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I did an embarrassing thing that my brain keeps torturing me about. I can’t figure out a good response that doesn’t sound like an excuse or something like “everyone makes mistakes” or “I am only human”

Have doing exposures these few days as I need to go yo the university and I return home totally collapsing and crying, why my mind doesn’t want to release the thoughts?

Writing this bc idk if anyone else experiences this? I have been having OCD intrusive thoughts related to my 2 cats. They are 7 and 11 years old and I am terrified of them passing away one day. I grew up with them but now that I’m 25 and have my own apartment, I took them with me so I’ve been spending a lot more time with them recently and I’ve grown attached to them. I have intrusive thoughts that tell me “what if you didn’t completely lock your door and you get home from work and they’re not in your apartment anymore”. My therapist told me to record myself locking the door as a way to prove to myself that I did it but this doesn’t help me. I also bought an automatic cat feeder with a camera on it so I can check in on them at any time but I try to limit myself because I don’t want to obsess over checking it. I also had to use Drano on my shower drain last night and felt so paranoid that it was going to make my cat sick bc he likes to lay in the shower sometimes. Meanwhile, I ran water like the directions said to so that it would all be washed away. Just curious if anyone else experiences these intrusive thoughts related to their animals. Living alone, just me and my 2 cats, has caused these thoughts to increase. And I really worry for myself for the day that they pass away.

I'm from Spain, struggling speaking a language that is not my native language about things I never talk about. I worked on this with Woebot before, an AI app that is like a therapist, but it stopped working in my region. Lately I have had problems again because of some changes in my life and now I don't know how to recover this time.

I’m Moriah, I just downloaded this app and I’ve been experiencing some pretty intense feelings and I’ve created pretty bad habits. Not too long ago I was having a conversation with a friend and what we were talking about made me realized that when I was young I was touched by a close friend. It became a central thought and I fell into a deep depression because of it. I felt dirty, betrayed, confused, angry, and lost. I had told no one but the friend that I talked to about it. I had anxiety and depression diagnosed before this and was hospitalized at one point for an attempt before I even knew about the sa( around 6 or 7). I didn’t understand myself and who I was. I didn’t know who I wanted to be I was scared and lost. my dad and mom weren’t very helpful around this time because I would refuse the medication my doctor had prescribed. I didn’t know why I did but I hated my therapist and I hated my parents for the extra attention I was getting after the hospital. But at the same time I needed someone to try and help me understand what I was going through. They gave up giving me medication, my doctor never followed up and my therapist never asked for another appointment. Even though I was the one that rejected all of it I felt abandoned and forgot about. I did every now and then when it got bad ask my mom to schedule an appointment with my old therapist and she said she would, but she never did. A couple years go by and I give up. Around this time was when I found out about the sa. and I eventually told my dad. My moms getting me back into therapy and I think I understand myself a little better but I still can’t seem to grasp who I am and what my personality is. Everyone I tell looks at me like I’m genuinely insane. my parents don’t understand I even got bold enough to say something about it. nobody understands and I’m hopeful someone on here does. That someone else went through the same thing I did. And feels similar to how I do. It’s so hard to explain how I feel and this is my last resort. But I feel slow and stupid, that everyone knows something is wrong with my and my friends are only there out of pity. all because of how I think about myself. I started pulling at my hair. And I do when I get anxious or (now) when I focus, also sometimes subconsciously I’ll catch myself doing it. I don’t know how to stop and I need someone that understands.

I've been told before that I have a "victim mentality" due to the OCD. I disagree with that statement and here is why: • I still fight through my anxiety every single day. I fight OCD like my life depends on it. I do things & have learned how to function even though I'm in public or socializing & all I wanna do is go home & scream. But I can't do that. I have to fight to be healthy, as all of us do. • When I have TRULY been panicking or grieving (my dad passed almost 8 years ago, & it's been very hard for me to "get over"), I'm told I'm "living in the past". But...you don't just "get over" a loss like that. You don't. You just learn how to live around it. • I have placed myself in some bad situations because of my lack of self-love/self respect and THAT is my fault. What isn't my fault is how another person treats me. That is on them. Not on me. My responsibility is only how I choose to respond. But, in essence, I have been told numerous times that I have a "victim mentality" and I'm confused as to what people mean when they say that. Yes, I have put MYSELF through the ringer; but what the other person did to me was THEIR action. I didn't cause them to do what they did. • I live in poverty (as most of us do, especially in this economy) & everyone thinks everything is so simple. "Oh, just go trade your car in for something better!" "Oh, just pay off $2k for a government grant to go to college, then you can go!" No. That includes money I don't have. I don't HAVE $2k laying around to go and do whatever with. (I should have listened & saved my money when I turned 18, and that part IS my fault, but I digress). Has anyone else ever experienced shame or guilt related to their OCD & how, sometimes, it's hard to function? Or just be a typical "adult". Because we're not typical. It doesn't make us bad, or bad people, because we aren't. But as I'm growing older I'm finding that more and more often this world & the way it's run just isn't built for people with mental illnesses or OCD.

