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I started lexapro a week ago and I feel that it’s making my anxiety worse. Does anyone have experience taking lexapro? Did you notice the same? Thanks!

So recently things have started to take a turn for me. In January I started having awful harm intrusive thoughts. It was awful and I couldn’t get out of the house for weeks. I was scared to be around anyone and even my boyfriend thinking I would lose control. Recently I have got ahold of these thoughts. I still get them but I am able to shake them off much easier. This happened when I noticed I may have some form of OCD (I have not been clinically diagnosed). As these intrusive thoughts have been easier to manage all of the sudden I have a near fear that circles my head often… the fear of a psychosis or schizophrenia… I am constantly on edge recently. It is almost like the moment I noticed my intrusive thoughts were just thoughts… my brain found something else to worry about. I have not hallucinated or heard things that were not there. But I am TERRIFIED that I will. For example… I’ll look down a hallway and be convinced if I look hard enough for long enough I will hallucinate. Or I will have an image in my head of an object while I’m driving that is in my house and I’m scared that I will hallucinate the object moving when I get home. I’ve become very afraid I will lose touch with reality. I have told myself they are just thoughts. Which I know they are. But this has become very distressing for me. Also, I am a performer and I’ve had the fear that I will get on stage and I will see a hallucination in the audience. Which I know won’t happen. I just can’t stop circling in my head about this. If anyone has any suggestions on things that have helped them or have the same story feel free to chime in. I’m really sad, I’m tired and I’m sick of living in constant fear that I have a psychosis and I’m tired of living with intrusive thoughts (I know I’m not the only one). This is very new to me and I would love help and encouraging words. Thanks so much everyone.

Hi guys - writing because I want to know if anyone else has experienced this. Hopefully so! I have seen people in here articulate the situation with OCD, commonly with Harm, where they feel “evil”, their intrusive thoughts are “I want to do X evil thing”, there is little/no anxiety present. I have experienced that on and off for the past few months, and it’s truly terrifying. I reguarly experience bouts of dissociation where things either feel ultra real/I”m hyper aware that I’m experiencing life through a set of eyes, in a body, look at my hands, they don’t feel like mine. Etc etc. Standard dissociation stuff. I have just about got to grips with it after a very bad episode, triggered by the latest season of “You”. In true OCD style, this harm-evil OCD has manifested into a fear of developing DID/splitting personalities when I experience dissociation and that feeling of “being evil”. So while all that is going on, I’ll look in the mirror and the intrusive thoughts go “I’m not Lucy (my name” and other ridiculous statements in order to participate in the act of being someone with DID. I can see the tricks being played by OCD this time: I have experienced virtually all subtypes, and particularly with schizophrenia OCD and harm, the intrusive thoughts would present as statements that correlated with the theme at hand. Eg schizophrenia “people out to get me” *seeing faces in patterns* (all other things a “schizophrenic” would think; harm “I want to kill this person/I’m going to stab them now”. Blah blah blah. I can see the OCD for what it is and how sophisticated it can be. I am just partially reassurance-seeking, but mostly curious. Has anybody experienced this in a similar way to me? It feels very niche, but I thought that of a lot of my subtypes until I used this app, and felt way less alone! Any tips on how to deal would be great. Thanks in advance!

I hate to keep posting on here as it’s a compulsion but I want to know I’m not crazy, basically through the past 3 weeks I have been stressing over multiple mental issues like.. the world not existing, schizophrenia, harm ocd and then I saw someone mention trans ocd which I did not know was a thing and then I was like am I a boy? And now I’m worrying about dissociative identity disorder, it feels so realistic and I am scared I’m also struggling with depersonalisation at the moment and apparently a lot of people worry about DID with it. It’s basically been a theme of different things to worry about but before this state I would think of these things and I’d be scared but I wouldn’t convince myself of these things? I just wanna know if someone has gone through a similar experience and gotten through it and what to do here.

