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the NOCD Community

Every time I think I’m getting better, my ocd starts bringing up certain things that haven’t bothered me as much as other things. Then I feel like I have to find the answer to something or I can’t get better. Because then I’m only focused on figuring one thing out, and then after I figure it out, I can start getting better. It’s like I’m telling myself I need reassurance, or I won’t be able to recover.

I had 2 really good days where my OCD was practically non existent... now I’m back to spiraling. I hate this. I want to be normal.

Does anyone else have relationship ocd about everything their partner does? Like maybe if they talk too much you get annoyed and you think your not meant for each other? Or maybe after sex you feel down and then think it’s about your partner? Am I just crazy or does anyone else have thoughts like these. It never stops. Once I get over one, another one comes up. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with relationship ocd with erp?

Has anyone got tips for depression?

What do you guys think of Ali Greymond? I’ve watched some of her videos on YouTube but I don’t know if it’s evidence based or trustworthy. I’m just wondering what others opinions are.

Anyone else feel like there’s no hope left? Like with ROCD you don’t love them it’s just you’re having an unhealthy attachment rooted from childhood? Anyone else feel this way? :(

What do I do if I don't feel as triggered as my ERP was meant to be? I wrote everything that would trigger me. My real events, my false memories, the shame, the guilt, and images of my related obsession. Why didn't it work? What's wrong with me?

Last night I completely broke down. I was sobbing in the car for a straight hour. I feel like OCD is taking everything away from me. It’s so debilitating and I can’t even do basic things such as make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich because it involves using a butter knife. I couldn’t drive me and my husband home because I had intrusive thoughts. And I can’t do any hobbies or watch my shows because I never know what will trigger me. I’m so sad and angry because I don’t know what I did to deserve this illness and it’s not fair. I just want to be normal and think normal and act normal. I’m just really mentally exhausted and need a break 😞

Anybody else start to feel less anxious but still very uncertain and confused about a theme?

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE RESPOND :’( I’m getting really strange unwanted thoughts. Is this normal. Whenever I want too draw I get thought about I can’t look at colours it bothers me. When I’m stressed about money I get weird thoughts about what if I steal something and that everything is free in the world so I don’t need to work. I get thoughts about harming my self or others. If I want to save my money I get thrn weird thoughts about what if i give it to someone to harm someone else. what if I overdosed a lot and end up dying cause i have tried to end my life 7 times by overdosing already and now I have this fear. I Really hate this how do I get rid of itt

I have contamination OCD especially related to covid. I’m afraid to touch things other people have touched for fear of being contaminated. This evening we had people over to our house, my wife’s brother and his girlfriend and his son. It’s the first time we’ve had guests or anyone in our home other than workers in over a year. Her brother and his girlfriend have been vaccinated. His son tested negative 2 days ago (we insisted that he get tested before allowing him in the house for the evening). We spent the entire evening (5.5 to 6 hours) with no masks on. I was fine all night in terms of being anxious - I touched things the guests touched and was breathing the same air and I was not anxious because I felt it was safe - they were vaccinated or tested negative. Then at the end of the night, 5.5 hours after he arrived, I found out that the son works part of the day in a big indoor space with tens of other workers and no one wears masks. Now I’m very anxious. Also, they left a short time ago and my son hugged them as they were leaving and then hugged me - this was bad for me OCD-wise - I felt contaminated and washed my hands and face which had touched my son and his shirt after he hugged our guests and he and his shirt were touched by their faces. Finding out at the end of the night that the son has been working around others without a mask totally ruined the night for me and now I’m very anxious. I had a nice evening/night and then it had to be ruined and I had to find out something that made me scared and anxious and feeling contaminated. I want to know why I had to find that out instead of just enjoying the night.

Guys helppp!! I had a very bad day due to Ocd... I have been betrayed by both of my parents, they completely ignored me as their child after they broke up and never ever showed me love or help in anything since then. Then my father suddenly died last year of a serious illness and now I feel more lonely and hurt than ever. Because of these traumatic events i cannot show trust to anyone whether its a friend or my husband. I am having a terrible time in my marriage because i cannot trust my partner, i doubt everything every day i think "what if he is lying?", "what if he doesn't really love me?". It is so awful and i cannot enjoy anything now. No matter how stupid or fake my thoughts are i believe so much in them that it is like i am experiencing these fears. Today i cried and felt extremely bad because of these thoughts...any advice would be helpful! Thank you all!

I read an OCD story about a girl who had OCD and saw demons/possessed family members and in the end got electric convulsion therapy. This is freaked me out since then that I could end up like that. Two things...I’m scared to take any medicine/drink (like upping my antidepressants or sleep aids, anti-anxiety medicine, any alcohol) for fear of all of sudden losing my mind and seeing my infant baby girl be possessed that I’d harm her. Two, I’m afraid I’ll end up like her and need electric convulsion therapy or deep brain stimulation because I could be treatment resistant. I just feel like doing my exposures and trying to accept uncertainty has my brain on stubborn mode and not really accepting the uncertainty. Like it feels like a desert in my brain in that. Have any of you dealt with being afraid medicine would make you lose your mind/get you out of control? Any of you worried you were treatment resistant?

i think ive ruined my life genuinely. im a sexual violator/maybe even a molester and so many other horrible things. im so mad at myself. ive fucked myself up so bad so quickly and i cant even do anything else useful.

