Community

I’ve been having this anxiety for a good couple months, before COVID-19 I never had contamination ocd or really worried of getting sick but since covid started I began to have anxiety of getting it and it just progressively got worse as the time when on I am cautious and use wipes when I touch things like doors and stuff and wear a mask, and I’m also vaccinated but if I get a stuffed nose or I will have a panic attack and not know it so my chest will tighten I will think it’s covid and I will begin to have shortness of breath. This has been an pretty much everyday occurrence and it’s so hard to get away from it when you see it on tv, phone, and apps. I just don’t know what to do it’s really stressful… I would love to hear advice from anyone or even similar situations I would greatly appreciate it!

i’m new to a relationship and i have ocd so i’m thinking i have rocd? can anyone explain what it’s like to have that?

anyone with rocd convince urself u don’t have feelings for ur partner to the point where u lose butterflies for them n start seeing them as a friend? even though u don’t think of them like that at all and u just had butterflies for them yesterday. but u convince urself it’s not real and then lose ur feelings for them????? help

Don’t get aroused by women at all anymore feel numb with my gf and it upsets me cuz I feel feelings when I think about men any advice anyone I’m in such a rough place

Every time I feel “normal,” I obsess over it. “How am I feeling normal if I truly have OCD? I mustn’t have OCD.” It’s so annoying to constantly invalidate myself. In reality, I felt okay because I got a full night of sleep. I felt okay because I was hydrated. I felt okay because I journaled and let my thoughts just be thoughts. Mental illness and healing from it is not linear. Some days—some hours, even—are good, some are bad, some are just okay. I really need to work on just letting myself be. I don’t need to try to constantly psychoanalyze myself, no matter how strongly I feel I have to. I can be self aware without picking apart my every thought and feeling. Being present is enough. I am enough. You are too. Thanks for listening :)

It's so incredibly overwhelming. OCD thoughts and compulsions have attached itself to every aspect of my life. I cannot bear to be without my girlfriend. It's painful. When I'm with her, my brain is quiet and I'm enjoying pure happiness. But when I'm not with her, my brain questions every aspect of our relationship. Sigh, OCD makes everything so confusing.

Can OCD make you feel uninterested in things you like to do or want to do ?

Here's a reminder! All the things you've worried about have either never happened or you've already survived it :)

I hate that before I started struggling with what might be ocd I was questioning my sexuality and questioning being asexual because it just makes it more confusing

my past mistakes, trauma + ocd are killing me right now. i feel like something bad will happen constantly, im always anxious. i never get a break from the anxiety.

does anyone else relate to this? sometimes i say things (with no bad or creepy intent) and then later later on when ocd latches on to it i think about alllll the horrible ways it could be interpreted and i feel so gross. and i worry someone could take it the wrong way and see me as a creep. like my mind doesn’t think dirty when i say things and my mind doesn’t go dark so i don’t even realize how it could be interpreted that way because i don’t even think like that.

My ocd is pretty bad right now and my head is telling me to vent to someone but I know I do that as a compulsion like I’m confessing to something. I feel like I need to do it because it will make me feel better but I know it’s wrong. I’m trying so hard to stay strong and hold it together

I’ve never shared on here before and I’m not really sure why I’m doing it now, but here we are lol. So I’ve been going through SOOCD for over a year or so now, and it hits in waves. Some days are worse than others. Today was a bit of a shaky day. At work, a girl coworker of mine asked, out of the blue, “do you have a boyfriend?” And at the time I just said “haha I wish!” Bc it’s true. I really do wish. I went on to explain how I never had a boyfriend and we laughed about the topic. She told me she was just curious about it. Everything was fine! But as the day went on, I kept getting stuck on why she would ask me that. I’m pretty new to this place so maybe they’ve been trying to “figure me out”. I hate being perceived Bc what if they see something in me that I don’t. Or what if I’m giving off a particular “vibe”. And then of course my mind keeps telling me that I lied to her, and that I don’t want a boyfriend. Or perhaps I sounded too eager by saying “I wish!” So she probably doesn’t believe me. It’s soo much! And honestly ridiculous. Maybe she was just curious about it. Either way, it doesn’t matter why she asked! But I can’t shake this antsy feeling I have. I need her to explain herself more! Why would she ask me that? Oof. Sorry about this one hahaha

I'm Lesbian,but since these disturbing thoughts started some of them are like "do I like guys?","I want to kiss some guys",but like that's not really my thing if you know what I mean,I really dont like guys and this to me is kind of weird Can ocd be like this?

