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Does anyone know how I can treat my false memory ocd? I am worrying about whether I betrayed my Partner or not. At one point, I thought I killer someone. I dont know how to handle it anymore

Hi all! I have had a variety of OCD themes such as Relationship OCD, Homosexual OCD, Transgender OCD, etc. I have a few experiences that I'm wondering if anyone has been through/can shed light on as well: -I feel as if I have a constant feeling that I need to analyze whether or not I'm 100% happy at any given moment. For example I think: "Am I truly happy? Am I experiencing life the right way? If I look around am I experiencing life with 100% clarity?" -One of my themes is stronger/more persistent than the others. And as such it makes me more fearful that it must be true. My Homosexual OCD was the first to manifest and as such I feel like it has ultimate power over me. I also used to experiment with Gay Porn when I was younger but I never felt it was "serious" nor have relationships with men interested me in real life. But I feel as if I am hyperaware of when I find another male attractive yet the thought of sexual intercourse with them doesn't appeal to me. (I'm in a very lucky and lovely relationship with my Fiancé btw). And I find myself analyzing moments of emotion with her. When I cry over something out of joy with her I feel like a fraud, like I am forcing myself to do so. But I've had genuine moments when I imagine our wedding day together alone in my car, I cry because I'm overcome with joy. -How to properly do ERP exercises. I usually attempt to let my thoughts flow like a stream and try not to attach meaning to them. I also try to force myself to imagine scenarios that are incredibly fearful in an effort to desensitize myself which only makes me feel as if I'm actually starting to like the thoughts and then they become an overwhelming, confusing wave. Thanks so much for reading! I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts and I sincerely love and appreciate your time. I hope we can all be in this together! :)

So I’m on insta and I see this young girl literally doing like a group Zumba type excercise and I think omg she’s fine the way she is she’s just a kid and she was so adorable but then it was showing her progress on her weight loss bc she was chubbier but there’s nun wrong with that, but then as she kept on losing weight I was thinking oh wow she looks good but then I had these feelings and I started to pay attention to like how her body was changing and it was showing her doing the exercise so I was like noticing certain movements and then my mind just kept on thinking “oh well she has a nice body” but it’s just ugh like I feel like I thought that and ik I did bc I was aware? And like idk I read on an pocd info thing that the ppl who have pocd have noticed certain movements and body parts of kids so when I read that I was relieved bc I thought i was like a weirdo but then after some time of reading that it feels like I’m thinking it’s okay and it’s just ocd thing where now I’m getting scared bc I’m not feeling anxious or anything and it feel like I’m just used to it so the feelings feel real or like normal like this is me now and ugh I hate it, bc I was noticing her like body bc of the progress but I just had troucvke with the feelings I felt :/ bc I was thinking omg she’s has such an adorable face like she didn’t need to do those workouts to be skinny but then she got skinny and I started noticing her body more :/ and I feel like I’m becoming a p :( and that I’m doomed and that I’m gonna do something one day which i don’t want to happen but what if I suddenly change and I do it?? :( It’s been a while since I Posted on her but yeah 🥲

After a year of depression and OCD episodes I finally got a job as a barista and have been developing so, so much confidence. It’s been incredibly fulfilling for me, and I feel myself being ready to take on more fears, such as driving. My dad, for the first time since I really got the job, asked how work was. I told him how great it’s been, and he said, “well, when you get a REAL job it’ll be way more fulfilling.” Shut down the conversation instantly. Such a big accomplishment for me, but not for him bc the bar was too low. My dad makes me hate myself. Nothing I ever do makes him happy or proud. My appearance isn’t good enough, my bf isn’t, my education (WHICH HE CHOSE BTW) isn’t, my hair isn’t, my personality isn’t, my politics isn’t, NOTHING is good enough for him! If there is anyone in the world who makes me hate myself it’s my father. If it weren’t for my father, I think I’d love myself a lot more.

Does anyone else feel the need to know their diagnosis and want to find exact explanations for why you feel the way you do or have certain thoughts. I’ve just had one NOCD therapy session so it’s just the beginning portion with assessments and have more this week but I keep having thoughts like “Is this OCD or GAD or something else?” and “What if this actually isn’t OCD?” which leads me to Google the diagnoses and also ask others for reassurance (“Do you think I have OCD?”). Any advice on how to cope with this?

