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How do I not shut down and go quiet and cry when my partner is trying to have an uncomfortable conversation with me is anyone else dealing or dealt with this ?

I’m having a hard time figuring out if my feelings about my romantic relationship are ROCD or true feelings. For context, me and my bf have been together for 4 years, broken up once before (about a year ago) and almost again a few weeks ago. I’ve been feeling so disconnected from him, despite his efforts to change and make things better in our relationship. I’ve also been feeling like I want to date other people, but at the same time feel like he’s it for me… is there a way to tell ROCD from regular feelings?

So I’m married, but I’ve always had these thoughts about other people. Everything feels like a romantic connection to me and I’ve tried to place it to the back of my mind. However, every time I meet someone new through my husband, I think “maybe I’m with my husband to meet my soulmate.” I’m struggling with this even more because I found out one of his work friends is interested in me and now I can’t stop thinking about said friend. I found him attractive at first, but now he consumes almost every one of my thoughts. This has happened multiple times through my relationship. I love my husband and want to spend the rest of my life with him. We have children together. I don’t know how to get these thoughts to stop. It has happened every relationship I’ve ever been in and I feel miserable. Even someone smiling at me in public makes me think maybe they’re the one and I made a wrong choice. It’s miserable. Please help.

Hi all, I’m just coming off of a bad cold and I think my husband is sick too and I feel so much guilt around making him sick. He keeps trying to assure me it happens but, I can’t help but spiral a bit about it.

i suffer from limerence so badly that i legit want to merge souls and become one with the people i fall into limerence with. i understand that ocd plays a part in this as well but if anyone has experience on how to NOT DO THIS please …it needs to end i fear its creepy and just weird. i just want to like people to the normal extent

I’m not feeling too well today because these intrusive thoughts in my head keep cycling and cycling even though I don’t want to have these thoughts and I want them to go away. My girlfriend is getting so tired of having to hear what girl I thought abt and what situation i’m reflecting on even though I don’t even mean to be thinking those things. I feel so guilty and horrible these things come into my brain. I don’t want to think things about other women, my girlfriend is amazing and is very patient and has been so patient ever since i’ve been having obscure or other thoughts about women wether it be just a thought or even sexually. It’s not on purpose. It just keeps happening and I can’t explain how my brain keeps doing it. I just came across so much research about Pure O Ocd and I think I have that. I’m very new to this but my twin brother also has OCD and Bipolar and I feel as though i’m the same way. I’m so tired of having unwanted thoughts come into my head. I feel so upset and hurt knowing I have to tell my girlfriend exactly what it is that came into my head. I feel like a failure.

Idk if this is the right place to post this. But i feel like such a burden to the people around me because of my anxiety. I woke up this morning super stressed over a dream that reminded me of some messed up moments from my past. My girlfriends kinda listened but i mostly felt ignored. Then we all got in the car to drive my sister to the airport. And on the way, i started to get anxious cus of al the traffic. But it wasnt rlly that, it was the fact that no one seemed to care or wanna help me when i said i was anxious. So i asked if i could just hop out of the car and walk. I felt like such an attention seeker, and my girlfriend got annoyed and took the next exit and dropped me off. But i feel like such a little bitch cus my girlfriend was able to handle everything n i left her to come back alone from the airport. I dont feel like a man or like im capable of anything right now. I wish i could redo it all so that it never happened. I feel like i gave up so easily when tryna handle my anxiety n im ashamed of myself

hey all, this past week has definitely been a struggle for me with rocd. i’m constantly in my head and looping. i have a fear that i don’t actually like my partner and that ive been trying to convince myself that i do and that i am connected to her. this isn’t the first time this has come up, but i feel so disconnected and numb sometimes when we hang out and i know that’s a symptom, but it just feels so real. i feel like this is preventing me from being really present in the relationship and that im just convincing myself that i want to be with her. i feel sad that this halle s for me and guilty for my partner. i don’t know how i can decipher this and how to go from here. i feel like i need to figure it out and deal with it but i don’t know how to! any advice?

