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the NOCD Community

My mind likes to think about all of the things I don't have in comparison to others, so I'm just writing this to remind myself of what I do have in my life to be thankful for. That definitely includes the NOCD community. :)

Anyone here experienced this thing where I put the prompt of my fear in a little different style and use of words and it gave me a result saying my fear might be true and then when I used a little different way of putting my fears in words the ChatGPT gave me result saying how my fears are irrational and irrelevant. so I think the prompt is very important when you use ChatGPT. When I got the negative feedback I got really panicked and wasted two days overthinking about it .Also should the people with OCD completely avoid using ChatGPT or AI for their fears or reassurances.?? Please let me know your opinion.

I feel so disgusting😭

I’ve been struggling with so-ocd for a long time now. Lately, there’s been a bad flare up and it’s been making me think that I’ve actually been lying about my sexuality and an actually a lesbian in denial. I can’t tell whether this is real denial or just so-ocd, but it honestly feels so real that I can’t tell anymore. Today I hung out with a guy after a very long time and at first things were good, but when things started to get somewhat intimate, I began to panic badly. I kept thinking “oh god I hate this, I’m gay” and kept having thoughts to just let it happen and I don’t know why. I did end up letting some things happen, and after a while I actually started to ease up a bit. I wanted to kiss him badly at times, but for some reason just couldn’t bring myself to, I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. After some more time, I began to get really touchy with him and started feeling comfortable again, but the anxiety was still there. Like I was afraid to make a move or something. I can’t tell if this is just me having anxiety or just being uncomfortable because of the possibility of being a lesbian in denial. I don’t know, but it’s been stressing me out. I’m laying in bed and I was watching a movie, and I had this thought of him laying next to me while cuddling and how it would seem nice. Throughout the hangout with him, I wanted to hug him really bad, but what if I’m just thinking this because I’m denying the possibility of being into girls? I hate feeling like this, I have having anxiety around this, I can’t even tell the difference anymore and I feel like a parasite lives inside my mind. Is this so-ocd or just normal anxiety??

I’m genuinely curious: does your religion help you face the things that are difficult when it comes to OCD? Sometimes I feel like I want to be a better person, to find strength to face difficult things, and to be more loving toward myself and others. I have been curious about Christianity over the past few years and feel a sort of call. But from the outside, it seems confusing too. For example, when I image praying to God and asking him for strength, or “give up” control of a certain situation, this gives me anxiety. I think there’s a part of me that DOES want to be in control. So in a way, perhaps having faith would be an exposure for me. But, I also hear that faith can sometimes make OCD difficult, say if you’re trying to pray perfectly, behave morally, or figure out what God is trying to tell you, etc. In other words, faith becomes a compulsion. I want to know about what this is like for other people. How does faith affect your OCD?

I almost feel guilt for being on this app. Like, everyone here is struggling and this is just my big excuse for the human I am? I have ocd but that doesn't mean I can't ALSO be what I fear? Am I just living a lie? It also feels like when people say "intrusive" thoughts, it proves I'm just lying because the thoughts don't feel intrusive. They feel more terrifying and dark, not like they're randomly jumping at me and disturbing me. It feels more like I'm constantly questioning myself and one specific question rather than being disturbed by a random thought that popped into my head?

I was diagnosed with PTSD from military sexual trauma a few years ago but have struggled with OCD and ADHD as a young girl like 5/6, and 2 years ago found out my husband had been hiding an affair. I can’t get over it. I’m supposed to start EMDR next week and I am scared about it making it worse. I’m scared to divorce and scared to start because I keep “knowing” it will happen again. I can’t stop obsessing over the things they did and the other woman. Then it worsens my ROCD I can’t stop bringing it up. Im arguing all the time it’s like I need to talk about it because I need to know he understands and I need a guarantee it won’t happen again and I haven’t slept more than 3-6 hours in quite literally 3 years. It never ends . Any time we are together now I am constantly obsessing over things being off. I’m living in a prison in my own head and I desperately want to get out because I need to make the best decision for myself and my kids. Has anybody had any luck healing from CPTSD comorbid OCD?? I feel like they’ll both feed each other off my soul until there’s nothing left

I have been blocked again by people who I considered to be very helpful in my OCD journey on here... this is why i don't like talking about my real events ocd... its because people will shame me and block me... and think I'm a PDF...

i've been messagging with a friend i havent seen for a long time and we're planning to see each other in a few days. he sent me on whatsapp as a joke a sticker of 2 naked guys running around with their p*n*s erected to like sword fight. I looked at it to make sure to confirm they were adults, but I couldn't really tell, they had an unclear face. They looked old enough to look like they were 25 or maybe less, perhaps minors, which is my biggest concern. he obviously didn't mean anything ill by it, he's a good person, should i sit with this uncertainty and hang out normally with him? I don't feel as hyped to see him right now.

