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Why do these OCD thoughts keep coming back even though you don’t want them too?? How come when they come back they get the best of you most of the time??

Do you ever watch crime shows and then can’t enjoy them anymore because you suddenly think “that seems like something I would/want to do” and then you can’t watch it anymore? I love criminal minds but it triggers me so bad.

So I’ve been thinking of taboos and why they’re wrong, and the only one I can’t completely get behind is incest. I still find it rly disgusting and have absolutely no desire to partake in it, but hypothetically, if all parties were consenting adults, and there wasn’t a power imbalance (such as with a parent and their kid, even if the kids an adult, or with siblings or cousins with a significant age gap where one would have looked after the other), I don’t think it’d be morally wrong per se, or at least rn I can’t think of a reason for it to be. But this is kind of freaking me out, I want there to be a reason for it to be wrong, but I can’t think of one. I’ve searched all over the internet, and they’ve all kind of come to the same conclusion, if they’re consenting adults without a power imbalance than it’s not morally wrong, even if it’s gross. But that can’t be it right? Like there has to be a reason? And I feel bad writing this cus I don’t know if it’s ocd or not and I don’t want to look like I support incest, I find it gross and I still don’t think it’s right or good, I’m just not sure if it’s necessarily morally wrong in every case. Help I’m sort of freaking out again.

i feel like i dont deserve love i am a monster and i just don't deserve to be loved but i dont even know if the things that are making me believe that are real but i am just so sad so sad i just wish i could be normal

TW - Suicidal thoughts Well, I called the 988 number for the Suicide and Crisis line last night. I went to the car to do it because I know that my mom would overreact if she knew I was thinking like that. She has overreacted about that kind of stuff before. But it turns out she saw me in the car and knows I was talking to someone on the phone, she doesn't know who and she was asking me about it just now. The car was the most private place -- the walls in our house are paper thin. Maybe I'll just have to only text them (if possible) and/or sit in the back of the car with the tinted windows and with the porch light off. I guess I'm just venting here. But it is pretty stressful.

I think my past tells me I've always been wrong and just kinda didn't experiment to know because I never wanted to be gay. The groinal responses I get to real life people are more common and more than the feeling I get for the opposite sex though I do enjoy the opposite sex responses when they do happen. they may not be as strong so I should give up any fantasies that it'll ever lead to a real relationship.

I noticed ocd is about having intrusive thoughts. But does OCD come in any other way? If so can y’all give me examples?

i cant live through this if it is like that everyday

I feel like I am so deep in this rabbit hole of confessing to my boyfriend about anything regarding cheating or finding people attractive or having thoughts about them. Can anyone please give me tips on how to stop because it’s really starting to affect him

Hi all. Bare with me as it is 5:30 AM and I just woke up with lots of anxiety. If something doesn’t make sense I apologize. Within the last few months work has been unbearable for me, but it hasn’t always been this way. I work 40 hours a week at a small town bank, I’m a people person, so I used to not mind it. Of course I was never bouncing out of bed thrilled to go to work, I mean who really is? I started to get really negative and just lazy. I realized that but just thought I just really hated it. It wasn’t till a day when my thoughts were racing and swirling that I realized I didn’t really hate it that much, it’s just my OCD! This summer has been hard for me cause I started therapy and really trying to WORK THROUGH my problems rather than suppressing them. I’ve been a rollercoaster of emotions. We also just moved into our first home this year so working 40 hours a week and having to come home and keep a house clean is a lot. I value my relaxing time so when I can’t do that I get very overwhelmed. I don’t know if this falls into my ROCD, my boyfriends family all works very hard, him included. They all value ambition and hard work. I’m thinking that that the stress maybe could be from thinking that if I just quit my job he’ll think I’m lazy and leave? Also with building our first home this year it brought on a lot of ROCD, and I think this is just common sense however after working 40 hours a week I cannot be the only one cleaning our home. It’s a lot! It’s a constant argument and I always threaten to put my 2 weeks in which I always feel shitty about after because I feel like I’m manipulating him (he NEVER tells me that I am, he just doesn’t listen lol) I just know this is related to my OCD in some way but I can’t place where it fits. It’s so hard because it really puts a damper on my mental health all together and I don’t want to be a miserable person at work. This is just a part of my OCD I haven’t been able to get ahold of yet. If anyone has experienced this I would love some advice. I might not LOVE my job, but I NEVER hated it like I do right now and I’ve been stuck for a bit now. Thank you and have a great Monday :)