I feel like I'm faking my sexuality. I think I'm queer but idk if I like men or not? Am I faking liking girls??

How to deal with false memory rumination?

been doing good recently with my ocd, i’ve gone thru some sessions of ERP and taking my meds, it has helped me also to stay off this app a lil bit, sometimes been here acts as reassurance :(

People who have made great progress in treatment for SOOCD, do you still feel doubt or have ocd doubtful thoughts when engaging in intimacy with your partner? Part of me knows that I haven't made enough progress with physical intimacy because my ocd has made me avoid it for so long, and that's why I'm so used to immediately having doubts when I do. But another part of me just wishes that the fact that I am trying to engage in intimacy again means I should be able to fully enjoy it too. I just get so defeated sometimes:(

Ocd literally controls your feelings and can make you feel anything! Don’t listen! Don’t trust these feelings these are not yours! Just an annoying neighbor throwing thoughts and feelings along with them at you!

Is it normal to have random spikes of anxiety even without thoughts? And is it also normal that my mind is so used to anxiety being caused by my rocd or soocd that I immediately start to think those thoughts again ?

i just remembered something i did/used to do when i was a kid and i had a mini breakdown in the church but then simply moved on? like i stopped acknowledging it and focused? how? i thought this was ocd? if it were i wouldn't be able to simply stop thinking about it ???

I don't see how this gets better. I don't know if its real attraction feelings. The thought of not liking women makes me so depressed. I didn't have much in life as it is. Some days I see no hope 😞

Does anyone have tips on dealing with the feeling of having to fix everything right away? I’m so tired of frantically trying to find a solution to even the smallest things.

I can’t remember what article I got this from, but I wrote this down this week. I’m going to read this every time I have the urge to compulse: “as a result of repeated strong emotional reactions to urges, they turn into obsessions. Your brain registers that strong emotional reaction as something important or real and you become trapped in OCDs cycle. It’s not having these thoughts that make you think they’re real but your reaction towards them. Your reaction is also the exact reason why they become obsessive because your brain starts constantly reminding you of that “danger” to avoid.” Post any other quotes you have on why OCD feels real!!!

Hey guys, does anyone know how to deal with compulsive thoughts. I’ve been having them for many years now but they’re starting to bother & effect me more than ever now. Any suggestions would be great 😊

I have to admit, as a teen, I thought OCD was “being tidy”. Around the back end of 2019 I realised what I was going through for 5 years, was intrusive thoughts, checking, reassurance seeking, real events, perfectionism, pretty much a buffet of OCD symptoms. I thought I was just depressed and anxious and got diagnosed as such. Funny how I found it out myself online, after all the counselling, talk therapies, self medicating, nihilistic pursuits. Seeing one video on YouTube and the feeling of “that’s exactly what I’m going through”, and being brought to tears after 5 years of torture. It’s debilitating, but you’re all pioneers in helping so many other people recognise it’s no joke, and there could be so many people unknowingly going through the same - and maybe you can find a small bit of comfort in that.

Does anyone feel like they're two separate people?

When I was young, around 9 or 10 years old, i had a dream about me neing with my crush. It was a romantic moment. I liked it so much that when I woke up, I slept again so that I could see the dream again. But now hocd has hit me, I'm 15 now😭😭😭😭😭

******Trigger Warning HOCD ******** I have been struggling with sexual orientation OCD for almost 2 years in November. I have let it consume my life in every aspect and I feel such a loss of identity. I am in a heterosexual relationship with a partner I love so much but these intrusive thoughts are so difficult to comprehend. I think I have always had HOCD internalized fear, but nothing like it has been for the past 2 years almost. I have tried medication, therapy (not OCD therapist-I start that next week) and I am constantly seeking resurance. What I'm asking is, what is the next step? Will this ever end? How can I escape this dark reality?