can you have ocd about how you look? i’ve never been diagnosed with body dysmorphia so i don’t wanna say that’s what it is but everything i read about it i heavily relate to. i dunno if the two overlap but i’ve always been overly obsessed and critical with my appearance. constantly checking in the mirror (or completely avoiding mirrors) and rethinking even the smallest of things like how i do my hair, something i’m wearing, my body, etc. looking at old pictures of myself or comparing myself or others online when i feel bad. i have thoughts about how ugly i must be and if anyone says otherwise i’m convinced they’re joking or lying. like i sometimes genuinely feel so ugly that i shouldn’t be seen and that it would be an embarrassment for anyone to talk to me or be seen with me. it’s especially bad when i think of being in a relationship, like i should just stay away from other people, even just trying to talk to people. i’ve never talked to a therapist about this because it feels embarrassing but i genuinely don’t know if this is ocd related or something completely separate.

Adults only Just tearing up. Remembering the traumatic moments. I'm really just trying to give myself patience, understanding, and kindness. I at least can admit I don't want to watch adult content. It's just a coping mechanism I picked up at a very young age and I'm just trying to undo it. I'm also trying to undo the shame. Some days are way too hard and some days aren't. Still feeling pretty lost right now.

Adults only Just want to cry because of how much porn messed up my life and made it so much worse. Can't stop thinking about the flat out borderline illegal things I've seen as a teenager. All the things that scarred me. How I've sexted random people online How it's still here in my life destroying my confidence day after day. How I watch extreme things that I would normally be against I just want to cry it all out but can't

I’m curious on what random/fun/nice things you all do to help yourself during a hard time. Take a bath? Sing and dance? Therapy techniques? Exercise? Meditation? I’d love to hear some new things I could try for myself, and also it’s nice to just get the community sharing happy helpful things!

My bf and I are long distance. I haven’t seen him since early April and we were both looking forward to my prom next March because we could see each other. Turns out the day of my prom is while my bf is on a school trip that he can’t be refunded for and he signed a waiver saying he can’t back out. He isn’t able to visit before or after and I’m crushed. I’ve been sobbing the entire day and he’s bummed but he isn’t that affected by it (he’s js not an emotional person). I get to visit him for his prom the month after but those are the only two times out of the entire year we get to see each other. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it let alone talk to him. I’m not mad at him I’m just so upset and don’t want to put it on him. I’m so angry at myself for not being able to let it go and I hate that there is nothing that can be done. I’m obsessing about it so bad and I have a really bad headache from crying. I just don’t know how to get over it and I don’t want to obsess about this for months or let it impact me but I know it will. I don’t know what to do or how I’m just supposed to get over it. I hate how dramatic I’m being

I know it may not be related to OCD but I’m having a hard time this holiday season. I keep having false hope due to the nature of Christmas itself… I am missing someone who was toxic in my life and I can’t seem to find anyone better to replace them. I keep crying and feeling lonely all the time, and I try to heal but it’s so hard, still tempting to look at their socials to see if they still miss me.

I thought this was funny in a sad sort of way. I used to have obsessions about checking to be sure I was "really" trans and that I wasn't making it up. The years when I was debating top surgery were the worst. I think the whole thing started when I came out and my mom told me I was just mentally ill (lol both can be true), and then later my ex became a TERF which really messed with my head, and I was psychologically self-harming by reading TERF blogs. It took a lot of therapy, including somatic work, to detangle what I actually wanted to do medically and a lot of time to realize my ex was extremely unwell and that I shouldn't take her word as truth. I've since accepted that my gender doesn't fit nicely in a box, and that while I've grown more confident in my trans identity based on how medical interventions have improved my relationship with my body, it's not as tidy for me as narratives you see in the media. I still have occasional doubts, but they no longer ruin my day. I could probably do more with the doubts now that I'm about to start ERP, but they're honestly no longer my top priority which is a nice feeling

Well guys, I guess I’m going to be getting off this app. My last post got no responses, so I guess I just need to move on, and live this dreadful life.