Hello there. So I have harm OCD thoughts about hurting people in general, but they started out as targeted toward my mom, whom I love with all my heart and have a great relationship with. I was starting to feel better after months of struggling, the anxiety associated with the thoughts has lessened. However, the fact the anxiety isn’t as present is freaking me out. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that my meds and ERP are working or if I am becoming okay with the notion of killing people. I keep freaking out because the thoughts about my mom have returned and are really detailed scenarios in which I kill my mom. I don’t want to hurt my anyone, let alone my mom. But every time I tell myself I know i don’t want to do these things, it’s always followed up with, “What if I do want to?” Sometimes my thoughts will even say I want to. But I don’t, but these thoughts come in anyway and I question if I want to no matter how many times I say, “I don’t want to hurt anyone ever.” “What if I’m in denial?” “What if I’m planning?” “Why isn’t there more anxiety like before?” “Am I purposely having these thoughts or are these automatic?” I’m getting really bad suicidal ideations from this because I’m so scared that it is not ocd and I need to take myself out of the equation before I hurt someone. I can’t not say to myself, “I don’t want to hurt anyone ever” because I feel like if I don’t , I’ll suddenly become murderous. I’ve never hurt anyone, I consider myself to be a kind and gentle person, but these thoughts are making me question every aspect of myself. I appreciate any insight anyone may have. I understand this may be triggering to read.

i feel like no matter how hard i try to explain how i am feeling about my current thoughts, im just overthinking everything. if i start to feel bad i get intrusive thoughts that im lying to myself or doing it for attention. its so hard to ask for help when im the inly one having a strong reaction. im not sure if that makes sense but i don’t know what else to do.

whenever there’s somebody in pain, i physically cringe. i scrunch up my face and shut my eyes really tight so i don’t see it, but i’m still scared. today, my mom somehow injured herself, and i’m in the room with her reading my book. before i sat down, she winces from the pain and i feel like i was about to laugh. i told myself i wasn’t, but now i’m really scared. i’m terrified of my mom dying. but i’m even more terrified of what my reaction will be. what if i don’t care? what if i laugh at her when she’s on her death bed. i feel terrible. she’s in pain and i’m so terrified i’m laughing at her and enjoying her suffering. so much so i have to look away from her when she moves. i hate seeing her face when she’s like this.

I've struggled with ROCD for the best part of 10 years, but I didn't know what it even was until maybe 3 years ago. I've yet to have the opportunity to work with an ERP specialist, but I go to talk therapy already and I've done lots of research into the topic. What upsets me is that despite all the work I'm doing and all the knowledge I have now, ROCD can still floor me completely. My boyfriend and I don't live together, and for the last week he was pretty unavailable to talk because he was preparing for (and going on) a sailing trip. The whole time I felt like I was missing a limb and I felt really pathetic about how much it was affecting me to not be able to talk to him. I'm pretty sure I have separation anxiety from my childhood so it would make sense, but it still makes me feel really pathetic and dependent towards him when I get this way. Anyway yesterday we were going to spend the day together finally and we were both really looking forward to it because we'd missed each other so much. But as soon as I got to his place I felt my brain overanalysing everything. He was being really affectionate and something just felt off or I was feeling bad for not feeling quite as affectionate as him. The whole day I just didn't feel like I could settle and it make me feel guilty and kind of ridiculous to not just be enjoying our time after looking forward to it for so long. He fell asleep before me and I was just battling so much anxiety in my head and I really didn't sleep well because of it. This morning he was in a really good mood talking about what a nice day it was yesterday and while I know there were many nice moments I just can't shake the guilt of the mental battle I was going through the whole time I was there. It really added fuel to the ROCD intrusive doubt of "should you really be feeling so miserable around the person you supposedly love the most?" Just so tired of fighting this fight.

