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So I do my best to abstain from checking my heart rate but sometimes I think about it and I can feel it beating in my chest. It’s not abnormal or anything but I notice it and it’s all I can think about. It’s usually the trigger or start to my anxiety spiral. How can I mitigate that? If I’m busy doing something I don’t notice it unless the thought comes along and says “hmm ur moving very quickly I bet ur heart rate is fast” I have zero symptoms of anything wrong. It’s a mental obsession followed by an urge to check it and if I don’t I feel anxious but if I do I’m still a little anxious especially if it’s faster than I think it should be. This is some sorta trap that I can’t seem to break

signs of comphet (comphet is when lesbians who don’t know it and just follow norms and believe there straight) ive felt: “I never really felt anything when kissing boys and totally thought that was normal… I talk to men, go on dates, but I think it’s to keep my life ‘interesting’ and have something to talk about with friends.” • lack of deep, natural emotional connection • trying to replay moments where i “felt” something with my boyfriend (probably arousal or excitement from being wanted, not actual sexual/romantic attraction) to again remind myself of my “attraction” towards them• talking about my boyfriend to other people made me feel “cool”, “worthy”, “interesting” and felt like a way to prove myself • being able to clearly articulate all the reasons I liked a guy crush/my boyfriend (he’s smart, funny, kind, handsome, etc) whereas with a girl crush I can’t exactly put my finger on why I like them but I’m just naturally drawn to them • never missing my exes or feeling heartbroken about them (i would feel sad from being lonely and no longer having that daily routine of having someone to talk to, but didn’t necessarily miss that specific person) • i was always very hesitant about “becoming official” with a guy i would be seeing and would make him wait before deciding to date because i “didn’t know if i really liked him or not” (i didn’t!) only being aroused by their desire for me (this is what made me figure out I was a lesbian). • Thinking I was cooler than other girls because I didn't spend any time thinking about how cute boys were or being "boy-crazy". I was under the impression for a while that I must just be less shallow than other people because I didn't really take looks into account when I had a crush on a boy, I only factored in their personality. Turns out this is called not being attracted to men and just wanting to be their friend! XD i’m scared my experiences with men have been only comphet because they all align with this. like when i had my hocd break for two years and went back to men it aligns with comphet so now im like was me going back to men not genuine and im actually lesbian. but it’s like have i been emotionally or romantically actually attracted to a man or has it been comphet and i haven’t and i just did it because i thought i should like my sister or friends

Tw for people with pocd maybe I'm so tired of eighteen years old being consider adults or whatever i don't want to be an adult I'm fifteen I don't want to be fifteen leave me alone I want to be fourteen forever fifteen is too much I want to be fourteen I don't want to be fifteen,I never want to be an adult I want to be a child why can't I stay 13/14 forever I turned 15 19 days ago and I can't get over it leave me alone I don't want to be an adult,why do people consider 18 years olds adults when they're still in highschool and if 17 years olds are consider teens then why 18 years olds aren't when it's eightTEEN and neunTEEN,i literally saw a video of an 19 year old with an 33 year old man like it's a teen stop,and I saw a girl who's 2010 just like me say "stop treating us like kids we will be adults in 3 years" like eighteen is still so young please stop,i feel like a child,I don't feel like I will be an adult in 3 years why is 18 even consider an adult when you're still in highschool and brain develops to 25 just leave me alone please Can any adult 20+ tell me how it's like being an adult like the way you think and the way you see things? sorry for any grammar mistakes I was frustrated and English isn't mine first language

I haven’t posted here in a while but I just wanted to ask a question. While having ocd is it normal to have days when you don’t feel like talking to anyone even if you wanted to? I have felt this for a while and I can’t figure out why do I feel like that. Usually I’m a very talkative person and even when I don’t feel like talking to anyone I always talk to my boyfriend but now even talking to him feels like a burden and I just don’t understand why. This situation has also made my intrusive thoughts even worse:( Idk what to do and what to feel like, I’m feeling kind of empty and emotionless. I was diagnosed with ocd some months ago so I’m kind of new to all this stuff and that’s why I’m asking. I don’t want to ask questions in a compulsive way and I try very hard to avoid it if that makes any sense. I would be very grateful if someone could answer me:)

I feel like I've been doing good with trying to get better. Sticking to therapy as much as I can (with ups and downs). But I just feel somehow more blue than ever. Anyone else feel like that? My self talk is such a drag. Im trying to shake it.

