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Do anyone who is actually gay mind talking to me and mind if I ask a few questions as idk if this is ocd or not

Around 2 months ago my so-ocd/hocd started after meeting up with a girl I had been messaging and when we met up I realised I wasn’t attracted to her at all. When we were hanging out and we were about to kiss, I felt disgust and didn’t want to kiss her and so just hugged her instead. Once I got home afterwards it then sent me into the spiral of thinking what if I’m gay and that’s why I didn’t want to kiss her. And this went on for a few weeks until I did research and discovered hocd and it matched completely all of my symptoms. Some days are really overwhelming and others aren’t as overwhelming because at some points when the hocd isn’t on my mind, I act exactly how I would’ve done prior to this, but then it creeps into my mind and I find myself constantly analysing people and situations and past experiences, which is extremely overwhelming and stressful. From my research I have discovered that exposure response therapy is the best way to stop this. However, I would like to know if there’s a way to either do this by myself or to not have to pay for a therapist etc because that would mean I would have to reveal this to my family, which would be embarrassing, misunderstood and I’m pretty sure they would just mistake it for me being gay in denial, which would just make the situation worse and just overall I would like to overcome this without having to go through that if necessary. I am currently messaging a girl who I find attractive and I am sexually attracted to but obviously this is affecting my thought process and I don’t want it to affect my future relationships. So if anyone could help with how to overcome this with the conditions and through exposure response which is suggested, then I would really appreciate it.

Any advice for intrusive sexually harming thoughts? I feel like a monster

Does anyone else experience false attraction and if you do can you explain what it feels like to you?

So I’ve recently discovered my ocd, my brother had been diagnosed when he was younger and struggles to a lot more noticeable degree. My parents have tried to their knowledge to help him with his obsessions before he had started therapy. I’ve always been there for my brother when he’s really dwelling on a trigger. Over time I had learned more and more about ocd and started to discover things about myself I never understood. I have struggled with mental health since I can remember and always brushed it off as chronic paranoia. But I started notice a lot of similarities between mine and my brothers triggers and after researching, realized I too suffer ocd obsessions and compulsions. My huge concern right now is even though my triggers and obsessions are different than his, I feel doubt about whether it not I am valid to speak on it. I feel guilty because I have watched him suffer false memory ocd and I don’t experience that so to me it seems ultimately worse. I had opened up to him recently about things I’ve been struggling with since I was little and he confirmed all of it as ocd thoughts and obsessions. I feel like suddenly all these unanswered questions about what’s wrong with me suddenly makes sense, but I’m so behind in discovering this that I’m afraid of being honest about it, and it being perceived by others as me trying to combat with my brothers experiences. I can talk to a therapist and it’ll feel like I’m being seen, but in my personal life, even with my boyfriend I have the chronic fear that people think I’m lying

My ex got his new gf pregnant after 3 weeks of being with her, I was with him exclusively for a year and he wouldn’t ask me to be his gf. I feel absolutely horrific and worthless, why does she get this man who takes her out on dates and makes it all happy, why does he act like an arse hole to me on nights out every time and I end up crying. Why is she better than me? The thing is, there’s a 50/50 chance it’s not his, I don’t know if he knows but she was sleeping with her ex and him when they were dating, however my brain doesn’t think of that shit situation, it doesn’t think about the drama that’s gonna happen for the fact there’s cheating involved, I just always think of the fact that I got left for another girl who is prettier than me and more sexual than me (she does onlyfans)and more out there (she has a very unique style) so all in all she’s better. I’m nice, and kind and all that stuff, but I always get the bad karma, when people I loved end up in a relationship I’m always the one left to see it happen and to end up feeling like I’m not worthy of feeling love, or feeling like I have someone there who wants to be there for me. I’m sick of being abandoned

Since I was little I had a passion for mathematics. I'm currently 14 doing university-level math and have practically decided for math to be my future career path. Quite oddly, it seems like OCD started attacking this interest, as I'm really unsure if I even enjoy it anymore or not and I'm really scared because if not math, I'm not sure what I'd want to do. Is this OCD or a sign I should move onto something else?

Today I was driving into work and a little gray squirrel ran out in front of me. I couldn't do anything except tense up and hope that he somehow avoid getting hit. My hopes went unfulfilled and it seriously hurt me. I wanted to cry. And I still do a little. I don't want to have harm come to any little critters, but I also wish that my emotions weren't so messed up to feel so empathetic about the squirrel. I would give anything to go back in time to before all my emotions and my ocd decided to go haywire.

