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Its my birthday but im not celebrating😔 why celebrate when things just keep getting worse for me im not happy at all😐

My thoughts are so loud today even just normal overthinking when I don’t know what’s related to my ocd anymore I’m trying to stay positive but sometimes it’s hard to get through the day especially when I can’t talk to anyone My head hurts and my sleep has been not good lately like I know I’ll be okay but sometimes just feels like a mess and my head won’t shut up

Why do I get so so many sexual thoughts all the time About things I don’t wanna be thinking about Is this part of ocd and does anyone else have this Is this hyper sexual or just ocd because I don’t want these thoughts in my head

Any success stories with ROCD and ERP? Would love some encouragement❤️

I haven't changed my underwear in about a week and a half because I don't have any clean underwear, it's all dirty and for some reason I just can't suck it up and do the laundry this time so I've just been wallowing away in my bed feeling and smelling gross, when I think about doing the laundry I get exhausted at the thought and then I think I'm a disgusting failure and then I just don't try at all and I just lay down and sleep to escape it all I don't understand why it's so hard for me to function like other people, my room is a disaster and idk where to start, I'm spiraling so badly, I have a pile of trash in my room that I'm for some reason just waiting for the "perfect moment" to throw away, I can't do this anymore, and I never say anything to my therapist because it's so fucking embarrassing even though I KNOW that she's there to help me through this, I can't bring myself to show anyone the state I let myself live in, I feel guilty and lazy and dumb. I need to ask for help but idk how, I've had help so many times with this and my room always gets worse, I hate my room, I want my old room back, I think I do this to show that I need my old room back? But I can't have it for reasons I don't feel like explaining rn because it's complicated, I miss my childhood room, it was perfect and it had everything I wanted and it was just taken away from me, I didn't mind it being taken, a room is a room, but I'm so possessive of my things and I like to have my things exactly as they are so I don't change anything ever. Even if that means cleaning my room, this is what I know now and I refuse to change it. I wanna fix this so badly

My hands are so damaged from washing them , any tips from anyone I wash them so much because they don’t feel clean enough or I don’t want certain germs from something I’ve touched They have gone dry and sore with cuts and are bleeding

I have a fear of being drugged and everything I eat being drugged. It’s so annoying and everytime I do erp for it and eat the food anyway I am so anxious and feel weird afterwards. Any advice or help with these intrusive irrational thoughts please!

Anyone have any compulsions they didn't realize were compulsions? I ruled out OCD as a possibility for a long time because I didn't think I had any compulsions, but I'm realizing they can be a lot more subtle than the common examples, like locking doors over and over. I'm slowly discovering many small things I do that could be compulsions (excessively proofreading my posts, ruminating, seeking validation for my feelings in comments sections, etc), and I'd like to hear other people's examples too

(sorry for the long post lol i'm just trying to make as much sense as possible) hi everyone, i'm not diagnosed OCD, but i recently came across some info about the ROCD theme, and a lot of the symptoms really resonated with me. in every relationship i've had so far, as the relationship progresses, i'm faced with unrelenting thoughts of "what if this person isn't actually right for me?", "we don't have xyz in common so we should probably break up", "they'd probably prefer to be with someone different than me", etc. and it makes relationships almost unbearable to stay in. my last partner broke up with me because i couldn't confidently say i was love with them. i never considered OCD, because i didn't have any noticeable compulsions, but then i learned rumination can be a compulsion, and i do that almost constantly. i may also have other compulsions that i just never considered unusual, i'm not sure. after looking into ROCD, i noticed a lot of other behaviors i've exhibited throughout my life could be attributed to OCD, like extreme perfectionism in all areas of my life, excessive googling of symptoms, and occasional phases of intense existential anxiety, among other things. i'm late diagnosed autistic, so i figured that was the cause behind all of this, but now i'm not so sure. also, i have tried CBT several times, but it has never been helpful for me. one therapist encouraged me to break up with my boyfriend when i was experiencing lots of uncertain intrusive thoughts, similar to ROCD, which was upsetting and didn't feel right. i say this because i know ERP, which i haven't tried, tends to be more effective for OCD specific therapy. i tend to fixate on mental disorders, trying to find an answer for what exactly is "wrong" with me, so that might be all that's happening now. but i just wanted to see if the community here thinks i have good reason to go get evaluated. i'm afraid that i will get dismissed by the psychiatrist, and still be lost, not understanding what's going on in my head or how to fix it. i guess i'm just here to see if anyone else thinks my symptoms are obvious enough for a diagnosis. please be nice to me lol i'm shaking writing this bc i know some people can be pretty mean when it comes to "self diagnosing" (which is not at all what i'm trying to do, i just need some guidance) thank you !!!

God I wanna ask my (15f) sister if I’ve ever hurt her -so badly. I wanna know if I’ve ever m worded her… she still likes me though- is around me, likes my attention when we are alone and is not troubled by my presence at all. Sometimes she squabbles with me, says hurtful things but she’s a teenager first and foremost. (Also likely bullied :( which is my non ocd fear.) She’s my sister, I love her more than anything and she doesn’t even know it. I’d move mountains for her if I had to and when I found out she was being bullied I wanted to personally put the fear of god into those pathetic wimps. She was born so I wouldn’t grow up alone if anything happened to our parents. She was the best gift and if I ever hurt her that way I would unalive myself The reason this thought came up was that I had a memory where me and her were playing as kids. We hid under the covers (idk why or the context) and she said “like sex?” And I panicked, got out from under the covers so quickly and said “what?! No- no nothing like that.” Or something along those lines. (I was molested as a kid by my cousin so I knew what sex was way too early- I think I was mostly disturbed by her knowing too.) My ocd is trying to find meaning- to find some part of this memory to twist. I can feel it bubbling in the back of my head sometimes. Conjuring up stuff. I know asked for reassurance from her is the worst thing I could do. Not only cause it’ll worsen symptoms if just ocd- but also it could possibly traumatize my sister cause she doesn’t know I have ocd and wouldn’t understand intrusive thoughts. :( Sometimes I just wish she also had ocd that she didn’t tell me about and we could both just ride it out as a pair again. Instead of being separated by my mental illness.

