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Although this inst related to POCD it may as well use the same advice. Basically in the past when i was younger i have watched porn. Alot of people do. I personally dont agree with it now but thats not the point right now. My OCD has made me stuck on certain stuff ive watched in the past. I fall into the trap of trying to remember why I exactly did and that whole spiral/mess. This affects me to this day because it makes me worry I am into that type of stuff I watched even though I am obviously very disturbed and uncomfortable with it. I watch porn less and less due to me trying to quit for years at this point. I havent touched the stuff I am speaking of sense that point. But id also like to add my emotions and porn "addiction" were at a way worse point at that time. Now it makes me very scared and diffucult to even think about relationships or anything now due to that fear. I know i shouldnt think about porn until im even in a relatiobship first but its not like i can just control what my ocd thinks about. Plus ive already heard it from my therapist. 😅 I have tried ERP so much but this seems to be one of my worst themes of all times. Any advice would be greatly appricated and not reassurance.

Just had a very inaproppriate intrusive thought while I had an intimate moment, I do not know how to deal with it. I feel like a monster, I never experienced sexual intrusive thoughts, and this one is actually disgusting. What bothers me the most is the moment when it happened. I will not name it, but is it something that I should talk about with my partner? Or move on? But I feel like talking about it would do good.

Hi everyone, I haven’t been on here in ages lol. I hope everyone’s doing okay 🫶🏾. Just a little update on how I’m doing. The therapist/tutor I used to have on a certain day a long while ago doesn’t take me out of lessons anymore. I remember we had a final session where she asked if the sessions helped and if I wanted them to continue. I said they really did help, and she said she’d look into it, though it might not be her. After that, I never got another therapist/tutor, which was kind of strange. But that was a while ago now. I also had a really close online friend who I talked to every single day, no matter what. We had such a strong connection (at least in my opinion). Sadly, she can’t talk to me anymore because of her strict parents, and we haven’t spoken in over a month now. It really hurts, and I miss her a lot. I just hope she’s doing okay :( I know this rant isn’t really about OCD, but I just wanted to get it out. My OCD is still there, but I can cope with it a bit better now. For example, when I’m watching TikToks, my mind tells me to read loads of comments exactly and check how many likes they have. It’s so annoying, especially doing that every scroll 🫩. I don’t want to do it, but my mind’s like, “Do it or you’ll regret it later.” Even when I’m getting changed for school, I have to make sure all my clothes are perfectly placed in my wardrobe before I leave the room. Sometimes when an OCD thought comes in, I tell myself, “Ignore it, what’s actually going to happen if you don’t read that comment?” I haven’t really opened up about this, but I had a really close best friend back in Year 7 and 8. I’m in Year 10 now, and I still randomly think about her and how much she’s changed. Seeing her around school is really awkward now, it’s like we were never close, even though we were. We just pass each other in the corridors. One day I told her she’d changed a lot and barely texted me anymore (and i thought this relationship isn't really going as well as it used too). She just laughed. We’re not enemies or friends now, and I don’t think there’s any hate, but I honestly don’t know. I think my problem is that I can’t move on. No matter what I do, I just can’t. Now I miss my online best friend who felt like a sister to me, and I lost one of my closest friends a long time ago too. If you’ve read all of this, thank you so much for reading until the end. Even if you haven’t, you still mean so much to me, and I love you all deeply. Please stay safe and try to stay strong and resilient when things aren’t going your way. I still get thoughts about the past and feel emotional sometimes, and you can probably see it on my face. I’m really quiet in real life, and I struggle to keep conversations going, if I even start one, it usually lasts two minutes and feels awkward. Sorry for ranting so much, and you probably didn’t read all of this lol. I probably won’t use the app much, but I’ll check in every now and then. I only remembered it because of a random TikTok. I hope everyone who helped me on here in the past is doing really well. See you everyone. :)

