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I feel like I’ve done something so unforgivable I hate this so much I wrote a post talking about how I had the urge to masterbate after looking at my kid so I did and now I feel horrible the whole time I was trying to think about normal things but intrusive thought kept popping in my head I am so scared right now and my anxiety is through the roof I feel like the worst person on earth I want to just end it..

I hope someone's here for me. I'm at an extreme low. Passing thoughts of suicide exist. I don't think I'll act on it, I just don't know what to do. These past 5 months are enough for me to know what kind of person I am, and it's not good. My girlfriend broke up with me a month ago. A lot of my friends are telling me I'm a narcissist and too rude with my humor. One of them advised that I should isolate myself from them until I learn to be a better person. Any joy I feel is undeserved. The shit I've seen because of this illness. There's things online that I think I've seen for a couple seconds that's genuinely incriminating. So why is there any compassion? Why am I here? Considering that back in July I'd look up bikini gifs on tenor to make sure I was straight, some of those gifs were tik toks. What if those people were underage? I can't bare this. My parents say there is nothing to worry about but they're liars. I don't wish this upon any other 15 year old. I am not a good person.

I keep having this pop up and it’s really bothering me and making me feel bad for a thought I had before my ocd came in bc it was Intentional :( and I feel like that’s proof that I really am a p… I just hate that I thought that but it feels like I’m those pedo who like it and feel bad bc they like it :/. And I’m not even sure bc I felt no arousal and idk the more I try to explain the more disgusted and bad I feel bc It feels like I’m making excuses abt when I feel like idk like that’s bad yk and idk it felt more like a compliment but I still feel like it was creepy and that I’m going to be like my abuser :( that way bc there can be p’s that don’t do anything to a child or just able to control themselves and not do anything and I don’t want to be that way :( I just feel like a terrible person and really feel like I’m becoming something I don’t want to be I feel so exhausted of this and im trying everyday to talk to my friends have a good time make memories but this is making me feel like im getting no where when the thoughts like this are the background just haunting me and thinking abt the future.. and im scared of saying the wrong thing abt these things bc now it’s my mind doesn’t care or it agreees to the opposite of what that person is saying abt a topic like that and I just feel so lost in identity like I’m kinda scared abt that :(, I hate this

I hate myself for being like this. Does it ever get better.

I tried some ERP and it’s sent me spiralling a bit. Now I’m convinced I’ve only ever been into women and have just been in denial. I know I’m supposed to be ok with uncertainty but I’m in a relationship with a man who I love so much and so I feel like I need to know. This is awful.

Guys I need your help. I am 20 and going on my first date tonight. I have never dated anyone or kissed anyone before and I am terrified!! I have social anxiety so that has lead to me never dating but now I met someone I like and we have been hanging out and now we are going to go to a festival and then watch a drive in movie in his yard. I feel like I'm about to die from anxiety. He has had at least 2 girlfriends so I know if he kisses me it won't be his first kiss and I'm so scared. What if he kisses me and I'm bad at it and he doesn't like me anymore. I am an awkard person. I am not sure I can do this

My sister who doesn’t have ocd believes that ocd could be a good thing it’s just that we suffer because we live in a modern society. I keep trying to argue with her but I’m not getting through. It just feels so invalidating, in any society or social system ocd would be the same because it’s our brain latching onto intrusive thoughts, creating an obsession and doing compulsions to neutralize distress. She really believes that the anxiety people with ocd experience is a “product of modern society’s rules”. 😑

Any tips on getting over the urge to find someone with the exact same ocd theme/experience as you? I’ve really struggled with this recent flare up as my fear doesn’t really fit within the parameters of one theme like it has in the past - it’s a combination of fear of being aromantic, sexual orientation fears, doubting if I actually want a relationship, if I’m capable of romantic love, obsessing over my attachment style - all related to the overarching fear that I’ll never be able to be happy in a relationship and will be single forever (right now my mind is whispering, maybe you would be better single forever!). But I keep searching for reassurance it’s ROCD but I’ve never been in a proper relationship so struggle to relate. Don’t want reassurance - just tips for exposures and acceptance of uncertainty.

I feel like this is no longer OCD. When the ROCD followed by the HOCD started I was so certain of what was me and what we OCD. Now I keep finding guys attractive and it makes me anxious. I’ve been trying acceptance but yea it makes me less anxious but it also makes it all seem very real. I feel really uncomfortable in my relationship. I’ve gone from a few days ago being really intimate with my girlfriend to now getting anxious even at the thought of sex with her? It’s worse when I wake up as well. I feel like I’m just ‘in the closet’ now whereas a week ago I knew this was just OCD and it allowed me to enjoy my relationship. Now it doesn’t feel the same

I feel so guilty for the intrusive thoughts especially when they come up at the wrong times like I mentioned earlier about when they come up during the m word. I feel so bad. I feel likes it’s all my fault. I should of known better and knew what I was getting into. I hate myself and I feel like I don’t deserve things like food or happiness. This sucks 💔

Idk how to word this, but how do you think of or interact with your partner without triggering obsessions? I feel like my anxiety is getting to a point where I’m just triggered by even the thought of him and it makes it difficult. Idk how to stop the cycle once it gets to this point and just wondered if it made sense to anybody else?

This is not for reassurance - it is intended to keep me going. Anyone who has went thru the “journey” of experiencing SOOCD & ROCD. How’d you overcome it? What was your journey like?

I'm wondering if I should even be doing this because I have had bad anxiety all day today and since I got home from vacation last night. I had anxiety while on vacation also, but not as bad as now. I don't want the motel to be a trigger for my OCD'S. I'm not sure what I should be doing.

No one gets back to me on here anymore..... makes me think I'm an acception from everyone else. I feel lost 😞

The thoughts feel quieter and I feel calmer but they are still there. It makes it feel so much more real. But I can also kind of tell it’s ocd. I feel normal but weird

I have a terrible fear of going crazy. This is a new obsession for me and this time i feel like i really can't deal with it. It feels like i am really crazy. Like i'm alone in the world, like i start to lose my memory. I fear that i will do something bad and won't remember anymore and things like that. At the same time, i feel guilt, shame, i fear that i'm prettending, that i'm just dramatic. It's unbearable, i don't know what i did to deserve this.

I’m about to have a breakdown. Idk who to talk to. Idk if my bf wants to be with me anymore. I made a mistake and now he’s still having a disconnect from me. I asked if he still wanted to be with me and he didn’t even answer it.

Can your sexuality change in your late 20s? just so feed up with this now just want to life my life

So I’m in a committed relationship to which is all great. But I’m attracted to this person I work with and have a little crush and every time I talk to him I feel like I’m doing something wrong. I would never ever cheat on my boyfriend but I looked it up and the internet made be freak out that I am emotionally cheating. I know I don’t want to be with this guy. And now I’m obsessing over it and feel guilty.

Has anyone with HOCD ever felt completely convinced they must be gay? And feel next to know anxiety about it and then have spikes of sudden anxiety because you almost realise again how uncomfortable that makes you?