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I have been blocked again by people who I considered to be very helpful in my OCD journey on here... this is why i don't like talking about my real events ocd... its because people will shame me and block me... and think I'm a PDF...

can you have ocd about how you look? i’ve never been diagnosed with body dysmorphia so i don’t wanna say that’s what it is but everything i read about it i heavily relate to. i dunno if the two overlap but i’ve always been overly obsessed and critical with my appearance. constantly checking in the mirror (or completely avoiding mirrors) and rethinking even the smallest of things like how i do my hair, something i’m wearing, my body, etc. looking at old pictures of myself or comparing myself or others online when i feel bad. i have thoughts about how ugly i must be and if anyone says otherwise i’m convinced they’re joking or lying. like i sometimes genuinely feel so ugly that i shouldn’t be seen and that it would be an embarrassment for anyone to talk to me or be seen with me. it’s especially bad when i think of being in a relationship, like i should just stay away from other people, even just trying to talk to people. i’ve never talked to a therapist about this because it feels embarrassing but i genuinely don’t know if this is ocd related or something completely separate.

I saw on Twitter someone was calling a character beautiful and people were pointing out they're 16 (At which point they said they didn't know who the character was and apologised) and unfortunately a lot of people defending it because "They're fictional" the art itself was completely innocuous, it was the game awards nominees or something but like the characters on the red carpet and it was posted by an official game studio and before I was reporting people defending the original poster by saying awful things (They weren't one of them, they genuinely didn't realise and was apologetic), I zoomed in on the image to see if I could recognise the character but I couldn't and my OCD convinced me it was for more sinister reasons and I had a groinal, even now my OCD is giving me intrusive thoughts and images sexualising the character and I really hate them

I don't care for a real life relationship. I don't. I'm scared of rejection I'm never going to be pretty enough for my type. I cannot be blonde. I can not be a latina. I can not look pretty at the same time and be curvy. I just prefer imaginary bfs and husbands. They're better >>> idc if that makes me weird or schizophrenic at 19 years old. Most girls my age are dating and older ones are getting married already. I really genuinely don't care about real life relationships. Who the hell wants to risk it and risk a break up, fight or divorce... or cheater or betrayer... I think people are crazy if they would prefer that... Tbh. I'm just gonna stick with my favorite characters and imaginary bf/husband and imaginary friends as well. I really don't give a fuck anymore what other people think. I mean in japan it's legal to marry your favourite character. I think. I really don't care and I think my situation and feelings are why people do that... and all this... In the first place it's because of real people... Society is way too picky...

Does anyone have tips or advice for people with moral ocd. I know spoify is being boycotted and I use the app for convince with music streaming app and don't support them morally. Does anyone have any tips for getting over rumination when I use the app. I also have been having no one respond to my posts which is honestly distressing and frustrating

Can I tt smb please and please have a conversation with I need help badly...

I was struggling, for months I was having a hard time. My OCD was triggered in the month of April this year and that’s where it began. It was really hard and for a month it got more and more difficult. Then I decided to find some therapy near me. It was talk therapy and it was nice, but I was still struggling, and I needed more guidance. During this time, it was so bad I was counting the days in between my therapy sessions when I first started talk therapy. Throughout talk therapy, I realized that I needed more help and I needed someone who can speak my language and you can understand the thoughts and feelings that I’m having. I’m sure that we all go through that when first dealing with Obsessive compulsive disorder. I didn’t understand it myself, maybe that’s what I say now, but maybe underneath all that misunderstanding. It was anger at the fact that this was happening to me. I felt angry. I was compulsively washing my hands 70 times every day I was basically hiding from people when they were talking to me, and I could barely touch food with my hands. I was suffering from contamination OCD, and before I knew it had engulfed my life. Fear became a bad friend. It was my biggest indulgence. I feared absolutely everything and anything. It was difficult. I felt alone, isolated, and hopeless. I was reaching a boiling point and that’s when I decided to go with NOCD and give it a try. Fast-forward months later, my life feels so much different. I still struggle on a daily basis but nowhere near as much as I once did. I feel like I mention it every session, but it’s crazy how much progress I made I’m always telling my therapist that I’m doing things that I once thought were impossible like touching my face, easily eating food with my hands, or looking at others when they’re talking to me. These were things that I literally couldn’t do a couple months ago. I still struggle every single day, but I’m learning every single day. I’m 25 years old and in my 25 years of living OCD has been the hardest thing that I’ve ever gone through and if you’re reading this, I want you to know that you can heal. It takes time and you have to keep it up. You can’t quit. Even as of writing this I’ve been going through some spikes lately, but I want you to know that you can get through this. In one of my sessions, I use the analogy of hitting a tire with a stick. The analogy came from a story that my Dad would tell me about him growing up in Mexico and how he would hit a tire with a stick for fun. You have to keep hitting the tire with the stick for the tire to keep going and you have to view your OCD/mental health the same way. You must continually work at it. I hope this post finds you all well. Recovery is possible. You are going to fight battles that no one will understand. There will not be many people in your personal life will truly understand, but give them grace and give yourself the strength to search out those who do understand. OCD is misunderstood by the masses, so find those who understand. OCD recovery is not a self rescue mission, it’s imperative that you address it, and find the help you need. Give yourself the grace needed to observe yourself without judgement. Applaud the progress you make, make a big deal out of it. Set your sights on new horizons and break through plateaus. 7 months ago I felt like I was struggling with fearfully living, now my eyes are set on living as fearlessly as I can, one day at a time. You got this. - C, (25)

