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Comment below with some of the strangest intrusive thoughts you've had - if it's too hard for you to do, just like and let others know they're not alone <3⁠

Everything online says distraction is bad and makes OCD worse. I’ve found that when I’m really busy for a week straight my OCD is 1000 times better. Even if I play video games for a few days in a row to break the rumination from my thoughts, my OCD is actually better. Can someone help me understand? I’m getting so confused with all the different stuff online about compulsions vs not compulsions vs distraction vs rumination vs mediation etc and what’s okay and what’s not.

I keep checking things to see if he still loves me or isn’t cheating. I’m so scared. We just booked our vacation so it is going well between is I keep reminding me that when I think about this. But I’m still anxious if he really likes me or isn’t tired of me. How do I stop this constant fear?

I won’t lie; living off your baby-step progress is really hard. It’s not easy to achieve this in the first place, as it takes a lot of strength to do it. And knowing that these are just the most menial, basic things that a person does and are so difficult for you can be so hard at times. Life really does become quite small when you’re so consumed by this. Never mind the fact that you aren’t able to do the other tasks that need your attention and that your thoughts and mind are just rotting away.  Real-Event OCD has definitely been the worst of my subtypes, even though I’ve had a horrible and rough time with my other subtypes as well. They’re all really difficult to deal with, but I was able to bask in the support that I received as it wasn’t something that I sought for myself. I didn’t ask for it, but I had to deal with it, so it was definitely easier to receive support from others. But knowing with Real Event, it’s all my fault and mistake is something I find really hard to accept and move on from. The shame and guilt are overwhelming. Wishing you could change things that can no longer be changed is so painful. Like many of you, I struggle with the thought that this isn’t my OCD, and I’m using it as a coverup to move on, which has been really difficult to deal with. The certainty just isn't there. I definitely feel strongly that I’m unique in my situation, so I definitely deserve this. And no one can relate to this here since I'm the exception. But I still sit with it and try to move on, as I won’t know. I try to say maybe or maybe not to it. It’s not easy. It’s on my mind every day, and I feel miserable even if I don’t show it. But I know deep inside that I want to strive to be a better person every day and to be compassionate with others. So that I can live for myself and my loved ones and be a positive influence on society. Right now, I’m not able to help people or others in the ways that I want, since I’m not in a place where I’ve helped myself enough to be able to do that. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be able to reach that place since it feels so far away from me. But I will never know. All I have is my present. And while I'm not able to make huge, great changes out of it. It's enough that I exist in the now. So I want to tell all of you who are struggling and are having a hard time in recovery that it's okay. At times we won't have the greatest of moments, but it's okay since you exist and matter, and that's enough in that moment. You can pick yourself back up and carry on like you always do. These are all moments of power and strength that you radiate with. It's hard now, and maybe it won't be that way in the future, but be kind to yourself for pushing through and taking a break when you have to. Dealing with all of these things can be really exhausting, so just be kind to yourself, like you would be to others.

One time I think that I should live and everhthing is actually okay, but then I start to think again that I am so weird, crazy and I should end my life. :) and it's so weird and I have a feelings of derealization often, it's like I am not completely there and because of that I can't think about the things I need to work on and I am scared that I will be always like that.

I'm 37, been diagnosed with depression and anxiety since I was 16. I've thought for a few years now that I may have some ocd tendencies. But I feel like they are getting worse. I clean, every single day. I have to vacuum 2-3 times a day or I cannot relax. I have to vacuum every morning, or I can't concentrate on work, I vacuum later in the day, then again before bed to help me relax. I can't skip a day...if I do it nags at me. I'm also a perfectionist?!? I get highly irritated if things are out of order, or my house is chaotic. Sit on the furniture wrong and squash my pillow? My anxiety or irritation spikes until the person gets up and I can go fix that space. I also obsess over things, and seek answers/validation from others. When I tried leaving my job for another, I talked to anyone that would listen. Obsessing for weeks and weeks wondering if I was making the right choice, looking for someone to answer me. I could NOT think of anything else. I'm assuming this is ruminating? Now, most recently, I've been having awful intrusive thoughts. Every single night. Mostly about loved ones dying, and how will I go on. I work myself up, have anxiety attacks and cry. ...this makes sense as to why I feel the need to constantly clean or be doing something, so I don't have to think these thoughts. In my head if I can just make it to morning, nothing bad will happen during the day. I'm ferried my phone will go off at night with bad news. It's making it hard to sleep, I don't want to relax because my mind drifts to these intrusive thoughts. I don't know...no one had diagnosed me, but I feel like some signs are there. I feel like I'm slowly going crazy...and I'm so very tired of it.

