y’all im so happy!!!i only got anxious in the morning but i ignored the thoughts and i have been calm today!!I also did my makeup to distract myself and i went too school in the morning !!and also there’s a dog on campus everyday roaming around school and his name is “bommer” and he’s a golden retriever 🥺🥺 I walked into school and said good morning to teachers and the dog came up to me and one of the teachers said “he’s like “you need a hug today” awww” and yes i really did bc the past 3 days have been awful but now im ok!!!i promise it gets better!!!
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Does anyone else have these moments where small events traumatize / taint your memory? For example, I could be listening to a song I like, but then a small circumstance occurs and now that song is a tainted memory. Is there a name for what this is called?
Depression is hitting hard, Ive given up and believed my thoughts because the proof made sense to me. My past life is just not making any sense anymore, I cant even rember how I used to be or think, everything is blurry and like Im forgetting It all. Im also genuinely convinced that Im gay, I feel nothing for women and almost everything for the same sex. And like I said Ive pretty much given up and accepted it and Im not even panicking, just depressed and disheartened about this whole ordeal. I feel pretty detached to most things aswell. What should I do? Is this still ocd?
Remember guys. Feelings aren’t fact. U may “feel” like U like it. But u rlly don’t. Just saying this Cus I’m seeing a lot of scared people about this
What do you guys do when you feel like you’re losing yourself or like you’re detached from reality
I feel like whenever I do compulsions like "I like guys" after a thought, I feel like im gonna blurt out I like girls ugh
It feels like moving in with my boyfriend was the worst thing for me and my ocd. I constantly feel like it made me open my eyes to my reality like I really am gay or that I don’t want to really be with him. This move has made my HOCD/ROCD way worse, like I’m coming to all these realizations but am having trouble accepting it for myself and taking action.
Are others with hocd/soocd also just genuinely terrified theyll never be truly attracted to anyone again in future? Im so scared i will be faking liking a guy or just not feel anything because im so worried and checking everything or finally “realise” im in denial. It already feels like i would avoid dating anyone because id be terrified it would turn out im not attracted to them and that would feel like the ultimate proof for me at this point..
Hey guys :) Um, I’d like to let you know that I just read a lesbian fanfiction I’m hoping I cam get through this and count is as ERP :D
I was watching a movie yesterday with family, Jumanji the 2017 ver and that part where the girl is seducing the guys made me have a groinal but it felt like I liked it but I just sat with it bc what else could I do. And today I had a dream where I was saying to myself I like girls and just accept it and I didnt wake up feeling anxious, wth happened it's like I dont care anymore and it's making me think im in denial, and sometimes I do that to check how I react and I just don't like it
Can freaking out that you’re actually asexual be part of the sexual orientation theme?
Intrusive dreams + groinals + lack of anxious feelings = 😭😭😭
a bit of a long post/rant. would appreciate the advice <3 so i have been having very fewer thoughts and have been able to just shush them recently and ignore them. i guess that is pretty good recovery? but something that still bugs me is that i would still get eome thoughts or feelings like "i would actually enjoy being with a woman" or i would like it and want it and i have same sex attraction but just can't accept myself. i really feel in denial yet i ignore it. the thing is my ocd has gone down so does that mean these thoughts and feelings are mine or is it ocd's last try ay getting me? i am genuinely curious because now i just ignore the thoughts and don't engage but it makes me feel like i am denying it and just ignoring the obvious facts of me being in denial. i don't ruminate and barely check anymore because i am just too tired to do so tbh.
What I so at least once a day. Look at myself in the mirror. Tell yourself. "I am an overcomer of OCD because I will not give into my stupid thoughts my brain has" dance in the mirror and accept it.
So sometimes the groinals just happen to me when I look at certain things. Doesn’t even have to be a result of an intrusive thought. Am I normal?