(31 year old male) I struggle with retroactive jealously. It’s irrational and I know it is but my mind can’t seem to stop the mental theatrics. Me and my current girlfriend of just over a year went to college together so we know of the same people. I was in a long relationship with my now ex during that time, I never knew my current girlfriend during those years in college. Recently, through a transparency discussion - I found out that she had sexual history with someone I consider to be a friend. Not in my direct close friends, but someone that I had regular interaction with. She obviously did nothing wrong, I was with someone else - we didn’t know eachother, shes got just as much of a right as me to be with someone else in that time of our life. My ocd doesn’t care and it’s exhausting. I find myself ruminating and going through mental movies of what they did together in the past. This is admittedly paired with my own insecurities which is the worst part. I have always considered myself underweight and it’s easy to fall into comparisons with her previous partners. Another part of this is, I am a mixed man (black and white), who was raised by a white single mother and I had little to no connection with my father - this has always left me with a feeling of disconnectedness with my blackness. Paired with I never had the mental strength to progress in sports past recreation, it’s really tough to find out that my now girlfriend had previous intimacies with overseas basketball players and the friend I mentioned above was at our college for football. I fall into allowing myself to go down the rabbit holes of being inadequate, or the assumption that those previous people must be bigger than me, able to satisfy her more than I could? She’s done nothing to feed this thought, and thankfully I haven’t gotten to the point where I directly ask size comparisons. But my mind won’t let me just let it go. It’s clearly associated with childhood insecurities. I don’t get complaints in the bedroom, I’ve always considered myself above average but it’s easy to make assumptions because of the extremes of pornography. I recognize how pornography is an issue and have completely stopped watching now that I’m faced with this. I just wonder if this is something I will ever be able to get over? This girl is perfect for me in so many aspects, it feels stupid to be this caught up on something that objectively shouldn’t matter. She may have had dealt with more people in the past than I’d like (12), but she still is very submissive to me and it doesn’t feel like there is any residual tendencies that she adopted from other men. Such a long post, and I could go into more context but I just wanted to post my struggle because I know I’m not the only one out here dealing with this.

As the title says, I was diagnosed with OCD in the 4th grade by a child psychologist. My classmates and I were learning cursive at the time. If I didn't think my writing was perfect, I'd erase and rewrite the words until there were holes in my paper. My hair had to be in a perfect slicked-back pony tail. I'd get so distressed over it that I'd miss the school bus. If I went around a chair 5 times, I'd have to go around it the other way 5 times. Losing count was so stressful. My parents had to tuck me in perfectly at night and if they didn't, I'd make them leave the room and start over. Stuff like that. I was prescribed some medication (perhaps an SSRI), did some exposure therapy, and it "went away".. for awhile. It manifested into disordered eating/obsessive exercising in middle school and high school. I started getting panic attacks around 16 or 17, while in a relationship with my first "real love". I put myself back into therapy in college and have gone on and off since. Although expensive, I have benefitted greatly from it. I am looking forward to a long overdue appointment, after my therapist was out on medical leave. As a now 37-year-old, romantic relationships are what I struggle with the most and seem to give me the most distress. Yet I keep seeking them out because I hate feeling lonely. My current partner is really.. truly.. great, but I can't stop obsessing over him and our relationship. I often doubt whether he's actually attracted to me (he has some ED symptoms we are working through together). We have conflicting work schedules, so sometimes communicating about plans can trigger my anxiety. I guess I'm here because I'm seeking community. I feel out of control and like I'm losing touch of reality. Im finding it very hard to calm my nerves, or stop my crying fits. I'm using alcohol to cope and it feels shameful. I don't want to scare my boyfriend with my mental health woes, as his last partner of 10 years took her own life. He deals with depression himself and uses alcohol pretty frequently. I hope joining this community can help me regain my stability and strengthen our relationship. Because I really do love and care for him.

Hi folks. Are there success stories out there of those who suffer(ed) from ROCD? I just can’t tell whether it’s ROCD or if I’m just making excuses and calling otherwise anxiety/“doubts” something else because I’m afraid to face the music. I’ve worried about most things one could worry about in a relationship: if he likes me enough, if he has a porn addiction I don’t know about, if he’s settling for me, if he’s attracted to me, if I’m really his type. Now as things are getting serious, I’m obsessed with whether I like him enough or not. I’m dreading future-oriented things. I hesitated getting into a relationship with him from the start, as I went through a very traumatic divorce two years prior and felt nervous about him despite him being an extremely committed, kind, and healthy romantic partner. I dated others in the past that usually were clearly noncommittal and I held on, I think because those felt passionate or something. Unlike those guys, I always considered my current boyfriend as a serious contender for something long term, but nitpicked ridiculous things. Currently, he feels so far away from me right now that I don’t feel anything. He almost doesn’t feel real. These worries usually consume most of my brain power for a week or two and then subside. This one is really strong and it won’t let go, and it’s scaring me. Am I just a people pleaser? Too scared to say I want something else because I don’t know what it is? Or is this really ROCD? I’m really tired, and I can’t keep living life like this.

