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I was helping my child and i knew if i walked away itd cause a groinal and i knew she was going to respond to my question so i walked away and said no compulsively because i anticipated a groinal but ocd said i did something bad

my living situation is interesting (to say the least) but i cant do anything about it and it’s making my life so much worse and more difficult than it needs to be. im on the verge of relapsing after ~7 years and im finding it really difficult not to go through with my “plans” (if you’re picking up what im saying) on top of this, i’ve been having a spike in my obsessive thoughts lately and i keep being reminded of past memories and some childhood trauma and i feel so sick. my mind is convincing me that trauma is the reason i “must like little kids” or the reason why God is after me like i thought He was all these years or the reason why i keep getting intrusive thoughts about my teacher everything seems to trigger everything and i am so sick of it. i want it to all go away and i have no private place to rest because of my situation and i have no one to talk to about this. if anyone has any advice or suggestions or comfort please let me know

I turn 17 in two days and I’ve been in a panic that I’ll still have attraction to 14 year olds, because I actually do not know if I do or not, I just can’t tell. I don’t know how I’m gonna tell. idk if I will or not, and it’s all super confusing to what I really want, it’s like “do you like 14 year olds at that age??” And I say no? But it feel like I’m also lying, and that I actually do? idk what to do? My brain keeps justifying it to be fine cuz it’s only three years but I really don’t like that, so I’m worrying that I will feel attracted

I was reading posts that might relate to what I’m going through. I encountered a few people with POCD who have physically checked (full self intimacy thing) their attraction as a compulsion. I am petrified of doing this and because I read about it I’m so scared my brain will make this a new thing. And ofc it’s something that pops up when I’m trying to do something intimate. How would I know that I’m checking vs having intrusive thoughts/intrusive thoughts about checking?

I finally got my OCD confirmed a few minutes ago. I have severe OCD. I feel relief but at the same time I feel so scared because all of this feels much more real. My mom isn’t the most open minded so I could only tell her very little about my ocd, just scared of people dying is what I said. I can’t tell her about the harm ocd, the pocd, or anything else. I feel like I’m lying to my family by keeping all that from them. I haven’t been able to stop crying. I finally have a diagnosis :)

I have words that I want to say in a lot of different ways to see how I sound what?? It’s usually names but I feel the urge to say a specific name in a lot of different ways and sounds so I know how I sound and feel. Is this even ocd? Like it weird I’m not saying this with the same sound but I’m saying the word until I felt all the sounds I can say so how know how I sound or something. Like it’s super weird and it’s a word that relate to my Pocd (like name) that I want to say on a lot of different ways to check how I sound and I have the urge to do it. But I really don’t want to so I’m saying my name in a lot of different ways so I know how I sound

I'm scared because I keep remembering a memory of something I did when I was 3 while next to my sibling who was 1 at that time and now I'm scared I a*used her and that I'm an abusive, bad, evil POS! (I don't feel comfy sharing all the details, but I was a chronic m*sturba**r as a small child and I find that to be "sexually deviant" behavior because that's what I was taught being Catholic. However, I have a child development background and know some kids just "do this" and it doesn't always signify that you were a victim of CSA/you're an abuser or bound to become one... any advice on how to deal with this damn thought....

Some days I really feel convinced that my thoughts are true, like i genuinely couldn’t tell you what I am or how I’m feeling, but some days I know it’s just OCD. But even then my brain tells me I’m just blaming it on ocd and the thoughts I’m having are repressed desires and I’m just in denial

I just saw a triggering instagram post, and there was a young girl in a swimsuit and I got triggered badly. i want to cry. i had an intrusive almost explicit thought of me doing something horrible and i scrunched my eyes and flinched my whole body so hard at the idea. it felt very real, i just had an another intrusive image and i put my hands on the head. i got so scared. i wasn't attracted at all, i know that, but now I'm so fucking scared that now that I had that intrusive image I could start considering the idea of it, that i could like it, that i could normalise it, that I could start thinking that it isn't any different from an adult. I don't want that at all. It feels so real, the fear, the worry. I'm very triggered. I don't want it, but I'm afraid that all of it takes for me to become a monster and begin liking the idea it is simply to cross that limit, and it looks very easy, the idea feels terrifyingly real. I'm scared. i don't know what to do. i feel like i have to figure this out by compulsively checking but then im afraid of what would happen, of what i would find out, and the thought of mentally testing that thought feels terrifying. i won't do it. im so stressed. im so stressed and bothered by that image of the swim suit, and the mental comparison and similarity-association to an adult body and the following intrusive thought that happened of me doing something unthinkable and it looked so real, and my brain telling me it's the same thing, that it looks similar, and why it kind of did??? it shouldn't be associable in any way possible. this is what is freaking me out, the fact that it looked similar and the fact that my brain told me that and that i kind could see it, and the fact that my brain made me think of something horrible telling me it's similar. i cannot tolerate it, i can't tolerate that it was even possible, that my brain made me think the unthinkable and that it associated that small body to an adult body and told me that it looked similar, that it was "possible", ocd was telling me that it's not that different and that it is possible and it showed me that reality. I feel suicidal (but i won't do anything so don't flag this post, im just venting my emotions). i don't know it feels like nobody can help me because nobody went through this.