Recently I’ve discovered I have a lot more childhood trauma than I originally thought. I have a counselling session every Monday atm, and so far he’s uncovered some shit I didn’t even know I had. But now it’s all out I don’t know how to even begin healing from it. People keep saying you have to live with it before you can heal but I don’t get that. I can’t keep living like this. Everyday is a constant battle to be perfect, to be someone I feel comfortable being but I never get there. I think constantly everyday, I never stop. I’m exhausted, emotionally exhausted, physically exhausted, I’m kinda lonely I won’t lie, I hate myself in the mirror half the time, I’ve literally lost a bunch of weight because I hated myself, didn’t do it very healthy either so that’s brilliant I’m back to who I was in high school, my life revolves around finding a guy? Why? Because I need to fill my life with someone who cares for me romantically otherwise I feel empty. I even now know why, because during my school life I never got the male teachers validation and I was constantly afraid of men. So what’s that done to me now you ask? I constantly need male validation to feel like a valuable member of society. Fantastic! As well as this I’m a 21 year old female who is extremely sexually frustrated but gets too attached to men because of that reason! So wtf am I meant to do? Because I keep crying when they say they don’t want anything with me, even though I respect them for that decision, because I’m scared of people leaving my life! Why’s that you ask? Because this year I’ve lost everyone important to me and people keep wanting to leave. Do now I’m stuck thinking if they don’t want me, then they’ll leave. I can’t have this. I feel out of control and I don’t know what to do. I want to heal, I want to feel fine. But I’m not sure how

So I’m 26 years old and for some reason my mom doesn’t treat me like I’m really worth a conversation. Let me explain the last 24 hours to give you all a better idea, Last night I was sitting in my living room with her and I was in there for over an hour trying to make conversation with her and she blatantly ignored me. To the point where I was like what’s this tv show your watching about ( mind you I don’t have any internet in the show ) And she completely ignores me. Then she starts talking to the tv cause the main character pissed her off and she yelled at the tv screen soI just walked away, And she was like why are you leaving and I just went to my room and maybe like an hour later she comes in my room and lays with my dog but my head was spinning ( currently weaning off my antidepressants )and I told her can you please leave I need to lay down I feel like I’m gonna pass out And she was like no and I said please get out of my bed I’m lightheaded and she says no. Then she’s like “oh well if your gonna make a face then so am I” (Playing the victim) Then today I asked her to wake up my dad for me so I could call him and talk on the phone about something and she refused to wake him up for me and told me to basically Handel it on my own So I couldn’t get in contact with my dad until 2 pm today cause he forgot to turn his phone on. Then earlier my head was spinning and I was nauseous and she calls me into her room and I was like yeah? and she’s telling me her stomach hurts. I’m like ok and I leave like she wants to make it known she doesn’t feel well either ( she always does that ) Oh I almost forgot, Yesterday she was telling me all day she wants the hair vitamins I’m currently on , So I was placing an order on Amazon and I figured let me ask her if she wants the vitamins and I text her but she doesn’t respond and I keep texting her and get no response. Finally I check my living room camera and see her scrolling on her phone intentionally ignoring me , So I asked her through the camera microphones if she wants the vitamins and she barley gives me an answer and proceeds to ignore me again Finally tonight my head wouldn’t stop spinning and I figured maybe if I eat something it’ll stop so I go in my kitchen and there’s nothing like nothing at all and I went to her and was like mom why don’t we have anything like I wish we at least had crackers my heads spinning really bad and she tells me to Go to the store and buy it myself and I tell her I can’t my heads spinning And she comes in my room with this condescending smile and goes “ you have a job you have money get it yourself “ When she left my room I just silently cried Like why are you so cruel? It just hurts me more because she’s not like this with my older sister at all and my mothers told me before she has a very special connection with my sister cause she’s her first born. Just a crappy feeling when even your mother doesn’t think your really worthy of her time or conversation.

My thoughts are spiralling someone please help. Feel like I’m going to end my relationship when I don’t want to lose the love of my life. Please help.