Hello everyone, it has been a while since I used this app, because I've taken the time to really improve my OCD by myself and things have been working significantly better than before. A little context of the reason I started my recovery: I've had OCD for 13 years since I was 8 ( I'm 21 now) was raised in a dysfunctional household in which my parents got bad advice from my childhood therapists which led to me being put on medication which made my symptoms worse, led to me being instutionalized 3 times when I was 12, and almost led to an incourigibility hearing ( which backfired on my parents because the court called CPS) long story short in early January of this year I got into a brief fight with my brother which led to him getting angry and calling the police, and even though he didn't want to charge me, the cops took me in jail anyway and the courts charged me under the state with disorderly person and gave me a year probation. My time in jail really made me want to change my ways. Before my arrest, I was so scared to do anything because of my OCD and spent most of my time in my room and I occasionally worked at my towns park system. I was so lucky to be assigned by a therapist by the court who didn't want to force me on medication or give terrible advice to me. She did what no other therapist did before then, actually listened to me and had compassion. She gave me the boost to want to improve my life. Now I'm able to drive on highways without fearing death, not worry about keeping the same routine everyday, and do and try new things I have never done before, like online dating. I went on a dating app where you could find women from all over the world. Most of the matches I got were scams or not compatible, but eventually I found a wonderful girl from the country of Cambodia. I got her Instagram and eventually we fell for eachother. We now call eachother pretty much everyday for up to four hours and text all the time on how much we love each other. Now I am making plans to meet her in July and go to her friends wedding in her country. I have never been so happy but my parents do not support me and try to make me think that this is all a scam and that she's trying to take my money even though she has never asked for money and I have had multiple voice and video calls with her. Luckily her friend who is getting married boyfriend is also American so he is gonna help me and give me tips for what to do in the country later in the week. I'm so fortunate that probation gave me permission to go and visit there in the summer. So that has been my the last 2 months of my OCD recovery, I still have a lot to work on but I felt like I have conquered so much with myself even though my family doesn't even care. If you have read all of my rambling, sincerely, thank you, I could talk all day about my OCD recovery. If anyone at NOCD corporate wants me to be a spokesperson for their company or invite me to upcoming NOCD events, I would be forever grateful. I feel like as a recovering sufferer of OCD that I have a unique perspective on my OCD compared to others I have seen on this app and I would love to share with others on a Public stage Again, I thank everyone who took their time to read my rambling and good luck on your own OCD journey

What meds work best for ocd?

Hi! I am genuinely so happy and attracted to my boyfriend but cannot stop having extreme anxiety trying to figure out my sexuality. Some days I think I am sexually attracted to women and other days I don’t feel this way. How can I accept the uncertainty? Another part of this OCD is I obsess over what the queer community will think of me since I have limited experiences with women. I am so happy with my partner but the OCD is keeping me in fear of missing out. I keep constantly comparing myself to others and getting down that they have had more sexual partners. Seeing if I’m alone in this.

I made a post about this yesterday but no one responded My magical thinking ocd has got so bad All day I’ve been tapping my head a certain amount of times to make these thoughts go away I’m exhausted constantly having to tap my head Please am I the only one with this? Can people with magical thinking ocd tell me their experience because I feel like I’m lying

I cannot help but feel guilty for my partner having to deal with my changing emotions. The thought of they would be better off without me and I’d be better off alone were pretty high today. We got into a very silly fight today, leading to a lot of emotions and long conversation( ended up being a good convo, but also a hard one ). No matter the problem tho it sends me into a spiral about what I feel or if I even want this. I don’t mean to be like this, and I feel bad that my partner even has to put up with it. He has done his absolute best at understanding what I’m going through and 90% of the time works to talk me down - which no one has ever done -. It’s new to both of us. I just don’t know how to escape the guilt of him having to put up with my triggers and uncertainty… scared he will get fed up with it at some point and I don’t want to drag him through the mud due to my own issues: considering I also don’t know how to recognize or deal with it. just a rant or maybe if you have advice idek.. I assume some could relate

Does anyone have any success stories with there false memory ocd? Please?