i just need words of encouragement. it’s been too much in my head today. i can’t ever be in the moment with family.

Hi guys :) I am new to NOCD after seeing an ad for it on tik tok and am really hoping this app helps me find ways to help my OCD thoughts. Growing up, I always thought OCD was limited to being overly neat and tidy but it turns out, after going undiagnosed for 25 years, I have been diagnosed with OCD based on my obsessive thoughts. It feels as though I am unable to turn my brain off when I’m obsessing about something - tonight I was that I realized I forgot my pair of my favorite leggings at my parents house and wanted to wear them to work tomorrow. My obsessive thoughts took me down the rabbit hole “what if the dog eats them” and other ridiculous thoughts. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I also exhibit relationship OCD, constantly thinking “am I with the right person”. This usually happens after me and my partner hang out. During the hangout, I feel fine but afterwards, I begin obsessing over every little detail from the hangout and it feels like I have no control over my thoughts. If you have any similar OCD qualities to the ones I described, feel free to comment and we can be in touch. I don’t know anyone who has OCD and am looking to find people who experience similar things to me and get through these thoughts together.

I’ve had it a lot lately. Exhausted. Makes me depressed bc I doubt everything exists and I’m like great. I will be abandoned by people I love bc I have no certainty with the things around me and including in myself. It’s like I no longer know the truth bc I don’t trust myself with all the ocd stuff 😭. Def makes me feel like everything is an illusion and I refuse to believe that as I desire to be a Christian. Not into the whole new age stuff and it breaks my heart that my mind is taking me to those places and I want to understand God but all this pushes me away bc I feel so out of my mind.

Am I the only one that feels immense guilt about my past? It makes me feel so alone and so lost. It always leads to me trying to com-pulse it which results in temporary relief, but it always comes back and is always in the back of my mind. It leads to me having suicidal thoughts because I can’t take the pain anymore. It feels like I’m trapped in my mind and in my thoughts and the only way to escape is through suicide. I really hate myself. I also cut myself because it relives the mental pain. I lift weights and put my body through hell running which ik isn’t healthy but it makes me feel better for some time. The thoughts tend to go away. Something about it is comforting? Idk how to explain it. I feel so messed up and alone. Just gotta keep trying and keep pushing.

I have a question. has anyone tried EMDR therapy I just read that this is good for anxiety, anger ,PTSD, depression, disassociation,and Even treats OCD. If you have tried it what was you're experience.

Hi guys! I believe I have an OCD since I was around 12. I remember then I had a lot of intrusive thoughts about religious things and I had a counting compulsion (I thought that If I don't count to 8 in specific moments, someone gets hurt) During later years it was really changing - I stopped being religious, so the OCD theme also stopped. Then I had I reckon SOCD, harm OCD and many others. But for know my main topic is ROCD. But because of the fact that this is my main intrusive thoughts topic I start to have this awful thoughts that this is not OCD, I'm just with the wrong person and I need to accept this fact. This is really struggling for me, because i really love my bf and Im in the healthy realtionship but Im so tired of having this kind of thoughts, sometimes I cannot sleep because of them. Also the fact that I've never been diagnosed (I cannot go on theraphy right now unfortunately) is another trigger because I have thoughts that I dont really have OCD, I just making this up, because I cannot accept the truth. Is there someone with similar experiance? Or maybe someone who can have advice for me?

hi i hope everyone is well!! i’m a bit upset atm. so i have had pocd for a while now and one of my biggest fears is happening rn. my younger cousin has to sleep with me as her parents are away and she said she wants to stay with me as she feels less homesick with me which is so adorable and it shows she feels safe with me. but im so scared of false memory ocd playing up and the what ifs. like i’m petrified to go into my room rn nc the thoughts are “everyone is asleep what if you do something” “what if you do something and don’t remember” or “what if you do something when you’re half asleep or asleep”. it’s almost 2am here and ive locked myself in the bathroom. im actually really nervous. she hasn’t slept in the same room as me since 2022. 😭😔 like my body feels like it needs to be tensed up and that i cannot relax. any advice will be appreciated

