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Does anyone else’s ocd really not fit into subtypes the thoughts are all random ?

I’m getting anxiety around this coworker because I think I’ll get a crush on them and also with other guys I get anxiety that I will get a crush on them and thus, emotionally cheat on my partner. But then the anxiety is making me think I like them even though I know that’s not true. This only happened after I got really anxious that I felt an attraction towards someone even though all I said was that they were cute in appearance in my head. Now I’m deeply scared that my fears will come true because I don’t want anyone else. I only want to stay with my boyfriend ideally for the rest of my life.

It’s unbelievable how isolating OCD can be. Lately I’ve just been really bumming out and feeling like nobody on this earth knows who I really am. It gets very tiring feeling like you have to act. I’ve put on a happy face for a very long time and it’s just exhausting. I’m thankful that this app exists and is a place where we can all share our thoughts and feelings and be heard. To anyone else out there suffering in silence, my heart goes out to you.

Me and my bf r completely the opposite he’s always going out with friends and busy with work doing stuff and im always at home doing nothing and sometimes since he’s so busy he cant answer the phone I get so many random scenarios of him just cheating on me and just doing awful things that I know he wouldn’t do and has reassured me about and I believe it but I keep getting these thoughts when he doesn’t reply and it makes me so anxious and I don’t wanna sound crazy by bringing it up because I do trust him when it comes down to it it’s just intrusive thoughts that keep telling me he’s doing these things

Just watched a tiktok of someone realising they are gay after 5 years in a straight relationship. Its really triggered me, my ocd is now telling me that’s me. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and he is my best friend as well as boyfriend. Saying that tiktok made them realise they were gay and they never knew before. I hate this ocd so much anyone else get severely triggered by this.

Upset with myself and frustrated to the point I felt like punching myself. Why isn't there someone to talk to when life shits in your corn flakes? Why not have support for someone so they don't have to spiral to this point. I haven't had this level of frustration since before reaching out to find a therapist. Why do I have to feel like that again?

I've been wondering this for months: Is it possible to have ROCD if you've never been in a relationship and hardly/don't experience romantic/sexual attraction? Personally, I love daydreaming and writing about romance and love and even sex. However, if I so much as *think* someone might be interested in me, I internally freak out and get very nervous/scared of what might happen. Even if someone holds my hand, puts their arm around me, and god forbid- *asks me out*- I immediately have the intense need to get away as soon as possible, and to break down and cry out of fear. I'll start shaking and intensely worrying about said person showing interest in me. I just get so scared of embarrassment and upsetting people that I need to get away immediately. How can I keep going with it if I never seem to feel any amorous attraction to people? This doesn't stem from any history of abuse; I'm not sure where this comes from. I never had crushes growing up, I still don't feel attracted to anyone, I don't date (nor have I ever dated), never had a desire for a relationship at any point in my life until very recently, and never felt the need to seek one out either. I'm a very lonely person and wish I could have a relationship, but I'm so terrified of the concept of it in reality. That's why for the past 7 years, I've identified as aroace, but for about 2 years I've been constantly questioning if I *actually* am. I developed a crush on an unattainable guy, and didn't want him to know I was aroace, because what if someday, by some miracle, he actually liked me back?? I didn't want him to think the door was shut and locked. (He does know I'm aroace and has been supportive of it) But what if in the future it turns away other extremely rare people I feel interested in? It feels like a lot of social anxiety, and a lot of fear of upsetting people. What do I do if I suddenly don't want to talk to someone anymore? What do I do if people tease me about having a partner? What do I do if I don't want a second date? What do I do if they try to kiss me? What if I'm being too nice? What if they know I'm faking? How do I know if I'm attracted to them? What does that feel like? How do I say I'm not interested without looking like the bad guy? How do you even date someone? How does that work? It's going to be so embarrassing if my parents find out— I'll never hear the end of it! All these fears form in my head the SECOND I think someone is interested in me. So after realizing I have OCD, I wondered several months later if this fear and avoidance surrounding relationships/attraction might be tied into it somehow. I think a lot of times about how I might just be broken, and how I'm just incapable of feeling romantic love for other people. I wish I wasn't like this, and I wish I could just experience those things like someone normal for my age. I always said that never having been in a relationship is a good thing, because I don't have any mistakes to regret, but the older I get, the more I go back on that word. I just keep getting lonelier, but never feel any interest in anyone. At this point, I don't think I'll ever have someone love me, because I can't seem to NOT be very upset by people showing interest in me. Am I just incapable of actually liking anyone?