I was tryna find photos of my spouse. I knew it was around the month of august but i stopped scrolling at november and saw other family pictures so worrying was it innappropriate. Ocd sucks

Going through a tough time. In December, I lost communication with the girl i’m in love with. I made poor decisions and I’ve been beating myself up over them for a long time. Today I saw she found someone new and my heart is hurting so bad. I don’t have a friend to talk to so i’m posting here. I’m just extremely hurting and I feel this is gonna be so heavy on me and i’m not going to be able to move on. I miss her so much and I just have such a heavy chest

I have had pretty bad ROCD these past two years, and I recently went to a couple friends for advice (which my partner was okay with). A guy friend (WHO CLAIMS TO KNOW OF AND UNDERSTANDS OCD??) immediately began asking me if my fears of my partner cheating came from real concerns or not, and he kept asking. He kept saying that it could be intuition.😭 He then also told me it’s okay for people in relationships to have crushes on other people, which both my partner and I heavily disagree with. Like, finding someone attractive is one thing, but a crush???? 😭😭😭 He then continued to tell me ALL people have crushes while in a relationship, including him and his former gf. My OCD went wild, and while some of his advice helped, these points he made were DEVASTATING. Worst part, he claims to know and understand OCD (part of why I went to him for some tips)!!!!!!! So why the hell did he say these awfully triggering things!? Tbh, part of me wonders if he doesn’t believe I have OCD and so he wasn’t handling his advice with as much caution….

I’m going to rant while trying to be as concise as possible. I stopped taking my lexapro a few months ago because I truly felt like I had the coping mechanisms I needed, and I was tired of the vertigo I’d get if I forgot to take my meds for even a day. I got thru withdrawal symptoms and was doing SO well for over a month. Then I was triggered by an event relating to my past- I had a 10 year friendship end terribly in 2022. My OCD was telling me it all all my fault and that I was projecting all of my insecurities on the friendship- I know objectively that both of us were hurt, and both played a role in the friendship. I let the OCD win and compulsively apologized to my ex best friend, taking ALL of the blame for the friendship. I also said i wanted to reconcile, which is not true. She hurt me so bad, and I’ve never had as much peace as I have without her in my life. I only said that in a moment of not seeing the situation for what is truly was. She, however, was fine with me taking all the blame and said I clearly had “more clarity.” This has sent me into a spiral for the past MONTH where all I can think about is this. I feel like I’ve been sucked right back into the past. I’m also graduating in a month and I’m super busy with work right now. Everything has completely piled up and I’m so fucking exhausted. If anyone has compulsively taken all the blame in a situation where both parties are at fault, I’d love to hear your stories to know I’m not alone in this :( I scheduled a psychiatry appointment to get back on meds (not lexapro- I want to try something else because lexapro made me feel so numb). It just feels like no matter what coping mechanisms I do, nothing helps. I’ve tried just letting the thoughts sit without engaging; they persist. I exercise every single day, but all I can think about is this situation. I have regret for A. Reaching out in the first place, B. Taking all of the blame and C. Disrupting her peace by letting a compulsion drive me to reach out. I know that I hurt her as well and I’m disappointed that I let this reopen wounds for both of us. While it would be ideal for us to end on good terms, it’s not possible, and it was impulsive of me to reach out thinking that would be achievable. In her reply she stated that reconciliation was not possible. Throughout my friendship with her I felt as though my feelings were never validated. If I was upset, it was my fault for “misunderstanding her.” If I didn’t communicate being upset, it was my fault for not communicating. Now, I’m upset with myself that I gave power to her after having finally been free from that friendship and all of the pain that it caused me.

I've tried accepting being BI. But even THATS not good enough for my ocd. Its telling me that I don't actually love my bf, the one I've been with for almost 4 years now... I feel so numb today, I don't want to ever lose him. I want our romantic spark we have, not for him to just be platonic or whatever. Somehow it convinces me that I'd be better off with a woman :(

I’ve been super sick all the last 5 days and my so-ocd is so overwhelming and intense. Anyone else experience way worse obsessions when they’re sick? Googling about so-ocd to make sure my symptoms still match (of course they will I’ve been dealing with this for 6+ months)/going on Reddit to read people’s similar stories are huge compulsions of mine. I know I shouldn’t be doing it but I feel so anxious and overwhelmed when I do nothing. Needed some encouragement & wanted to see if anyone relates to feeling way worse when they’re sick? Hope everyone is having an ok week!

