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I was helping my child and i knew if i walked away itd cause a groinal and i knew she was going to respond to my question so i walked away and said no compulsively because i anticipated a groinal but ocd said i did something bad

my living situation is interesting (to say the least) but i cant do anything about it and it’s making my life so much worse and more difficult than it needs to be. im on the verge of relapsing after ~7 years and im finding it really difficult not to go through with my “plans” (if you’re picking up what im saying) on top of this, i’ve been having a spike in my obsessive thoughts lately and i keep being reminded of past memories and some childhood trauma and i feel so sick. my mind is convincing me that trauma is the reason i “must like little kids” or the reason why God is after me like i thought He was all these years or the reason why i keep getting intrusive thoughts about my teacher everything seems to trigger everything and i am so sick of it. i want it to all go away and i have no private place to rest because of my situation and i have no one to talk to about this. if anyone has any advice or suggestions or comfort please let me know

Me and my fiancé have been together for several years. Our love is not infatuation or lust at this point, true comfortable type of love. My mind seems to think this means I do not love him and it's because I'm actually gay. Sometimes I catch myself thinking things like, "Well if I don't love him anymore, maybe I can learn to love him again. Maybe if I just keep going." And that scares me because I remember i used to see a talk therapist, and one time I discussed my fear that one day I'd wake up and realize I was gay, and he said something like people don't just wake up in a hetero relationship and realize they're actually gay but they usually say "maybe I can learn to love them, maybe I can make myself love them." So, similar to what I'm thinking now. Freaks me out so bad. I KNOW I love him, but geez this is the worst theme I've ever had. Anything and I mean ANYTHING is evidence to my mind. Any little thought, action, dream, word. I can't even think about getting my hair cut or dress a certain way without my mind ssying that makes me gay or will make me look gay. (Which, what does gay even look like lmfao?) Sorry, just needed to vent.

I turn 17 in two days and I’ve been in a panic that I’ll still have attraction to 14 year olds, because I actually do not know if I do or not, I just can’t tell. I don’t know how I’m gonna tell. idk if I will or not, and it’s all super confusing to what I really want, it’s like “do you like 14 year olds at that age??” And I say no? But it feel like I’m also lying, and that I actually do? idk what to do? My brain keeps justifying it to be fine cuz it’s only three years but I really don’t like that, so I’m worrying that I will feel attracted

(Sorry for long post) This and my harm ocd is the worst. My so-ocd has me thinking I’ve lived a lie all my life. Ever since I was young I’ve wanted a boyfriend and a husband. Ive always obsessed over men and I’ve had silly little crushes. Plus I had quite a lot boyfriends in primary school. I’ve always wanted that teenage romance with a stupid boy but my so-ocd is driving me insane. Whenever I try to think of scenarios with a guy, my brain says “no” and changes it to a woman and then I get a groinal response. It’s so tiring. I’ve never, ever wanted to be with a girl. Even thinking about me dating a girl is just no. And when I was in secondary school I had this crush on a guy I didn’t speak to much, just a few glances and I even confessed but he said he had a gf. Was that crush just a way of me hiding my true identity? And whenever I think a guy is attractive my mind says “no you’re gay” I can’t even get turned on by a guy which is insane because it was easy for me to before this theme popped up (around a few months ago). It’s so frustrating because I want a boyfriend. I want to fall in love with a boy. I want a family with him. Anyone else going through a similar experience?

I was reading posts that might relate to what I’m going through. I encountered a few people with POCD who have physically checked (full self intimacy thing) their attraction as a compulsion. I am petrified of doing this and because I read about it I’m so scared my brain will make this a new thing. And ofc it’s something that pops up when I’m trying to do something intimate. How would I know that I’m checking vs having intrusive thoughts/intrusive thoughts about checking?

