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I noticed ocd is about having intrusive thoughts. But does OCD come in any other way? If so can y’all give me examples?

Hello guys, Im new here and seeking for advice. Im in a relationship with an amazing guy. I love him so much and that’s why my ocd and anxiety are latching onto my connection with him. He was staying over at my place and 2 events happened (something to do with his disease and he had an allergic reaction to food) that caused my stress and anxiety levels to be higher than normal. Followed by a night of bad sleep made things worse. I became very alert and was easily triggered. Something occurred that I completely miscalculated and we talked about it but my anxiety was through the roof at this point. I got these disturbing images of me hurting him in my head. I have had intrusive thoughts in the past but it didn’t affect me this much. Because of the lack of sleep and my high anxiety level made me so afraid of myself that I made the decision to sent him home. I have cried so much since that happened. I feel so bad for having that thought. I love him so much. Our communication is very healthy so I’ve told him about this the day after (why I sent him home). I couldnt do it in the moment because i didnt want to make the situation worse. We werent in a fight when i sent him home but both emotional and hugging each other. I have the feeling that my anxiety and ocd have won the battle by sending him home (avoidance). But i care so much for him that I didn’t want him to be at risk (thats what my mind tells me, i know its showing me disturbing images the opposite of what i want). Im in the early stage of having this type of OCD but I don’t want to lose him. But for me the only way to get this relationship to work is to get rid of this. Can anyone relate? Like, having intrusive thoughts about your partner? I know its latching on to the things you love the most and I hate it so much. Thanks in advance :)

What is happening to me!!!!!! Why am I liking and wanting these thoughts when I had never had them before in my lifeeee!!!!! I clearly have ocd because I woke up 2 years ago with these thoughts and Iv obsessed and compulsed since!!!! But now I like and want them I don’t get anxiety!!!!! How can ocd do this to you?????

Has anyone found a medication for them that has worked. I’m on my second day of Luvox, but my anxiety and depression from intrusive thoughts and ruminating are so through the roof, that I feel like I’m going out of my mind. I’m contemplating trying Valium as need be until my ssri kicks in, but I’m afraid of feeling the need to take it too much and become addicted. Advice?

Been talking over how I feel and what’s happened and why I’m 30 and this has just become a thing! Iv discovered a p has jumped in my mind , this is why I like the thoughts wants the thoughts this is why the groinals are happening! Because me before this didn’t have any of these things! So it’s not me I haven’t turned into a p ! A p is living in my mind

Hi guys I’ve had ocd since I was a child I’m 37 now. I’ve not been diagnosed but I have all the symptoms and looking back at my life it’s so obvious I had it from lining up my ribs as a child to more mental compulsions now of having to ruminate and get thoughts just right to stop bad things happening BUT!!! Even tho I know I have ocd I still can’t start erp I feel like I’m constantly waiting for the right time to start erp, any advice on starting erp and seeing it through. Thanks

I'm 41 when I was 11 my parents put me on Ritalin and immediately I started counting coins and doing religious chants I got this game jenga for Christmas and when I tell you I sat there putting that puzzle together and pulling out different pieces of it for over 6 hours in the middle of the night because it didn't feel right it was awful. They brought me back to the doctor and they immediately took me off the Ritalin but I still had the OCD so they tried every drug in the book on me and I've been on Prozac and Remeron for about 30 years I also developed panic disorder with agoraphobia so I'm on Lorazepam for the last 10 years. I have the going over in my head thing and touching or repeating OCD that I still battle with where if I'm doing something something reminds me of something else that could be bad so I have to redo whatever I was doing so for instance if I was putting on my shirt and I hear an ambulance go by I have to take the shirt off put it back on think of good thoughts and the right order and then put the shirt on this can take up to an hour. Or if I go to get up and a commercial comes on that scares me about something with health I have to automatically sit back down wait until that commercial's over or if I hear a word that reminds me of something that I'm worried about I take that thing I'm worried about will happen if I continue watching whatever show I'm watching I had a gambling addiction too so playing this game Baccarat you either bet on red or blue and if I bet on red look at the table the table is blue then I look at the B from Baccarat and that's the second letter of the alphabet so I'd say I'm going to lose by 2. This isn't talking in my head slowly this is basically just me quickly thinking it you notice the blue you notice the B and all that I'm going to lose and you get that Dreadful feeling you're going to and then you do. :and sometimes it would happen by whatever I thought I would lose by and that would reinforce my OCD even though I know OCD is not some kind of fortune teller I have a hard time explaining things to people because there's so many words I'm not allowed to use because it'll trigger my OCD or I think something bad will happen. I always over explain things even though I understand people understood what I said I have come a long way but I remember when I was 20 on Christmas Eve I drove into this addition pulled into a random person's house looked at their address numbers as four numbers and then as the first two and the last two and they had to add up right and they had to add up right then I would have to look at the clock and add the time so if it was 7:15 7 + 1 + 5 13 (13 was a bad number) that would have to add right with the address and if it didn't add I would back out and pull back in their driveway I pulled in and out of these people's driveway like 40 times and I saw another neighbor staring out the window on a cordless phone obviously calling the cops like what the hell is this guy doing. There's so much more but it's hard to explain that you would have to be inside my brain to understand how it works So that's just some of the weird stuff I have with OCD hopefully anybody else that experiences anything remotely like that understands it is OCD This was my first post sorry it was so long