Hey!! I have health OCD wondering what everyone else struggles with and how you cope with things? Just seeing if there are similar story’s out there! 😊

Hi everyone, my anxiety level is at an all time high today so I am questioning everything. I was invited to a bonfire tonight with friends from school but I’m feeling so anxious, I’m talking myself out of going. It’s mostly because of one my friends will be there…we hung out last night and he always ends up treating me like shit. I need the companionship so I hang out with the same few guys and they don’t appreciate me as a friend. They know my issues and tease me about them, exclude me from stuff, and when we do hang out, I end up feeling worse by the time they leave. The bonfire is with a different group and I really should go to start hanging out with other people but since the one guy will be there, I feel stuck. I start obsessing about all the things he could say and do in front of others and it makes me want to stay in bed. Thanks for letting me vent.

So, recently I’ve started looking into OCD. My partner thinks I could have it, and I used to think it was always just a cleaning thing or being a little particular. I talked to my partner recently about these intense intrusive thoughts and I guess compulsions(?) that need to be done or else things would feel bad. That’s obviously simplified, I don’t really want to get into full detail since I’m still real uncomfortable with it? I don’t know, I’m worried that I don’t actually have OCD and I’m just using that name with something that’s not that? When/how did some of you realize you have OCD?

I’m not diagnosed, I haven’t told (if you see my other posts you’ve noticed im still unsure of how to tell my mom about it because my themes are the worst) and I live in Mexico, so my insurance obviously doesn’t cover nocd, witch sucks The thing is that I, by myself started to work in my “recovery” without being sure about like really having ocd and sometimes I struggle a lot because I doubt about everything, and I picture myself doing the most horrible acts and I’m just unsure that they aren’t real, that they aren’t things that are gonna happen, have happened or are happening 😿 From 2 weeks to now I been really worried that I’m going to, in the night while being awake, go to the backyard and harm my dog :/ it’s really horrible, so every time I’m going to sleep I make sure a hundred of times that the door is closed, but sometimes my brain makes me see images of me doing that and I doubt about what if I really went out to the backyard, harm my dog, return back and just not noticing it, and I have to check again the door and check that my hands don’t smell like dog or anything weird. Ive been going to bed around 12 and sleeping around 1 or 2 am because of that. Today in the morning I woke up early and I opened my door and I saw my dog sleeping besides it (my mom who woke up earlier than me let him go inside the house) and I really didn’t care about it, but then at breakfast I started having this thoughts and this images and I went to check my hands to notice anything weird, and I found nothing, it reassured me and I started feeling happy and confident again, but when later I was doing my bed I noticed a weird spot in the blanket that I don’t remember having it before, so I freaked out thinking that I did that and I smelled it, but I think I smelled just my soapy hand so I don’t think it smelled like something else, but I was still scared that I might had done something wrong to him at night or when I encounter him first in the morning, and I promised myself that when I got back from school I’m going to inspect the spot, but now that I’m home I just have discovered that my mum changed the blankets (because it was dirty from like 2 weeks without cleaning it, it was a reasonable choice, nothing to worry about) and now I just feel really weird because i won’t get the opportunity to know the truth about if I should stop my recovery and isolate myself because Im dangerous or if I continue with my recovery and it’s all worthy I just don’t feel like i deserve my dog, and I’m afraid that I’m hurting him without me knowing or remembering and I’m scared but I still feel hope Idk dogs are my life, animals are my life and it’s horrible believing that I’m bad and I feel guilty everyday without knowing if I’m dangerous or if I just have ocd 😿 please help me

No matter where I go, there's always at least one atractive male there, and I get this feeling that seems like atraction, my boddy is tense up, and feel some pain on my face, but my mind says this is a symtopm of represion rather than OCD, also every time I looked at the past to say I wasnt like this, I get memories that I always had this feelings for men, I really can't tell which parts of the memory are real and which ones are fake

I’m not sure if this is part of ocd I constantly get thoughts of people I had a thing with in the past but I’m in a relationship that I’m happy in I have rocd and when me and my bf are bad is when it’s worse I’ll be going over what I had in the past And also feel like I oversexualise them I just feel like a bad person and terrible girlfriend

The constant fear of harming or abusing a child has made me stay in and not want to go outside. It’s such an awful, uncomfortable fear that scares me so much. By avoiding outdoors I feel so isolated but I feel by keeping myself in I’m keeping others safe. Does anyone else ever feel like this?

I obsess on being lonely all the time. I feel like I’ve always struggled with feeling alone my whole life. Idk if it’s because my parent took their life or what it is. But if I don’t have a best friend at any given time it makes me feel like something is wrong with me and I’ll be forever alone. I do have social connections I just always feel like I’m not part of the “IN” crowd. Not sure why.

Hey all. I’ve been struggling really badly with mental compulsions. The more I don’t want them to be there, the more they come. Mental checking/reviewing is the easiest way to describe it. Anyone have any tips on how to break the cycle?

How can you do exposure therapy? like I’m not in therapy but how is it out there for you guys?