First, coming here and admitting the things that go on in my head is daunting. I often fear I won’t be loved by my boyfriend or family and friends if they knew the extent of the intrusive thoughts that come into my brain. Picking a OCD subtype felt strange.. it’s almost like my brain was trying to think of a way to categorize myself into every subtype. I know for sure I have/had harm OCD. When I was a child I was terrified I would one day wake up and hurt my parents. And they are some of the most important people in the world to me. I remember my 8 year old self hysterically crying at night and my parents coining the phrase “bad thoughts”, then of course I didn’t understand and I thought I was a bad person. It seems like my OCD evolves with me. I’m of child bearing age have a partner and can see us having kids, now when I see kids I instantly have images of something bad happening to them and them. To call it POCD might not be accurate (but then as I type that my brain says “but what if one day it was accurate” “what if you’re just lying to yourself”). This is a cycle my mind frequents. I noticed this is triggered by stories online or on the news about terrible things happening to children. Not to mention… my current therapists husband was arrested for CSC on their young child.. It seems like my OCD tackles the vulnerable populations. I notice I do this thing where I constantly second guess myself. I’m in healthcare and I’ve been in healthcare for a few years now, enough to know what I’m doing. But I have this fear when working that I will do something wrong or upset someone or get yelled at or hurt someone by accident. It’s caused me panic attacks at work. Did I place that line correctly? Was that medication the right one? When I’ve checked multiple times… I’ve found myself seeking reassurance that I’m a good human in the people I love the most. I wish so desperately I could find that within myself. Typing that makes me tear up a bit. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll be like this forever or I wonder what my OCD will latch onto next, as it seems it comes in cycles. (As a child I had contamination OCD, people would call me a germ freak). I just want to know it gets better and you overcome things. Thank you for reading and thank you for allowing me a safe place with trustworthy folks that can relate.

Last night, my boyfriend said that with how often I tell him I'm having thoughts of not loving him he's starting to believe it too sometimes. He even wondered if some space would be helpful, and when he asked me if I'd ever thought about that I couldn't say no. I got home from my trip to see family in Sweden and my flight was delayed for 5 hours. I'd had a stressful day and typically I would worry about it, but I didn't. Not much at least. And during our conversation TYPICALLY I would be very emotional and crying. But I wasn't. Which makes me believe that I actually don't love him and don't want to be with him. I wasn't certain of my feelings and whether I wanted space or not. In the back of my mind and heart I don't want space. I want to be with him. But then my feelings (or lack thereof) contradict that. After nearly 3 weeks apart in which my issues got so so bad, I can't do so many things anymore. I can't visualize his face, I can't feel happy when he sends me cute things, when he tells me he got me a gift, when I think about him I don't feel excited. Outside of our relationship I also feel numb to many things, but the focus is definitely on him/us. I wasn't excited about getting home, but not necessarily depressed about leaving either. I barely greeted my dog that I usually love so much. Everything feels so disconnected from me, I even feel disconnected from me. The only thing that I truly want when I'm in a very anxious/depressed state is to be in my boyfriend's arms but I can't feel love for him. It's so so so difficult. During/after that conversation last night, I did slightly come to my senses and said he was mine and I loved him. And when I woke up today, I felt kind of neutral but it's slowly getting more to the state of numb.

After a long time of keeping my life moving on and never processing anything from my childhood/ many other traumatic instances from my life, I decided to start NOCD. I have been out of work due to nearly constant anxiety and panic attacks that have prevented me from working, also because of one of my recent traumas involves my career/ workplaces. I have suffered from agoraphobia for a long time, which got worse in 2020, and then again after I experienced a long time stalking situation, as well as emetephobia which I’ve had for my entire life. I have been on an anxiety medication for years but after starting NOCD, a lot more things have made sense to me and I am realizing my meds have never been treating my OCD, just my anxiety symptoms that were most noticeable to the people around me. After basically screaming for help in front of family, friends, and even coworkers on several occasions, I had once again pushed away more symptoms/ trauma. With that all being said I am having a lot of issues with my wife because of all of this. She tells me often that it isn’t my fault, and yes I believe her, but my guilt consumes me. She has been supporting us and our animals, as well as several medical and financial stresses that are not necessarily CAUSED by me, but I am not able to do anything at the moment because of how hard it is to simply get things done every day. My meds have been making me physically ill pretty much since I started them, and I am not able to just quit taking them due to them having pretty severe withdraw effects, hence why I am becoming physically ill nearly every day. This morning for example, after not being able to sleep all night, I finally drifted off to sleep around 9:30AM. I woke up suddenly at 11:30am, to which I was extremely nauseous, shaky, and dizzy, all even though I had just woken up and was still laying in bed. So ya I am having a rough time, guess I’d just like to vent bc my wife has suggested maybe I try posting on this group so I thought it’d be worth a try.

