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Dear old life despite the fact that HOCD attacked me during the ending of June and now I just wanna say I miss my old life even though my ex girlfriend/fiancée left me even though I lost my grandfather a month before that and losing my best friend my cousin just three months ago despite the trauma I prefer to stick with the trauma instead of HOCD But life is hard that’s what it is life’s not supposed to be easy life it’s supposed to bring us challenges and obstacles that we must overcome in order to be stronger and be better than what we were before I’m not quitting on the flight with HOCD I don’t know how to give up but I’ll tell you one thing I’m fucking going to fight for my normality Even though that’s not a word but I’m creating it if my thoughts create some thing then I’m going to create something of my own that I want to create and I just created a word fucking Magic. That was real that was me not HOCD I’m gonna fucking kick your ass you wait and see because I’m a beast no need to tease just watch me accomplish this with ease, these thoughts are are just false you can try the assault but you will be lost so go ahead and try to throw me a toss you will see that I’m a boss. I won’t hesitate, Bring it on see if I care now, I know I’m going to decimate, you wait and see because I’m a beast my motivation has increased watch me accomplish this with ease I’m not a tease i’m a beast you you wait and see I am the key no need to plea

Anyone else been stuck, unemployed, at home for a long period of time? How does it make you feel? I'm currently studying from home and my last job was 2 years ago. I left school 4ish years ago. I just feel like shit. I have a small service based business I've been trying to get going, but its difficult and covid ruined most of my bookings this year. It's horrible feeling useless when it feels the whole world is moving, and everyone is graduating, getting married or idk reaching some other milestone and I'm just lost in an abyss of dark confusion.

I’ve been having a really rough two weeks. I’ve been great for months and all of a sudden it hit hard out of nowhere. I’m anxious, sad, and my intrusive thoughts have been at an all time high. I feel like I’m trying to do things to combat the thoughts and nothing is working for me. I’m feeling scared and trapped. Each time I hear something bad on the news or see something triggering I feel worse and the thoughts come flooding back strong. Any suggestions?

Hey everyone I’ve been doing a lot of erp work for sexual orientation HOCD and would be interested in getting in touch with people who are doing the same. Today I ramped up my exposures and had a pretty tough time. Just want to see if there are some people who’d wanna talk ab our experiences in a daily basis. Let me know !

How many people suffer from false memories ? i completed my therapy through NOCD and I still get thoughts infact they have been coming in really intense lately but I feel my brain rewiring itself especially where false memories are concerned . I suffered bad TOCD and today false memories were intruding but they are not lasting long and my anxiety is spiking down alot . I had a big issue with false memories but my mind doesn’t try to argue with them much . My OCD is hanging by a string I think . I just wanns give support love and strength to everyone battling it . I’m still recovering but I am still here for everyone and I love this community.

kindly read hi, seems like a lot of you need to be reminded of this. to those who have HOCD and POCD, it's just your OCD, it's not you. i know it feels so real and you seem to like the intrusive thoughts, but it's really just your OCD. I know this sounds crazy, but don't stop the thoughts/feeling. easier said than done, but really needed. what i realized about OCD is mindfulness is very important. you can have thoughts that won't reflect who you really are. how about your false attractions/groinal responses? JUST LET THEM. it's caused by extreme anxiety, arousals aren't just caused by sexual attraction, ya know. you lost you attraction to the opposite sex? IT WILL COME BACK. whenever intrusive thoughts and mental images come into my mind again, i always remind myself this "yeah OCD, whatever. that won't change my identity." i know, mindfulness is easier than done. it requires lots of practice tbh. to able to sit with the thoughts and feelings without giving any meaning to them is hard. BUT YOU HAVE TO DO IT. i also highly encourage you to curse your OCD, like i do "FUCK YOU OCD. FCKING ASSHOLE" "screw you and your intrusive nature, OCD. i wont let you ruin me" YOU ARE NOT YOUR INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS. DOESN'T MATTER IF IT FEELS SO FCKING REAL. OCD IS A LIAR, IT DISTORTS WHAT YOU TRULY VALUE. SO STARTING TODAY, PUT YOU DAMN CHIN UP AND DON'T LET YOUR FEAR TAKE OVER YOU.

I'm only 12 years old I've been having suicidal thoughts for no apparent reason which I found very strange they won't leave me alone so I got this app hoping I'd get some help

The whole idea of ocd being chronic really puts me down. I had these thoughts from 12 years old and it went away and it appeared back when I was 20 and harm ocd really made my life so hard. Legit ruined a year of my life and somehow the thoughts went away and now suddenly after 8 months my thoughts are back again. I feel like I’ll never enjoy my life like I used to. Looking back this is probably like my 4th time dealing with OCD... started off with Sexual Orientation intrusive thoughts then to suicidal ocd then to thinking I was bi to then violent thoughts and harm ocd and now back to ocd. I wanna live life like everyone else. At this point I think this phase is gonna get worse.