Every time I talk to my bf I feel worse, but when I’m not talking to him I feel fine. I don’t know what to do. I keep obsessing over everything he says and the way he sounds, and the way he acts. I feel like I don’t like him anymore. It’s all so confusing. I’m so scared of hurting him. Looking back I’m pretty sure that I was experiencing ROCD or relationship anxiety, but now I’m worried that it’s morphed into real feelings. I’m so scared. I’m so worried. I cry almost every day. I’m so tired of it all

I am issuing a trigger warning because I will be discussing Su!cide themed OCD and don’t want to trigger anyone struggling with thoughts like this. ❤️ I have been struggling with suicidal themed ocd (not ideation, unwanted thoughts that are very distressing) as well as existential OCD. I am posting this to help anyone feel less alone / if anyone with similar themes wants to chat. My main fear is that I will become sick of the distress I am experiencing and will decide that I want to commit S. I also fear being depressed and being passively suicidal and am constantly checking whether I truly want to die or whether it’s OCD related. Then my existential OCD loves to join in saying “what if this is all pointless, this is all meaningless, life will never be enjoyable again” etc. I then fear that I will start to believe these thoughts because they feel so real & that my philosophy on life will change and I will take my own life because I cannot take it anymore. I feel like I cannot move on without knowing that there is a purpose and that I 100% will NOT k!ll myself. But I am aware of how OCD works. I know I need to leave these questions alone because my true values still exist deep down, but it feels irresponsible to do so. I DO NOT want reassurance, but I am sharing this so people feel less alone because these themes (especially su!cidal) are extremely taboo. Love to anyone reading this- we are gonna make it!! ❤️

I am having such a hard time right now. So I’m a person who suspects they have OCD. I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts about harming myself or my family, Also those of being a pedophile for years now. But the one that is currently in my mind is that I’m Asexual. I’ve always felt I was gay. I wanted to kiss boys I’d be aroused by the sight of them, and just wanted to be close to them. I always suspected why I never had a boyfriend was because of my apprehension and the small dating pool, and being in high school almost non existent one. So I vowed to just save it for the right person. But earlier in the week I got the thought that I subconsciously never wanted that, and that I was just lying about being gay and actually never felt attraction. Now I’m racking my brain of all the times I’ve ever liked someone, trying to find out if it was real. And it’s terrifying me. I know there’s nothing wrong with it but it just doesn’t feel right for me.

Ever since my breakup I've been obsessing over whether or not I will ever find someone I'll get married to. It's so hard to accept the uncertainty because the thought of ending up alone seems so painful and I start ruminating :( Anyone else on the same boat?

While I was praying I had some nasty blasphemous thought about Satan & my heart and I thought I said it out loud! I started freaking out and crying! It’s just sometimes the thoughts are SO loud they sound like I say them! I would NEVER say! Honestly part of me really doesn’t believe I said that because I feel like I’d know but it’s so scary to think “oh my gosh did I say that Satan & my heart intrusive thought out loud?!” Im just trying so hard not to be scared I prayed for forgiveness IF I did! Ughh I just hate these fricking thoughts and thinking I said them only makes me even more afraid and shameful because I’d NEVER say that on purpose! I love God & Jesus so much! Do you think I’ll be okay? Does they still love me?! Will they forgive me? Like I said part of me doesn’t think I said it but the other part makes me doubt myself and thinks I said that blasphemous intrusive thought out loud!!

Any moms of young children on here dealing with both ocd and raising kids? How do you guys get by? I’m feeling very off right now, very uneasy inside. I’m not sure what’s going on but I’ll take any advice to feel less alone or crazy. Thanks in advance !

Help please

why do I keep feeling like this Just wanna cry Just wanna cut I don’t know how to deal with this

does anyone else have a rly hard time getting over fights/ previous issues with partners? my partner messed up a while ago but it really wasn’t a big deal and we bounced back instantly but for some reason i can’t let it go, and the more i try to stop thinking about it the more it pops up in my head. i know our relationship is solid and he is awesome but what can i do to stop these intrusive thoughts and stop self sabotaging??

I don’t care if this sounds mean. The man just decided to post that OCD is a beneficial disorder. It angers me so mucn that people think of ocd as this thing where it makes you more clean or it makes you more meticulous and perfect, etc. etc. it took me so long to get diagnosed with OCD because nobody could understand the fact that it’s not about being clean or having any sort of obsession with cleanliness or structure. For me, I’ve always struggled with OCPD. I’ve never not been obsessed with something in my entirety of existence. I have relationship OCD. I have OCD about being in narcissist I have OCD about climate change. I have OCD about the wars going on and how they might end up the state these things have genuinely impacted my left the point where I live in fear and I get so scared and will spend hours and hours researching the possibilities of these things being true. Misinform damages literally every single person involved even people who don’t have OCD. I’m just so sick of it. This dude has a huge platform and it really bothers me that people can get away with this shit

Hey! I don’t want to get too political or upset anyone, but I just am feeling really alone: Has anyone else been facing moral scrupulosity or other intrusive thoughts about world events like the war on Gaza? It’s hard to know what’s an appropriate amount of concern and what’s OCD and it’s kind of taking over my life.

Why does it feel like nobody understands you?