Im going crazy, my brain wants me to be morally perfect. I cant have bad thoughts otherwise im afraid i will send out some bad energy to people I broke up with my boyfriend of 10 years and my ocd is hyperfixating on him, everything I do is connected to him and i’m so afraid Also its solar eclipse and that’s stressing me out because of all the energy Also there are a lot of small things going wrong And im just freaking out, my ocd is going through the roof i cant stop it, im afraid of everything Im punishing myself, i cant say certain words of i cant say thing I want to say, i cant do things i want to do, i want to cry but my tears are not coming

i have a very giving but emotionally draining mom. all of my siblings have struggled with her. when she came up to visit me, she had told me that she feels that my current boyfriend “isn’t the one for me.” meanwhile she knows barely anything about my life, my relationship, etc. she fell in love with my dad and that was the only relationship she’s had. she expects my relationship to be like one in a romance novel, when in reality me and my bf both struggle mentally. regardless of that, we still love each other beyond words and are extremely healthy considering the cards we’ve been dealt. ever since she’s shared her unwarranted opinion, i’ve had obsessive thoughts that she has a “motherly instinct” and that me and my bf aren’t meant to be. i’m so young, and if that were to be true, i always like finding things out on my own. i’m happy and content, and i wish she hadn’t said that, because now that consumes my thoughts. she’s a huge ally which helps with my SO-OCD, but after her saying she doesn’t think me and my bf will last, i wonder if she pictures me with the same sex. i don’t want to be with a girl, but what if that’s her instinct. i now worry that when i have SO-OCD triggers, that those girls are the ones my mom can see me with. it’s disturbing and unwanted.

My first post here. Background: I’m a 29 year old child therapist with autism, anxiety, & OCD. Finally felt brave enough to navigate dating for the 1st time & within 2 weeks developed ROCD. Was getting to know an amazing guy. He’s been nothing but kind, has autism, & is also a Christian like me. I’ve had the most horrible intrusive thoughts about him. In the past week, I’ve had 2 days where I didn’t sleep for over 24 hours. I experienced paranoia & felt so disconnected. Last night, I had a reoccurring intrusive thought that he’s a narcissist or has antisocial personality disorder. I didn’t sleep and cancelled our date and ended things. Such self-sabotage but I literally couldn’t go because I hadn’t slept all night. I’m so sad because I couldn’t last more than 2.5 months. He’s confused and thankfully he’s open to talking but I’m not sure how to let him now about my ROCD. My fear is that he’ll be understanding (and I know he will be which makes me sad) and my OCD will tell me that he’s doing that to manipulate me or do something bad to me. I want to be his friend SO badly but I’m scared. Is being is friend the exposure? Idk what to do??? Any advice or kind words are appreciated ☹️

it consumes me and I am scared to even type this. All I do Is going on reddit and read articles..even when my partner is sleeping next to me. But there are so many signs this isn't Rocd and the relationship is just dying which makes me so sad to think about. This is my longest relationship I've ever had and we still have loving moments but being with him kicks my anxiety into overdrive. 1. I have loss my desire to have sex and now sex makes me extremely anxious..I'm not as turned on as I use to be as well. We use to have an amazing sex life and I craved it all the time until ROCD came...is this normal I would like to blame ROCD as I had a very high sex drive before these awful doubts attacked me 2. I criqitue, overanalyze, and obsess over every little thing he does. Any slight tone of voice or expression has be jumping to the worst conclusions and it makes me so anxious to hangout with him 3. I'm feeling way less loving. Yesterday when he first came over we laid on the coach and looked into each others eyes saying how much we loved each other and it was amazing. But as the day went on the romance began to slip away. 4. I feel annoyed by him way more often...I do become irritable towards anyone when I spend a lot of time in my head though These just all sound like signs of a dying relationship but I love him (typing this made me feel unsure) and we've always worked so well together. I miss being able to spend time with him without feeling like every little thing was a test and critiquing him in my head. I want to be able to love him for him again with all of his flaws included. Everytime I bring up an issue he is so understanding and makes an effort and I know he is a good healthy partner. I just want this to end.

Does ocd put these types of thoughts in your head about anyone that’s even remotely attractive… stuff like “they look good or would look good naked” and puts images there of them people like I don’t want to think this stuff it makes me feel actually disgusting. Especially when it’s saying it about people from my past I don’t want to think this stuff at all. I hate this illness. How am I meant to ignore these thoughts I feel horrible I love my boyfriend so much

I’ve been struggling for a few weeks in my relationship. I often get stuck in a loop of frustration when my boyfriend isn’t understanding why I’m irritated, but I’m too scared to tell him out of the fear he’ll break up with me, then I get mad at myself for not expressing what’s wrong. It’s become so hard that I sit in silence and cry. He isn’t doing anything different, I just keep obsessing. Any form of advice is more than appreciated.