I posted a big post earlier but couldn’t really fit this in and wondered if anyone can specifically relate to this. This may be potentially triggering if you are at a very difficult stage with mental compulsions so please don’t read if that’s the case. I find mental compulsions stick with me. Unlike physical I find ERP impossible as with physical you can do ERP and then just walk away from wherever that compulsion would have taken place. So it’s out of sight out of mind and you can forget it, anxiety can come down and if you did think of it, you can think ‘well it’s too late to fix it because I’m not there’. So you can go about your day, your brain understands there was no threat and then when you come across the situation again, you feel less fear. But with mental compulsions, I find as it’s in your head, it feels like you could engage in the compulsion at any time. Like you can try resist the compulsion, but then you keep remembering it as you’re not leaving it anywhere, it feels attached to your mind. If you start to forget it, you check if it’s gone and then it comes back. It feels like the opportunity to carry out / fix the compulsion is always accessible as it’s done in your head so wherever you go you can do it. So it follows me. And then because I keep thinking about it, I ruminate and the fear factor increases and the consequences get more irrational. To make it worse, I’ve developed an obsession that mental compulsions are more dangerous and that by ignoring them I’m subconsciously accepting my intrusive thought (fear of losing control) and training my brain to make my intrusive thoughts reality, so that when I feel better and have forgotten this compulsion and think it’s in the past, my intrusive thought will suddenly come true all because I didn’t give in to the mental compulsion and I’ll suddenly lose control and become some evil person against my will. Now obviously that’s OCD talking, right? And if I were to over come it, that would seem silly and wouldn’t happen. But having This thought process completely prevents me from ever being able to let go of the mental compulsion. As when i do start forgetting, I suddenly freak out and remember the consequence that may happen by allowing myself to forget. Then it resets my need to carry out the compulsion. It’s horrible. The obsession also says that if it came true it could happen at any point in life like ‘remember that time you didn’t do that compulsion… well you’re about to be a psycho’. So it’s not like I can apply ERP and accept that nothing happening means avoiding the compulsion was the right decision because my obsession and fear isn’t time framed. Urgh it’s exhausting! I just hope I’m not alone in this. It just has be doubting everything and fearing for my life