i think im getting paranoic i dont know if its a part of ocd but i have catastrophing scenarios. i had a big argument with my friends and we are in no contant. in the beginning of my relationship with my boyfriend i used to have doubts and i told my friends horrible things. my boyfriend know about it because i told him few months ago. i wasn't also fully over my past relationship. it was not about the person but about the whole situation. it was months into relationship when i used to tell my friends that it still hurt me what that someone did and i said some other bullshit. i used to text them about it. i also told them about arguments with my boyfriend ect. my boyfriend know about all this stuff because i had a need for confession but know im scared that my friends would send my boyfriend screenshots of all these messages and things. i had changed and we talked about everything but he didnt want to know what i texted them. i told him about it in general not in details and im scared that if he saw it he would break up with me. i regret all of my past mistakes but now im really stressed that they might send him these messages to ruin my relationship. idk what to do or to tell my boyfriend about this fear.

I frequently keep myself up at night thinking of all the worst things about him, like him cheating on me, and who he would do it with. During these sleepless nights, I’ve done things like make excel documents keeping track of his followers, and who he’s following, even when I know he’s committed to me. I know he cares for me, and when he isn’t alone, I’m the one he spends most of his time with. He’s also shown no sign of cheating or even wanting to cheat. Sometimes I can manage these thoughts by repeating his reassuring words to me in my head over and over, but most of the time it doesn’t work. He’s also been actively trying to get better for me and I can see it. He hates to see me hurt, and me getting caught up in my thoughts doesn’t help. I want to get better for him too, so I can be a better partner who can be there for him.

Hi, this is my first time posting anything so sorry if I accidentally trigger someone. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 months, and we've had a lot of ups and downs but good times too. I love him very much, but lately it's been harder to enjoy the relationship because I feel like I emotionally cheated. There was this guy in high-school that I grew close too over the course of a year, and quickly developed feelings for him. Fast forward, during our last month of high-school I started developing feelings towards my now boyfriend, and it was great. But, over the course of us dating whenever something bad happens I think "the guy I liked in high-school wouldn't say or do that" and it bothers me a lot. I ended up blocking him and I told my boyfriend about my lingering feelings towards him, and after a couple months I unblocked him to apologize and wished him a marry Christmas (which I told my partner about and he was good with it). But, one night when I was on Instagram I saw his story and it was pictures of him and I felt anxious and flushed to the point where my heart started beating and my thoughts felt intense. After that, I blocked him again and told my partner that I wasn't ready and ultimately decided to not talk to him or have a friendship with him anymore. Throughout our relationship, I just kept thinking and questioning whether I liked him or not and other various thoughts. It's so confusing, I love my partner. What should I do?

Hi everyone, I’m new to this app. My reason for downloading is mostly to combat or find new ways to deal with my relationship OCD. I was in an abusive relationship at 17 that triggered this line of thinking for me. I’m now 19 and my girlfriend and I have been together for over a year. She is patient and committed to helping me heal from what was done to me. I didn’t notice this trauma start to creep up until after I met my gf for the first time (we are long distance). When I got home I started having intrusive thoughts that she may leave me, that she’s angry with me, etc. She gives me zero signs of this, it’s purely my own brain and trauma telling me this. I try my best to not constantly ask for reassurance because I know that’s not healthy. Lately though, I’ve been unintentionally starting arguments. I will obsess over a thought about our relationship and when I bring it up to her nothing she says calms me down and it leads to a fight. I don’t ever want to make her feel that way and it’s not intentional nor is it fair to her. Does anyone have any advice on how I can better myself for my relationship? I’m trying my absolute hardest. I love her and I want to be the best version of myself for the both of us. My trauma has nothing to do with her, yet she’s been so willing to help me through all of it and still love me.