I feel like OCD is slowly trying to take away everything I love and scare me. I had a thought when I went to eat that my ocd would latch onto my food and scare me so I wouldn’t eat again and it scares me. My anxiety is pretty bad right now I’m just exhausted from this it’s a struggle daily

I made a mistake that means I need to throw out 3/4 of a pizza. Super frustrated and I don't have an outlet. And I feel like I can't move forward with out resolving this issue by throwing it out. But I need reassurance to do that. I just feel stuck.

Just made a stupid mistake and now I need to throw out 3/4 of a pizza. And I have no outlet to talk to. Just frustrated.

I’m a woman in my 20’s. I always thought I didn’t want kids but as I get older I’m starting to feel like it is something I’d actually want to consider in the future maybe. There are 4 reasons though that make me feel like I can’t have children. 1. Feeling like there is something wrong with me, like what if I’ve done unforgivable things, what if I’m a freak. My husband and family would tell you this is OCD, but I couldn’t tell you that right now as I’m in the midst of feeling like everything is real. If I truly am an irredeemable freak then I can’t be a mother. 2. I am afraid to pass on my OCD and autism to children. I do believe people with OCD and autism can live full lives and I know because of my own experience I’d hopefully be able to spot it early and know how to get them help but what if they suffer the way I have 3. My safety anxiety and fear is bad enough when it comes to my family, I worry myself to death that they might get seriously ill or in an accident etc, how will I manage coping with those fears with my own children, especially when there is such an added responsibility to these anxieties because I’m the one looking after them. 4. What if pregnancy and postpartum messed with my hormones and brain so much that my OCD was triggered into an unliveable state. What if I’m susceptible to postpartum psychosis because I’m already mentally ill I hate what this illness has taken from me, I’ve spent most of my life feeling guilt and shame and unease, not knowing if I’m good or bad, doubting if I even have OCD. It breaks my heart that my future is going to be ruined too

Hi friends! Has anyone actually beat this disease once and for all? What’s your best hack or secret? ❤️

I keep getting thoughts like ‘what happens if it isn’t OCD’. Recently I keep getting random thoughts that pop into my head that happened YEARS ago that somehow ‘prove my ocd wrong and that i am gay’, these are memories that i haven’t thought about for years and when i did i didn’t think anything of them because i didn’t think that it proved i was gay because that never crossed my mind but now my mind is making into this whole thing and it’s like proof that it’s real. I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD or anything so this constant doubt is debilitating. How do you know if it’s OCD? I do have history of repetitive behaviours as a child but not fully fledged OCD but in the last couple of years this obsession that i might be gay has been debilitating. I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this. I just want to enjoy life without a constant voice in my head.

Hey everyone! I just have a quick question regarding this specific part of OCD recovery. I have seen a lot of people say “learn to move towards our values” after experiencing intrusive thoughts, images, urges, sensations etc.. I do not seem to understand what this means, as I know that OCD targets our values and makes them seem that they are not. But what is meant by moving towards our values?

Hi everyone, I have a question for anyone else with ROCD. I recently established, with the help of my therapist, that I need to stop talking about my intrusive thoughts to my husband so much, because I’m just ruminating out loud. Do you all even tell your partners when you’re struggling, or do you keep it to yourselves?

Today I have been having an okay day. Nothing too bad has happened till I started to get into a deep thought. I started to think about when I was younger. Everything was fine till I started to think about something that happened when I was little( I was about 10). I did something really bad and I haven’t thought about it for awhile. During this moment In my life I did something really disgusting. Now I feel disgusted and uncomfortable, but idk why I did it. It definitely has triggered my OCD. Now I’m scared. I hope I was just a kid who didn’t understand what they were doing. My anxiety is so bad right now.