Short version: has anyone here overcome OCD associated with having enough saved for retirement? I’m a frugal, well paid, healthy male with a long term partner (she’s 34, 7 years together) who I get along well with. We are a great match for the most part. Always have been, we feel loved and are supportive of each other. However, my partner is still in debt to the IRS (2 years worth of taxes) and more CC debt, and we aren’t married because I refuse to take on her debt. I pay for almost everything in our relationship, except her rent (she owes me about 11K when she was jobless last year and pays late almost every month ). This is the first year we’ve both had jobs with benefits — previously, we were both getting laid off or working short contracts the past 6 years, over and over, even after moving to a city where we have more opportunities). I’ve been diagnosed with OCD due to my rumination and the urgency I attach to problems and dissatisfaction consistently. Despite our great love life, I spend every moment of the day obsessing over how she is the reason my retirement savings aren’t as much as they should be. I have about 2/3 saved of what I’ll need, which I’m incredibly grateful for, but she has nothing. I’m frustrated that I’m with someone who isn’t making the same financial sacrifices I made in the past and still make today (in order to save up money even though I pay for almost everything in our relationship ). ERP is helping a bit, but me and my therapist both acknowledge that sometimes it feels like I’m gaslighting myself because this is a real issue— me and my partner will CERTAINLY need more money in retirement than we (I) have now. It’s frustrating because I also do most the chores, cook the meals, I have better hygiene habits, I set more goals, and I’ve left behind many of my past hobbies and activities just so I can keep us afloat, and I’m just more thorough overall. On top of this, I’m finally getting over the OCD I had for years about not owning a home yet. My first big relationship in my 20s swindled me out of about $20K+ and my second big relationship in my 30s was someone I treated like a goddess (and I got nothing in return), so this feels like the 3rd time I’ve spent loads of money on someone who isn’t giving their best every day… I feel like I could have honored my own values instead and been better off (albeit lonely/single). I’ve accepted I likely can’t buy a house ever (because even with enough saved for down payment, it would be even more money to spend monthly since I pay for almost everything as outlined above). The two times I could have, I ended up having to buy a gently used car to replace an old car. I consistently feel like even though this partner is a better match than any other prior, in almost every way, even though we still don’t align on finances and how to spend our time (I spend time accomplishing things and she watches TV while scrolling her phone). No matter how many sweet things she does or says, in my mind it doesn’t matter because she isn’t pulling her weight with the basics (money, chores, cleanliness, etc). I am struggling to know if I should leave or stay. It’s been crystal clear from the start how much we love each other, and I don’t want to throw that away but, even our relationship therapist hasn’t offered any solid input (they think we are “great!”… and it seems that way until finances are discussed). My NOCD therapist is great, and also has a family/relationship therapy background, so I’m hoping we can start to address this beyond ERP practice. I wish I could just say “get your debt paid off quicker by cutting back on certain expenses and pay me rent on time. And if not, at least take better care of the house and yourself”…. But I can’t say that. I am an earnest, loving person, and I’m at a loss how to have this conversation because all ERP is doing is showing me how to squelch the noise and the thoughts…. But the financial problems remain. Any input or help is appreciated. PS, I work in finance, so please spare me money tips.

I saw on Twitter someone was calling a character beautiful and people were pointing out they're 16 (At which point they said they didn't know who the character was and apologised) and unfortunately a lot of people defending it because "They're fictional" the art itself was completely innocuous, it was the game awards nominees or something but like the characters on the red carpet and it was posted by an official game studio and before I was reporting people defending the original poster by saying awful things (They weren't one of them, they genuinely didn't realise and was apologetic), I zoomed in on the image to see if I could recognise the character but I couldn't and my OCD convinced me it was for more sinister reasons and I had a groinal, even now my OCD is giving me intrusive thoughts and images sexualising the character and I really hate them

I know I’m going to sound ridiculous but I need to vent about it now anyways Recently I’ve had massive anxiety over my steam account and the games I’ve played on them, I know the steam recap is coming up and the game that’ll show on mine (nothing NSFW or weird) is giving me massive anxiety. It’s the fact that I don’t necessarily love a majority of the games that’ll be on there but liked enough to put some time into. There’s also a game on there that I made the mistake of removing the achievements for which also adds an inconsistency. Knowing that there’s stats like this being track on places like steam add constant pressure for me to finish games I’ve started or play more other games which burns me out. Like I’d rather have a profile that’s actually *me* and not something OCD driven if that makes any sense. This year I’ve spent about £600 on games so making a new steam account would crush me massively too. I just don’t know what to, I had issues like this a few years ago with my PlayStation profile and I thought when I move to PC these things would be better but of course they weren’t. Obviously there’s other, bigger issues in my life but as of late this has gotten to me quite significantly, gaming is something that used to help me take my mind off of these other issues but it’s slowly becoming a part of the problem. I don’t expect any advice but I’d appreciate it anyways. Just massively lost.