I feel like a sack of potatoes. I can't do anything without getting cripplingly depressed. It feels like I'm unable to do anything these days because of that.

Man, this is killing me. I’ve had very form of ocd I think from POcD, false memory, socd, hocd, perfectionism, contamination, existential and the one that trips me up the most is health ocd. All the stress OCD gives me causes me to feel some pretty weird sensations in my head and lots of depersonalization. I constantly think I’m developing Alzheimer’s, brain cancer, or really just anything else. BUT these fears get a hold of me so well, I actually become forgetful, stutter, experience blurry vision, painful migraines……. And so I get symptoms of the diseases I fear. Any advice this is killing me?🥺

So I (16 f) haven't been diagnosed with it but I think I have OCD. Specifically POCD and real event OCD. I did something in 2021 that I regretted then and I regret even more now. I read some fanfiction that involved incest and minors and I hated it. I hated it bc it was disgusting, bc it went against my morals, and bc I read it. I was bored but I still wish I didn't read them. And since April of this year, I have been suffering bc I read them. I'm scared I'm a pedo and I really don't want to be one bc I don't want to do the things they do to kids. I Don't even find kids attractive but I get groinal responses and I'm scared that I actually do. I suffer from intrusive thoughts everyday. Even though this flair up started in April, I've been suffering from it for a couple years. But nowadays I'll be lucky to go a hour without them. I posted a similar post like this on Reddit a month or two ago and all of the comments said I wasn't a pedo and that it was POCD but I'm spiraling. During those months I would be scared I was a pedo and not be scared bc I knew it was ocd back and forth but this time it's different. I'm scared that I'm actually a pedo but I don't want to be. I don't like the thoughts and I don't want to do anything to kids. I know people say that 'if you were a pedo you would like the thoughts." Or "if you were a pedo you would know you are." And that's helped me but now I feel like I could just be in denial. I tried to not let it bother me but my brain tells me that if I don't react, that means I like the thoughts. I have younger cousins and a nephew and I hate being around them bc I'm scared that I'll get attracted to them. I hate when my younger sister hugs me bc I get scared that I'll get attracted. There has been multiple times where I just went in my bathroom and just broke down crying. And I hate crying but I cried more than I usually do. It's gotten to the point where multiple times I felt suicidal and honestly I feel like that now. But I usually got over it and realized it was just OCD but I'm scared that it's not. And I feel like if it was just thoughts then maybe it would've been better but it's the fact that I read those even though I hated it and was disgusted by it. I just really don't know what to do. I'm sorry that this post is too long.

I know we are not supposed to thought-stop, but can we tell ourselves to stop checking or stop ruminating with out the OCD cycle continuing?