I need some advice I don’t care what sexuality I am anymore I just want to be myself. I don’t know if the true me is from my soul, but I’m trying to be the true me but I can’t because I’m confused on what sexuality I am. I’ve just given up like if I’m bi, gay or straight just let me be it and move on. But the wierd thing is that I’m happy with being bi and gay but I’m not happy with being straight.
Why do I think I look gay. I even hate looking in the mirror sometimes 😞
the first few days on meds did it make anyone feel like they’ve been in denial?
idk if actual bad ppl would be as concerned with confessing as i am like i will tell anyone the length of everything i’ve done and if that means punishment then i deserve it like ik i have ocd but is that further proof idk
Deep thinkers (those who like to investigate for answers) how did you stop rumination ? This is hard
I AM BACK ON TRACK. Wohoooo. Meds are working and I literally felt like I am bi in denial for few days. I didn't fall for ocd's tricks and I can feel myself again. I literally don't feel I am in denial anymore. 🙈 I feel straight. I am straight and have started enjoying lifeee like I used to. I don't even do compulsions.
Why is my brain making me think the shit that I was never okay with, it’s okay now when I know it’s NOT like my Brian convinces me it’s good but it’s not 😭 wtf I feel like my brain really betraying me here
I have this angel cards, like those spiritual cards that you use to be guided by angels. So I asked them “am I gay” and I picked a card and it said “it’s time to come out of the closet” and I panicked but gave it another shot. Guess what happened the second time. I picked the same card again. And it happened several times. Is this actually a sign!!
i’m starting a job soon and i have anxiety about it. well it could be because i’ve never had a job before (i’m only a teenager) and i get very socially anxious that’s why i’ve been pushing off getting a job/saying no when i get hired because i get too anxious but i know i have to step out of my comfort zone and push through the anxiety/ocd and beat it. if anyone has gone through something similar or is going through a job with anxiety/ocd share some tips on how you deal with it etc!:)
How do you deal with breathing anxiety and chest and back pain when breathing? It's been 7 Hours.
I cant even look at guys on the street in the eyes. Does not help that I work in food industry, when Im serving guys that trigger me, I lose all focus and get very weird and I know they would tell if I dont have a mask on. My body language completely changes and I get extremely nervous, It wasnt this bad before but now Its crazy. Idk If its good or bad or If I want to or not. When It feels like I want to, I get depressed and confused. I want to go back to being normal but I dont know at all what my normal should look like. Also does anyone here genuinely confused about their sexuality, If they are straight or gay? Is this still hocd?
So I had a sexual experience with another girl when I was in 8th grade, around the age of 14-15. I’ll be 21 in October. The moment replays in my mind often, & I have to turn it off. I don’t think I am bisexual, or lesbian, but this moment in my history makes me feel otherwise. Is this normal?
Does anyone else’s HOCD make them think about childhood/puberty and if they ever had gay thoughts which means you must be gay?
Does anyone deal with a false memory of cheating on their partner? A couple years ago I drank an amount of alcohol ( one corona) that would not have been enough for me to black out and not remember anything but I am convinced that something might have happened that I just can’t remember because I was under the influence. The more I try and stop analyzing the more my mind places imagines / sensations in my head convincing me that I must tell my partner, does anyone have any advice of how to stop reacting to the thoughts or even what I should do in this situation?
When relationship OCD makes you doubt your love for your partner, what do y’all do to bounce back? And how do you not feel guilty about those feelings even though they aren’t your fault?
Pocd thoughts. Sometimes I have thoughts of "it's OK if youre a p" or "it's fine if you do bad things to children". And then I'm like... Wth is wrong with me?? Am I the only one?? I don't know if it's my head trying to give me a rest or trying to cope with it... I just... Hate these thoughts!! I don't want to think like this!! Am I alone in this? ;-; I feel so disgusting... I have a gf and I want to be happy with her and these thoughts usually follow that. Or if I'm trying to ruminate... God...
Person 1: Why do you put breadcrumbs outside your door every night? Person 2: It keeps the tigers away. Person 1: But there aren’t any tigers around here. Person 2: Yes. Effective isn’t it? OCD in a nutshell.