***this may be very triggering so please don’t read if you’re struggling a lot with your OCD**** So I’ve been doing ERP (without a therapist but on a waiting list) for my physical compulsions and I was achieving so well. But then Mental compulsions took over and they are taking over my life. I really hope there’s someone who can relate to this and hopefully teach me that I will find peace. I will sometimes have compulsions that occur through imagery in my mind. This is new for me but has topped all my physical compulsions which I never knew was possible. In fact I’m at a point where I wish I was overwhelmed with physical compulsions rather than this current torture. For example the other day I was at a house where I felt very panicky and gave into a bunch of physical compulsions. When I got home I felt disgusting. The thought of that house was traumatising because of how much stress I induced while there. I couldn’t bare to think about it, I just wanted to forget about any memory of it. I layed in bed and closed my eyes and unintentionally imagined the outside of the house I had visited and as I did I had a harm intrusive thought - what if I lost all control of myself and harmed someone I love against my will - now I’m the most loving sensitive and caring person so this OCD theme has been debilitating for me, but i had been overcoming it with my physical compulsions. I opened my eyes and instantly had the compulsion that I needed to close my eyes again and imagine the same thing again (the outside of the house the exact same way as before) - only this time I imagined their living room instead. I usually have to do things twice to cancel them out (represents ‘on’ and ‘off’… so stupid) so I opened my eyes and panicked because to fix things I needed to correctly imagine the outside of the house as I did earlier. But before I could do that I now needed to imagine the living room the right way, and then I could imagine the outside. But I kept imagining different rooms and couldnt get the image of the right rooms meaning I was going deeper into this house unwillingly. This created a backlog of mental compulsions I needed to fix. I needed to work my way back out the house the same way I went in but my brain wasn’t letting me. I opened my eyes and I was sweating and panicking. I felt trapped and like the only way to ever escape this anxiety and eliminate the threat would be to go back into my mind and fix these errors. I felt helpless and trapped in another world. I felt like my whole life was over now because I could never fix this. Unlike a physical compulsions this was happening in a world I was imagine in my head. I couldn’t just simply go and flick the light switch or tap on the wall. To correct the compulsion I had to actually mentally imagine it. But my mind wasn’t letting me. I felt detached from myself. My anxiety peaked and I had an anxiety override (body tingling, I felt cold) flush through me. And suddenly I felt a sudden lack of care and felt relief. It was like my brain had got so worked up it just let go of the compulsion urges. I fell asleep. The following day I woke up relieved that that mental compulsion episode had left me and I didn’t need to do anything. I cried to my partner who doesn’t know the extent of my OCD, I hide it a lot. But I do get emotional over it. But I never tell him what my ocd entails. All he knows is ‘I have OCD’. I said ‘I’m free’ and felt so relieved. I felt slightly at unease around my house as I was slightly traumatised by how petrified I was and everything was reminding me of it. But I moved on and had a great day feeling relaxed and ready to tackle any OCD that came my way. That was until the following morning I woke up feeling anxious about what I had experienced. I started feeling that I had tricked myself into being over it and felt detached from the world again. I started feeling that I needed to go back into my head, back into that house to fix the compulsion errors. My brain telling me that if I don’t, that unfixed episode will haunt me for life. That even if I get over it and forget, it’ll lie dormant and then come flooding back at a later point in life. It was telling me that all my intrusive fears will happen at some point in my life as a consequence to not fixing my errors and escaping that house. I keep telling myself this is all OCD trying to keep a hold of me. Sometimes my anxiety will ease momentarily and I’ll feel more rational, but then I doubt it and think but what if that’s it lying dormant. And then it comes flooding back. I don’t feel ERP will work for this one. It’s been 2 days now of me trying to avoid the urge to go back and try to fix it. I feel like it’s inevitable that lll have to go back and fix it. Because it seems like I won’t get my life back ever again if I don’t. That’s how it’s making me feel right now. But then I’m scared that if I do go back to fix the errors, I won’t be able to fix it easily. I won’t be able to imagine the right rooms and will only make more errors. I feel like I can’t win. I feel like the only way to get back to reality is fixing these mental compulsions. I just don’t know how 😰. I’m so scared, I know deep down this is all OCD. These fears are obsessions and intrusive thoughts morphing to avoid me escaping OCD. I know it’s illogical and I know the only reason I feel so much meaning behind this mental compulsive world I imagined was because these images of the house was just thoughts that made me feel uncomfortable and I attached meaning to them and taught my brain to fear it. I know I created this fear but it feels so real to me now I’m just stuck. Can anyone relate to this. Does anyone have mental compulsions that feel like a rabbit hole, like a trap and a long list of errors you can’t fix. Is it normal to feel this way. Is my life over? 😞😞😞 I just want to be happy again. I just want to be able to engage in life again. My boyfriend is my whole world. I love him so much and I can’t focus on anything other than this one mental compulsive episode that I feel I’ll never forget. It’s so overwhelming that I haven’t had any physical or new compulsions since because my mind is too preoccupied with how I’m going to deal with that one episode.

I am that convinced I just feel Iv got to leave this earth , I can’t live with the secret so I can’t live anymore , and I’m so sad cos my family are adamant it’s ocd because I’m 30 and these thoughts and feelings and groinal responses have only came about when I obsessed about this

I have had OCD for about 20 years and have experienced many themes during this time but I have found the hardest to be the existential theme. This theme started about 3 weeks ago and has centred around the universe. I was driving home listening to some music and a thought went through my mind about the world and gravity etc… this is something I have never really had an interest in, possibly because it caused some anxiety when I was younger but I just cannot shake the thoughts. I have also been experiencing DPDR episodes over the last 3 weeks too which makes the whole situation quite terrifying. I have been put on 50mg Sertraline so I am hoping this will hope and also start ERP Therapy either early September/October (NHS waiting list). I understand it is quite a common theme but it can be absolutely terrifying at times!

