- Date posted
- 33w
So maybe the title wasn't the best to to put it but when you guys start having obsessive thoughts how do you stop them before it turns into compulsions and anxiety?
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So maybe the title wasn't the best to to put it but when you guys start having obsessive thoughts how do you stop them before it turns into compulsions and anxiety?
I have to either do everything in fours or eights. It's gotten to the point where I count my heart beat or count my breaths to make sure they're all even and add up to four or eight. Anytime I see the numbers 4 or 8 anywhere I take it as a sign because four is my lucky number. When I get an intrusive thought about my family or friends about something bad happening I have to knock on something 4 times on each hand. I have a whole routine of what and what not to do. I count things all the time to make sure they're all even and if they're not my chest gets heavy and I feel like something bad is going to happen so I do anything to fix it. If I don't count it right I get really stressed and I don't know what to do or how to fix it so I have to do a whole other routine to cancel the last one out + the same routine I was just doing but correctly. If I hit myself I have to do it another 3 times. It's very exhausting
I have POCD with false memories, and this is hell. My nephew was sitting on my lap yesterday (usually I avoid him, but he wanted to come sit on my lap so I didn’t want to be mean and not let him) when I was holding him, I kept getting thoughts like ”you will kiss him” ”I might lose control” ”I need to know if I’d actually like to kiss him” ”I need to remember this moment perfectly so I know what I did or didn’t do” and the whole time my mind was racing. I felt like I was dissociating. And then I started to feel the false attraction feelings that I get sometimes when I see him. My brain mixes cuteness with attractiveness now. So when he was sitting on my lap I had to look at him to ”test” if I was attracted to him. I felt an urge to act on my thoughts. The whole time I got these images in my head and they instantly felt real. I got home and got a panic attack. It is horrible and it feels so real I just want to know the truth. His parents were sitting in the same room but they were talking to each other and not looking at us all the time. I don’t know what is real and what’s not real anymore and its scary. I don’t want to live without knowing what kind of person I am. Now I have a false memory about this, at least I hope its false. i fear that I acted on my thoughts because I also felt that weird feeling of attraction. I feel like this is proof that I am that kind of person and might’ve done it? I can’t take this anymore please someone share if you have similar experience or am I the only one?
This isn’t about ocd well it kinda is because I think my ocd is starting to make me stress and burn out a lot and I don’t know what to do anymore it’s like a constant cycle of torture and I really thought I was getting better. My household area causes me to stress a lot and just me thinking about it is getting me mad at my mom why ? It’s because she’s the main reason she has four people in our house move in because they were struggling I know it sounds selfish but we are already struggling so putting people who we hardly know in the house doesn’t make it any better she’s put my brother girlfriend now ex because they broke up while staying here my mom is letting her live with us including my brother who doesn’t even like to work and creates drama due to his own issues , my brother gf who we hardly know and I really think she lies a lot about things to get attention which really pisses me off sometimes , she’s put my nieces deadbeat mother aka her sister in here WHY? I don’t know she chose a man over her children the fourth person is my one year old niece that screams all the time and messes with my rabbit and that stresses me out because my rabbit lives in the living room ☹️ and they sleep in there like literally all four of them and it’s so annoying because why do I have to accept people to live with me that I barley know just because I’m 17 like I know they need help but I feel like it’s all too much man like it’s helped with my harm intrusive thoughts because my father which I don’t even like calling him that tried to take my mom out of this earth by stabbing her last year and he’s always fighting with her because he thinks she’s cheating which isn’t the case at all he’s just on drugs which makes him think that and she didn’t kick him out the house for even a long time I think he came back in like a month of him stabbing her which makes me have intrusive thoughts on him always harming her when I have my music to loud or when my tv is too loud so I’m literally always listening to make sure that isn’t happening it’s caused me so much stress this year he also punched me and she only kicked him out for two or three days I think and got mad at me when I wanted to file a police report she’s abusive too by the way and when I’m going through it the adults in the house turn a blind eye so my sympathy for some of them isn’t really there
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
I’m struggling really bad with ROCD lately like having the urge to confess and having extreme guilt. Does anyone have any tips please I feel like my life is falling apart