My wisdom to all of you Have a faith system. Seriously, life it hard. We all have good days, bad days, sometimes good weeks, bad weeks and beyond. Find yourself something to believe in, no matter what that is. Seriously go watch Tabita Brown's long video on why she became vegan. It was a livestream but let me tell you it will hit you harder than you are prepared for. Check your diet, seriously. You might sit there and think it won't affect things, but your diet affects all of your hormones, your neurotrasmitters all that. Many people with OCD and anxiety have gotten amazing benefits from intermittent fasting. There's studies showing within a few days there was a 40% decrease of anxiety for most, and within 4 weeks their serotonin levels went up almost 50%. Just from the time frame that they ate! Advocate for yourself. Stand up, and speak your mind when you are struggling. Stop trying to put on a face and act how you believe others want you to act. That isn't you, that isn't who you need to be. You are wonderful just the way you are, and if other's don't agree, they are just on a different path. And that's okay. Stop living by the idea of "well this happened in the past". So what if something bad happened in the past? So what if it happened 100 times? That is never going to be enough proof that it will positively happen this next time. You may have gotten rejected repeatedly, who's to say this one next time won't be the time you get accepted? Realize our struggle is what unites us. Everyone has their thing. Everyone has their own struggle, their own condition. Everyone has something that eats away at them, you just may not see it. The happiest people on the outside can be absolutely crippled inside. Realize that your treatment, your lifestyle and your beliefs will play a huge role in how you feel. Try everything and then some. When you feel like you're about to give up, try the next thing. No matter what you feel, there will ALWAYS be a next thing. Have a blessed night y'all💛
Dear pre SO-OCD self, I miss many things about you. I miss the times when thoughts didn’t consume your every moment. I miss when you were excited to hang out with friends. I miss when you didn’t have an inner self talking down at you, telling you lies, and making you judge every party of your being. I wish so badly to go back to that one day in January, to not have watched that movie, and not give the lingering ocd something to grab on to. I will find you again. It may take some time, but know that I am trying. Every tear shed, bad day, sleepless night, and Therapy session will all be worth it if it means I get you back. This has been a hard day, but I am going to stand up and try again tomorrow. I know many of you will relate to this message. Not necessarily with the same sub-type, but equally in your own. Know you are resilient, amazing, and strong for enduring the intrusive thoughts/ compulsions day after day. I believe in each and every one of you. ♥️
I’m trying my best to word this question in a way so it doesn’t sound like I’m asking for reassurance, I am just curious if I’m alone with my experience. Does anyone else deal with false memories that stemmed from a real event? Kind of like I remember half of the story but my mind likes to assume the worst happened and proceeds to fill in the rest... if anyone has dealt with this any recommendations as to how to react in a way that does not make the ocd worse would be so helpful
I want to ask this but I’m trying hard to ask in a way that’s not looking for reassurance.. ok so my question is, we all know how real OCD thoughts can feel and how bad the anxiety can get, I guess my question is can the anxiety get so bad that you act on the thoughts or “urges” (or what feels like urges) I have self harm OCD and it’s extremely scary to deal with. I don’t want to hurt myself at all but the intense anxiety is really scary. Just feels like it will take over at any moment :/
I'm having a really bad hold day. With a ton of triggers and false(?) attraction, and even questioning if this is really OCD.(despite the many many signs it is) what should I do to help get my mind off it? It's really bothersome.
It's been a couple of months since I finished my session with NOCD but I'm having a bit of a relapse with my OCD theme. I'm managing okay but it's been rather aggressive the past three days.
