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Is ocd always false? How do I deal with my coming thoughts "What if its real" then it would gave me an anxiety

Long story short, I have been dealing with OCD for the past two years due to trauma I developed from texting a guy I was not supposed to during my relationship with my partner of 2 years. Ever since, I have developed obsessions and fear towards men in general. 2 months ago today, I experienced something that has been one of the worst obsessions I have encountered. I went to the gym to cancel my membership. At the counter, I encountered a guy whom seemed very friendly and outgoing. By the start, I felt weirded out because I’m like okay this guy is friendly. I was being nice and chill without being so hard on myself. In the midst of me smiling to something the guy was saying, I get a thought of ‘ be friendly behind your boyfriends back’. I was terrified and that whole situation just felt wrong. Willingly, I told my partner and he tells me to move on and it’s okay. As an OCD person, I have tendencies of telling my boyfriend worst case scenario or being extra about stuff ( making things worse than what they are). Long story short, I have gotten over that situation. Now what I haven’t gotten over was from what I said. The day that this happened, I was telling my partner about this situation and looking back at our messages, I seen that I said the thought was about ‘ to flirt behind my boyfriends back’. Obviously that is unacceptable, especially if I said what if I smiled alittle more because of that. I remember a couple of weeks ago, I would scroll right pass this message and think to myself confidently ( I was overstretching that thought, it was about being friendly). Not until 2 weeks ago, I seen this doctor on a YouTube video who said you tend to remember a memory almost perfectly the very first time you recall it. So I’m like, I said that about the thought being flirtatious the day of and so am I going crazy. So yeah, ever since I seen that stupid video I have been overly examining trying to remember how the thought felt. Although I said that, I have some memory of overstretching and I also know that I recall the thought about being friendly not to flirt. Any help with learning how to trust yourself with memories? Do you guys think that it’s just silly ocd always putting doubt on everything? Please help!!!

Lately i have been struggling with the idea of my S/O carrying on a relationship somewhere else. I have been throw a ton of failed and hopeless relationships and i always know the signs when people wish to move on or move into a different direction. Lately i have been struggling to remove my trauma away from his natural responses. EXAMPLE: Him saying that he is working a double. In his brain it’s just him working a double but in my brain a MILLION different equations are running. I have been discussing these feelings with him in the best possible way a human can but it just seems to not be clicking. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. Whenever i feel something out of array and i ask him if this is how he feels and he gets frustrated with me for even mentioning or constantly bringing it up. I know that it hurts to constantly be accused and be constantly asked the same question but i don’t know what else to do. He keeps saying that he wants me to open up but when i do it just seems to make him frustrated. Last night he even said that he thinks i need to speak with someone or we have to work on this because its becoming to much on his mental health. How do i handle this? Im trying to remove these thoughts and feelings and i am trying to bring the most positivity that i can but I’m finally starting to put a uanessacry weight that is causing him to struggle as well. I never wanted to do this with him. I have never had planned too. But here i am self sabotaging and traumatizing the world with my issues. I have a therapy session (first one ever) at 7 today. He doesn’t know about it……….

So I had a good day yesterday but last night and today I've been ruminating over what I could have done better and what I messed up and it's basically ruining my memory of the day by making the less good stuff bigger in my mind than the good stuff. I'll have to bring this up with my therapist but in the meantime, does anyone have any thoughts on how to better focus on the good aspects?

i think my mind is accepting the thoughts in my head. I don’t wanna be gay i wanna feel like my old self again. I keep getting groinal responses to men and i cant find women attractive anymore. But all my life i have loved women and all i have ever wanted was a girlfriend. i need help

Does anyone else think of their ocd as like, a separate entity? I do, and I think it’s helped me a lot. I feel like it kind of is a parasite sometimes, especially with intrusive thoughts. What do you guys think?

the past week has been one of the hardest weeks of my life i tried to kms a couple times and i just cut myself really bad but what caused this all is my mind saying ive done something wrong even though i haven’t. I’ve asked many people they said i haven’t done anything wrong i even asked my parents and i know the answer but my body can’t seem to accept it. There’s genuinely something so wrong with me and i’m so tired of living.

Would quitting my porn addiction help with hocd? I believe it's becoming a reassurance compulsion, as I go on to prove to myself I am straight by watching straight porn. But then I find myself noticing the dude and checking to see if I find him attractive. Which continues the cycle of continuing to try to prove I am not attracted. I've been struggling with hocd for about a year and a half, it's been Hell every second of it. I never had questioned my sexuality before this, not once and I had been obsessed with girls every since I started to notice them. I so badly want to find a nice lady and have a big family and the thought of being gay scares me so much. I just can't beat this thing. Maybe quitting porn is the answer? I am so drained from this fucking thing, I miss me before hocd, I'd give anything to go back to before this.

I’m looking for an exposure to do when I see my partner and don’t feel physically attracted to him. I used to use photos when I was picking up on particular features on his face. They were very useful, but now they are no longer as distressing for me. I am now getting more distressed as a whole seeing his face rather than particular features. Any suggestions?

I always feel like my fears are coming true. I’m so scared of reality

Why does it feel like I want to harm someone? Why does it feel so real? What if I want this???? I’m not even focused on the actual thoughts like the images I can’t even real imagine anything it’s just the feeling that comes with it or like “the what if you WANT to?”