My intrusive images were an absolute nightmare back in April. I honestly don’t even know how it got better, I had written a letter to God begging for help. Well recently idk if it’s because I’ve been stressed a lot again and ruminating on a lot of pocd related things from the past the make me worry, but the images have started again and even though they are repulsive and awful, I feel like I’m not reacting how I should. I think I just got to where I would just try to like blink it away and ignore it, but I feel so bad if I’m not feeling absolute shame and guilt. I feel like I feel too normal and sometimes I forget that if anyone knew besides people on here, I can’t imagine what people would think, but I also know it’s not who I am so I feel like I don’t worry as much as I should. Also, I can’t stop worrying about fanfiction I read when I was like 16 and 17. It really bothers me because I keep wondering did I imagine this one character my age? Why did I read this? Did I even know what aging up was then, and even if I did it’s wrong and gross anyway but if I didn’t age this character up then that’s awful. And i just can’t let go but I think it’s triggering me to have the images so idk what to do.

I’ve been struggling with breaking the cycle of hyper-awareness around my actions. I’m afraid that if I let go and stop overthinking, I’ll somehow slip and do something really bad, and that fear is hard to shake. For example, I’ve been trying to engage in behaviors that felt natural before this flare-up like playing with my dog. But I’m really focused on not touching her inappropriately while still trying not to avoid the areas near her tail. While part of me feels a bit more comfortable now, I’m not sure if I’m truly moving forward or if I’m just giving into another compulsion. I feel like I’m constantly second-guessing whether I’m being cautious and mindful or if I’m stuck in hyper-focus and questioning every move. Has anyone else dealt with similar experiences? How do you tell when you’re making progress versus just feeding into the OCD cycle? And how on earth do you handle the guilt and shame that linger?

The other day I made a post about being kind and supportive and not being judgmental when commenting on other people’s posts because someone made a comment on my post insinuating that I don’t have ocd and i’m actually just a bad person. At first it didn’t really bother me because I know i’m not a bad person but now my ocd is latching onto their comment and it’s making me feel horrible. My post that they commented on was about how whenever I think things to myself like how my pre teen daughter is blessed to have slim legs and not chubby thighs like mine and she’s growing up into a nice shape or my teen son has a nice shape jawline and neck and it’s good that he’s slim but he’s too slim or how all of my adult kids are so handsome/beautiful my ocd turns my random normal mom thoughts into something inappropriate. I know I don’t think of or look at my kids or any kids or young person in an inappropriate way. My ocd says I do and I was seeking support. That persons comment was so damaging for me. I tried to think maybe they have never had dark disturbing intrusive thoughts with their ocd themes and maybe they just don’t understand or maybe they have never had pocd theme or maybe they are not a parent but even if all of that were true, their comment was still so judgmental and damaging. I am struggling even more now because my ocd is latching onto that persons comment and making me feel like a horrible person. Has anyone else had this happen? How did you get through it?

I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.

TW: mentions of S3xu@l @buse Like the title said I had a really horrible dream of my abuser performing oral sex on me. And Inside the dream I kept having the same feelings I had the day he abused me. I had also the same feelings I have when my OCD attacks. The thing is my brain kept trying to switch his imagury of that of a woman (which is way more pleasing) still I remember his face and I woke up with a lot of anxiety and disgust. I honestly hated it I know OCD can affect dreams I just hope this doesn't become recurring... I really don't know what to say anymore. I didn't enjoy it but my OCD keeps trying to say I did. I think this is the worse part of it really.

I, like so many others, have had ocd for most of my life. I have had many themes throughout my life. I am a mom and have had harm and pocd as well. For me those have been the most difficult and most painful themes. I have seen many people post on this app and they have had some pretty horrible and disturbing intrusive thoughts or false memories and real events ect. much worse than mine and I have never judged anyone because I know how bad ocd and intrusive thoughts can get. I had someone comment on a post I made recently asking me if I even have ocd insinuating it’s not ocd and i’m a actually just a pedo. That upset me so much because anyone who has experienced pocd knows how horrific and disturbing the intrusive thoughts can get and how opposite of who we really are ocd is. Our ocd already makes us doubt ourselves so to have a fellow sufferer of ocd say something like that can be so damaging. So many people are afraid to seek help or post on apps like this out of fear of being judged so we have to be mindful of what we comment. This person, after reading their bio has never experienced that theme and so they have no idea what it’s like or how bad it can get. I am writing this post because I think we need to be more understanding of those who suffer with themes we haven’t and not be judgmental especially if we don’t know them or their ocd story and what they have been through. I beat my ocd and for years I was ocd free until a recent stressful situation in my life and it came back and has been relentless and worse than ever before. I have had so many kind people give me great support on this app and I give support as much as I can when I see posts of others going through similar things as me. Be kind and think before you comment.