Please, please, please help me name this if you can. Also, no trigger warning because it is not very graphic, however, I do detail compulsions in this post. This is an obsession and source of compulsions I have struggled with all of my life, and undoubtedly the strongest one. A brief explanation: I experience obsessions, compulsions, paranoid feelings and severe anxiety over the idea of some unknown being, in my home, being a threat to myself. Triggers: Doors, corners, the dark, being alone, depictions of eyes, noises. Intrusive thoughts: Scary figure, threats of violent physical harm to myself (not caused by myself), helplessness. specifically, it occurs with the concept of the space behind things I can’t see through; things like corners, shower curtains, and doors. I always feel as though I am being watched in my own home, even though I don’t believe I am; I always feel as though I am about to be attacked, and sometimes I fixate on different ways I might be attacked. Basically, I never feel safe because this is always in my mind and manifests in different ways. For example: If I have to open a door, at any time, in my own home, I will suddenly have the powerful intrusive thought of some ambiguous threatening figure, which feels like a character from a horror movie. I imagine it waiting for me on the other side and then I have to build up my own courage to open doors, go through thought processes, look around corners, check if I’ve locked the front and back door, and shower with the curtain open (and door locked), and sometimes I can’t even bring myself to overcome it. I am terrified of home intrusion, is that part of it? It also occurs alongside my symmetry obsession. I have to put blankets over any empty spaces like the space under the door and completely close my window curtains (even then, I don’t feel safe.) Also, if I have decorations in my home with eyes, I have to cover them all with sticky notes. I never feel safe in my own home. I never experience this in public. Fixating on being attacked in my own home by something always occurs alongside the compulsions. Ex: I might be alone and get the intrusive thought of someone stabbing me, and then, I can’t get it out of my mind. My anxiety immediately spikes, and if I hear any small noises at all, it could send me into a panic attack. Sometimes a noise is what triggers it too; if i hear any noise in my own home that I didn’t cause, I immediately feel like I am about to die. I always have to have my back to a wall in my home in some way, and even then, I just FEEL like something scary is in the space around me. It is pretty debilitating and I usually call my boyfriend so that I don’t feel alone at home, but I can’t always depend on him. Does any of this sound familiar at all? It would be a huge help to me if anyone could relate to this or even just help me categorize it.

Hi. my name is Ally, im 18 and im in my last year of high school. i've always been in and out of therapy, but I've never been able to get to the route of the problems i have. I constantly fear talking about things like this, but here i go. -horrible thoughts of things such as rape, pedophilia, beastiality and incest popping into my head randomly (NOT URGES !!!!) and coming up in my dreams. -expecting the worst outcomes -believing that my actions control what will happen next in my life (if i dont do this specific thing, i will die or someone in my family will die) -intrusive thoughts and dreams that feel so real i believe it actually happened. i dont mean to intrude, this is a very safe space for people who suffer with OCD. i just feel i have no where else to turn. does this sound like ocd? something else? please if you can, i cant live thinking and feeling this way anymore, please help me.

I can’t remember what triggered this theme this time, but it’s been almost a week and I’m in hell. I just cannot accept the person I was as a teenager and the things I’ve done. It feels like I don’t even know who that person is anymore but I know that it’s myself and it’s so hard to accept I’ve done such heinous things. I want to kill myself but I don’t want to die… I want to go back in time and change these things but the very fact that I can’t leaves me with no other choice except suicide. I simply cannot understand how people move past their mistakes. I feel so unstable rn I can’t stop crying, I can’t eat, sleep… haven’t left my bed except for work. I’m struggling so bad rn but my OCD tells me I deserve it. Maybe I do, I don’t know anymore my whole life is tainted and so are those for whom I’ve hurt.

Okay, my strategies of trying to get rid of the same sex thoughts have gotten so worst. It’s annoying and it Inter vines with my life 24/7. I used to be a bisexual and ever since I’ve been with my bf , I haven’t had feelings for girls. It’s been almost five years and I recently started the thoughts of doing inappropriate things with girls, I know I wouldn’t do this stuff bc that’s not who I am. Is there any stronger ways to get rid of this hocd?? I’ve tried acknowledging my thoughts and not ignoring them but they do not work. Now I can’t even LOOk at woman the same without having a bad thought and gronial response and I just really need help. If there any stronger strategies to help me get rid of this, please let me know.

I woke up today feeling a bit more positive the last few days have been really rough, been crying, having outbursts of shouting and today I just feel exhausted and don’t want to think about it but at the same time I was ruminating on it so much and worrying a lot and it feels really difficult to just suddenly forget about it, I’ve been worrying because it feels like when I imagine the thought it feels like ‘I like the feeling’ of imagining doing that, the thoughts are about smothering. It’s been feeling like the end of the world and I’ve been worrying because it feels like I actually want to act on the thoughts and it’s horrible, feel like I don’t trust myself. Today I feel exhausted and just want to feel normal again but feel like I can’t just go back to forgetting about it and feeling normal since the last few days have felt so rough and real like it couldn’t have all been for nothing, all that worrying? Surely it must mean something? And it feels like I could easily just start worrying again, I’ve got a bit of anxiety and feel uneasy already, but I don’t want another day of misery. But it feels like these thoughts definitely mean something and it feels like if I choose not to think about it because I’m still kind of believing it that I’m just trying to pretend I’m not evil by forgetting about it or postponing being evil 😞😞