I have an obsession with promising things to god. Then I exhaust myself praying. I used to be afraid that something might happen after a promise, but now I am no longer. Instead I’m feel like I can no care but still might worry that something might happen afterwords. Also I feel like I anger god with this game . Can anyone help me this?

Does anyone ever have an instructive thought and it passes. Then hours later your like oh I haven’t thought about that instructive thought again in a while and it all comes back🙃

Hi everyone. I need some advice. I use to love doing my own nails and make up. Now when I don't have either on I get really bad anxiety and feel like I look like a male. However, while I'm doing my nails or makeup I get so many intrusive thoughts. Would wearing makeup and doing my nails be a compulsion or an exposure?

Im just sobbing cause i feel like im gay and homophobic and everything i can’t keep doing this

had a terrible day, feel like everything is just going away and am extremely sad. everything is falling apart

I just feel so lost. I was let go of my job today. Have been trying so hard to be positive but things keep going wrong. It’s so hard to have faith.

Guys, I’m listening to Pachabel’s Canon and I’m going to cry. I suddenly just got hope for the future- that someday, I’ll marry someone of my preferred gender, and HOCD will be forgotten, and I can just be HAPPY. Random vent. Apologies :)

So I mostly have pure O I believe. I do some physical compulsions but it’s mostly random thoughts or for instance I’d get thoughts I’ve seem on the internet or from friends as “ proof “ for my fears. Any advice ?

A quote that really helps me when I feel like I have no way out or nothing to live for is “ I came to realise that I didn’t want to die , I just wanted my life as I knew it to end “ . Remember that no matter how much therapy you received… the only person that can change your life is you. Put in the work no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel and you will see improvements in your life slowly but surely.

Does anyone else experience mood swings with their ocd

Need some advice Ill be honest I dont think I have ocd anymore, Maybe I do bc I still obsess on It but It dosent feel like it. I actually think my fears have come true on some level but I feel sharp anxiety and depression on a daily basis, so much so that I might leave my job soon its getting hard to function each day. And since it was ocd that led to all this mess should I see an ocd specialist still? If not who do I talk to? I feel very lost

I feel like I'm ruining my relationship. My boyfriend is so special, but my OCD has really messed up the way I think.

I swear SOOCD makes me the most distressed. I feel the need to have to confess but I know if I confess that is giving into my compulsions. Ugh some days are so much worse than others

Is anyone here dealing with identity issues? I dont feel like myself at all, I feel my perception is different on everything, I feel blocked inside, like Im not present within myself. Any advice please?

Does anyone else’s thoughts just tell them that they are gay and it’s feels so real and you start to believe your gay and you basically start agreeing with your thoughts and thinking they are true. I’ve had many different subtypes but this is by far the most difficult and most believable for me

TOCD doesn’t really affect me until the night. Why do I still believe the intrusive thoughts and have anxiety over them when I should logically understand that they only happen in the night! It’s so frustrating that OCD has so much power over me

guys!! just got out from a psychiatrist appointment and I’ve finally been diagnosed with ocd!! Im kinda relieved but also scared that I lied to him to “seem” like I have HOCD. Im also scared that he was wrong ab my diagnosis, but oh well, Im starting ERP therapy next week!

How do you handle relationship problems with ROCD? I am worried bc lately the spark is gone and I still don’t feel anything… when issues come up it makes things worse…. It truly feels as though I wanna leave… 😞 it hurts bc I start crying when I feel like this or when I am by myself… I talked to my partner about all my worries… I am worried about his physical health so I told him he really needs to start telling his doctor everything that he feels is wrong with him. My partner has decent amount of flaws and I’ve accepted and dealt with them for 11 years but ever since my ROCD kicked started over a year ago things haven’t felt the same since…. I have moments of faith where I know I love my partner but when a serious problem comes up I can’t seem to handle it…

Anyone else here write fanfiction?

Can anyone tell me what exposures for pedophilic OCD might look like? I'm just not really sure what to expect.

Worries about being a P came back but now it's more of a mildly annoyance in the back of my head than an full blown obsession.

You know, ocd is kind of like an itch. The more you itch an itch, the worse it gets, But if you sit with it, it fades away slowly.

