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If we break up will I feel relief? I can't live like this

I have struggled with addictive behaviors a well as anxiety depression and intrusive thoughts (possibly OCD) for decades. I've started getting a handle on my addiction b thanks to God and the 12 Steps. I assumed that my depression anxiety and intrusive thoughts would get better after I got sober. Instead I feel like things have gotten worse mentally... Especially with regard to intrusive thoughts. Can anyone relate to this?

Anyone else experience "psychosis" that felt like extreme ptsd or ocd? My experience wasn't like the typical psychosis. Sometimes I wonder if it was actually something else.

If I’m not anxious, does that mean I really wanna do it?

I'm scared; it's 4 o'clock in the morning I can't sleep because of my intrusive thoughts and somatic ocd. And of course because I'm not sleeping I'm experiencing dizziness and anxiety. I have no support; people around me don't understand. I don't know what to do anymore. It's a nightmare.

yesterday i publicly with my public instagram account (my pfp has my face) talked about like pocd and my pocd for the first time publicly. there’s a lot of stigma surrounding pocd so i don’t even ever want people to know about it since i’m scared they’ll think i’m a pedo or something since everyone think people with pocd are future pedos (they are NOTT) but anyways i kinda feel like taking it down cuz what if like someone from my distant family (my close family know already and understand pocd) sees it and just thinks i’m some pedo? like what if they don’t understand? what if they like say “never go near my kids grossy!!” should i delete it or not i want to end stigma but i’m anxious about this.

Can ocd lead to other mental illnesses? Because right now I feel there's alot more wrong with me than just ocd or anxiety. I don't even know what's wrong with me anymore. I feel very weird and confused. I don't know I just don't feel like myself anymore. I don't even know how to explain it. I feel lost and hopeless and I don't know what to do anymore. It's just a weird feeling I can't really explain. I just want my life back. Can anyone relate?

please reply! has this ever happened to anyone before: you feel like you're getting better, far less thoughts and no anxiety, but it feels awful? like where's my anxiety? why am i not worrying? where is my so-called hocd? was it never hocd but just denial? why do i feel like i like the thoughts? and even this doesn't give me anxiety like it used to. y'all i am so scared it was never hocd and just denial. far less thoughts, far less rumination and less compulsions(i still mentally check girls to see if i like them and imagine scenarios to see if i like them but the anxiety is totally gone) i am so tormented by the idea that it was never hocd, at least anxiety made it feel like it and not whatever this is.

I feel like a horrible person. I was not a good person during the pandemic, did not follow the rules and lied a lot. I feel so so guilty about it now, I can't believe how immoral I was. and now I can't stop confessing. I confessed to some of the people I could've hurt, and they don't care/are telling me to stop feeling guilty. I keep thinking about more details I feel like I need to share, I probably seem really crazy to them because the rational part of me knows they don't care, like this was months ago at this point. I just can't stop, my entire days are consumed by this. My mom has even taken my phone so that I stop texting them because I probably seem insane. I just feel like I don't deserve friends or help or sympathy because of the immoral things I have done. I just want to be happy again, and enjoy life. I feel like I have learned a lot of lessons from this, but I still can't seem to move on.

Do you guys ever feel like you're doing well and you're intrusive thoughts starts to settle down and all of a sudden it comes back. I dont feel well mentally. In the beginning, I had a OCD flare up because of a nightmare I had a few days ago and now I just feel depressed. I'm a content creator and I'm just really afraid that no one will like my work. I feel like a nobody and I feel like I won't be successful because of my intrusive thoughts or the way I look like (i also suffer from body dysmorphia). I just feel like I shouldn't be on this earth.

Hi, is anybody available? I’m having really bad intrusive thoughts and horrible anxiety and I can’t sleep. I’ve been having multiple nights where I can’t sleep at all, it’s becoming constant. I can’t sit still, everytime I try to relax, I just keep having to move from the anxiety. Any advice?

I struggle so much with my past, particularly the way I behaved and the people I associated with towards the end of high school. I know that as a kid, and I was under 18 at the time, we all make poor decisions or do things that are wrong. I can’t stop ruminating though, and have a hard time letting go of the past. I know concretely, that who I was back then, is NOT at all who I am now and that I am in all honesty, disgusted by my past mistakes. Does anyone else deal with real event OCD and struggle with rumination? Especially feeling like they don’t deserve happiness or love because of their past?

How do you deal with contamination OCD that is centered around your own bodily fluids? It is weird but I worry about coming into contact with any of my own vaginal discharge or blood. I have specific rituals where I only change my underwear and pants in the bathroom and then wash my legs afterwards. I wash my hands like 10 times up to the elbows after using the toilet. I also disinfect after I use the toilet. I hate this and it makes no sense to me but I can't help but do it.