Hi hi, my therapist recommended i look into medication options to help with my treatment. i want to try meds, but im a little weary after an evil zoloft experience,, though that could just be that zoloft is generally evil lol. what are your guy’s experiences (good or bad) w meds/what did you take? i know they aren’t a sole solution but im looking for all the help i can get. thank you!!!

My favourite animal is me when i cry because its possible to be gay and have hocd. Im so tired.i know im just 14.i know. Im simply like men.i know I shouldn’t think about this,but my ocd keep telling me that im not,because i have no experience.I don’t like or want women.i dont.i dont want it to happen.im not homophobic.i try to accept it because im afraid to not be honest with myself,but the pain is more and more. Im afraid that i wont love a man in future,and that i will love a women with no control..i hate that im just a silly teen that isnt “enough to know what i want”. I hate when people say im just young.i hate when my ocd say im just shame to be gay and im still homophobic because of my country(im a lgptq supporter and atheist for a year)i hate reading some people experience with hocd and they was really gay,i hate when my ocd tell me that when i travel to an open country to lgptq im gonne love women,i hate that it seems so true,i hate when i dont know whats ocd and whats not,but all i hope,that i heal from ocd..and still being straight..my peaceful dream..

Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.

I flirted back to my friends bf one time. Maybe this is a confession. The thing is I dont judge myself, but I do feel judged by them. OCD got its grips in me this week. Convinced im the worst person in the world for these crimes. Can't read any of the messages she sent me after calling so many times. He is messaging me too and I cant read it. Its been a week. I dont know what to do. She has his Instagram and phone and was calling me from his phone and his ig too. Part of me wants to block them all to stop the harassment, part of me wants to defend myself, part of me wants to tell her the truth that I dont gaf about him and he was coming onto me not the other way around. But she would never believe it anyway.

agh .. okay .. i’m so so embarrassed to post this, i’m literally crying .. but i need some help and advice. or maybe just a place to vent. i don’t know yet. so .. i was hanging out with three of my cousins today, and a few friends. one of my cousins was driving us around, and it was a pretty long drive, and we all just chatted, had fun, you know, normal teenager shit. but i couldn’t help but shift my focus onto certain things about my cousin driving — “wow, he’s going so fast, he’s so cool,” “i like the way his hands are gripping the wheel. wow his hands. hands hands hands” “his happy trail looks nice” (we went swimming) “i feel jealous of his girlfriend” and all sorts of things. i just feel. so awful. i don’t want these thoughts at all, and i feel just horrible. my ocd mixed with hypersexuality from trauma is just not helping at all, and i just want to get rid of these thoughts. i feel so disgusted with myself, and i’m scared that even though intrusive thoughts are normal, maybe mine are too far and i’m just “unfixable” or “broken.” any advice on what i could do? :( edit: i would like to add that we’re not even blood cousins, since we’re “related” through my step dad, which makes these thoughts worse and makes my head go, “oh, well, it’s okay!!” aghh. so frustrating :(

Maybe I am a horrible person. Maybe I do deserve to go to prison forever. Maybe I do deserve to not be with my mom for the rest of her life. Maybe I do deserve to be shanked to death in a prison…. Or maybe I don’t. Sitting with that uncertainty no matter how horrible, helps you to think rationally. Hope you’re all thriving today. “Maybe” has helped me through my worst theme so far. I hope it helps you too!