Sleep is becoming my biggest issue. I think being on fluoxetine has definitely helped but since the dose is high rn (80 mg) I think its definitely exacerbating my sleep issues. Ironically, I am so tired of being tired 🥲

Has anyone else ever feared being bipolar? My postpartum was smooth until I hit 4 months pp and then it quickly went left. I woke up one morning and had a panic attack which changed everything. I started thinking I had cancer, my heart was going to stop at any second, had a DVT, literally every physical illness. I was constantly googling my symptoms, etc. I was fine for a month and then I feared going crazy and losing my mind. I believe I had DP/DR which didn’t help. I couldn’t eat, lost so much weight and etc. I’m now 16 months pp and I fear that it all stemmed from being bipolar? Not sure why I think this but maybe because when I’m really anxious I get irritated and then I’m ok when I’m distracted. When I’m not tired or can’t sleep I fear it’s mania, when I’m happy I fear it’s mania, when I’m not anxious I fear it’s mania, etc. everyday I’m anxious about sleeping and if ill be able to sleep and if not then it could mean mania, etc. has anyone else had this experience?

Hi everyone, this is my first post here so sorry if the format is off. I’ve been working with my therapist for about a year and a half. I’m not clinically diagnosed, but based on everything I’ve shared, she believes I have OCD. My obsessions shift over time, and for the past six months it has focused on relationship OCD around friendships. I constantly analyze whether the people I feel close to actually feel the same way about me. If I don’t get the exact kind of reassurance I’m hoping for, I spiral. Therapy hasn’t helped this specific issue much yet, and honestly it feels like it’s getting worse. I keep convincing myself that I have no friends, that I’m a loser, and that I’m basically a social reject in my town. I’ve even gotten into this pattern where I obsessively Snapchat people every single day because I’m terrified that if I don’t, they’ll forget about me or think I don’t care. Then I end up feeling like I’ve annoyed them. And when there’s a group outing with the girls in my town and I’m not invited, I get devastated for weeks. I don’t know if that’s normal or not, but it feels like confirmation that I’m rejected and don’t belong. I talk to a lot of people on Snapchat and I have several male friends (I’m female), but my OCD tells me that male friends don’t count and that having a big female friend group is the only “normal” way to be. That thought really eats at me. I want to put myself out there, but I get too scared. I’ve tried apps like Bumble BFF but never follow through. I’ve messaged old friends to hang out, but I get anxious about going to the things they do. The strange part is that I’m not even sure what I’m looking for anymore. I just know I’ve had good and bad friendships, and I can tell there are people I’d genuinely love to be friends with and others I don’t really want in my life. I’m not sure what to do next or how to break out of this loop. Any insight or similar experiences would mean a lot.