I keep getting thoughts like… “I hope she sleeps now.. and longer” Or “i look forward to she gets older and can take care of her self…” I don’t want to think like that… i just want to fucking enjoy the time with my little beautiful daugther… Are these thoughts intrusive… (i don’t want to think like this…. But it makes me question if i don’t like her or being a dad…. 😔

Hey everyone I finally have built up the courage to get a therapist. I feel like I have Harm OCD(struggled daily for the last month)& I’ve struggled with anxiety (for the last 4yrs or so). Its been getting the best of me for the last month or so. Unfortunately the HOCD goes after the people dearest to me who I would never hurt in my life. It’s been so bad that I’ve lost sleep and avoided people out of fear of those intrusive thoughts actually happening. The shame that it brings is almost unbearable, it’s brings deep depression without wanting to live. like my family deserves better along with feeling like I’m absolutely nuts and belong in a hospital. I would love to get my life back on track mentally so I can enjoy the people I love the most without being scared of hurting them and being able to function normally throughout the day(work,ball games etc)Any tips or pointers would be greatly appreciated until I am able to see a therapist(waiting on medical referral)

Hey guys, I just downloaded this app. I believe I have OCD on certain things. I check the stove before I go to bed 100 times over and over again even though my eyeballs clearly tell me it's off. I sometimes switch the light switch on and off multiple times until i am finally satisfied that it's off correctly. Sometimes I even count when i do it. I also obsses about my birth control. One of my fears is to get pregnant. I take my birth control every morning at 6 am and go back to sleep but sometimes get intrusive thoughts that I didn't take it even though I did, or I think irrational thoughts. like for example. I think my birth control will go back up my throat when I lay back down to go sleep after taking it. I'm a big drooled, so I always think my drool will bring the pill back up. Makes no sense. I know :( but it's just something I fight in my head every day. Even now, as I type this. Sometimes when I park my car I have to check 100 times that it's in my park because I worry it will roll backwards or forward and it crash and me become carless or even worse. Hurt someone. Anybody else go through this?

Hello! I have been in a relationship for 8 years with my boyfriend, and I am trying to figure out why I am getting these obsessive thoughts about my boyfriend, and I am trying to learn how to not let them rule my life and my relationships. Because they are. I have a million thoughts a minute when I get annoyed by something he does. Oh where to begin! I have crippling OCD (and have had it since age 7), and it has always affected the relationships that I have in my life. ESPECIALLY my romantic relationships. Does anyone have any advice on the intrusive thoughts that are pounding in your mind when you are in your relationship? Thoughts such as: is he the one? Does he love me? Do I love him? Is there someone better? Is there a more perfect person? (This specific thought it toxic bc there is no such thing as a perfect man.) I also tend to focus on the negative. For example: things he does wrong, things he could do better. I want to think positive: focus on the amazing things about him, his amazing qualities. But my mind does not let me go there sometimes. It’s ruining me. I’m too focused on the future as well. These thoughts are making me almost resent my boyfriend… and 99.9% of these thoughts aren’t true at all and they are not making my life easy and it’s really effecting me. Thank you guys!

Good evening my amazing fellow OCDieties. Wanted to reach out and ask a few questions and if ppl would like to share their experiences that be great but if not and just want to read and see others’ that’s just fine too. 1) when you find peace during our OCD what does it feel like to you? Does it make you want to do anything? 2) even non-OCD ppl experience loneliness and depression and destructive rage. Do you feel more isolated you think than them? Do you feel like no one understand you? If so do you think it’s because of your OCD or you as an individual. 3) what’s your aspirations in this world? What amps you up (even if it’s fleeting) about life? What motivates you to overcome OCD? My responses 1) it feels like pure bliss. Honestly experiencing OCD at such a young age and getting this peace just showered over my body and I literally do not have a care in the world. Everything is perfect because this peace is absolutely amazing and I will never take it for granted. It makes me just enjoy EVERYTHING. I have limitless energy and it just makes me want to be in the world expressing me 2) I have felt lonely for along time. Not that I’ve ever been one but definitely lonely. Always black sheepin’. I don’t believe it’s because of my OCD however it definitely hasn’t helped. I do believe some of my thought patterns and ruminating has been a gift of great power but one I was never in control of. Not along have I searched for knowledge and reassurance because of my OCD it has made me learn so much of the world. Personally I always loved learning so my OCD for me is like an extension of myself in a less controlled beneficial form. It has greatly amplified my compassion, understanding, and kindness towards others and idk who’s I be without that. The whole “what if this happened or what if they think this or that or did that even happen” was all glimpses for me of how big my world is and how much I wanted to step up and understand it and be a part of it. 3) I want to impact ppl. Not necessarily world wide or even country or state. I just want to be a difference for ppl. I want to be a hero. I want to be able to bring something to this world for others. Because without anyone else in this world even if I have never had any issues I would remain lonely. I didn’t build my apartment, my car, I didn’t give birth to my family, friends, make the amazing food that I love until I had for the first time. All these things were done by those who came before and those are here now. I just want to give back. Being there for someone even if it’s a random conversation with a stranger. Just being some light amps me up for how many ppl were and are a light for me. I’m Motivated to be a healthy stronger version of myself so I can give back more and not be halted and get in the way of myself anymore. So I can be there/here in this world and give the world me. Thanks for reading