Nocd online has a good article on intrusive thoughts during sex. It recommends carrying on as usual and not neutralizing them. I tried neutralizing it, i tried carrying on as usual n not letting it have power. But jocd makes me feel guikty for engaging in sec whilr havng these thoughts. I t says im arousing over the pocd tintrusive thoughts. Ocd intrysively associates for example p0rnstars with people or kids i kniw based on similar physical characteristics like hair color, skin color, freckles etc. this particular situation i watched a pornvideo n the icd said the woman looks like a friend who i thought was sort of pretty but than it gets worse and says her child looks like her so if in n masterb@ting to the pornsttar and having intrysive associations than ocd says im arousing over them toonit just the porn video. N it tricks ne by saying since i think my friends prettythan it means i couldve been arousing over he. And then it gets worse and says if her kid looks like her than im arousing over them. I know its classic ocd ideations and it causes me great distress. I trued neutralizing n csrrying on as the theraoy says but now i feel extrene doubt guilt stress abd anxiety
So I’ve been in therapy about 9 months for ocd. My obsessions have ranged from health concerns to concerns about death and dying to house projects and fear that my house is going to be damaged beyond repair by an unknown issue. I’ve been doing alot better, but winter has been extremely hard and flared up everything again for me. Recently my ocd has grabbed on to my relationship, or rather, a past relationship. I was engaged to a guy 10 years ago that was basically my high school sweetheart. I broke off the engagement and a year later met and started talking to who is now my husband. This weekend we went for a hike near my ex fiancés childhood home was and where I spent a lot of time with him and his family over the years. Being back in that area brought up old memories and emotions, complicated by the fact that all of my direct family has also split up and I don’t have a close relationship with any of them. Well, I started remembering and thinking and ruminating and then read my old journals and felt so anxious and taken back to that time in my life. It was also to the day, 9 years ago that my mom told me she was leaving my dad. That panicky feeling I got from that conversation was the same I felt with ending the past relationship. I called my sister to talk about it and breaking off that first engagement and why would I feel sad and upset by those memories now after all these years. I guess that was giving into the ocd even more, but I did that. And then I decided to be honest with my husband and share with him how I was feeling, that I was struggling with the memories of the past engagement and time with that family and my personal families split, and he got upset and told me he felt like I have emotionally cheated on him by going back and thinking about those past events. He feels like I should be long over that by now as it was over 10 years ago that it happened. I apologized but that made me upset because I’m just trying to be honest and open with him and I didn’t realize it would backfire on me and now have him hurt and embarrassed and feeling like I’m not ‘over’ that first relationship. I don’t know what to do, I already apologized, I AM over that past relationship, but I feel like I shouldn’t have to prove that, this isn’t something I think about daily or miss the guy or want to go back and change anything. Moving on and marrying my husband now was only possible because I was over the last relationship. I’m just confused and overwhelmed with my thoughts and emotions and his reaction to them and how to move on without giving this more attention than it’s already required.
Let me give you a little back story and I promise this isn’t to bash this person like AT ALL. So the person kept. Asking and asking for advice posting 5 if not more times in a day … repost after repost saying they wanted advice but they would still keep asking as to get reassurance… so after days of helping them … and being as kind as I could possibly be … I just got frustrated because it just felt like all they wanted out of the entire help/ interaction from all these people was to be reassured and everyone knows that’s a huge NO NO of OCD….. so of course I felt frustrated… it feels like my advice was falling on deaf ears… opinions? Did I go too far
I think maybe after having some clear and clarity. Feelings of “No interest” and “I don’t want to” when approached with things in the relationship are tell tale signs that you know when a relationship does reach incompatibility. Sorry if this is triggering but I feel that when it brings you more unhappiness and exhaustion then it is saying something I need to listen to. And the clarity of a truth that I do not like and need to make an action is anxiety provoking because it’s a negative to initially break up regardless. But I’m just feeling after when you know and feel it and it is more draining. It is saying something. I believe that if you love your SO, you know and the thoughts and feelings go against what you value/what you want. And my feelings are always the opposite and met with anxiety which leads me to believe that it is wrong?