I’m not asking for reassurance, i’m not even 100% sure if I have relationship/sexual orientation ocd, I just have been wondering this about myself for a while so if anybody has any thoughts i’d love to hear them. I’m a female, and bisexual. For the longest time I was so into guys, having crushes all the time and nonstop obsessing over them. But recently I got my first boyfriend and it made me realize that I’m not sure i’ve even ever liked the guys that I thought i did. I know that I wanted them to want me, but countless times, I would try to start something and end up being the one who hurts them because I realize I don’t like them like that. I think I knew i liked girls when I was around 12 (i’m now 19) but it has always been a different feeling than when I like guys. (preface: I know for a fact that I am sexually attracted to men) Me and the girl I have loved for over a year now have recently started to be more flirty sexually and it has made me question a lot of things. I know that when I see an attractive woman in the street, I won’t be attracted to her. I think it’s called demi-sexuality where you have to know the person first, so I always excused it as such. But the girl i love sent me a photo and I wasn’t turned on by it. it confused me because we have been together before physically and i loved it. i’ve tried looking it up but all i found is asexuality and situations that didn’t sound like my own. i know that i am physically attracted to women. i know that i am physically attracted to men. but when i see a man, i will automatically know that i am attracted to them. and this photo confused me because i know that i am attracted to her but her body just doesn’t necessarily turn me on? i’d like to think that it is just because i am more attracted to her personality, but this also brings out feelings that make me think about all the times when i would be so sure i liked a guy and then not like them emotionally. i wouldn’t want to start something with this girl and then feel like i’m faking being turned on by her body, even though i do want to be with her physically and in person. I also don’t find naked women attractive. I am pretty sure that i find naked men attractive. i am aware that i definitely have a preference for men, but i was so sure that i liked this girl. i cant see how i can like her and want to be with her physically but her body doesn’t turn me on, even though being with her does. (and no it isn’t anything about her body, i think she is perfect, it is just with any girl) if anyone has any thoughts i’d love to hear them because i am really confused. like i said, i am not even sure that i have these ocd subtypes, i think that anyone in my situation would also be confused and want to understand their feelings especially considering that i have never been in a successful relationship and at this point it has me wondering if i am even built for it if i am never able to be fully invested in a relationship whether it be emotionally or sexually. anyways, thank you for reading, i hope i can get some insight from someone.

So I have many of the debilitating symptoms of so-ocd and have done for a few years now. Prior to this theme, in my childhood I presented OCD behaviours like having to touch something so someone I loved didn’t die, feeling like I had to do something (an urge) even if I really didn’t want to, if I went away on holiday I would have this mental bucket list and say for example if I hadn’t been in the sea because it was too cold I would force myself to because I just had to before we went home or I would regret it, I was a bit obsessed with figuring out how to ‘live in the moment’ and often stressed that I wasn’t and would regret it when I died, I had urges to scrunch my nose up that I couldn’t shake. However, something i am really struggling to get past though is the past events that may prove this theme to be right. For example - I have a past memory of when i was around 8/9 of me looking up a music video which involved a sexually explicit video of a woman and i remember watching it and thinking ooh i know i shouldn’t be watching this because it is inappropriate and almost feeling sneaky and excited because of this, and i don’t know if this is just childhood curiosity and because i knew i wasn’t really allowed on youtube as a child or if its attraction and arousal and im worried that this proves my fears even though until this theme hit i didn’t think once about it and when i did i just brushed it off because i didn’t think it made me gay but now i feel like it does. Does anyone have any thoughts/advice/similar experiences on this?

Some days I really feel convinced that my thoughts are true, like i genuinely couldn’t tell you what I am or how I’m feeling, but some days I know it’s just OCD. But even then my brain tells me I’m just blaming it on ocd and the thoughts I’m having are repressed desires and I’m just in denial

I feel that even if the ERP works i will never ever get over the fact that some of my past behaviours as a young child prove I am gay I have started ERP, and I am starting from the bottom of the anxiety hierarchy. The task that gives me lower anxiety is staring at a photo of a lesbian couple. last night I was able to do this for about 10 mins and the anxiety faded and i didn’t do any compulsions. But does that mean my ocd is fake because the duration of anxiety wasn’t super long and I managed to not do any compulsions? Does the ERP get harder when the tasks are more difficult? Of course im not wishing for more anxiety but i can’t help but feel like this means the ocd isn’t real. Any advice would be much appreciated thank you :) Also as I have read that SO-OCD is so rare I’m worried my therapist just thinks I am gay. I don’t think she is an OCD specialist but we are doing ERP. I know people say therapists have seen all sorts before but I just know that I am probably the only one she has had with this fear.

My intrusive images were an absolute nightmare back in April. I honestly don’t even know how it got better, I had written a letter to God begging for help. Well recently idk if it’s because I’ve been stressed a lot again and ruminating on a lot of pocd related things from the past the make me worry, but the images have started again and even though they are repulsive and awful, I feel like I’m not reacting how I should. I think I just got to where I would just try to like blink it away and ignore it, but I feel so bad if I’m not feeling absolute shame and guilt. I feel like I feel too normal and sometimes I forget that if anyone knew besides people on here, I can’t imagine what people would think, but I also know it’s not who I am so I feel like I don’t worry as much as I should. Also, I can’t stop worrying about fanfiction I read when I was like 16 and 17. It really bothers me because I keep wondering did I imagine this one character my age? Why did I read this? Did I even know what aging up was then, and even if I did it’s wrong and gross anyway but if I didn’t age this character up then that’s awful. And i just can’t let go but I think it’s triggering me to have the images so idk what to do.