Hi everyone! I’m new to the community and trying to understand relationship ocd. I want to know what others experience, to understand myself better, but to also feel some validation in it. Sometimes I feel like it’s all I can do is ruminate about my relationships.. with my partner, friends, and family.. but my romantic relationships are the hardest…

So the other night i accidentally called my boyfriend my ex’s name, me and this ex dated off and on from august-October off and on like crazy, stayed tg 1-2 weeks broke up, like off and on. The longest we was tg was like maybe 2 weeks. And i always thought about other guys while with him, he treated me terrible. Like our main cause of breakup was he had sex with me while i was drinking, and he was sober, and i said i wouldnt agree sober, but i wanted to do it?? And he did a sex position i told him i didnt wanna do before we even had sex. and when j expressed it the next morning he was defensive and mean? Ig and i forgave him, then one day i argued w this guy bc he was making fun of an autistic kid, and my ex got so mad i argued with some guy for doing that.? And he basically said it wouldnt work, and i was trying so hard idk why? I never did. and he sent me a pic of his ex’s gf house. That he swore he didnt miss or love and so i was like wtf? But i was like okay whatever? and went on. And i was just in a low spot with him.. and he would always tickle me and id get mad. well me and him was separated a month, i got with my current boyfriend who i ADORE. Ive never felt so amazing about being with someone. and the other night he started tickling me and i screamed “STOP (my ex’s name) and i felt so terrible about something, now my mind tries to tell me i miss my ex, i wanna be with him, and how i miss his attention etc etc. but i dont? And my mind tries to make me think i wanna look at him and what not but i dont, or puts his name where my boyfriends name should be and sometimes when i try saying my bfs name it will mix his and my ex’s name? But I like hearing how he messed up his life leaving me bc idk ego especially with what he did? And i have rocd and pure o so please someone help me with what to do. Because i feel like crap.

so I’m struggling. Ever since last weekI still feel numb with him. Like I’m faking it or anything he does is an “ick. When does that go away. I have no thoughts attached to this but the minute I wake up the feeling is there. The feeling leads to me thinking about what is happening. If these are my feelings trying to come out but now I’m getting crazy body effects. Sharp pains in my side of my armpit and headaches. I don’t want to end this with him. That’s not a thought that crosses my mind really. It’s just the feeling of fake, numb, loss of “attraction” idk. When is this supposed to be better. I don’t wanna feel this every day of every minute. I just want to be happy with him and i physically and mentally can’t. I keep thinking, maybe all this anxiety are my feelings trying to come out and I keep pushing them down but the thoughts of breaking up isn’t scary. I would be very sad but I know how to end something with someone, I have before. My last ex, I didn’t wanna be around him, hangout with him and I didn’t want him to touch/kiss me. It’s not like that at all with my current boyfriend. We hangout all the time and he comes over. Sometimes I get thoughts of I need space but I’m to scared to listen to that because what if I want that space forever. I just don’t get why I’m not attracted to him and I’m almost faking my feelings. I am struggling.

Rant :’o This past month ive been feeding into my ocd cycle. Even when I know it’s bad I still do it? My cycle seems to looklike this: -gets intrusive thought - gets reaction to thought, views it negatively, so I get defensive and push away physically and emotionally until I get clarity and reassurance that my thoughts aren’t real or that they have no validity. It is SOOOOO HARD to break out of the defensive mode when im simultaneously having thoughts that are telling me “do I trust him? Do I want this relationship? Is this relationship something I still want? Do I care about him or am I even in love with him?”. It adds fuel to the fire and makes it hard to break out of that defensive stage. It makes you feel like whats the point in fighting for this relationship. Listen I didn’t ruminate much or at all on this thought im about to share and im not seeking a why behind my actions but just spreading something I noticed and feel could have some validity behind it but if it’s a possible reason then so be and if it’s not then so be :3 But I feel like when I’m in a defensive mode all im feeling is anger, sadness, emotional numbness even, that it leaves no room/space for the love I have for my boyfriend to enter or even be seen to help me lend out my arm and be trusting. That’s what im feeling in my defensive mode/ defensive tunnel vision so when I’m asking myself why should I even trust him and trust that my intrusive thoughts aren’t real then it feels like there’s no point in trusting or stop pushing him away when there’s no feelings of love or happiness and excitement to combat the negative thoughts. I know im just ratting on myself for checking feelings and you should just trust that your intrusive thoughts aren’t real and all but im not used to having checking feelings as a compulsion or at least im more self aware that im performing the compulsion now and im struggling on how to approach this with erp. If u have tips regarding erp and checking feelings then feel free to let me know !! Ty ^^ I hope im making sense and im not just talking in circles lol. In sum, those negative feelings in my defensive mode make it hard to be so trusting and break free when that’s all you’re feeling and im letting those feelings navigate how I approach trust when I don’t have that reassurance there to make me break out of my cycle and I have to do it on my own. My New Year’s resolution is to be better at maintaining and improving my erp. I will be trusting and I will be better.