would really appreciate if you help me out. I'm a teenager whose parents won't send me to therapy and can't afford one right now. It's been 2 months since I've first had the thought- am I in love? It was out of nowhere and ever since then for the past two months I've had these thoughts every single day. There have been many. To the point I once even decided to break up. But the anxiety the thoughts brought were a kind of reassurance that it's not me it's my rOCD. but lately, these thoughts don't affect me. They just come and I am not scared or annoyed or irritated. Makes me feel like what I'm feeling is true. It's scary. I've finally gotten over the urge of break up but now I feel like my boyfriend doesn't matter to me anymore. That I don't love him or even care a bit. Like nothing he does is gonna affect me. He makes no difference and I know these thoughts are not true but then I don't feel anything that'll prove it otherwise. I dont feel good or bad or anything about him which is weird for me because i even feel stuff about the people who have hurt me bad whereas this man is the love of my life. It does not hurt but i know im hurt Deeply.. We are on a break right now and I'm in a long distance relationship which makes it harder but days are now going by naturally and I'm not feeling depressed like before. I desperately want to get out of this and go back to being the loving and caring girlfriend i once was. Its feeling like somehow im blocking out my emotions and whenever i try and think about him in a loving way, i feel restless, uneasy. Can you please just give me some advice on my situation or what to do. I really need one right now. I know I love him. It just is so confusing. It will really mean a lot.

Can harm ocd convince you that you actually like the thoughts or that you would actually want to act on it and that it would feel good to do that horrible thing? I feel like as time is going on I’m believing it more and more that I’m bad and it’s to the point where it feels like I want to act on the thoughts or I would like the feeling of acting on the thoughts but at the same time I’m crying all the time and miserable about this and I wouldn’t want to do that but I’m believing it so much and it feels too real and I feel worried because it feels like I want to act on it or would like the feeling of acting on it, is that an ‘urge’ at the start I use to get ‘urges’ but then it felt like it hasn’t happened for a long time but now I’m think is the reason it feels like I want to act on it or would like the feeling because I’m getting fake ‘urges’ and I’m confusing it for me ‘wanting to do that’ or that I would ‘like the feeling’ ? Like I wish I had a button to get rid of this problem because I would never want to be bad and wish I could have my old life back but at the same time I now it feels like I want to act on it and I’m worried I don’t want to be bad but I feel like I’m lying as well and secretly want to please advise me 😞 I’ve been in a state all day of worry, I was fine for a few weeks was feeling so much better and then I came on my period and suddenly it’s a huge turmoil of emotions and feels like a big problem and that I’m actually evil and would want to do that and I feel awful and miserable

At first it started as harm ocd but now I’m worrying about all the other types now like for some reason I’m worrying about transgender ocd and then I was worried I had that multiple personalities I don’t understand why I am even worried about this because this isn’t me, for one I love being a girl so im definitely not wanting to be a male but this stressed state makes me worry/question everything It just keeps getting worse and im scared a psychologist cannot help me I just want to be myself again, im suffering with depersonalisation along with this so it makes it much scarier. And my intrusive thoughts will see something and convince myself that’s me and I want to do those things or I have that and I cannot escape these thoughts im so over it im absolutely tired. Has anyone experienced it to this extent and actually gotten better? Because honestly I don’t think I’ll recover from this.