How do you guys deal with moving past triggers? I have had the same obsession for about a year and half. But I’ve become really good and pretty much have over come it. But whenever I see something that use to trigger me, I feel like I have to because that’s what I usually WOULD do. Not necessarily what I am feeling.

I haven’t been diagnosed because my therapist says it’s essentially not bad enough but if the thought of having the diagnosis is bugging me 24/7, doesn’t that mean something? It’s not debilitating but it’s making me feel crazy. :( any advice?

is anyone interested in making friends? i’ve always wanted to have someone i can talk to about ocd that actually knows what it feels like to have ocd. i’m 17 going on 18 so if you’re in my age group, wanna b buds? B)

I just learned at weighted blankets really help with ocd.

I've been suffering with my ocd pretty bad bad a long time, but today and the past few days have been much better than usual because I've tried to be mindful and accept uncertainty. It definitely has helped me to feel closer to my boyfriend and more like myself a bit, but I can't help but second guess myself even harder sometimes when I have good days. I'm sure it's another sneaky method of ocd, but it does get me scared and sad sometimes. Sometimes I just want to enjoy a good day or good moment with my boyfriend without immediately after having my ocd tell me that I must be faking it or be a fraud.

😭 I'm screwed up in the head

I hate college we talk about sexuality and repressing one’s sexual desires so much and it’s SO triggering

Hi guys! So I have a question :) so my thoughts keep telling me to break up. This is new for me because normally it would be an urge. But now it feels that I don’t care that they are saying that. They bothered me more so this morning but now that I’ve let them be there it doesn’t seem to be bothering me. Any insight on this?

It boils my blood when people think they are ocd because They use hand sanitizer once in a while or like a clean house. The term is used really loosely at my work and it bothers me. They have no idea what we go through.

I had an insanely rough week. Anxiety that seems to never turn off. The taste of metal in my mouth. Felt like every single thing was a panic attack trigger. I felt like i couldn’t do a single thing…. But I did it. I did things. Even if it took me longer and even if it was harder than I wanted it to be. I did those things. I forced myself to eat. I forced myself to sleep. I forced myself to do yoga and do work. And you know what I started to realize? It’s awesome when we feel good and we can do things and feel confident about it. But it’s even more amazing when we can do it at our lowest. The confidence you gain when you realize that you can still do things when you feel like the whole world is on your shoulders, is priceless. So I’m writing to support anyone right now who is in the trenches. Not only are there better days ahead, but this is your chance to show how much you have in you even when OCD is telling you to quit and stay in your hole.

False memory ocd ??? Have convinced myself of something I didn’t do, ANY ADVICE ?

I think HOCD or ocd in general obsessions often seem so real because we really want to remove the anxiety, and then our brain will try everything it can to get us to agree with the thoughts and our biggest fear of reducing the bad feelings. for example, I have been terrified of having avoidant PD, but after the fear came a desire to get the diagnosis in order to get an answer and calm the anxiety. think ocd in general is so too, that we just want to reduce anxiety and thus our brain will make us agree to take a break

I'm really scared I am a lesbian rn, bc I've never had a celeb crush. NEVER!! not even when I was little, aw man I'm so confused

i’m suffering from depersonalization. idk what to do. i feel like i’m living someone else’s life. i just want to recognize myself again.

Did anyone have these thoughts as kid?!! Or just me? 🙁 I specifically remember saying I can’t be gay but I guess I can be bi…. My brain uses this as proof. I also was terrified and anxious about anything gay related as I was growing up 😞

terrible life tip 75: if you're a chronic procrastinator, sometimes you can put off the ocd by going "that's a problem for future me!!" and then when your brain brings it up in the future going "Oh, it's been too long, it doesn't matter any more, I should move on." I do this...so much.

I’m worried I’m the only one experiencing this level of groinal responses. Like anyone who walks by. Sometimes it even feels like I have feelings for friends

Burnt out. Need tips for regaining some emotion.