I can’t differentiate my obsessions from rumination from compulsions I’m going insane

Does anyone else struggle with being publicly shamed and cancelled for your mistakes in the future? It feels so intolerable for me and it’s my biggest fear. Does anyone have any advice?

Honestly I can’t handle this anymore, someone tell me that it gets better at some point because I feel like I am losing it and going absolutely crazy mentally

Does anyone on here ever wonder if the thoughts are really ocd,or am I really twisted,or do people with ocd ever act on their thoughts?im trying to get the concept that the thoughts aren’t true through my head.

I've noticed my OCD flares up most over the holidays when people I haven't seen in a long time start asking personal life questions. What makes your OCD flare up the most over the holidays?

In the thick of the holidays, we understand what a triggering time this can be for Relationship OCD. It's hard not to notice all those people on social media getting engaged and not ruminate on the "what ifs" and fears of our friends and relationships. I would love to know how your ROCD is doing this time of year? Do you have any tips you've found to be helpful as you prepare for this season?

I feel so defeated. Im 21, I have had a few serious long term relationships since 15 years old. Since 15 i have experienced what im assuming is rocd. I have never made it to 2 years with a partner before, they all walked away! The spark in all my relationships died down fairly early in. And even with the "spark" i had thoughts and feelings (anxiety.) up until the partner left. My boyfriend and i have been together basically 2 years now, and from the moment we actually made it official the anxiety started, but i chose to stay regardless. Back in August his family suffered a really bad motorcycle accident and i did not leave his side at all! Now i was fine, no spark, but i felt like i was in a good place mentally. Then i offered to go 8 hrs away for about 2 weeks to take care of his family. I cried for a brief second when he left, but i felt absolutely nothing. I was barely sad. When he left, i wasn't sad, i felt like i didnt miss him. That made me panic for a few days but eventually the panic stopped. This entire time (August to now) I've been feeling like i dont love him? But that's odd, i always have. We broke up twice (he needed a break the longest was a week.) i wasn't even sad, when we spent a week apart i was fine. I am so triggered that I didnt miss him or cry, or feel anything. I am so triggered i dont feel the physical anxiety over this rocd (if that's what is is) Im not looking for reassurance, but im also not sure why im posting this either. 😅 Just the i wrote his Christmas card, and had to google what to write because im not in that honeymoon phase and literally had no idea what to write. I used to hate time apart, i used to get jealous and now absolutely nothing. I wish i had feelings, or could feel happiness.

Before I started therapy here, I had no idea I was performing mental compulsions 24/7 - it's the unseen battle. My mind felt like a constant war-zone, and I didn't know I was fueling the fire with these different compulsions. I think there are a lot of us who are still unfamiliar to what these types of compulsions may look like. Please share your experience so others can understand what to look out for! What are some mental compulsions you have identified in yourself?

sometimes i ruminate without realizing i'm even ruminating until it's too late and the thoughts have already taken hold of me. how do i fix this? i feel like i have become my disorder. i'm so lost

Hi everyone! I live where the California earthquake hit yesterday morning and it was right when I was flying home from college on the east coast. The quake was bad, and we finally got power back but no gas. Ofc no gas = no stove, no heat, etc. they are going door to door to try to get gas working in homes and make sure everyone is safe, but my OCD is freaking out. I’m already so “just right” about Christmas and this adds a terrible layer. What if we can’t have our normal Christmas dinner? I feel like everything is totally ruined. I’m so worried and anxious. On top of it all, my cat is dying and he keeps peeing on everything and so we can’t have presents under our tree, or the sitting room organized for Christmas because he keeps accidentally ruining stuff from peeing on it. It doesn’t feel like Christmas and it’s not perfect and oh boy I am FREAKING out.

I’ve been trying to experience my anxiety rather than pushing it away. But I feel like it resets at the start of the day. Like everytime I wake up I go through it again, with the same intensity. I’m back with my old therapist, I dropped her because I wasn’t able to afford it for a while. I don’t know how long this will take, but everyday it’s the same intensity, I feel discouraged when this is the case. What if I can experience it much longer? Like I can feel super anxious for long periods of time? I remember, 2 years ago, I was constantly worried for 1.5-2 months straight. Without a break. I’m scared I will go back to that place.