Hello this is my first time posting here sorry for the long post in advance I just have to speak on this. I am a 19 year old female, and my friend is also a 19 year old female. Last year my friend who was in rehab came to stay with me after I helped her leave because she would call me crying saying it was the worst place on the planet and asking for my help. So I asked my mom if it was alright for her to stay with us and to be completely honest I thought she would say no, however she said yes not realizing it would be such a long time. So she has been living with me since August of last year. I think I’ve started compulsively taking care of her. She has 2 traumatic brain injuries and severe PTSD and bipolar 2. Before rehab she lived with her wildly abusive parents (based solely off the things she’s said and one interaction where her mother made me let her go through my purse) and she used a shit ton of drugs and drank basically everyday. All that to say she’s basically clean besides vaping (which I hate) and weed because it is the only thing that helps her pain. But recently she’s been getting a bit worse because she went through a very bad breakup with someone she barley knew and she was told by my mom that she has till the end of this month to move out. Which I feel horrible about but my house already has 5 adults living in a three bedroom one bathroom house not built for 6 people and it’s destroying my mental wellbeing. To get to the point I’m worried caring for her has become a compulsion in the way that I feel like if I’m not constantly making sure she’s not spiraling or relapsing I’m worried someday I’m gonna wake up to one of her everyday hour long texts and it’s going to be a goodbye text. I feel immense amounts of anxiety when I speak to her even if it’s a good day. Oh and to make a quick note we are as opposite as it gets I’m an anxiety ridden introvert that hates drugs other than weed and she’s the complete opposite of that. I’ve also dropped like 2 of my only friend in part because of her not fully but slightly. I just feel so much regret when it comes to the entire situation and I feel like I permanently altered the way my brain thinks when it comes to my decisions. But I just can’t think of her living alone it brings me so much fear to think she won’t have the bodily autonomy she needs to be able to live a comfortable life. She’s tried so many times to commit suicide and they never went through and she doesn’t want to but people’s whose brains have been hurt like hers has are basically hard wired to want to die. I feel cruel for wanting her to live because I truly believe she can have a somewhat fulfilling life if she can get to that point I just can’t trust that someone will care for her the way I do but it like physically pains me. I get such bad anxiety I shake and tense up and my muscles hurt but I feel so bad even feeling like that because she feels so much worse on a daily basis. Like I can’t say anything without her reminding me how much pain she’s in and she does it because it’s the only way she knows how to relate to the world. I’m worried about what life will be like when she’s not here. I feel like I’ll never have a day of peace if I don’t know she’s alive. I don’t really know what I’m asking for here I just needed to voice this because if there is anybody who possibly understands I need to know.

Its my birthday but im not celebrating😔 why celebrate when things just keep getting worse for me im not happy at all😐

My thoughts are so loud today even just normal overthinking when I don’t know what’s related to my ocd anymore I’m trying to stay positive but sometimes it’s hard to get through the day especially when I can’t talk to anyone My head hurts and my sleep has been not good lately like I know I’ll be okay but sometimes just feels like a mess and my head won’t shut up

Why do I get so so many sexual thoughts all the time About things I don’t wanna be thinking about Is this part of ocd and does anyone else have this Is this hyper sexual or just ocd because I don’t want these thoughts in my head

Any success stories with ROCD and ERP? Would love some encouragement❤️

I haven't changed my underwear in about a week and a half because I don't have any clean underwear, it's all dirty and for some reason I just can't suck it up and do the laundry this time so I've just been wallowing away in my bed feeling and smelling gross, when I think about doing the laundry I get exhausted at the thought and then I think I'm a disgusting failure and then I just don't try at all and I just lay down and sleep to escape it all I don't understand why it's so hard for me to function like other people, my room is a disaster and idk where to start, I'm spiraling so badly, I have a pile of trash in my room that I'm for some reason just waiting for the "perfect moment" to throw away, I can't do this anymore, and I never say anything to my therapist because it's so fucking embarrassing even though I KNOW that she's there to help me through this, I can't bring myself to show anyone the state I let myself live in, I feel guilty and lazy and dumb. I need to ask for help but idk how, I've had help so many times with this and my room always gets worse, I hate my room, I want my old room back, I think I do this to show that I need my old room back? But I can't have it for reasons I don't feel like explaining rn because it's complicated, I miss my childhood room, it was perfect and it had everything I wanted and it was just taken away from me, I didn't mind it being taken, a room is a room, but I'm so possessive of my things and I like to have my things exactly as they are so I don't change anything ever. Even if that means cleaning my room, this is what I know now and I refuse to change it. I wanna fix this so badly

My hands are so damaged from washing them , any tips from anyone I wash them so much because they don’t feel clean enough or I don’t want certain germs from something I’ve touched They have gone dry and sore with cuts and are bleeding

I have a fear of being drugged and everything I eat being drugged. It’s so annoying and everytime I do erp for it and eat the food anyway I am so anxious and feel weird afterwards. Any advice or help with these intrusive irrational thoughts please!

Anyone have any compulsions they didn't realize were compulsions? I ruled out OCD as a possibility for a long time because I didn't think I had any compulsions, but I'm realizing they can be a lot more subtle than the common examples, like locking doors over and over. I'm slowly discovering many small things I do that could be compulsions (excessively proofreading my posts, ruminating, seeking validation for my feelings in comments sections, etc), and I'd like to hear other people's examples too