizing for a child of that age,not to mention I went trough some other kind of traumas like the fact that I was sexually molested as a kid various times by the same person and really never talked about until i became an adult I kinda got a bit over it,of course with out realizing that it would become one of triggers with ocd and one of my biggest fears of becoming one (Pedo) along with Harm OCD,I started struggling with POCD 6 years ago,it has been a struggle like no other,I have a niece who I would avoid left and right,I also have nephew and I would also avoid him but for some reason it was mainly my niece for some reason,my toughts would get the best of me for days that turn into months and months into years that I would eventually do something totally inappropriate to harm her,at some point that toughts went away and I would feel great being around her and my other nephews,last year I started going trough some other kind of stuff in my life which made fall into deep drinking and smoking weed,this year i unfortunately had a very bad episode as an a couple of months now,where I was in a very dark place with my self and I was totally intoxicated from both substances,that night my niece spend the night at my house,I was super scared because my toughts triggered at 100 + times! It was the craziest trip ever in my life! I didn’t even wanted to enter my room knowing she was there and that I could totally do something inappropriate to her or that could harm her and more because my toughts wouldn’t stop triggering me telling me”do it! You know you want to do a compulsion on her,eventually your gonna do it one day” All kind of nasty scary intrusive thoughts crossed my mind,at one point I could tell the difference of an event that I would consider a hallucination,and I got into bed totally freaked out about it because at that point my mind cannot tell the difference of if I did or not acted on the thought,I can’t really recall much of that night I only somewhat remember getting up from bed(if it was even real) and getting close to her,that’s where my mind turn blank,I don’t know if it was because I went to shock,either my memory suppressed or in reality nothing happened,I totally blacked out and only remember bit to pieces and one of those was when she worked up totally freaked out! Asking for my sister and I told her she wasent here and she just went back to bed,that made me freaked out even more thinking “did I do something to her and can’t recall that moment cause I’m blacking out ?!” And then my next thought was”omg I did do something to her!” All that night I remember going to bed with an extreme anxiety,Hangxiety and extreme paranoia,I was in sweat and all night just thinking “she’s gonna say I did something to her,if I did something to her she’s totally going to say it!” Next morning she woke up just fine like nothing when I’m the one suffering in guilt and disgusted of my self and extreme fear to the point I been wanting to harm my own self because I can’t bare with the idea that I did something to her! I had to vent to a couple of family member and a few of my friends,everyone keeps telling me that out of logic if I “would’ve acted on the tought” she would’ve felt something or woke up but I’m not convinced at all by that,what if she was deep asleep and didn’t feel anything,what if I did do something and I just don’t want to accept it!? My worst fear has become my nightmare alive! Please help ! Has anyone experience this of any kind,I don’t judge I just want to be helped

I cannot stop thinking about litterally I mean all day and all night since I can’t sleep either that I am manifesting harm on someone I love so so much, it’s truly heartbreaking and I’m just so over it, it’s been like this for a week now and I just can’t get it out of my head I’m like so convinced that me thinking about this all day everyday that it’s manifesting cause my ocd rumination makes me feel and think that I want harm on them when it’s the furthest thing from the truth, I’m truly so exhausted but I can’t accept such a terrible thought either idk what to do lol I’m lossttttttt

How is one supposed to be okay with uncertainty? I don’t think I ever will be. Uncertainty on wether I am a monster, or if I’ll go to jail, or that my family and all of society will shun me and be disgusted with me. I have a real event with false memory and the number one think I find myself saying is I don’t know. I don’t know if I did or didn’t do that I don’t know if my memory is accurate or not I just don’t know. The guilt I wake up with everyday is suffocating and I don’t even know if it’s deserved or not. I don’t know what to do anymore I fear death is the only way out. I hate that I feel sorry for myself I don’t deserve anything at all.

I’m almost 3 months post partum. My baby was in the nicu for about 3 1/2 weeks after birth so we had a rough start. A couple nights after I brought her home I woke up for one of her middle of the night feeds. I made her bottle as usual and started feeding her. I was just looking at her and was all of a sudden bombarded by all of these terrifying thoughts like “what if I stab her.” I was so panicked and nauseated to the point of throwing up. I just knew those intrusive thoughts were the beginning of post partum psychosis and I was going to do something terrible to myself or my baby while in the psychosis. I couldn’t go back to sleep and just cried and cried the next day. I saw my obgyn and was prescribed 25mg of Zoloft and 5mg of buspar. Each day that passed after that I started to feel a letter better. Then I got my first post partum period. After my period I started having panick attacks and terrible chest pains. I thought I was having a heart attack so I saw a doctor who ran some tests. Everything came back completely normal and was told I’m just having severe anxiety and am under a lot of stress. So I saw my obgyn again and she upped my Zoloft to 50mg and my buspar to 15mg. The first few days were terrible. I thought I was having a bad reaction to the medication my anxiety was through the roof and I felt absolutely hopeless. My harm ocd was so bad. I thought I was going to take my own life. Not because I wanted to but because I just felt so hopeless. I moved back in with my parents so that there was eyes on me at all times. I was still scared I was going to go into a psychosis and hurt my baby. I felt better after a few days and the medication had started working again. I felt completely normal up until my 2nd post partum period. I’m ten days off of my period and now I’m back at square one. My harm ocd has spiraled. I’m having terrible intrusive thoughts about hurting my baby. I know now I’m not going to go into a psychosis because if I was going to I would have already. When I’m having these thoughts and they don’t make me nauseous I start to obsess over whether or not I’m a dangerous person or capable of being violent. Now I’m stuck on that. The fact that I’m not dwelling on the intrusive thoughts the way I used to has made me question if post partum has turned me into a psychopath or sociopath. I question all of my emotions and wonder if I’m actually feeling the way I think I do or wondering if they’re generic emotions. I’m ferried. Please help.

Sometimes I question if I even have Harm OCD because I’m still able to use knives around family members. I’ll be chopping vegetables in the kitchen , but then the harm thoughts will appear and I’ll try to finish as quickly as possible and throw the knife in the sink. If I’m not avoiding knives all together would that still mean I have Harm OCD ? Are my compulsions more mental than physical ?

Been having some harm intrusive thoughts tonight when trying to sleep and I really wanted to vent but then I got scared that if I discussed it out loud or wrote it over text that the devil/one of his demons would hear and tempt someone to do something harmful to me/those I love. I have therapy tomorrow but now feel like I can’t tell her what I’m going through because of this fear. Any help?

i wake up with bad racing and intrusive thoughts. had a super bad one about hurting my dog and now i’m having a hard time being around her. i’m so sad