I have a pretty extreme case of OCD. I’ve been on medication for 15+ years. It started when I was in my early 20’s & slept with someone for the first time. I became obsessed with HIV. I was convinced I had it. Even after the 3 month, 6 month, 9 month year, I wasn’t convinced. I would continue to have HIV tests that my doctor told me were not needed. I wouldn’t be intimate with my partner because I was convinced I would give it to him. Every time I had a new boyfriend and we went past certain steps, I would obsess about HIV. Nothing else. Not all the small stuff, just HIV. It was a very hard thing to live through. Years later, when I was pregnant with my son, I had convinced myself that my unborn baby was not my husbands. Even though I had not slept with anyone else in 8+ years since we had been together. I could justify it. There was one night that I went out with friends right before I found out that I was pregnant, and although I remembered everything about the evening, I convinced myself that maybe I drank too much and I had been raped in the parking lot, or bathroom. My husband knew this was irrational but I couldn’t get over it. My pregnancy was not fun for me. OCD stole it from me. When my daughter was younger, I would have triggering thoughts whenever a plastic bag was in the room. Or a big knife. The Casey Anthony story wrecked me. It was happening at that time. I would only spend time with her with my family around, or I would find an excuse to have my parents have her. I tried to avoid my own daughter because I thought it was in her best interest. More to come… have to go into the store with my family.

I can't do I really wanna be poly? Why why why why I don't understand. I just want me and my boyfriend it was always the two of us. I don't wanna share my boyfriend with other girls. I don't wanna be with other dudes. It doesn't stop! It keeps saying things in my head. Ik in my heart I will never EVER be poly. I'm happy just the two of us. But my head, my stupid twisted head just wanna make me question that. I had not one not two but 4 ANXIETY ATTACKS just because I was scared of manifesting my boyfriend to be poly or these poly thoughts in general. I even confessed my boyfriend about being poly just to see his answer and he said "that's not us babe" and I was so happy! But now it's questioning me. It keeps questioning me. Making me picture another girl. It keeps forcing me to be poly but I don't wanna be. I can't I don't even know what I want. Why do I feel bad for a girl WHO'S NOT EVEN REAL. Like first of all he's mine :,3 second of all me and my boyfriend BOTH said we are not sharing each other. I can't keep repeating the same words every day. I can't keep doing this. I really don't wanna share my boyfriend. I do NOT want a open relationship. No no. I don't like it. It's like I don't even know who I am. I should be happy that it's just the two of us. Is this ocd. Can ocd trick you like many many times to the point your like feeling crazy. I tried sitting with my thoughts. It ain't working because I'm scared of it coming true I feel like I have no choice. It does want me to know what I want. It's like making me view everything completely different. I can't even remember anything. I feel like shooting my head. Help me. please please help. Someone help. I can't do this. I can't even think of my boyfriend without thinking of another girl. this is so unfair. Why not the two of us. It has always been the two of us. It keeps making me rethink everything that me and my boyfriend had done together. Please help me please anybody please. I can't do this alone. I can't.

How do you guys make your mornings less hard? The ocd and anxiety is so terrible in the mornings… how do i make my mornings better so it will make a better start of your day

Hi - I’m a Mom of 3 with Harm OCD. I’ve had OCD for a long time since I was a teen, prior to kids. It’s been harm/sexual orientation, etc. pretty much every theme at some point. My harm OCD got set off so badly by the Lindsay Clancy case back in January. It seemed to settle down for awhile and now is so bad again. I question if it’s even OCD at this point or if I’m actually an awful person wanting to do these things. I’m really struggling. The thoughts feel like urges and it’s all day long. I think of the case everyday wondering and trying to figure out if it was OCD that she had that turned into her losing control and feel sick to my stomach then panic that will be me. Any other Mom’s out there dealing with similar issues? Thank you.🤍