How do I accept myself? I figured I'm actually bisexual besides the OCD as I've experienced attraction to men prior to OCD and I know it was real. I'm so depressed about it I feel like I could kill myself. I don't want to be bisexual. I dont feel happy calling myself bisexual. Any tips?

can we do this thing that if you see this comment your worst intrusive thought or thoughts. this of course is a judgement free zone. feel like it would be helpful

Just gave up, I get wasted drunk everyday, feel like it a better than suffering from HOCD for 6 years or forever ... fuck it

This has been one of the worst days of my life. I’ve had 2 break downs today, over taxes. I think I’ve made mistakes in past years returns, and now I don’t know what to do. I’m going to be in such trouble. I can’t function like this anymore

hi everyone. really seeking just some compassion and understanding right now from people who understand what it’s like. I think yesterday I truly hit one of my lowest points struggling with OCD and anxiety, and I let myself sit in the moment which was anything but productive. my intrusive thoughts were getting worse and worse post break up with my now ex boyfriend who was open about his self harm in the end of our relationship which caused me intense stress and worry. constantly, for the past few weeks I’ve been concerned that I’d get the call that he killed himself. I hadn’t heard from him in a week or so, and last night I acted on my intrusive thoughts for the first time in a very very very long time. it hurt, not physically, but emotionally because the dark things I think were coming to life because everything I’d ever overthink about actually came true. this morning, I woke up and was thinking about how the world keeps going without me and I got overwhelmed thinking about the fact that I couldn’t get myself under control. I ditched the plan I had to not talk to my ex unless he reached out to me because of the point I was at, and it ended poorly. I expected at least some compassion because he knows me, but I was just met with anger towards me and he blocked me. I know I made a mistake, but my thoughts have gotten out of control and I am completely physically drained from my anxiety. I’m frustrated that I keep ruining things around me. I’ve already made an appointment with a therapist (the earliest I could get was in 2 weeks), but I’m not sure what to do in the meantime. I’m so exhausted from my thoughts alone and am out of ideas.

Fun new obsession! I worked under a TA who I thought was super hot. I was happily committed to my now husband, but at the time I still harbored a lot of attraction toward this man, to the point of occasionally fantasizing about him. I felt awful about it then and I feel bad about it now. I’m trying to rack my brain and make sure nothing inappropriate ever happened, I can remember hoping he thought I looked good and wanting him to think I was funny but I never did anything besides my work when I was with him. I’m convinced this makes me a bad person or even worse, that I’m destined to cheat on my husband. Other instances happened when I was drunk, never to the point of cheating thank god, but flirtations with other men. This hasn’t happened since I was a freshman in college as I stopped heavily drinking and realized how much I needed to work to be the best version of myself. I constantly feel guilty, like I need to atone for what happened. This is almost worse than the crippling HOCD I’ve been fighting. Please help❤️ and thanks if you made it this far lol

I don’t get to have real love I don’t think. Something feels off yet again, clearly the ones who claim it’s real, lie for social media appearance! Men never seem genuine, not to me anyway, either it’s not real or I’m not worthy

Hello everybody. Sometimes i go through a very serious and discomforting ocd episode. The anxity is so much that i think i cant take it anymore. I cant believe im alive because the pain is sooooooo much. The anxity is so hard that i wish to die. I really dont mean that never even tried to. Just the pain is soooo much. Like 10 from 10.And it makes me cry. I think my body cant handle that pain anymore. Like this pain is beyond my ability to survive. At that times i wish to die rather than living like this. Maybe i should not do the compulsion. But most of the times ocd wins in this situation.

Can intrusive thoughts or just anxiety be on family members?

Looks like I was wrong about my sexuality besides the OCD. I am likely a febfem. I've remembered I had some attraction to some men before the OCD and I know it's not a false memory. I'm sad because I would absolutely never date a man and would absolutely never be happy with one. But I guess I'm still attracted to them. I'm really sad, but I have to accept it. Thank you all.

I ask God over and over about something, hoping to hear back from Him with a word or picture. I will ask and ask and ask again. For example, I will pray- 'Jesus what does it mean to rest in you?' Then I will wait a few seconds, and ask again up to 8-10 times, changing the words in hope that works better. I get more and more upset and distressed as the time goes on. I feel it is my fault that I can't hear anything back, that I must not be close enough to God and not spending enough time with Him. I don't have an answer to my own post or question.. I just hope perhaps someone might be able to see the wood from the trees in my post and help me? ? Thank you NOCD community?

I always considered myself a heterosexual woman but these days I'm having doubts that I'm a homosexual or bisexual because i used to look at pictures of nude girls or girls in bikinis and kind of felt aroused.But I never felt anything sexual towards other woman or never fantasised about them. I have a boyfriend whom i love so much and i want to marry him. I am scared that because i used to look at that kind of pics I'm a lesbian and i will not be able to love him like before. I am also suffering through relationship ocd which is even making this tough for me. I don't want to lose him.