having trouble with cheating ocd & pocd bc of some bad situations that happened w my old summer job. i was a camp counselor before getting together with my partner. camp was an overall great experience, but I'm convinced that I'll cheat on my partner if i work there again bc of the summer hookup culture. I don't want to cheat on my partner I'd never want anyone but them, but I also can't trust myself to know that. when i was working i was single and interested in a coworker who would always "joke" flirt w me. i even told him i was into him at the end of summer & got denied (which was very bad for my intrusive thoughts, i get kind of disgusted with myself for thinking sexually about anybody who isn't mutually interested). since getting together with my partner the coworker messaged me, telling me he had a dream where i was "hot and tall with a swimmer's body," and jokes about me being "hung." it made me really uncomfortable, and i convinced myself of a lot of terrible stuff: this was my fault bc i used to flirt w him it wouldn't have happened if i never did that, the conversation was basically cheating because it was my fault to begin with. few weeks ago i caught a glimpse of a different summer crush's Instagram, had a passing thought of him being attractive and couldn't stop ruminating on it. felt like i was essentially cheating and it was more evidence that I can never go back to camp. and the scariest one. mostly come to terms w this but it's still terrifying. an underage coworker rlly came onto me, they initiated basically cuddling under stars and i had a passing thought about liking it and i was so so so disgusted with myself for days. i begged an online friend for reassurance. i know now that it doesn't mean anything, i had absolutely 0 romantic or sexual intention with this person. but i can't go back to camp if they're there, because i feel like they might think im a pedophile and in those circumstances it's the underage person's feelings who matter. if they feel hurt or uncomfortable bc of how i went about that situation then it's all my fault and i must've had horrible intentions. my obsessions over these complicated, real situations (+ ocd fabricated nonsense) are ruining a place i once loved.
I have the thought of what if I lose control and do something out of my control like scream for no reason or yelling in a store or just blurting stuff out that’s not in my control and it causes so much anxiety and causes me to feel weird. I always think I’m on the edge of losing control of myself and it’s exhausting living like this. Any tips?
I have been with the same girl for over 8 years and met her when I was in high school. I wasn't always the best boyfriend and obviously that young I made many mistakes in our relationship. Although, I never physically cheated, I did think of other girls or look at other girls social media accounts while getting off. I know its wrong now and its something I wouldn't do again, I guess I thought if as like watching porn. Anyway, for the past year I have dealt with a lot of OCD thoughts in my relationship. It seems to always switch reasons, but it always ends up with my relationship. My first panic attack made me believe that she wasn't "the one" and that I had to leave or it felt like I would die. Then I started to ruminate on past mistakes that I did and feel guilty if I don't tell her everything. And most recently, I have extreme guilt about getting off to other girls, which is something I haven't done in awhile. I feel like I'm lying to her by not telling her every singe detail and I this extreme guilt that I cannot get rid of. I feel like a cheater and that she wouldn't love me anymore, If I told her the truth. Obviously, I know it's normal to look at other girls and think they are attractive. But my mind says I have to confess her each time I think this. And the fact that I went a little further to getting off when we were younger makes things even worse. I love this girl with all my heart and I don't wanna hurt her at all. But it's killing me keeping everything inside and not sure where to go from here. Anyone experience anything similar or have any advice?? Thanks in advance!!
This is a realistic fear for me. Had it for decades.
I’m someone who’s struggled with so many forms of OCD, taboo thoughts etc., but what has really been kicking me in the butt lately is Real Event OCD. I did something I’m ashamed of before I met my partner, so now while I’m trying to navigate the REOCD itself and learn self compassion, I also have this nagging feeling that my partner deserves to know about my worst moments, because otherwise they can’t love the “real me” and I’m lying to them. The event didn’t hurt anyone, but it’s left me so incredibly ashamed and I know if I didn’t have OCD, I likely would never say anything. But ROCD makes me feel like I’m lying to my partner about who I am if they don’t know. Does anyone relate? I know confessing would be a compulsion, but when these two forms of OCD get tangled it feels impossible to know what to do.