OCD is pretty much non existent for me now. I still have intrusive thoughts sometimes but the anxiety around them is gone. I just want everyone to know that if you’re struggling and have not tried medication - please try it as it has saved my life. Finding the right medication & therapy is the best combo in my opinion. Hang in there ❤️
Im losing grip on myself and reality, completely forgotten who I used to be, How is this possible? Id jump with excitiement when a girl would message me, now when I talk, Nothing except intrusive thoughts even towards them. I feel very numb rn and feel far away from myself. I dont feel normal at all, I keep oversleeping anytime I get a chance. I have convinced myself completely that I was always gay and believed it too which couldve been just simple self esteem issues, like a stupid delusion. How do I undo this? Or am I actually this way, Is it actually possible that I changed or have reazlized? Im going to scream!!! Im panicking rn guys, not even anxious bc I suspect I have depression and its strong atm. I dont want to be gay :( but It feels like I already am and cant do anything about it, do I have to forget all about women, my past self of 21 years? Was none of that the actual me, what I felt etc?just not accepting it? My head dosent feel in the right space. Ughhh I need some advice please.
Do I have a crush on this person because I get anxious around them and when they txt me I want to see the message right away and answer immediately?? I’ve been having obsessive thoughts about this person. They are assigned sex at birth a girl but appear “masculine” and date girls. Ever since I had the thought “would I be les/bi if I develop a crush on them?” I kept having thoughts that I like them. They are also my friend and it’s hard to distinguish if I have a crush on them or is it because my obsessive thoughts?
I’m crying right now. So for like 2 days I’ve been listening to subliminals to change my appearance. And now I’m getting really bad philosophy ocd. I’m dissociated and I’m scared. I keep getting thoughts saying what if I’m not in the right universe. I’m so scared, has anyone ever had something like this?
So my hocd left for a while because I had developed rocd but now that's gone and the hocd is back and it's latched onto a singer and his song😩
not to sound sappy, but this app made me realize that im not the only one who have these thoughts that make them be on edge all the time. i always used to think that i was crazy and wrong for having it.
Why do I feel immediately better after doing an exposure? Like such as telling myself “maybe I DONT love my partner? So what?” I think it so loud in my head that it distracts me from my initial intrusive thought and I just feel... nothing?
Can OCD center itself around people who are trying to help you get rid of it. My harm OCD has been a lot more centered around my therapist and I wonder if it’s because she’s trying to help me get rid of it. But it makes me not want to go there again because I am in a room alone with her and I’m terrified I’ll actually do something. I know it’s not real but it feels so real 😭
📐✒️ Symmetry/perfectionist/just-right friends: We need, like, an email-anxiety-related group or something. Or maybe a few of us can just figure out some kind of check-in routine here together? Thoughts?
So I was watching Harry Potter and there’s a scene where Sirius says to Harry something along the lines of “we all have good and bad in us, it’s what we choose to act on that makes us who we are.” Your thoughts are different than your actions stay strong everyone <3
I have a cold rn. And I think just not feeling good physically is making me feel not good mentally, which affecting my ocd. I’m basically nervous about throwing up or having a panic attack. And I’ve been crying about it because I hate the way I feel when I’m sick and it genuinely makes me nervous anyways. Does anyone have any tips on how to calm down if you ever feel like this
I’m really excited because a video game I‘ve been waiting on comes out tomorrow, but my excitement has turned into anxiety somehow :( I can feel an OCD spiral coming up and I’m desperately trying to calm it down so I can play this game tonight. Any tips appreciated :)
i don’t think i’ve been getting many intrusive thoughts the last couple days and it worries me but not enough, it sucks that i’d rather feel anxiety than feel this weird numbness it’s like i don’t care anymore and i don’t like it
i keep having this sick disgusting feeling that i might’ve groomed someone when i know my intention was not that at all but i still feel sick and tired and i feel like i have to confess it but i have already and no one cared bc it was literally public jokes that everyone could see and thanking someone for a compliment by calling them a sweetheart.