Hello guys, Im new here and seeking for advice. Im in a relationship with an amazing guy. I love him so much and that’s why my ocd and anxiety are latching onto my connection with him. He was staying over at my place and 2 events happened (something to do with his disease and he had an allergic reaction to food) that caused my stress and anxiety levels to be higher than normal. Followed by a night of bad sleep made things worse. I became very alert and was easily triggered. Something occurred that I completely miscalculated and we talked about it but my anxiety was through the roof at this point. I got these disturbing images of me hurting him in my head. I have had intrusive thoughts in the past but it didn’t affect me this much. Because of the lack of sleep and my high anxiety level made me so afraid of myself that I made the decision to sent him home. I have cried so much since that happened. I feel so bad for having that thought. I love him so much. Our communication is very healthy so I’ve told him about this the day after (why I sent him home). I couldnt do it in the moment because i didnt want to make the situation worse. We werent in a fight when i sent him home but both emotional and hugging each other. I have the feeling that my anxiety and ocd have won the battle by sending him home (avoidance). But i care so much for him that I didn’t want him to be at risk (thats what my mind tells me, i know its showing me disturbing images the opposite of what i want). Im in the early stage of having this type of OCD but I don’t want to lose him. But for me the only way to get this relationship to work is to get rid of this. Can anyone relate? Like, having intrusive thoughts about your partner? I know its latching on to the things you love the most and I hate it so much. Thanks in advance :)

Fearing that I'll somehow resent or blame my children due to harm ocd thoughts. My kids are my world, they always have been for 20 plus years. Just started this 2nd round of harm ocd 2 months ago. First one was 18 years ago. 18 yrs ago was the first round of harm ocd involving my kids and then 18 yrs later,almost 19 yrs later, my 2nd bout with it and it feels like the first time all over again. What if I blame my kids, what if I avoid them on purpose. 2 of my kids are grown adults. My 3rd is 13,but somehow my brain is still seeing them as kids. It's amazing what the brain is capable of. I know I love my children with all my heart and soul. How can I even be questioning this? How can a father of 3, thats been a dad for 22 years start questioning something that I know is impossible. Very frustrating.

im relapsing into overthinking, falling into the rabbit hole. I'm going to turn off my brain now and dismiss every concern. I'm not going to address anything. I will act as if this triggering episode never happened, and with that the rabbit hole that I fell into. I'm going to drown the thoughts.

a few months ago i saw my situationship having a sexual conversation with their friend and it’s been really bothering me ever since. i constantly think that when i’m not in the room that they’re talking like that with them or he’s using little loop holes in our agreement to get by doing it and it comes up often when i see them just texting normally. i can’t move past this incident and it always comes back when i’m finally getting comfortable again with our relationship and feeling better. i can’t figure out if this is something that still bothers me or if im just using it to self sabotage my relationship with him.

I suddenly remembered that I didn't have pocd my whole life. I had simmetry and order obsessions, contamination obsessions when I was just a kid, including perfectionism obsessions when playing the violin (that reappeared in highschool when making the perfect school notes). Then it evolved into pure ocd/(emotional contamination from bad figures)when I was in middle school when I started having intrusive images and unwanted associations that made me feel impure and dirty, stuck in my head and feeling violated. Moral scrupolosity when I was in highschool like the fear of being racist or not feeling enough disgust/intrusive thoughts like "this is not that bad" when reading news abt crimes, afraid of being a psychopath, of being a bad person, (linked in part to the growing cancel culture and exposure to twitter), excessive moral scrupolosity about anything, self saboraging intrusive thoughts etc. Then pocd for the last 2 years, after an immense triggering episode in summer, the date being september 7th 2021; going through the many aspects of this specific theme: from the fear of being falsely accused and not being believed, to being triggered by anything related to that theme, to intrusive thoughts and images, to compulsive note-taking (addressing every little thing like ocd episodes and intrusive thoughts), staying up the entire night to write down on my notes app every single thought concerning ocd, especially confessing the intrusive thoughts/episodes, to doubting over my whole identity, to false attraction, to staring, to compulsive self-harming and depression; to starting to get slowly better with some major episodes here and there, hopefully fewer and fewer. I forgot abt all my obsessive tendencies since I was just a little kid; so it's probably true that it is all "just" ocd, I hope. Pocd is just one of the many themes I had since I was little, it doesn't define me, it doesn't have to feel like my whole reality anymore nor it is linked to my identity. It's just a theme. I can have a normal life. I'm not ocd.

I really need some understanding about embracing uncertainities I am not able to underatand it completely I am not able to persue that...can anyone help!?