It’s getting really annoying not knowing if I’m straight or gay it’s really annoying me and giving me anxiety I want to punch something I can’t even talk to my girlfriend cause I don’t even want to text her

Hey guys I’m 16 this happened when I was around 15 all my life I have been heterosexual I Have loved women and cried over them obsessed etc never questioned my sexuality until my female friends said I was gay and made me take a gay test at that time I had no attraction to girls cause I was depressed and I fell into this gay mindset after my friends told me that I constantly had are you gay thoughts and images and couldn’t move was week now I’m better I still have no attraction to girls at all I am diagnosed with ocd is my fear of gay becoming true please someone respond I feel like my fear of being gay is coming true

I went out with my coworkers today. There Is One coworker Who Always asks me if im a lesbian. And It already triggerars me but I try to let It pass. Now today we went out and She started to get really close to me, hug me etc and I started to feel weird, my Heart was beating fast and I don't know why?? My brain is telling me I reacted like that cause I like her. Idk i'm panicking, why did I have so much anxiety when She got close? She's really beautiful too so the fact that she's physically beautiful makes everything worse?? Idk what to think

Does anyone else with SO-OCD struggle with imagining a future partner and checking feelings? That’s been my biggest compulsion, and now I feel like I don’t want to end up with a man someday, or that if I do I’ll feel sad or lonely. I’m also sitting here imagining being with women and I can’t tell if I like the sexual thoughts or not anymore, or if my negative reactions mean anything. My face scrunches and I feel anxious and my temperature rises. I’ve been off this app for a couple weeks but still feeling anxiety pretty steadily. I keep imagining the future and getting this feeling and voice that I’m gay and I need to come out to everyone. It’s distressing and I don’t feel like myself anymore

Atraction, arousal, crushes, I have them all, I didnt had them before the thoughs, but I do now, and it all honesty I don't recognize the false part, the crushes come from memories or thoughs and now I'm starting to believe that maybe I never had a crush on a woman cause these false crushes feel so intense that I honestly have no idea how could they be false but at the same time are so intense that if I always had them like my brain says then how didnt I notice before, same goes for the atractions. So real tired right now.

I read an article on NOCD. It was triggering. In article she mentioned having so-ocd. She mentioned so-ocd often gets misunderstood and that she had internalized homophobia. She also mentioned being ill-informed on her values. This has distressed me so much. It’s made me question what if I don’t have so-ocd. I also did an exposure. I was watching a YouTube video called signs I missed growing up that I was a lesbian. In the video she mentioned being infatuated with her friends that were girls. I felt like when I met a new friend I would obsess over them. Then she mentioned being uncomfortable in lockers rooms when they had to change and I remember feeling uncomfortable. She also mentioned having dreams with girls and liking it. Last night I had a dream that I was having sex with my best friend and that I liked it. I am married and have a 6 month old and have a fear of losing my husband.

I’m really scared to talk about this but I feel like it’s bothering me so much right now. Idk what started my groinal responses but I realized that they’ve been going on for a long time. This whole thing is weird idek if it is a groinal response or if i’m trying to trick myself, but the only thing i’m sure about is that I hate it so much and I pray everyday that it goes away. So I noticed everytime I get excited or happy I start feelings stuff down there. Like I remember when I used to take care and sleep with my baby neice while her mom was at work. I swaddled her up and layed her next to me and just seeing how small she looked, I felt like I was a mom. But, just the feeling of taking care of her like i was her mom made me feel something down there. When I noticed it I was like wtf… why do i feel that. Ik for a fact that im not attracted to kids but why did i feel that. It happens alot when I spoil my neice and nephews, like i was at the store today and I saw pajamas that I knew my neice would like and then I was like shes gonna look so adorable in this and then I get that feeling again. Idk what it is. Idk i really dont know I hate it so much. She doesn’t deserve this.

If you suffer from taboo themes, and deal with groinal responses… Do you feel they have disappeared? Do you still notice them? For myself, they have become so engrained/automatic , so while i do not get “anxious” by them anymore i still can clock them & it can feel discouraging … What are your experiences?

i don't know what to do. i had a dream where i think i felt attraction. i remember being anxious the whole time, I remember that i wanted to try to figure it out and i think i discovered that like i was actually attracted. i dont know what to do. i felt conscious enough to determine that. I was also compulsively staring to check for attraction and then it stopped feeling that way at a certain point in the dream i just aelf sabotaged myself and stared at something inappropriate and told myself i was attracted, that felt ocd like. but the girl in the dream i felt like i was actually attracted to her. i cannot tolerate that.