My rocd is more partner focused, my partner has made a handful of mistakes that have hurt me/made me lose some trust (not cheating though) My ocd picks up on lots of new things to worry about, but when there isn’t something new to worry about it allllways goes back to this handful of things my partner has done and I ruminate despite having a lot of answers. Maybe it is because of the uncertainty that I don’t know every little detail? A lot of the reason I think my ocd comes back to latch onto this handful of things is OTHER PEOPLES opinions. Like I’ll see in a comment section “this is a red flag” “leave if they do this” “you cannot trust them ever if they lie” etc. and my ocd likes to bully me with these sort of comments and play them in my head so I panic/ruminate. Is constantly going back and fourth with this handful of things my partner has done a sign of my ocd attacking me because of the uncertainty? And is it blowing it out of proportion? I try and tell myself that no relationship would exist if there wasn’t making mistakes/ doing things wrong & forgiveness. If everyone left from a handful of mistakes big or small there would be no long term relationships is that true?

Have had it since I was a kid, barricading my closet doors to prevent monsters from getting out, to relationship OCD that destroyed 1 relationship, to fear of disease, to driving OCD. Pretty much anything to do with uncertainty will trigger anxiety. Sometimes the way the sun sets, or how rooms are lit, to certain colors, and even sounds will trigger anxiety for no reason at all. Im a big energy drink person, and that does not help, especially if you’re in a weak point in OCD, so caffeine and stimulants not good. Warning l!! Alcohol will temporarily help, but if you are an alcoholic like i am, it can ruin your life and make OCD 10x worse. Going through withdrawal is like OCD anxiety x1000. Almost 4 years sober now but I can tell you there is light… If its not happening right in front of your face, it’s not real, and it’s OCD! In hindsight 98% of my themes were never true, or the odds of it happening were .00001. ERP is the way out. It takes a lot of courage but it will pay off.

Im so sick and tired of wasting my life on pointless intrusive thoughts and obsessions this stuff is stupid borderline ridiculous. I have an obsession about trash on the ground can you believe that nonsense this is time wasted that can be for spending time with family and friends living !! I refuse to waste anymore time. I know this isnt going away right away but imma fight it with all my might !!

Another kid in the neighborhood when I was 5, would molest me. I didn't like it. I went along with it. Laughed it off. When I did tell this kid that I didn't want to do that anymore, that she would get snide and insulting and this would go on all day as my mom watched this kid everyday after school. This kid was in the space where a best friend would be. They weren't a friend. Still, as much ss I didn't want her in my life, I would simultaneously worry about her not being my friend anymore, or about her turning other kids against me and I would act out in frightened ways. Telling the other kids not to listen to her. That she liked to say mean things about me. Then I'd freak out that she would find out that I told them that and so I'd try to cover my tracks by saying to her that those kids say things that aren't true. I felt like a sleazy liar, as I was. I was a coward and handled it all horribly. However, when I was with a friend that had nothing to do with her, I was a completely different person. No worries. Just a nice time spent together. However, she sabotaged that friendship by making me feel sorry for her as she wanted to be the other one's friend and I was made to feel guilty about being the other one's friend. That ended horribly. As I grew up I felt very distrusting and paranoid of any romantic relationship and paranoid of other close friend relationships being destroyed. My worst time with OCD was as an adolescent and when my mom was very ill. That's when I had horrible visions and fears of causing harm by just doing simple things. For exampl, if I step on that crack my whole family will go to hell, so I'd have to avoid the cracks even the lines around tiles. Or if I don't humiliate myself right now by for example, raising my hand in class for no reason, or worse humiliation the same thing will happen. Those things lightened up as my mother got better and adolescents passed. However it lingers. It gets in the way of what could be a much better life for myself and my loved ones. I wonder if my OCD was brought on by the situation with the kid my mom watched every day.