I had an intrusive thought and urge to tell people I'm gay, but I'm not. I'm freaking out. Is that normal? Am I just in denial??
i could REALLY use some help:( i’m being so hard on myself because i was trying to not watch porn or do anything sexual the whole month and was doing so good but gave in today. how do i stop obsessing over something i cant change? :(
TFW you don’t realize just how much anxiety something causes you until you do it as an exposure and can’t do compulsions 😣 I compulsively reread work emails before and after sending them. Sent one without excessive rereading in session today - had a total anxiety attack afterwards! And then I sadly gave in and reread the email about 20 minutes after sending it. I’m disappointed that I wasn’t able to follow through with my RP plan. I guess now I know I have some work to do…
I hate meeting new people by that I mean girls. I feel like I’m going to have a sexual awakening like Érica han on greys anatomy and the thought of that makes me so depressed. At this point my brain doesn’t even fight back anymore, I’m so tired of having hocd. Even as I’m typing this my brain is telling me I don’t mean what I’m saying 😔
I’m having a decent day today. I’m in a rush to be fully recovered, but I know recovery takes time. I’ve been working with a therapist and doing ERP and rumination tracking, and I feel it making a difference. A few months ago I was literally not functional. I had a full on break down and was convinced that I had to come out as lesbian in order to escape the fear and anxiety and obsessions. I was terrified because I didn’t want to be with women and I didn’t want to break up with my bf but my ocd was telling me that I inevitably had to be someone I didn’t want to be. I thought I’d never get better. Months later I’m still with my boyfriend and I am feeling so much better. I’m not fucking coming out because I’m straight and ocd doesn’t run my life. I know that I will go back to fully feeling like myself again soon. I hope this gives hope to some people who are at rock bottom. I was there too. You can make it through this ❤️
To everyone suffering right now. I just want to tell you that you’re all strong, amazing people! You are incredible for putting up with the harshness of ocd and no matter how bad you may feel, you’re still awesome and you will recover in time! Take some time to relax and do something you enjoy!
Y'all ever glimpse at someone that you thought was good looking, well that happened to me but I wasn't sure if they were a guy or a girl, they looked like a guy. My hocd is acting up, I didn't even want to look at them again to confirm, I hope they weren't a girl. Now saying this makes me feel icky and like it's internalized homophobia ugh
MARRIAGE I keep hearing “when you know you know” and that phrase makes my OCD spiral out of control. I wonder, “what if I don’t know.. about my boyfriend?” “Do I feel that way?” Etc etc. and I ruminate. I don’t want to get married right now, I don’t feel ready and I worry I will always feel that way as long as I am with my boyfriend. I miss feeling like I could marry him tomorrow and not have one doubt in the world.
Wondering if anyone is on fluvoxamine? Has it improved your ocd? And have you tolerated it ok?
i feel like i like it and everytime i say i don't it feels like i am lying
Is it ok to give your mum a cuddle when your really low and upset it not reassurance seeking ? As have so many thoughts in my head that won’t budge
Can intrusive thoughts be any thoughts? Also why do I feel like I’m implanting throw the thoughts? Like I’m putting them there?
Today my OCD is saying I feel good because I'm not arguing with the thoughts because I have "come to terms"/"accepted" it which means it's true. OCD is such a bully, you just can't win. lol
To those with SO-OCD, If you have a significant other, have you told them about your OCD?
Woke up with a groinal but no anxiety... mind tells me I had groinals to intrusiv thoughts...
some days i wake up and just immediately want to go back to sleep bc i’m hit by several triggers in the first 20 mins of being on my phone. i hate the pocd / hocd compulsions of glancing / having the urge to glance at private areas to check your feelings & whatnot. the fact that i even want to do the compulsion makes me feel like a terrible & disgusting person. of course, i never get the response or feeling i hoped for after doing it anyway. it’s such a vicious cycle. i feel like i can’t get up and do what i want to do today. i feel like i shouldn’t be allowed to be happy.