Was looking for lingerie to wear when my boyfriend comes over in a few days, I saw a dress and thought "oh easy access" and then seconds after had a super frustrating and gross thought about POCD.. then convinced myself i actually wasn't thinking about my boyfriend when i saw the dress, and that i was thinking about a child intimately. i feel disgusting, i cannot stop trying to trace back the thought of whether i was thinking about my boyfriend or a child, and i feel so nasty. i'm incredibly stressed, i want to shower and wash my body because that's my compulsion for POCD, but i've showered 6 times already today and i really just want to lay in bed. i feel disgusting though. i know it was only a mental thought, but it makes me feel disgusting physically. i know this is ocd, i know i'm just having ocd, but with POCD it feels real and disgusting. i truly don't know if i was thinking about my boyfriend, i mean the only reason i was shopping for lingerie was to think about what he'd think i'd look good in, and then that thought after seeing the dress happened and now i'm so disturbed. here's how it went down after ruminating way too much scrolled down past a dress, had a bad thought about pocd as i was scrolling back up to it after thinking easy access, and now i'm convinced i wanted to buy that dress after having a POCD thought about it. i REALLY just want to shower and change clothes and feels clean again, but i know that's a compulsion

I have a favorite character from a video game which of course has to be a damn child (he was an interesting character and was actually based on my favorite horror movie which what made him my favorite) and I made an oc cause I could do that which she is a little girl since the character is a young boy as well and (it’s a whole thing) and I thought it would be fun but now I’m just suddenly having these thoughts about being attracted to the character which I never really was and I want to keep it that way. I feel so ashamed and it just keeps coming to haunt me. How do I stop this madness? I don’t know if it’s because I’m an adult now and have a mind of an adult or what I just want this to stop bro. Like I NEVER felt attraction to the character what so ever he was just my favorite because he reminded me of my favorite horror movie character. And I guess it was because we got to see the horror movie character grew up and the video game character never got to see as an adult. Which is kind of disappointing actually because it had three games to the series. Like…

I’m really scared to talk about this but I feel like it’s bothering me so much right now. Idk what started my groinal responses but I realized that they’ve been going on for a long time. This whole thing is weird idek if it is a groinal response or if i’m trying to trick myself, but the only thing i’m sure about is that I hate it so much and I pray everyday that it goes away. So I noticed everytime I get excited or happy I start feelings stuff down there. Like I remember when I used to take care and sleep with my baby neice while her mom was at work. I swaddled her up and layed her next to me and just seeing how small she looked, I felt like I was a mom. But, just the feeling of taking care of her like i was her mom made me feel something down there. When I noticed it I was like wtf… why do i feel that. Ik for a fact that im not attracted to kids but why did i feel that. It happens alot when I spoil my neice and nephews, like i was at the store today and I saw pajamas that I knew my neice would like and then I was like shes gonna look so adorable in this and then I get that feeling again. Idk what it is. Idk i really dont know I hate it so much. She doesn’t deserve this.

NO MINORS i was on the subway and there was a baby in a stroller. i thought "cute :)" while looking at him and had a groinal response that felt good. i had no intrusive thoughts, nothing, just that feeling. what does that mean, it's not even the first time, why does this always happen around children

Hello everyone! I’m from Italy and I’ve been in talking therapy from 2018. Been diagnosed with OCD in spring 2022 after years of crazy suffering (themes like religious and scrupolosity OCD, main theme POCD which brought me into depression and desperation. Nothing got better of course in the talking therapy). In summer 2022 I started being on Zoloft + informed myself with content on instagram that helped me SO much in making things better. So I decided to choose a behavioral-oriented specialist in ocd. Found one, started the treatment in summer 2023. The thing is, that we are not really doing ERP as I know it from online info. His explanation of OCD is that it comes from not being able to take a strong position in your life, in several things (indeed, I am a big people pleaser). So we are working on me being more able to stand for myself, which is good, and I see improvement. Also in obsessions. But then, when sometimes obsessions come back, I feel immediately the guilt of “ok so where didn’t I take my position”, because he’s usually telling me that obsessive episodes reappear in periods in which I’m not taking my position (and this would lead to trusting less myself, so obsessions come). But this seems to me to differ from all of the content that I find online. Also, he’s not really providing me help for what to do when I have the obsessions, or how to deal with harder exposing situations in which I find myself in my daily life. So in those occasions, I just try to manage by myself with the information I have. Can some specialized therapist tell me if this explanation/therapy is harmful for ocd, or if it’s fine? I’ve been questioning myself about this for a whole year now. It’s hard, because I wouldn’t want to change therapist again, and don’t want also to question the procedures of a specialized person. But I also want to treat my OCD as best as I can. Thank you very much!