I have been struggling for a very long time with what could be OCD. I haven’t gotten fully diagnosed yet because everywhere has been full. But here is my story: I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and one month, and he is the best person I’ve ever dated. I love him extremely and we have the best time together, we have similar values, we’re best friends, all of the good things. We went long distance roughly 8 months into our relationship for about four months, and then he moved back. From August until now, I have had growing doubts about our relationship beginning when I didn’t have huge honeymoon-y feelings when I saw him for the first time after a while. Ever since then I have had intrusive thoughts like what if I’m not actually having fun with him? What if we’re not meant for each other? And like in moments of intimacy I will question if I’m actually enjoying anything and what if I’m actually gay. I have felt attraction to girls before in my life but I’ve never dated any, and I absolutely enjoy sexual things with my boyfriend, I think I just resort to black and white thinking. Anyway, all of these thoughts have gotten to me so bad that there have been three several-day periods over the past two months where I can barely eat and barely sleep because I am so anxious and I feel like breaking up is the only thing I can do. A lot of other people who aren’t familiar with OCD are like “well you shouldn’t feel this way so maybe it’s time to break up”. It absolutely breaks my heart because I love him and I don’t feel like I’m missing out in life and our relationship doesn’t have any problems, I just am exhausted of feeling the way I feel and I hate having to break his heart telling him I’m having these thoughts. I also now get super anxious to see him until the thoughts and feelings just subside and get better on their own. Like right now I’m in a phase where I don’t want to see or talk to him because I’m afraid of being more anxious. I just want help differentiating between if breaking up is actually what I need or if another plan of action would be better, or if anyone else has been through something like this before. I appreciate it so much. I hate to keep adding stuff but I feel like now after sitting with these thoughts for so long it just feels like maybe we aren’t compatible and that I would just feel better if we broke up. But because I’ve been going in and out of feeling this way and we’ve had so much fun together, I really don’t want to give in. I just feel SO AWFUL. Does ROCD make people cry all the time and make people constantly have a pit in their stomach? Like I have never felt this awful in my life and peoples first thing is to say that means the relationship isn’t right which makes me want to give up.

I’m really struggling with this bc not many understand the TFJ and I’m contemplating cutting him off bc I get triggered by my friend from Spain telling me she feels bad for him, using the same song I used on a story post of him and I for her and her bf, and just not fully understanding what I’m going through. I’m convinced if it doesn’t work out between him and I they will betray me and get together, because he wants to get a place in Spain and travel around Europe . But realistically idk if that will happen anytime soon. I’m just really hurt and stuck and scared bc I believe in manifestations and our thoughts creating our reality to some extent. I want to block both him and her on everything, even though she is innocent rn, I don’t fully trust her and think she wants to come to the US / be like me bc she copied the song. So I wouldn’t put it past her to betray me for him . But also he said he doesn’t find her attractive . So this could be my ocd

Help pls . Me and my friend got really drunk but i liked the feeling and i liked that we were laughing a lot but i wanted to keep drinking and my friend was like nooo ive had enough im sloppy drunk and i was like “brooo i dont want to drink alone”. Throughout the night i got more drunk so about 2-3 more times i asked her like damn i want another shot let’s take one and she was like i dont think u should drink more. I was like yeah maybe I shouldn’t I don’t want to get sick. Then later on I told her I was sorry and I didn’t want her to feel like I was pressuring her and she said like no I didn’t feel like that don’t worry. I just feel really weird because I don’t know why I kept asking and I worry i did something terrible. Also she ended up kissing me after we took like two shots and idk if I wanted to keep drinking more because I liked how carefree we were. We both didn’t end up drinking more so idk if I should even be worrying.