Hello, I want to share my story. My name is Julia. I found out about OCD only 6-7 years ago. In fact, I haven't confirmed the diagnosis of OCD. But everything goes to this. I'm just afraid, I'm not ready to hear a real diagnosis. I understand that you can't prepare for this. It's like any physical illness. I visited 3 different psychotherapists. Simply because I like to avoid anything that gets complicated. Only with the last of them, I was the most open. About six months ago, I interrupted our sessions. It seemed to me that at that moment it became a little easier for me. Now I'm getting worse again. Where do you get your strength? My primary symptoms: 1. Dermatillomania (skin picking), maybe it comes as a separate mental disorder, but my specialist said that most likely these are related things. 2. I constantly do cleaning, literally every day I come home from work and start dusting, disinfecting all the things that are in my bag, all the door handles. This process can take from 1 to 3 hours a day. I used to think that I like to clean, that it relaxes me. When in fact, I hate doing it, but I can’t just stop myself. The slightest mote on the floor irritates me. It's very difficult to force yourself to accept the fact that the principle "order in the room - order in the head" doesn't matter at all. I'm tired of this, sometimes I manage to agree with myself and convince myself that if I forget to dust, I won't die from it. But this rarely happens. I have doubts about my sexual orientation, whether I have OCD at all, whether I'm real or am I in some kind of dream. Sometimes it seems to me that the objects around me simply don't exist. My riatul before going to bed - I need to check several times whether the door, windows are closed, the iron is turned off from the outlet. Are all things in the right places and in the "correct" position. Sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed. There are too many thoughts in my head, obsessive thoughts. I can't deal with all of them. I’m constantly trying to control things... even things I can't control. For example, when there is a heavy downpour and a thunderstorm begins. I close all windows, recheck the situation every 5 seconds. I want to influence the weather, but how? It's just not possible. Also, I try to unconsciously control other people and their thoughts. It annoys me. In the future I want to have children. Every day I think about what if they have OCD, how I can help them. What if I hurt them. I'm already making scenarios with bad endings. Every day I think that I'm a bad person, that I'm only making things worse for everyone. Or something like "maybe I'm capable of murder", "maybe I'm evil." I google the symptoms all the time and think I might die. I’m tired of people telling me I’m "too sensitive". I try to be kind to myself, but sometimes I fail. I'm so tired of my thoughts. I rarely cry. One bad experience in the past still has consequences. I don't know how to cry, especially in front of people. I have too much control over my feelings and emotions. When I feel bad, I just distance myself from everyone, I don’t want to communicate with anyone. Also lately I can't make a single decision. I feel constant guilt for no particular reason. I have trouble concentrating and haven't been doing my job well in recent weeks. How do you manage to control yourself? Are there any techniques/methods that help you? I do various workouts (yoga, stretching, etc.) at home. But sometimes even it doesn't help me relax and not think too much. I have good friends who will always support and help. But it's difficult for me to discuss my condition with them, simply because they'll not understand. I would like to talk to those who understand perfectly how I feel. I apologize that my post was too chaotic. There is a complete chaos of thoughts in my head. Also, sorry if my post has mistakes. English isn't my native language.

I keep having bad outbursts of shouting/screaming crying and people around me keep saying I’m mad and my mum says that I need a carer or that I should get a carer and that’s making me feel like there’s actually something really wrong with me and that I’m not normal and it’s like I hate being at home like I feel like all my problems are there and when I’m out the house i feel a lot better and like a weight is lifted off my shoulders and I feel happier, the only thing that helps distract me from my harm ocd is going shopping or going to visit people like my aunty or my grandparents, socialising really helps me feel normal and when my ocd gets really bad I absolutely don’t want to be at home and the only way it gets better is if I do things I enjoy like shopping or visiting family and then I can calm down and start feeling like the ocd isn’t such a huge problem, but I’m not independent at all I’ve never been anywhere by myself and I’m too scared too, I was overprotected a lot and rely on my mum for everything so if she decides she doesn’t want to go out anywhere I start feeling really bad and we start arguing and I start crying and screaming and it feels like my body is being affected as well, like my hands get really hot when I get angry or one of my arms starts feeling pressure or like it gets hot and feels weird but it only happens in one arm when I’m like shouting and crying, or I feel a lot of strain in my head and one time my hand started swelling up when I was angry, she thinks I’m having tantrums because I want to spend all the time enjoying myself when In reality I’m just trying to do something to help myself forget about the ocd and I feel so unheard I keep telling her and explaining how I feel and she thinks I’m just having tantrums and tells me I’m being controlling and I’m selfish, but I’m suffering so much with this problem no one even knows and she thinks I’m just having tantrums because I want to go shopping and I just don’t know anymore I feel so trapped I don’t know where to turn