Hey ladies I just wanna have a girl talk with y’all. I’m 15 and every girl at my school has boobs and I’m have small boobs. I want body confidence and accept my body ever since I was a kid my mom and her friend would always tell me I should eat more to grow my breast for me to be worthy of guys cause they said “you should get big boobs so guys want you” obviously I know they’re judgemental and have confronted my mom about this. That was in 5th grade ever since that day even when it was hot outside I still wore a jacket cause if I wore a t-shirt I was insecure of how my boobs were mind you I WAS 10 years old worrying about body confidence. “It takes a second to call a girl fat, and years of starvation”- Harry Styles I’m still slowly recovering from this words any tips to wear t-shirts when it’s hot out so I don’t need to cover with a jacket

when you’re on meds does the emotional numbness go away?

I’ve already posted this once but I only got one response so I’d appreciate it if someone could offer some advice :) also possible TW (I mention eating disorders) I’m aware you can get OCD about pretty much anything but I’m wondering if I have OCD about this- I am quite skinny and tbh I’ve not had the best relationship with my body image in the past BUT recently I’ve decided I love my body. I genuinely love how I look and I’m finally happy with my weight and body shape. This is great but I’m also scared that it’s going to change and that I’m going to get fat ( I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being fat, I don’t mean to be hurtful but I guess it’s just an irrational fear of mine). I’m pretty sure I don’t have an eating disorder because I eat all three meals and snacks every day, I don’t want to loose any weight and I rarely restrict but I do weight myself a lot and because I spend a lot of time on tiktok, I’ve become very aware of calories (because it feels like that’s all anyone talks about right now). Basically, I just want to stay at the same weight I am now because I love how I look and I’m scared I’ll randomly gain weight (even though the logical side of me knows this is very unlikely). The reason I think this might be OCD is because I keep getting thoughts telling me that I have an eating disorder or that I’ll get really fat in the future. I try and reason with myself and stay logical but the thoughts don’t stay away for long. If it’s OCD I know it’s pointless trying to reason with it but I’d appreciate it if someone could share their thoughts on whether this might be a theme of OCD so I know how to deal with it instead of answering back to the thoughts. It just feels obsessive and it’s annoying because I love my weight and I want it to stay the same but there’s these thoughts always telling me that I’ve got an ED or I’ll get fat. Thank you for reading all of that, I’m sorry it’s such a long post. I hope it all made sense :)

I was able to have sex with my partner. It was amazing.But then I started asking myself if I enjoyed it enough. Then I started asking if I am attracted to him enough. I should be if I was actually able to make love. My anxiety is peeking though... I had thoughts saying I wanna break up. I told my partner what I’ve been feeling. I told him I was worried I didn’t find him sexually attractive... I started crying. I need therapy... 😞 now I am worried everything was right....

i am quite prone to feeling envy which i hate. and there’s one girl in particular who i put on a pedestal and feel so ugly to in comparison. she obviously has flaws but i still see her as perfect and a million times better than me. and i hate this! i hate the way it makes me feel. i hate the resentment towards her it breeds in me. i love women and don’t wanna be angry towards them. but i literally don’t know how to not feel this way towards her. like i’m so envious of her it’s awful! she’s like a ‘queen bee’ at my school. and of course she’s very pretty, but there’s other girls equally as pretty as her who i don’t feel envious of. i don’t know why it’s always HER. does anyone else experience this or have any advice?

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE REPLY TO THIS? I’m so scared that a memory I once thought was false is real and I keep getting evidence that I’m really a child molester? In grade 8, I’d often put my hands on my sister while we were sleeping to be warm . Nothing sexual , id just touch her arm or put my leg on her leg , normal stuff cuz house was cold . I have this memory of touching her innapropriately during then but it doesn’t make much sense . It randomly popped into my brain once because when I was playing with her her clothes were loose and I saw skwnfjijg and then freaked out wondering whether seeing that was sexual assault and this memory popped up . What if I’m remembering the sequence wrong ? Now the evidence that it may be false is that I later developed false memory ocd and ocd in general . Except idk if this is even good development of ocd , like in grade 8 I’d ruminate on this but it didn’t take up my life , grade 9 I’d get groinals if I touched my friends accidentally innapropriately and wonder if I sexually assaulted them but the worry dissipates in a few minutes , if I ever had a fantasy my best friends face would just pop up , but it didn’t make me too anxious just irritated and annoyed . Then I had an obsession over whether I ya HIV and ruminated on that but then that worry dissipated tok after a few days and I would do compulsions for that one . In the summer later I got POCD since I worked on a children’s summer camp so never let them close to me , then in grade 10 I had pretty obvious ocd . In grade 9 I was also randomly worried that I liked my friends little brother who was 12? I’m so scared that grade 9 wasn’t ocd and that I’m actually a molester because I had the obsessions just not the compulsions . Is this evidence im a molester ?