I put a trigger warning on this for people who have scrupulosity just in case. I have religious OCD and it is really hard to go through. It goes “f you Jesus” “sorry God I didn’t mean that I love you” “f the devil I love Jesus” “I hate the devil I love Jesus” “I love the devil” “no that’s not true I’m sorry God I didn’t mean that” “f you Satan” in my head all day. And then I’ll be listening to the radio and listening to KLove (which is a Christian radio station) and I’ll have what I call contradictory thoughts which is when one or many of my thoughts contradicts the truth of God. Because it will be that Jordan Feliz song and he’ll say “the king is alive” and my brain will say “no he isn’t” and it will send me into an annoyed spiral. “Yes He is I’m sorry Jesus I know you’re alive”. If anyone else goes through something similar to this please let me know so I can feel less alone.

I think I have relationship OCD. I will be doing great with my boyfriend then out of no where I get this intrusive thought that he thinks other people are attractive and has a wandering eye for others and I need reassurance immediately. And when he gives me reassurance, I think he’s lying. After like an hour of back and forth repetitive conversation I feel better, then the next day it happens again. Every. Single. Day. I freak out and blow up and need reassurance. I can’t tell if I’m getting these thoughts because they are true or because I’ve been with someone in the past who has cheated on me so I believe that all people get these thoughts. I’m so ready for a cure. Does anyone know what to do? I don’t want to live with this

So I dropped my phone in the toilet yesterday, and everything seems to pretty much work properly, but I can’t help but keep thinking what if it’s not working properly, what if something is working slower, what if the audio doesn’t work right etc. And like what if it’s not clean after being in the toilet even though I washed it to death. Someone please help and tell me if this is just my OCD, these thoughts will not stop and I’m stressed out.

I am 21 and just received an OCD diagnosis. I go through phases of intense obsessions and compulsions, usually involving panic attacks. My last severe obsession was health related, and my current obsession centres on my relationship — an intense fear that I secretly do not love my partner and an overwhelming urge to escape the relationship. I remember when I was a child, my obsession was a fear of violence: every stranger felt to me like a threat, and so I compulsively avoided danger in various ways (walking in zig zag line, crossing the street multiple times on my way home.) Receiving a diagnosis, while scary, has been a true relief. Finally, I understand myself a bit better. I understand why I can’t let go of thoughts that I logically know are ridiculous. I understand why my panic is not a 30 minute episode, but prolonged, lasting days. I understand what the work ahead of me is. Though flare-ups are some of the most painful experiences I have been through (psychologically exhausting, and physically sickening), I am feeling hopeful. While I continue to work on ERP and mindfulness, I am aware of how much more control I am gaining over my attention. I am realizing that this is an illness treated by learning to listen to others, regulate my mind, and choose peace. Once I have the space to apply those skills beyond my immediate obsessions, I feel I will be an all around better person for it. I don’t mean at all to say that this illness is a blessing — I do not consider it advantageous by any stretch. That being said, the only joy I ever find during these difficult episodes are when I feel hopeful. If anybody has any victories, big or small, that they would like to share, I would love to hear them. Hope is a powerful tool. Community is a powerful tool. I hope everyone else learning to manage this illness can use them to our advantage.

I think I have ROCD (Background information then question at the bottom) I have moments where I have an urge and strong feeling that I want to break up with my gf Then I have moments where I am questioning myself if I love my gf When I’m in these moments I get very anxious and get an anxious spike I do worry that these are my true feelings and I refused to accept them and I am surprising them and I don’t have OCD at all but I feel like this isn’t true because I don’t want these feelings and I know I care deeply for my gf. It’s been 3 years and I’ve never had any of these thoughts until an event happened that almost ended us and I was scared to lose her I’m struggling to identify my compulsions to get on the path of healing any help for this would be great I never give into breaking up with her And Ive been working on not questioning myself and questing weather I love her and just not responding to those feelings Would those be compulsions? I don’t have a thing inside me that says I need to go do something to relieve this It’s just like I get stuck feeling like that for a while. I will say I do reassure myself and say “ no you love her don’t be silly and don’t let ocd control you” And then from there my brain says “ Are you sure you love her”. Maybe that is a compulsion and I should avoid arguing with those thoughts and just not respond?

Hi everyone, I am writing this post and exposing my vulnerability with an issue I have had for about 14 years. I am 24 years old now and I was exposed to pornography around age 8-10, I can’t exactly remember. I was shown pornography by my step brother who sexually abused me from age 6-12. Now as an adult male who is in a committed relationship, I struggle with a pornography addiction. Whether it be on websites, Snapchat, twitter, Reddit, Instagram, I struggle with consuming pornography and adult material. I also have severe OCD that has been clinically diagnosed. Does anyone have any experience with pornography addiction they would be willing to discuss? Does anyone have any sexting addiction? I have noticed how this shame and guilt I feel has come into my fiancé and I’s relationship. She is aware and we have communicated on how we are going to work through it. Are there any apps to help with sex/porn addiction? Any help would be greatly appreciated. We have an amazing community here and we shouldn’t be ashamed to seek help.

Where shall I go therapist or police, I’m convinced I raped somebody but nothings came of it

I’m too tired to write but, I’m stressing over the fact I will be alone forever and my ocd with ruin everything. My mind is a wreck! I want to be happy and have a good future but idk if that’s possible. I want a husband and kids but I’m so confused!!!!!!! I don’t know what to do! I’m having the worst anxiety. Plus since Valentine’s Day is coming up I’m getting more and more upset. Because I want a boyfriend but I just can’t imagine myself in a relationship!

Does anybody else feel like there are a lot of resources to deal with our OCD during a relationship, but not after a break up?