Is anyones brain active 24/7 like literally? My brain says everything out loud inside that Im thinking, every thing!!! I just woke up and its still active and running, its so exhausting but It wont stop chattering

Never in obvious places, but I get fixated on picking my skin if I get a pimple, scab, or something relative. I've had what started out as a pimple, turned into an even bigger scab, and because my skin isn't smooth I HAVE TO pick it off. How do I get past this?

I constantly think stuff like "godbi hope I don't look that straight" or "I hope they can't tell I'm straight-" and so on. Like, it's embarrassing?? Ik that just playing into stereotypes but I don't mean to think it, but basically most people wouldn't consider me straight, so ya lol that's freaking me out.

I went to a gsa (gender and sexuality a…something) today at my school (I’m a lesbian). Everyone there seems so secure and relaxed with their sexuality, it made me think my constant battle with my brain is so insignificant. It’s like everything was so nonchalant but this has been the most important thing to me for so long. WHY CANT I BE NORMAL!

Kind of bummed because I’m falling my calculus class and my soocd has transformed into just intrusive thoughts and what I hope are false attractions. I really overwhelmed myself with extracurricular activities this year and I don’t enjoy them that much. I feel like a fraud still and like I’m still doomed to end up liking women one day. I’m still in the process of figuring out what I want for my future and I’m just scared I’ll have to lose my partner and live in a future I don’t enjoy.

For those who are on medication, Am I doing the right thing? I going To be placed on Zoloft. I don’t believe in medication. I been just fine. I was hoping maybe if I can power through my compulsion, I will be fine. I just need someone to tell me what I am doing is fine. I am feeling so amount of guilt, I accidentally relapse.

Is it normal to feel confused with this theme? Like I actually feel confused.

This is going to sound beyond stupid but I’m a little confused on what ruminating is. Like I have heard it a lot on this app, but I have also heard it otherwise and I just don’t really know what it means. I know this is stupid but if someone could let me know, that would be great!

I just wanted to vent for a moment. But I'm so scared of being unable to find love. I'm 31, and have abstained from a LTR over the years, as I was putting too much on partners for validation and reassurance. I might as well have asked them to valiDate me. I am at a point of healing now where I think I am ready to re-enter the dating world but I'm fucking terrified. What if they find out about my intrusive thoughts and find me as disgusting as I find myself? I want to be human, but I've never been able to think of myself as such. What if they make fun of my past like my first real significant other did? I hate these thoughts. They're so terrifying. And I feel so alone. Which is where I tell myself I need to be, even if I don't want to be here. Thanks for listening.

I am losing my mind. I can't make the thoughts and obsessions stop. I fear going to sleep cause my dreams are just the same thing over and over again and i can't do my obsessions in my dream to calm me down. My very self is being torn apart.

Does anybody else get a nice thought or having a good day then say to themselves I haven’t had any ocd thoughts today or i expected an ocd thought there and then that automatically triggers it:/

What happens if I am not anxious enough to do ERP. Am I wasting their time? Should I stop my medication to make sure I will have ocd?

So there is a girl in my class and her hair in like boys and she wear clothes like boys . Before I didn’t knew she was a girl or a boy I was quite curious nothing more I wanted just to know nothing else and my brain was like you are attracted to her and I have a thought if it’s a boy then I will crush on him and I asked my friend and she said she is a girl . I litteraly want to cry because what if I’am attracted to her what if I’am crushing or her and also it’s like I’am looking her more 😭😭 is it because of my fear deep down I know I only love men but why it’s like this please help me !! 😭😭 I don’t want to like girl my brain is controlling me 😭

Today I will not ruminate. I will not pay attention to intrusive thoughts. If I catch myself doing so I will stop immediately. I will recover soon.

To women who has HOCD/SO-OCD: . . . During PMS, do y’all feel like you’re attracted to every same-sex you see? I am currently going through PMS and intrusive thoughts are spiking the worst. I did a self-erp to go out yesterday to do errands, calling girls pretty/ hot (platonically) in my head but rn it felt like I was checking them out. I made an eye contact with this girl and it felt so sexual even tho I keep repeating in my mind “Please stop looking at me, I’m not interest in women, I’m not interested in women…” cause she kept staring at me after. I did felt attracted to 2 guys I made eye contact with, I was happy with it. But now it doesn’t satisfy my ocd, it’s making me feel like I am more attracted to the women. Never been attracted to women nor desire them, yet it feels like I’m lying for saying those things and images of women would pop up as “proof” that I am attracted to them.