So basically, I’ve been with my husband six years already I’m 24 and he’s 25th. We don’t have that much money at the moment but I’m trying to work as hard as I can to save so when I become a mom I can be able to stay at home. But last week our condom broke during my ovulation period and I’m afraid I may be pregnant. My husband say that he loves me but he doesn’t want babies at this moment and he want me to drink something to take “care” of it. I don’t want to but he said we don’t have money and he’s not able to give us the life he wants for us. I’m having suicidal thoughts and my anxiety it’s just driving me crazy. I don’t know what can I do to calm down and stop thinking about it cuz it’s driving me crazy .

No need to dig into your subtype if you aren't comfortable with it! I noticed I could have a disorder when I was listening the Jurassic Park audiobook and my brain just went like "WHAT IF YOU CHEATED ON YOUR PARTNER AND YOU DIDN'T KNOW" out of the blue and I was girl wtf 😭 I tried to brush it off and ignore it but we all know that didn't work and without noticing I would still thinking on it

I saw a video of an animal that someone was cleaning or doing something to the intimate region, and I automatically sexualized it and got some strange feeling, something like groin, even the animal looked like it was enjoying itself and I just feel different and disgusting because I know it's not normal, I didn't have zoocd and it's not clear to me how that feeling precedes my thoughts...

Ugh videos like this make my heart drop and my stomach feel sick I have so much anxiety all the time then I will try to distract myself and not watch those videos but then feel like I’m being ihnorant and that maybe those videos are for me I don’t know what to do. I get so much anxiety trying to sit in Gods presence and pray and try to hear him back instead of just talking cuz my brain is everywhere at once and my intrusive thoughts just make me hurry through prayer I know I should go to him for advice first instead of here but I’m struggling and scared

If one more person tells me to go out for a walk to "help me feel better" I am going to poke out my eyes. I know it's not said out of malice but my goodness. How can't people understand that my intrusive thoughts, compulsions and ruminations FOLLOW ME. Instead of feeling shitty inside, now I'm feeling shitty outside where I'm not in a space where I'm comfortable. I'm sick of it. 😟

Im asking this not in a cheeky way. I want to understand. Once you've been diagnosed with ocd and you understanding the condition, the nature of it. The signs and symptoms. You know it's chronic and you will always have it for life. How can it keep tricking you ? Once you know it's tricks. You've seen behind the curtain so to speak, you know what is going on. Surely this is the closest thing we have to a cure ? How can knowledge disappear is my pondering. I want to know for myself. How can you keep spiralling? You've been diagnosed with ocd. You take meds to treat ocd. Your on an ocd online forum. Your talking about ocd. Your in therapy to treat ocd. You do erp to treat ocd. But you dont know if its ocd ? When you know ocd is even called the 'doubting disorder'? Your full of doubts and you have ocd but you dont know if its ocd ??? Its driving me crazy trying to figure this shit out lol Surely at some point logic can win. This is my hope for myself.

Not trying to be rude or cheeky but I seriously have a question. Once you know you have ocd and learn about it, how can you then not know when it's ocd that's happening to you? Once you know all the signs and symptoms and have even had therapy. I dont understand it. I really don't. I guess im asking because I hope this doesn't happen to me. Im hoping through learning il be able to manage it. I know this might annoy some people but I really want to understand.

Hi, I was talking to my boyfriend and he went something along the lines of "I don't want to raise a child here in our country" which is understandable. We're in our twenties and don't expect to adopt for at least other 10 years, but that triggered me so much, my first response was "But what if I want to raise our child here?" because I really don't feel like moving right now and I want to stay close to my family. I told him and he, of course, went like "I mean we'll discuss about it when it's time??" but I feel like I want all the answers NOW. It's not just this, every time I am unsure about something that will happen in our future I get so triggered... is this OCD or a genuine concern? I am so confused and I don't wanna bring it up till I'm sure of its nature.

Hi guys! I’ve been suffering with ROCD pretty severely recently. I can already feel ERP working and the thoughts making me far less anxious, but am experiencing a lot of anxiety about my OCD never going away, being sad forever and my OCD coming back. Does anyone have anything that helps them with this anxiety? I was prescribed Prozac but am so nervous about taking it.