I feel like I don't see much about the type of OCD I'm experiencing, so maybe others can relate? I got engaged in April and have the most incredible fiancé. He is kind, understanding, and tells me constantly that he would never leave me in a million years. But losing him, my best friend and the love of my life, is my absolute worst fear in this world. I would never be the same. I'm an independent person, so I don't want this to sound like I depend on this relationship in an unhealthy way, but he isn't just my partner, he is literally my best friend. I mean seriously, we have so much fun together, we love each other so much, and he is just the biggest blessing. I have this fear that I'm going to do something or think something that would essentially be the thing that he leaves me for. So now, I'm constantly in this state of worry, feeling like I need to confess these thoughts to him. They may be intrusive, or have some logic to them but are essentially not a big deal and not worth saying. But anything that could be perceived as negative, I have to tell him. Like for example, I thought of something as a flaw on him, and I immediately spiraled and had to tell him just to make sure he wouldn't leave me for that. I essentially feel like if I don't say anything, I'm lying to him, and that I'm keeping something from him. I constantly tell myself, "he loves you so much, he would never leave you." but then I'm like, "Yeah, but what if this is the last straw? If he knew, would his feelings change?" I'm back in therapy for my OCD now, because this has really been affecting me, and it's just terrible. I feel like I don't deserve the happy moments I have with him, or at all. Like, I don't deserve to be present in the moment.

Do you have personal experience with OCD medication, and do you would recommend one over another? Up until 2.5 years ago, I thought I had general anxiety with OCD thrown in. Then I determined that it's actually OCPD and OCD calling the shots, and they cause me general anxiety. I've been taking Citalopram for GAD the past 11 years, and I don't think it's as effective anymore. I would also like to try something that's prescribed for OCD. I've done my research and have come across a couple I want to talk to my doctor about, but it's always good to hear others' experiences too.

I'm 20, but I feel so behind my peers. My mental health has caused many roadblocks, and sometimes, I'm afraid of never getting to a point where I actually feel content with where I am. For the past couple of years, life has been stagnant. I don't have a job (due to high anxiety and possibly procrastination), I haven't pursued higher education, even though I do want to, and I don't have a single friend I'm in active communication with. My best friend and I grew apart in high school (I switched to online), and although we keep in touch, we're not as close as we once were. She's across the country in another state attending college, so I only see her in-person once in a blue moon when she returns during breaks. Besides that, we respond to each other's stories, send happy birthdays and such, etc... Realistically, I know I haven't "failed" in life. I try to remind myself that there isn't just one path in life to take and that things are going to be okay, but... I don't think I fully believe it. I want to, but I often feel hopeless. OCD is one of the worst things that has ever happened to me. I'm constantly stuck in the past while trying to live in the present. I feel like I'll never be able to TRULY move on from anything. It will always find some way to reel me back into obsessing. I miss the peace and quiet when my brain wasn't constantly harassing me with horrible intrusive thoughts. I miss it so much. There's so much I want to do in life, but I feel like I'm nerfed or something lmao 💔 I genuinely experience a lot of embarrassment due to everything I talked about above... Any advice or just support would be very much appreciated. I'm just having a rough day.

i am just so frustrated. i keep doing research on the difference between pocd and an actual P, and it just seems the exact same. and everyone keeps telling me “no there’s actually a big difference” but in research there’s literally not. i’ve tried so hard to find more but the only difference i can find is the actual attraction part, but when u dont know what real attraction is because you generally have no experience in it and have natural low attraction it’s like how can you even figure it out for yourself and see if you’re attracted or not??? im just so stuck. its making me angry because i want to figure it out so badly but i just can’t because all the research to me just seems like “yeah real P’s can actually experience and feel the exact same as someone with pocd” and the only difference seems to be real attraction, but when POCD makes you believe you are attracted and have thoughts that people who are attracted can also experience, and even with pocd you feel all negative emotions about the thoughts that also real P’s can feel its like OH MY GOSH HOW DO I FIGURE THIS OUT!!!!!!!! then people are like “if you were a real P you would just know” BUT WHAT IF I DONT???? its possible for a real P to be confused and not really know for sure so like!!?!?!?. i just wish i had a machine where you could type in a question about yourself and it would give you a real definite answer cause then i would know the real cause to all these things im going through.