I was scrolling on here and now I’m having a panic attack. Someone posted resources and one of them was a NOCD article and I thought that was so great. I clicked on it because I like learning about this disorder and I love NOCD’s resources. But I read that one of the compulsions for pocd is watching cp? I thought that wasn’t a thing with POCD. I literally cannot breathe because I feel like this thing is now possible and I cant calm down. That was the first time I’ve ever seen that stated as a compulsion. I feel like I’m dying. What triggered my spiral in the first place was months ago someone contacted me and told me they watched it but claimed OCD and I felt absolutely horrified. I deleted my account and removed that person entirely. I am freaking out so bad I really can’t seem to breathe right now
I feel like I should give some context. So a year ago, I went though a two week thing of what I can only describe is some sort of psychosis. I convinced myself god told me I was going to die. I couldn’t sleep. And I even had my aunt take me to the er. I think this stems from the amount of loss I’ve witnessed. When I was 15, my dad died, 4 months after that my cousins. A year after that, my grandmother committed suicide. For the longest time I had the worse health anxiety…that is, until I met my current bf. Before, I’d be in relationships where I’d have to worry about my partner, because they’d be so consumed in their own problems. I never got to actually focus on myself. I’ve never been in a long term HEALTHY relationship. I used to have driving anxiety, but my boyfriend pushed me to get a car, and I’m now driving. Something I never thought I’d be able to do. My boyfriend pushes me in way and holds me accountable. Something no men has done before..not since my father was alive. I’ve come to the realization my brain is on the defense because I’m being held accountable to do better, which is why for the last month, it’s like I’ve been in a fight or flight mode. My thoughts just keep saying “leave”. No logical reasoning behind it. I’m very religious, and my boyfriend shares the same beliefs as me, something rare now a days. I’m just exhausted of these constant thoughts. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But I’ve just been feeling hopelessness, and I won’t stop feeling these constant thoughts
How do you guys get past the anxiety? I feel like my thoughts are the only thing that control my mind. So often I feel like I should just leave my partner even tho I love them so much because I just feel like these thoughts are too much. I over analyze everything. I feel so stuck and defeated. I just want to be normal. I feel so toxic for the thoughts that I have
Hello, does anyone know how long it takes for sertraline to work? I've just started my treatment 1 hour ago (I know I'm very impatient) but I just wanted to know, and does sertraline 25mg work? I'm afraid it won't work.
Hey all, I’m new here. I have been attending therapy regularly for about a year and a half now. I am coming to realize that I may have OCD. My boyfriend has a daughter who is 12, and I feel like I am constantly criticizing how she does things. Not replacing the toilet paper roll when it’s out, not turning off the lights when exiting a room, not putting back the hand towel on the hook instead of on the bathroom counter, and not rinsing off dishes before setting them in the sink. I tried to talk to my boyfriend about these things, and I try to look at it from a stand point that we are raising an adult, and she is almost 13, she should begin learning how to clean up after herself. My boyfriend who also struggles with mental health views these situations as “not deep,” and it makes me feel controlling. When I was younger, my mother would always yell at me to take care of my things, bring my items back to my room, clean my room etc. So as a “step parent,” it’s hard for me not to expect the same, only I go through my partner as a buffer before directly asking his daughter to take care of whatever she didn’t take care of. I just don’t want to be viewed as a “mean” step parent because I am constantly asking for things to be taken care of. I feel a sense of loss of composure if things are not where I left them and it seems to be more important to me than those that I live with. With that being said, I am in between seeing a PCP, but will resume in March. I wanted to see if anyone in this community is familiar with problems associated with obsession, control, and order in your home or at your job. Are there any medications that you would recommend? Any that you wouldn’t?? I do have anxiety at times as I work as a social worker, but I seem to manage it well for the most part without medication. Let me know your thoughts 😌
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