So I’ve been having this worry about ‘liking the feeling’ of imagining doing that intrusive thought for a long time (the thoughts are about smothering) and I’ve been going through this for so long now I will have times where I focus on other things and stop caring for a few weeks and then it comes back and I’m worrying all over again, I keep crying and feeling angry that I’m going through this and agitated and having outbursts because of this. It’s gotten to the point where it feels like it’s true, like I’m actually believing that it and it’s scary. It feels like I know how it feels to ‘smother’ someone/a cat and now I like how it feels to do that action (squashing them and stopping them from breathing) sorry that sounds horrible i know, and that I liked the feeling of doing that and now I’m worrying that since it feels like I ‘like the feeling’ I’m worried that I’m the future I will want to do that or it feels almost like it’s inevitable and it’s really scary and I’m worried that I will definitely want to ‘feel that feeling’ of doing that since I ‘like the feeling’ but it’s like at the same time that it feels like ‘I like the feeling’ I also get shudders and anxiety and electric shock feeling when I imagine the thoughts but sometimes when I imagine the thought it feels like I like the feeling and it’s really confusing and scary. Also when I stopped ruminating on it for a few weeks when I finally did have a thought it felt like I was more anxious over it and hated it but the more I think about it the less anxious I become and the more it feels like ‘I like the feeling’ it doesn’t 100% feel like that but it feels like I’m believing that I will actually be bad in the future because my brain thinks Of scenarios in the future where I’m evil and it feels like I actually would be or that I would ‘give in’ and like the feeling and it’s scary. I mean it’s not possible to like the feeling of doing something evil (like that smothering thing) and have a conscience is it? (Please tell me it isn’t possible) I’ve been thinking what if after ruminating a lot now I’ve discovered that I like the feeling of smothering but I have a conscience but I’m the future I will end up doing it anyway because I ‘like the feeling’ 😞 the only other thing I can think of is it seems as if I’ve stopped experiencing ‘urges’ at the start of having this problem I knew that I hated the thoughts and I use to get unwanted intrusive thoughts constantly and it use to feel like an ‘urge’ to suddenly lash out and act on the thoughts, at that time the thoughts were about strangling, so I use to worry that I would like the feeling of doing that or like the feeling of putting my hands around someone’s neck and I was scared to go anywhere near or touch someone’s neck but because I never deliberately imagined that to ‘test’ myself it never felt like ‘I liked the feeling’ of imagining doing that because I never ruminated on it but with these smothering thoughts because I kept getting intrusive thoughts about doing that I started testing myself by imagining doing that to see how I would react and instead it felt like I liked the feeling of imagining doing that? But now I’m thinking maybe I haven’t stopped feeling the ‘urges’ maybe this thing where when I imagine the thought it feels like I ‘want to’ or ‘like the feeling’ is the ‘urges’ but I’ve stopped thinking that it feels like an ‘urge’ and instead I’m thinking it’s me actually wanting to do that? Another scary thing is I keep thinking even if I forget about all this I get this horrible feeling/thought that I will still end up acting on it anyways despite not liking the thoughts because it feels like I like the feeling and that’s literally ingrained in my mind now I’m worried no matter how much I try to forget about it it will still become a reality and at some point in the future I will end up doing that, cause it feels like how can I be going through this for over a year now and I’m not actually evil? How can I be constantly ruminating on this and believing it for it all to be a lie? It feels almost like it’s inevitable now and it will actually happen, even in the future that I will ‘give in’ and it’s horrible. I feel so confused and exhausted, I felt so much better and more free when I wasn’t dwelling on it a few weeks ago but now it feels like a huge problem that I’m entangled in and like I’m trapped, especially since it’s a ‘feeling’ involved it feels even more real, because it actually feels like I like the feeling, I can’t explain it but it’s not like I’m worried ‘I like the thoughts or idea of doing that’ it feels like I know how it feels to squash someone with the pillow and stop the from breathing and that I like the feeling of doing that (I know that sounds so horrible I don’t even like writing that out) but I just feel so confused and then I’m having Thai horrible thing where it feels like I’m about to smile or secretly happy/smiling inside when I’m talking about my problem. I woke up this morning and I feel so exhausted, I’m on my period as well I think That’s why I started worrying again as well, and I was on a diet before I started going through this and it was going well giving myself something to focus on and now I’ve been binge eating a lot like comfort eating because this problem is stressing me out a lot, also yesterday when I was crying about this problem I hit myself , not hard (it’s not serious) but it’s like I get so frustrated I took it out on myself, or I will like hit the wall with my hand, honestly I don’t know what to do, I wish I could be saved from this

Whenever I have urges like being attracted to someone else or breaking up or trying to emotionally connect to my boyfriend, my brain has started this new trick wherein it's constantly like this relationship isn't even real anyways and this person isn't who you think he is. I am in a long distance relationship and this has got me going crazy. It's not helping that my partner and I are on a break and I've been feeling numb and like I don't care about him anymore. I wanna fight and not loose him but this illusion sounds so real that I am scared I'd end up losing my battle with ROCD. Can anyone help?