In January this year i found myself quite attracted to a colleague would go as far to say it was a crush, i never flirted or was inappropriate with them but i did have thoughts about whether being in a relationship with them would maybe be better or if we felt strongly towards each-other i would potentially leave my boyfriend (at the time) But i soon got over this crush and my relationship with my partner got stronger and stronger Now were engaged i feel as though i betrayed him by having that thought and i don’t deserve love and happiness Im not sure if those were the exact thoughts but i definitely did have a bit of a crush What do i do, am i a cheater? Or basically as bad as one😭

Ever since 2 days ago I have been so anxious thinking that I’m losing feelings for my boyfriend, I know it can’t be true cause I still feel attracted to him, but it’s just the little things like for example, whenever I say “I love you” it feels like I can’t feel any emotions, or when I look at pictures of him, it feels like I don’t have any emotions, like before we hung out 2 days ago, I would just admire and think about how handsome he looks in the photos and now I just feel nothing, but sometimes I’ll feel emotions. Idk. My mind is so confusing. And it’s been putting so much anxiety on me cause like he is the most sweetest, most caring man I’ve ever been with. I can’t let him go. Can anyone give advice on how I can get rid of this feeling?

18+ please I saw art of Marvel Rivals skins and one of them was Peni Parker, nothing weird official art of a skin they'll be releasing, I didn't realise who it was at first so zoomed in, my OCD convinced me it was with sinister intentions (Even if it was, they've confirmed she's 18 but I still don't like the idea of her being sexualised because she's not in every other continuity). I then kept getting intrusive images of the other version of her from Spider-Verse that were incredibly disgusting and disturbing and I'm struggling with the what if I saw something terrible involving her and didn't do anything or worse, even though it makes no sense as when I saw something like that, I freaked out for an entire day and the other time was just under some random tweet that again, freaked me out for a while. Those were both this year though and I have this nagging in the back of my head of "What if it was earlier than that and you forgot?". I know I have to just sit with the uncertainty and stop ruminating but it's really really hard. Does anyone have any techniques they use to do it that help?

This theme just keeps coming back again and again. I just feel like my evidence is TOO good yknow? I remember all the ways I sought attention, how my self esteem has always been terrible, how I never fit in to friend groups, how I coped by imagining I was special in some way, how I'm so judgemental. I love to yap about my interests, and am finding it increasingly hard to listen to others. I feel like I always have to put on a mask around others, it's like my brain shuts off and I go into "blank person" mode. I feel like nothing ever makes me happy, I always find a problem. I feel very empty inside. My mother is very smothering, and still wants to do everything for me. And you know the worst part? It's hard for me to say no! It is really convenient. However, I fight her a lot about this, I tell her I'm an adult with 2 legs, but she insists. This fills me with constant guilt and shame. My Dad seems to be a classic narc. And while I vowed to never use the tactics he does like guilt tripping, lying, ruining every big event, threats, etc, I do find in myself similarities that I worry about constantly (such as temper, impatience, lecturing, etc). Okay. So with all this said, here's why I might NOT be one: I feel guilt and remorse, like, all the time. When I upset someone, even if I initially thought I was justified, I pretty much always apologize after reflection and cool down. Another thing is, I DO have affective and cognitive empathy. However, I've been finding it harder to access it as of late, I often feel numb, maybe from checking my feelings all the time? I often put on a show of compassion that I dont feel in the moment, because I care about the other person. Also, I often catch myself judging someone and try to correct the thought. I'm hyperaware of all of my faults and failings, and I've prayed to God over and over again to make me humble. Finally, numerous therapists, as well as people close to me, have all told me I don’t have it. They often say people who have NPD don't think their behavior is a problem. But how true is that, especially with vulnerable narcissists?