Does anyone have any advice for dealing with rumination? I’ve been ruminating on every possible thing I have done and have potentially done wrong but don’t have clear evidence or memory of for so long now and it’s so difficult to deal with. I’m hoping to get a therapist this year, it’s so hard feeling like a horrible person but not being able to do anything about it until I can seek help.

Hello, I'm 30 and I've suffered from OCD for about half my life. It's been different kinds throughout my life but for the past few months I've had a very debilitating fear that I know is completely absurd but I have been having a lot of trouble with it. (Involving bodily fluid ocd) I don't know where this really stems from but I have this fear that someone is breaking into my home when I'm not there to contaminate my soaps and shower products with semen. It sounds so dumb even writing it out but I can't get over this feeling. It's caused me to spend so much money on new products so I can ensure those things are not contaminated. Why would anyone do that? Not break in to steal things but just to contaminate my things so when I shower with those products it gets all over me, then I feel disgusting. I fully understand how ridiculous that concept is but that's OCD for you. It's also caused my to do way more laundry which is very expensive in an apartment building. I inspect my soaps for anything that could resemble sperm/semen and I often throw things away and it makes me feel terrible doing that. This is the first time getting this out in the open because I'm too embarrassed to admit it to anyone, and unfortunately I don't currently have access to professional help (not on medications either).

Ok so I’m freaking out right now guys this has really got me , I’m reading up about urges etc on the internet and like how people with harm ocd might want to harm themselves , so what if u have pocd do u urge to want to do something sexual with a child ? Surely then that does make you a pedophile or are the urges compulsions ? I’m so confused and scared about this

TW for ppl with existential or moral ocd! 🙏 So about a month ago I got a random thought in my head, “what if morality is a made up concept? what if love, compassion, goodness, kindness are all made up concepts?” Dang, those were (and are) things that were very important to me and my biggest fear was to become someone amoral! So i got anxious, and i couldn’t shake the thoughts off and the more i fought them the louder they got. I cried at school bc i didn’t want to feel that way, i felt like everything was fake and that it was all made up which scared me to no end, and i also felt like this was the end of the world, i was losing my morals, etc. like i didn’t deserve anything and i was just wanting to go back to normal. And i always feel like i have to fight the thoughts, i need to prove them wrong right now or i will believe them! And now they are mixed in with harm thoughts, checking to see certain immoral scenarios and how i react to them.. if im not disgusted enough maybe i don’t believe in morality anymore or something and i will become a bad person! Doubts flood in all the time bro idk what to do anymore but im starting therapy tmr.. Does this seem like OCD or am i going crazy? 😭 Has anyone gone through this?

I feel like giving up. Idk what to do anymore. All of these intrusive thoughts idk if they are real or not. I wouldn’t ever hurt my daughter but I feel like I can’t be a father or am capable of it anymore. I’m so down and out of it.

I made a friend recently online and we get along great/talk everyday/etc. But today they told me they've got like an internet stalker who doxxed them and knows where they live and has threatened them and stuff and won't leave them alone. Anyway, not long after someone messaged me saying my friend is actually 12 and is super racist or something, and that they have proof and need me to believe them. I dont interact with minors, it triggers my POCD. Secondly, I'm anxious because I don't want to get involved in drama at ALL. and I'm scared of just blocking them because I'm afraid I'll get doxxed or harassed. My anxiety is really bad, I don't know. I compulsively want to just cut off this friend but they told me they don't have friends because of this so I feel bad. Besides, I do like them as my friend but. I dont know. I'm not built for this kind of thing I just want to be safe.

I’ve been having this thing going on where I can’t remember if I did something and I retrace every step and everything I did. And the something that I “did” is an intrusive thought. For example, last night my father in law was outside until the early am and I had an intrusive thought like what if I went out there with him and we did “stuff” and I just don’t remember. I don’t know why my ocd is obsessing over this, this isn’t the first time. I don’t know what to do ): I know I would never do something like that so why is this happening? I can’t stop rethinking everything to make sure nothing happened. Please leave your thoughts