I have ROCD and I'm terrified that starting ERP will just convince me of my fears and I'll end up leaving my relationship.

All I actually know is that I don’t desire to be with a woman. OCD has made all of the other what if questions impossible to answer

i just don’t understand why it feels like i have to accept my thoughts as true i don’t understand

Love is more than just a relationship, more than just sexual attraction, more than just a kind act. Love is willing the good of others for their own sake, Love is sacrifice for the benefit of others not your own, Love is where we all come from. God is love. Seek God and you will find love.

I’ve been “owning” my intrusive thoughts and just taking over the thought and allowing myself to take it all the way down to worst case scenario and I just start laughing! I don’t know what clicked in my brain yesterday I was miserable but I did some exercises on this app and they really helped. Thank God for this free app! And thank the good people who made this company you guys are groundbreaking!

at this point in recovery, triggers don’t cause a whole lot of anxiety, but hours later i realize i’ve been ruminating ever since the trigger happened. 😅

Does anyone else with OCD have a fear of googling something bad? For example, I have Harm OCD and sometimes my OCD tells me how easy it would be to Google something like gore or someone being killed, and it stresses me the hell out. It’s a struggle to even go to Google because of these thoughts :(

i feel like ocd has been affecting my empathy but i cant figure out how. i dont understand if i have low empathy or if ive just become so desensitized to events that would usually cause sadness. i feel guilt, i feel guilty all the time. but i dont understand sadness anymore

It’s bad really really bad… I obsess about his flaws way too much! What makes things worse is that I feel somewhat normal and I hate it. It’s like the connection is gone and that I am just winging it… I wanna be with him how I was with the connection… I hate feeling fake!! I hate it! It’s not fair at all… I know that no human being is perfect but why can’t I just stop obsessing!? It’s like I have no feelings for anything what’s so ever…. ☹️ I just don’t feel right at all…

My ocd is hyper fixated on this one friend of mine. We became friends recently, and now I’m afraid of talking to her. I’m afraid that I have a crush on her and that I’m emotionally cheating on my boyfriend. I enjoy talking to her, we share interests. I do think she’s pretty, but I don’t like her or any other woman like that. But what if I do? What if I’m just lying to myself. Anyone else feel like this? :(

Could someone explain depersonalization? I’ve seen it a lot recently on this forum. Thank you :)

Vent I’m having a really hard time coming in here as a compulsion. I feel like I’m making that up. But I think it’s true. I just have no one to talk to OCD about. I could talk to my best friend, but I feel so ashamed about my thoughts. This is the only place that I have felt safe in 20 years (maybe an exaggeration, but it feels true). For the first time in my life, I /know/ that other people feel the way that I do. And I just want to feel safe so badly. So I’m stuck here. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been coming here because I don’t have therapy until next Thursday. My counselor is trained in EMDR, and we thought that’s what I needed to treat my childhood trauma. She has no idea that I think I have OCD because I found out like a week ago (after I already went to therapy). I don’t think she knows anything about ERP. I’m scared to lose her. She already knows about some of my fears, just not the fact that I think they’re OCD. I hate this. It feels like it has to be a secret. When I thought I just had anxiety, I didn’t mind telling people. Now the thought of telling people I have OCD feels awful. I already told my bestie, and she sympathized and told me that she thought the same thing after a previous conversation about my childhood struggles (we’re both psyc majors)..she just didn’t think it was right to tell me. When does this end? When do I stop obsessing over every thought in my brain??? I’m so tired. I slept almost all day. This is truly exhausting. I think I’m getting worse now that I’m aware of what’s wrong with me. I thought it was helping me, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Has anyone done the self guided ERP?

When you guys say to not push away an intrusive thought, what do you mean?! Like just think about it?

something that should be super triggering just happened and i can't even freak out about it??? nor ruminate? is this even OCD at this point?

there is a guy who i’m attracted to as of lately and it’s been really difficult. there’s a voice in my head contradicting every thought or feeling.