Hey guys, I just had a bad panic attack at work and ended up having to leave before it got bad, idk what triggered it but I started having these terrible intrusive thoughts and fantasies about being gay and it’s been happening for almost a year and it drives me crazy I really am starting to get on the good path in life, I’m 20 and working a nice job and it’s just hard when these thoughts come in, I am not gay and really never want to be ever I love girls and want it to stay that way, idk what to do it genuinely drives my head insane, how do I sit with these thoughts my mind, it’s so hard and just very powerful especially when anxiety kicks in, :( please help) thanks

I don’t know what I’m afraid of regarding my so ocd. I know I’m afraid of losing my identity and I fear judgement from others, but what if it’s something else? What if I’m homophobic and that’s why? I know better and I know so ocd is an identity issue, but I feel like the exception. I try so hard and I know I support everyone and love everyone. I educate myself and I talk to younger teens about their sexuality (mental health mentor) and I have no problems or judgment with them. I can’t wrap my head around why I struggle to accept certain parts of my so ocd and my scrupulousity automatically attributes it to homophobia. Like the idea of being on a spectrum is scary to me even though it didn’t use to. There was a time I used the idea of being on a spectrum to conquer my so ocd and it went away for a while. I was perfectly okay with it. Now I’m not and I don’t know why. It’s like my ocd feels that if I’m not perfectly one thing then it’s a threat to my entire identity and I know it’s not. I know it’s not a big deal and it shouldn’t be that scary, but it is. It scares me that it might be homophobia. It’s hard for me to accept the uncertainty of me being a bad person because I really don’t want to be. I don’t know what to do.

in need of some advice here! one of my biggest compulsions is checking whether or not i am attracted to everyone i come across. seeing as this is an immediate reaction, how can i use this to my advantage? how can i treat it as an exposure instead of a compulsion?

Oh wow, now that I think about it I’ve experienced many different themes of OCD throughout my life but I’m not sure if they were extreme enough to be considered OCD. Right now I’m dealing with HOCD and it’s making me very depressed and isolated but here are some things that I’ve experienced in the past: Years ago (when I was VERY young, maybe around 10) I remember going through this phase where I was constantly washing my hands so they were clean to the point where they had that white dry skin over them and they were irritated. I also remember this one specific incident where I was making a sandwich for my younger brother and I put the bread on the bare counter. I then remembered that that was where we also put our chicken eggs and I suddenly thought “what if my brother gets salmonella?” I tried to continue making the sandwich but I started crying and threw it all away because I didn’t want to be at fault if my brother got salmonella. I truly felt awful and angry at myself because I wasted the food. Another incident (I don’t know if this could be real event OCD) was I remember a while ago some girl on social media posted an anonymous message thing where you can leave anonymous messages for her to read and for some reason (I have no idea why) I left some hurtful messages behind. A little while later, I started thinking “what if she kills herself because of them?” “What if I get blamed for it?” “What if someone hacks the anonymous messaging service and reveals that I sent them?” The guilt ate away at me for so long to the point where I messaged her and told her that it was me that sent them and I apologized. However, that was not the end of it. Two years later I remembered the incident while I was on vacation and I felt so sick and awful to the point where I felt like I didn’t deserve the happiness I felt during the trip because I did that. These feelings were very intense during a car ride but then they kind of came and went during random parts of the trip. I mainly avoid saying hurtful things to people in general because I know that if I do my brain will spiral out of control with thoughts such as “what if they hurt themselves because of what I said?” Or “what if they try to hurt or kill ME?” I don’t know if this is extreme or debilitating enough to be OCD, though.

Hey guys, anyone have moral/scrupulosity OCD? I have obsessions in which I remember things that I feel my boyfriend may think were “wrong” and worry that if he knew he wouldn’t love me anymore/I wouldn’t be good enough for him, so I compulsively confess things to him. However confessing to him is really hurting my relationship- he doesn’t want to hear all the little things I obsess about. Anyone have any advice on sitting through this? It is extremely uncomfortable not to confess and I often have full blown panic attacks.

Need some encouragement today. Im 48 and just started experiencing symptoms of intrusive thoughts in March. Then had an anxiety attack. My first. In April and sense have need hyperfocused on my breathing. I know its automatic. Now I have constant stomach aches due to anxiety The breathing is the worse There is no need for me to focus on that In feeling like gonna lose this battle. I'm tired. Everything was good in life in March. Although I have been under stress. Have I gone insane.

Scared im attracted to woman and dont wanna be so im blaming hocd :(( Im so scared im doing that