i’m putting a TW just in case anyone is having a similar issue to me—i’m having a mixed battle of SOOCD and ROCD and i am looking for some advice. does anyone else feel this way? i have for as long as i can remember. whenever i find out someone has a crush on me and tries to execute their feelings towards me, i instantly get a pit in my chest and i want to avoid them as much as possible. usually if i find out they have a crush on me i’m like “okay whatever that’s fine”, but the moment they try to do something about it is when i feel as though i’m being suffocated. i think a lot of it has to do with the fact that A. i’m hyper independent and usually prefer to be on my own, B. i recently discovered i have an avoidant attachment style, and i have never been an affectionate person really at all, whether it be with family or friends. and C. most of the time, i barely know the people who crush on me and i get uncomfortable at the idea of someone thinking about or perceiving me in a way that is not reciprocated. it feels like a bunch of eyes are on me, and being independent and shy i hate that. i’ve only had about 5 real crushes in my life and i don’t think i’ve ever actually been in love—i think part of that is because i don’t really let myself form relationships often. i’ve always chalked it up to me being independent and shy and telling myself it will change one day and that it’ll happen if/when it happens, but i’m worried it won’t. i’ve never been the type to actively seek out relationships, just let time do its thing, which i usually would be doing right now but ocd decided to swing onto this vine like tarzan. i try to give myself slack because i’m only 18 and i have so much life ahead of me HAHA but who knows. weirdly enough i’m kind of a hopeless romantic because i love to daydream and fantasize about finding love, i love romantic situations and i often have dreams about finding someone, but then when it actually happens my body goes into self protection mode and i self sabotage in the end. worst part is once it’s all over i’ll feel like an idiot that blew a chance, and then the cycle repeats. i’m meeting with my therapist soon so i can hopefully resolve this because i miss how my life was before ocd started attacking this hahah anyone else this way and have any possible tips for me? thanks (:

(I do not expect any diagnosis, but I just want to know if this is abnormal or if this is just a weird but fairly normal thing) I've been having odd symptoms for years, and really drastic mood switches to where I just brushed off aside for a long time but recently it's just been a bit too much for me. (And it isn't just being happy for a day then next day I'm sad) and it also affects my OCD symptoms as well . For example, one day I'm really in a good mood, I am extremely hopeful for myself and future and I am really well at finishing my tasks and I work towards my goals. I spend time on my hobbies and interests. And etc. (Aka this is usually my overall self/where I feel most normal) but then sometimes it elevates a bit and I also begin to feel extremely euphoric and important, my confidence is over the top, I feel almost unstoppable. (OCD and my dark intrusive thoughts/compulsions are poking at me at times still, but I fall for it less. But now that I'm happy, Health OCD hits me hard at times and I start to worry about my own health and scared if I'll die when I feel like I have so much left to accomplish and do.) Then the next I could either be extremely impulsive and I start doing whatever comes to mind, sometimes I end up regretting it later on and it doesn't help with my OCD at all. I feel like my thoughts are so quick and it gives me headaches, I start feeling really restless and like I can't do anything else. (My intrusive thoughts/compulsions elevate EXTREMELY and I start doing nonstop compulsions and I start panicking and feeling like my life is over, this is where I usually start having major urges on confessions over the smallest things.) And then not even an hour later sometimes, I suddenly stop and now I'm extremely numb and quiet- I don't talk to anyone and become nonverbal. I avoid everyone and everything. Even the TINIEST inconvenience could drive me into becoming extremely depressed and start insulting myself and I become to cynical towards everything. I start lashing out on everything and feel like the worst person ever. I start to say things like "I should give up why bother.", "I'm a failure", etc. Or I just feel extremely guilty and I feel like a major burden to everyone I love, I start seeing myself in an awful light and my goals fade. I dissociate a lot during these moods. (My intrusive thoughts become more dark and my compulsions take up more energy, I start worrying whether if this is permanent and if I'm an awful person. harm OCD becomes extra strong here and it sucks.) (Luckily, I have some self-awareness to at least let out my emotions when I'm alone, so I don't upset someone else. I also mask all of these emotions during school and normally only at that place. OCD still stays at the back of my head, and my mood is always just meh since I just don't like being in classes. But that also worries me into thinking "what if I'm just a liar ?") Sometimes I can feel one way for weeks and it suddenly switches to another, then it switches through every few days, sometimes I can go from the happy/manic to extremely despressed and hopeless in only a span of a few hours. It makes me feel really uncomfortable, also since I can have 10 fully different OCD themes play out depending on how I'm feeling : ( this also leads to me ruminating and worrying about myself and identity And it still affects my OCD symptoms, these mood swings triggers my mind to start having intrusive thoughts such as "Your impulsiveness only affects you right now, but one day it will lead you into doing something extremely horrible", "You are a monster", "You don't have OCD, you're just a mess", etc. I start freaking out worrying that's true or that I don't have OCD at all and I was just lying to myself all my life . So my overall question is does anyone else with OCD feel this way ? Or is this something I should look more into . Again, I know I can't have an overall diagnosis, (although I wish I could .) but I'm only looking for some insight "<:^)