I can’t help but feel like I have to confess my thoughts to my husband when they are so awful . I tell him because I know I don’t want to act to them , it’s just that they are so bad . I feel like I need to tell everyone the thought I have if its a bad one about them :/
Today I'll be reassuring myself : I'm not gay because gay people feel the same for the same sex like we feel for the opposite sex Next morning :I have feelings for the same sex. If today I reassure myself saying that I dont like men, tomorrow I'll start liking men Does this happen to everyone or is it only me pls do reply I'm having a rough week🙏
I hate that every time I find someone of the same gender attractive, my brain will start telling me that it's proof that I'm gay and I hate it so much. I miss the days when I can find the same gender attractive without associating it as being gay.
i drink coffee like every morning and i forget how much that makes my anxiety rise and now im jittery before classes and me thinking im into the same sex is at an all time high
I really hate how OCD has attacked all of my passions. The things I defined myself by and lived my life for. I feel like a fraud in every aspect of my life now. I just want to feel secure in myself again but will that ever even be possible?
it would be a lot easier if i didn’t actually get turned on by the idea of a threesome or lesbian fantasies. idk how to manage this trigger i’ve already accepted i get turned on by it but ocd just latches on and won’t let go
I'm worried that going to therapy and fixing my OCD will stifle my creativity as an artist. Obsessions have helped me in my creativity so far.
I feel like I'm back at square one with my hocd except now it feels even more real... I'm more convinced now that I'm gay... Last year when this all started, at least being gay didn't feel like me. Now it's starting to feel like I actually am... Others with similar feelings? How have you overcome this?
I miss being straight and having no problems in life alot😭. I'm listening to the song "at my worst by pink sweats" and crying. Please bring back my past.😭😭😭😭. Please help me someone please please please😭😭
(This is more social anxiety than ocd question) So in several months I will be doing a very nerve racking performance (just hypothetically let’s say it’s a piano recital ) I want to do really well and not be over taken by nerves. If anybody has any tips to work my way up to not being anxious around people I’d love that
A NOCD friend posted requests for how to start something and how not to get locked into perfectionism once started. This post is not an answer to those, at least not a magical thing that always works and doesn’t feel like pulling teeth. I’ve been thinking about using my planner/journal again. I’ve been planning it in my head. Now I’m “forcing” myself to actually write in it today. It doesn’t feel “right”. There is so much missing that “needs” to be addressed and filled. All of this makes me dread doing it. ** Writing this NOCD post might even be another stall tactic in disguise; however, posting about anything here always makes me feel more accountable. I know if I share it here I feel all of ya. Even when I don’t listen to myself/do it for myself, for everyone here, it’s more manageable. So I’m “forcing” that first journal post. I’m not turning it into an all night make-up post for the past 7 weeks I missed, though later, I may fill in what’s helpful and already accounted. ** I don’t feel “ready” for it. I don’t want to do it. But I’m going to. Maybe I should tell my OCD what I tell my dog when he sasses me. I remind him that I am more stubborn than he is. So I’ll now be more stubborn than my OCD. It may have taken days of sitting around thinking about it, but I’m doing it. No more just thinking. ** (Also doing this as an edit style rather than more “perfectly” inserting it—) I am also not waiting for September 1st! So now it’s also uneven! The reset button isn’t being pushed on another, predetermined beginning. But it’s still happening TONIGHT. May we all be more stubborn than our issues. 💪🏼💜
Do any of you guys have your sex drive still? I hate that i feel empty like nothing works for me. I even try to have sex and sometimes it feels good but these thoughts are so powerful i cant enjoy anything for very long.
Before hocd, I was kinda homophobic and now after hocd, I'm like it's okay to be gay. BUT IM NOT GAY ! What has happened to me
What were some the earlier signs of OCD that you experienced that you didn't know was OCD?
If you have suffered from depression and ROCD for a long time can it convince you your not in love anymore?
Help I have bad anxiety 😟 during the bus ride to school I was breathless and my heart was pacing so fast I’m nervous I’ll be nervous help
Dare to stand up to ocd and live your life, anxiety and all go out and live!